4 answers
Claire
Student
Berkeley, California
1
Question
Asked
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How can I change my dad's mind and also be a film director?
Hey I am really young (12) and to be brutally honest I am scared. I want to be a film director but my dad wants me to be a engineer or mathematician, even though I love math and try to support women in STEM, it is just not me. What should I do?
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4 answers
Brandon D. Hyde
Cinematographer
2
Answers
Plant City, Florida
Updated
Brandon D.’s Answer
Hi Claire,
I was in my early twenties when I decided to change my career path to becoming a cinematographer. Most of my family was none too happy about that. Then I started showing success. First by running a small company focusing on wedding films and then started working on commercial and narrative projects for low pay, but good results. The more I worked, the more they changed their tune about it. They saw what I was able to do. Fast forward 15 years and I’m now doing projects all around the world, supporting my family, and making really great money. Not one of them thinks I should “get a real job” anymore.
What I am saying is you have to have the belief in yourself, even if no one else does. You have to keep pushing for what YOU want. It’s hard to look a parent or mentor in the eye and say that, but if you really want something, even that won’t stop you.
You have to realize that your family only wants best for you. They may have different ideas about what that means, so you have to show them why this is the right path for you. It will take time. It will honestly suck sometimes. But looking back, I wouldn’t change what I did for the world.
I wish you the best of luck, because I’ve been there. And you deserve to be happy in what you do.
I was in my early twenties when I decided to change my career path to becoming a cinematographer. Most of my family was none too happy about that. Then I started showing success. First by running a small company focusing on wedding films and then started working on commercial and narrative projects for low pay, but good results. The more I worked, the more they changed their tune about it. They saw what I was able to do. Fast forward 15 years and I’m now doing projects all around the world, supporting my family, and making really great money. Not one of them thinks I should “get a real job” anymore.
What I am saying is you have to have the belief in yourself, even if no one else does. You have to keep pushing for what YOU want. It’s hard to look a parent or mentor in the eye and say that, but if you really want something, even that won’t stop you.
You have to realize that your family only wants best for you. They may have different ideas about what that means, so you have to show them why this is the right path for you. It will take time. It will honestly suck sometimes. But looking back, I wouldn’t change what I did for the world.
I wish you the best of luck, because I’ve been there. And you deserve to be happy in what you do.
Michelle M.
Actress
2522
Answers
Updated
Michelle’s Answer
Hello, Claire !
I am happy to know that you have found your career interest at such a young age ! That's awesome !
Well, you won't be able to change your father's mind about what he thinks about your career interest, but there are some things you can do. Sometimes people start warming up to an idea if they see evidence. You're going to have to start involving yourself with filmmaking (Directing) now. You can do this.
Use a video camera or your phone to start making films or TV shows. Look online for Bay Area International Children's Film Festival. They provide opportunities for participating in Workshops and Activities where you can make documentaries and have fun, hands on experience with filmmaking. If people start seeing you involved with this, maybe they'll take it seriously and no discussion or persuasive conversation is necessary. Just show, not tell. Maybe things will change on their own. You can even think about volunteering for the Festival.
FILMMAKING for ZOOMers ages 7-13 yrs is another opportunity in Berkeley for you. Check with UC Berkeley because they have a Cinematic Arts and Production Club at Berkeley and sometimes they have events for younger filmmakers like yourself. The Berkeley FILM Foundation has resources and possible information about events for your age group.
You can start reading about Cinematography from books and websites to get a basic understanding of the career an the craft. Reel Stories is a Film Camp for students your age. You will learn about film and make films there. So there are some active, hands on things you can begin doing that will help you and keep you active as well as introduce you to the career. Start doing volunteer work at a Film Studio in Berkeley. Hold on to your seat because there's a lot to choose from and they are Ciel Creative Space, 4th Street Studios, Apex Studio, Golden Gate Production Studios, Sintak Studio, The Producer's Loft Studio, Studio 1 at Peerspace, Studio 4 at Peerspace, Sawmill Studio, Digital Roots Studio, Polar Productions, and Imperial Video Productions. An in-person visit to offer volunteering at their studio would work the best.
Your best bet would be to leave it how it is with your father and get involved in film now at your school or in the community. If you start now, you will have a wonderful head start before going to film school or at University to Major in Film. You've got this - you can do it !
I am happy to know that you have found your career interest at such a young age ! That's awesome !
Well, you won't be able to change your father's mind about what he thinks about your career interest, but there are some things you can do. Sometimes people start warming up to an idea if they see evidence. You're going to have to start involving yourself with filmmaking (Directing) now. You can do this.
Use a video camera or your phone to start making films or TV shows. Look online for Bay Area International Children's Film Festival. They provide opportunities for participating in Workshops and Activities where you can make documentaries and have fun, hands on experience with filmmaking. If people start seeing you involved with this, maybe they'll take it seriously and no discussion or persuasive conversation is necessary. Just show, not tell. Maybe things will change on their own. You can even think about volunteering for the Festival.
