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How can one be active listener?

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Patrick’s Answer

Jeddy, it's important to understand that active listening is a vital ability. It requires fully engaging with the person speaking, comprehending their message, and responding suitably. To master active listening, you need to develop certain key habits and techniques. Primarily, it's crucial to give the speaker your undivided attention. This means maintaining eye contact, facing them directly, and reducing distractions like phones or other gadgets. Showing attentiveness through body language, such as nodding or leaning in, can also express interest and support to the speaker, creating a positive communication atmosphere.

Moreover, active listeners concentrate on understanding the speaker's viewpoint and emotions, rather than merely waiting for their chance to talk. This includes empathizing with the speaker, recognizing their feelings, and practicing empathy by imagining yourself in their position. Reflective listening techniques, like paraphrasing or summarizing the speaker's message, show understanding and offer a chance for clarification or validation. Asking open-ended questions and seeking clarification when needed can also help ensure clear communication and deepen understanding of the speaker's thoughts and emotions.

Additionally, active listening demands withholding judgment and avoiding interruptions or hasty conclusions. Rather than forming responses or counterarguments while the speaker is talking, active listeners keep an open mind and avoid projecting their own assumptions or biases onto the conversation. Practicing mindfulness and being fully present in the moment can help quiet the mind and improve focus, allowing for more effective listening and communication. Furthermore, active listeners aim to create a supportive and respectful environment where the speaker feels listened to, appreciated, and understood, building trust and rapport in interpersonal relationships.

In work environments, active listening skills are especially valuable for establishing rapport with coworkers, resolving disputes, and promoting effective teamwork and collaboration. By actively listening to coworkers' viewpoints, ideas, and concerns, individuals can promote a culture of mutual respect, empathy, and inclusivity at work. Active listening also plays a crucial role in leadership, as effective leaders prioritize understanding and valuing their team members' input, building trust and empowering others to contribute their best ideas and insights.

To sum up, becoming an active listener requires intent, practice, and a dedication to understanding and empathizing with others. By developing habits like giving full attention, empathizing with the speaker's viewpoint, and withholding judgment, individuals can improve their communication skills, deepen interpersonal bonds, and promote a culture of respect and collaboration in both personal and professional relationships. Active listening is not just a valuable skill for effective communication, but also a fundamental aspect of building strong, meaningful connections with others.
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Shari’s Answer

Here's a valuable piece of wisdom that had a profound effect on me a few years back: "Most folks are just waiting for their turn to talk." In simpler terms, instead of really absorbing what's being said, we're often busy formulating our own replies. Remembering this can help you avoid cutting off the person who's talking. It's perfectly fine to take a moment to gather your thoughts before responding.
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Jerome’s Answer

I learned that people speak at about 140-180 words per minute, but on average, a listener can comprehend about 400 words per minute. This will often lead to the mind wandering and for some of us to not be present fully during conversations. I have also found that people listen with the intention of responding and not understanding what the person is saying,

What can you do differently? You can remove distractions when listening to someone. Don't be on your phone, look directly at the person and ask follow-up questions. In order to do that, you have to be listening. While they are talking, repeat what they are saying in your head and try to come up with a follow up question. Keep the conversation flowing on what they are sharing and don't just jump in with your thoughts. Showing curiosity and engagement with others will show them that you are actively listening.

Jerome recommends the following next steps:

Practice asking follow up questions when talking with people.
Remove distractions when talking with others.
Ask yourself questions (in your head) about what the person is saying.
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Dr. Tulsi’s Answer

Active listening is all about connecting with the speaker on a human level, showing genuine interest, and creating a supportive environment for open communication.

Everyone understands and comprehends information differently but here are 10 tips to keep in mind to help ensure you are actively listening to a person:

1. Give your full attention :
When someone is speaking to you, make a conscious effort to focus solely on them. Put away distractions like your phone or computer, and make eye contact to show you're attentive.

