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How do I find my community?
I have currently just enrolled in a large public university, and although I am excited to meet new people, I also want to find a group of friends that I can fully trust and count on. How do I navigate settings that have such a large group of people and diversity while still having a sense of a close-knit community?
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Josh’s Answer
Finding friends you can fully trust and count on is a long-tail effort. It won't happen in the first day or first few weeks. Provide yourself some patience to get there.
A key to this is meeting as many people as you can without putting you or others 'on the spot'.
A couple of tactical moves you can try:
1 - Go to class and sit in different seats each time. Before or after class, introduce yourself to the folks within two seats of you (left/ right/ in front of/ behind). Take note of who reciprocates with a vibe you like. As a follow-up question about they felt about today's class and provide something that you remembered. Make it a quick conversation. When you see them again in class, you are headed to a different seat but you'll still toss them a hello.
2 - Go to the student organization fairs. Visit as many as you can and that have some level of appeal to you, no matter if it aligns with your area of study or not. Just go meet other people. Similar to the classroom strategy, try to note the person you talked to from each org.
3 - Re-approach someone and ask to meet out for lunch on campus. It's a public setting and the duration can be cut off early if the conversation or experience takes a turn.
4 - Re-approach the organization you felt a connection with and attend a few meetings.
Through these efforts, you'll start to find a group or a cell of people that you are drawn towards. That will begin the development of friendships that will hopefully last your lifetime.
All the best!
A key to this is meeting as many people as you can without putting you or others 'on the spot'.
A couple of tactical moves you can try:
1 - Go to class and sit in different seats each time. Before or after class, introduce yourself to the folks within two seats of you (left/ right/ in front of/ behind). Take note of who reciprocates with a vibe you like. As a follow-up question about they felt about today's class and provide something that you remembered. Make it a quick conversation. When you see them again in class, you are headed to a different seat but you'll still toss them a hello.
2 - Go to the student organization fairs. Visit as many as you can and that have some level of appeal to you, no matter if it aligns with your area of study or not. Just go meet other people. Similar to the classroom strategy, try to note the person you talked to from each org.
3 - Re-approach someone and ask to meet out for lunch on campus. It's a public setting and the duration can be cut off early if the conversation or experience takes a turn.
4 - Re-approach the organization you felt a connection with and attend a few meetings.
Through these efforts, you'll start to find a group or a cell of people that you are drawn towards. That will begin the development of friendships that will hopefully last your lifetime.
All the best!
Karin P.
Lecturer, Academic Advisor, Career Coach, Mentor
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Karin’s Answer
Hi Olivia,
I studied in a very small program, so finding "my people" was easy. But even in a large university and a large program, you don't have to take on all those people at the same time. It's like a big city: you don't know all the people in New York, but you can know your next door neighbors, the people at the coffee shop at the corner and the people who go to the same school/library/gym etc.
There will most likely be some kind of orientation day or week for all the freshers. You'll all be new, confused, disoriented, have questions and need to look for new friends. Make contact. Ask questions.
Are you going to stay in res? The other students in your res, on your floor and a potential roommate are your next cohort. Make contact. Ask questions. Go to lunch or coffee with someone.
Your program might be large, but there will be smaller sessions (tutorials, seminars, labs...) where you meet other students. Maybe you share a lab bench, maybe you form a study group, maybe you can ask for lecture notes or for help with the homework problems. You'll find your people.
There are also clubs, sports programs and other events on campus. Join something you are interested in or try out some new activities. You'll meet people who are not in your program but share an interest.
Starting college is probably the best time in your life to make new friends because most everyone is new and just starting to figure out themselves and the life they want to have.
I hope this helps! All the best to you!
KP
I studied in a very small program, so finding "my people" was easy. But even in a large university and a large program, you don't have to take on all those people at the same time. It's like a big city: you don't know all the people in New York, but you can know your next door neighbors, the people at the coffee shop at the corner and the people who go to the same school/library/gym etc.
There will most likely be some kind of orientation day or week for all the freshers. You'll all be new, confused, disoriented, have questions and need to look for new friends. Make contact. Ask questions.
Are you going to stay in res? The other students in your res, on your floor and a potential roommate are your next cohort. Make contact. Ask questions. Go to lunch or coffee with someone.
Your program might be large, but there will be smaller sessions (tutorials, seminars, labs...) where you meet other students. Maybe you share a lab bench, maybe you form a study group, maybe you can ask for lecture notes or for help with the homework problems. You'll find your people.
There are also clubs, sports programs and other events on campus. Join something you are interested in or try out some new activities. You'll meet people who are not in your program but share an interest.
Starting college is probably the best time in your life to make new friends because most everyone is new and just starting to figure out themselves and the life they want to have.
I hope this helps! All the best to you!
KP