FILMMAKING for ZOOMers ages 7-13 yrs is another opportunity in Berkeley for you. Check with UC Berkeley because they have a Cinematic Arts and Production Club at Berkeley and sometimes they have events for younger filmmakers like yourself. The Berkeley FILM Foundation has resources and possible information about events for your age group.
You can start reading about Cinematography from books and websites to get a basic understanding of the career an the craft. Reel Stories is a Film Camp for students your age. You will learn about film and make films there. So there are some active, hands on things you can begin doing that will help you and keep you active as well as introduce you to the career. Start doing volunteer work at a Film Studio in Berkeley. Hold on to your seat because there's a lot to choose from and they are Ciel Creative Space, 4th Street Studios, Apex Studio, Golden Gate Production Studios, Sintak Studio, The Producer's Loft Studio, Studio 1 at Peerspace, Studio 4 at Peerspace, Sawmill Studio, Digital Roots Studio, Polar Productions, and Imperial Video Productions. An in-person visit to offer volunteering at their studio would work the best.
Your best bet would be to leave it how it is with your father and get involved in film now at your school or in the community. If you start now, you will have a wonderful head start before going to film school or at University to Major in Film. You've got this - you can do it !
Hwal Lee
DMSc
247
Answers
Albany, New York
Updated
Hwal’s Answer
Claire,
At such a young age, you would have time to make your decision about what to do in the future. Your Dad must be interested in your future career choice (this is not always the case), since he clearly has his preference about what he would like for you to do. It's also good that you already have ideas about what you like and enjoy and have thought about what you want to do in the future. Some questions that came to me:
What are the reasons that your Dad wants you to be an engineer or mathematician? Have you told him that you want to pursue STEM instead?
I hope you give yourself the time and space to explore different possibilities, and find joy in having theose possibilities to choose from. I think you're off to a good start, Claire.
Hwal
At such a young age, you would have time to make your decision about what to do in the future. Your Dad must be interested in your future career choice (this is not always the case), since he clearly has his preference about what he would like for you to do. It's also good that you already have ideas about what you like and enjoy and have thought about what you want to do in the future. Some questions that came to me:
What are the reasons that your Dad wants you to be an engineer or mathematician? Have you told him that you want to pursue STEM instead?
I hope you give yourself the time and space to explore different possibilities, and find joy in having theose possibilities to choose from. I think you're off to a good start, Claire.
Hwal
Thank you for the advice.
Claire
Heather MacDonald
Principal Consultant
24
Answers
Salt Lake City, Utah
Updated
Heather’s Answer
Hi, Claire! As a recovering people pleaser I understand that it feels hard to think about a future that's outside of what your Dad wants for you. My guess as a parent myself is that he sees those options for you because they're reasonably stable and could pay well. You've definitely got time to work out what you want to do and how you'll get there and hopefully as your Dad see's your excitement he'll come along for the journey. At the end of the day remember that it is your life and you have to live it. As much as our parents may mean well you do get to choose what you do.
An idea for you now might be to explore all of your options. I'm in my 40s and know I'm not in my forever career. Not because I don't love it but because I know sometimes things change and we want or need something different. Take the time now to try new things, job shadow, talk to people in the fields you're interested in, listen to podcasts or watch videos that show a day-in-the-life for the jobs you're considering. As someone who has changed jobs, industries, and sectors you can always do something different if you find you don't love what you're doing.
The other thing is start getting comfortable understanding your own needs and values. Often parents suggest things like being an engineer, doctor, or lawyer because they do seem stable and well paying. For you, you might find you're less motivated by money and more motivated by the impact you have. Or perhaps you want to live a digital nomad lifestyle and travel the world vs having the security of an office job and constant pay check. One of the things thats helped me the most in my career is taking the time to understand what do I really need for myself. Not because someone tells me to, because society says we should, or for any other reason. What do I want.
For now, you might have to be ok not knowing what the future will hold and if your Dad will be disappointed but I'm hopeful that as you make choices and continue to grow he will be excited for you. Best of luck to you!
An idea for you now might be to explore all of your options. I'm in my 40s and know I'm not in my forever career. Not because I don't love it but because I know sometimes things change and we want or need something different. Take the time now to try new things, job shadow, talk to people in the fields you're interested in, listen to podcasts or watch videos that show a day-in-the-life for the jobs you're considering. As someone who has changed jobs, industries, and sectors you can always do something different if you find you don't love what you're doing.
The other thing is start getting comfortable understanding your own needs and values. Often parents suggest things like being an engineer, doctor, or lawyer because they do seem stable and well paying. For you, you might find you're less motivated by money and more motivated by the impact you have. Or perhaps you want to live a digital nomad lifestyle and travel the world vs having the security of an office job and constant pay check. One of the things thats helped me the most in my career is taking the time to understand what do I really need for myself. Not because someone tells me to, because society says we should, or for any other reason. What do I want.
For now, you might have to be ok not knowing what the future will hold and if your Dad will be disappointed but I'm hopeful that as you make choices and continue to grow he will be excited for you. Best of luck to you!
Thank you for taking the time to help.
Claire