2. Show that you're listening:
Use verbal and non-verbal cues to indicate that you're engaged. Nodding your head, saying "yes" or "mm-hmm," and maintaining an open posture can encourage the speaker to continue sharing.

3. Avoid interrupting:
Allow the speaker to express themselves fully without interrupting them. Interrupting can disrupt their train of thought and make them feel like you're not valuing their perspective.

4. Paraphrase and summarize:
Periodically paraphrase or summarize what the speaker has said to ensure you're understanding correctly. This not only demonstrates your engagement but also helps clarify any points that may have been misunderstood.

5. Ask clarifying questions:
If something is unclear or you need more information, don't hesitate to ask questions. However, make sure your questions are focused on understanding the speaker's perspective rather than challenging them.

6. Empathize with the speaker:
Try to see things from the speaker's point of view and validate their emotions. Reflecting on what you believe they're feeling can help build trust and rapport.

7. Avoid judgment:
Suspend judgment and refrain from jumping to conclusions while listening. Everyone has their own unique experiences and perspectives, so it's essential to approach conversations with an open mind.

8. Provide feedback:
After the speaker has finished sharing, offer feedback or reflections on what they've said. This can involve sharing your own thoughts and feelings or simply acknowledging what they've shared.

9. Be patient:
Active listening sometimes requires patience, especially if the speaker struggles to articulate their thoughts or emotions. Avoid rushing them and give them the time they need to express themselves fully.

10. Practice mindfulness:
Being present in the moment and fully engaged with the speaker requires mindfulness. Practice techniques like deep breathing or meditation to cultivate mindfulness and enhance your listening skills over time.

By incorporating these steps into your interactions with others, you can gradually improve your active listening skills and foster better communication and understanding in your relationships.
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Jack’s Answer

Take an improv class. Active listening is a skill that can be taught, and in an improv class this is one of the most important.
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Tyria’s Answer

One of the best tips I've received regarding becoming a better listener is to first seek to understand and then to be understood. We have so many distractions and obstacles that can hinder us from truly understanding each other. Make sure that as a listener you are first in the proper headspace to listen. Ask yourself if you are emotionally, physically, and mentally prepared to listen to your conversation partner. Similar to baking a cake, taking a road trip, or studying for a test being prepared is key. Emotionally-ask if your feelings are a hinderance to your understanding currently, are you too emotionally invested/divested in the topic, or do you feel that maybe your partner needs some time to manage or understand their emotions in order to have a productive conversation? Physically-ask are we in a good environment to have this conversation, is this conversation being held through the best medium (i.e. Zoom Call, in person, via phone, email, etc), have I removed potential distractions that could hinder my listening abilities such as a cell phone, a bothersome coworker, or maybe even just an uncomfy chair that's distracting you as you sit and listen? Finally, mentally-ask is this a topic I can listen to without it being a detriment to my mental health? There is no shame in letting someone know that while you care about them and their struggles that you currently are not in the place to carry the mental weight of this discussion. We owe it to those we wish to help and most importantly ourselves to show up as our best selves, and dismissing our needs in order to "help" others is ultimately never helpful at all. Hope this helps!
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Mladen’s Answer

Hello Jeddy,

One of the most important things about being an active listener are focus and attention. This is the time when we let the other person express their thoughts and ideas, while we focus on what they are saying with full attention to them. Depends on the circumstances and surroundings, by having your focus and attention to the listener, you should not let be distracted by it.

Also, this is the time when we should not interrupt the speaker and once the speaker is finished talking, we can provide some additional information that we believe should be known. Maintaining eye contact shows the speaker that you are actively engaged and focused.

Hope I was able to help by providing my own explanation. Take Care.

Best,
Mladen
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Avirup’s Answer

Being an active listener means really trying to understand what the person in front of you is saying. It's putting yourself in their shoes and trying to figure out where they are coming from and what they really mean.
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