Self reflection is normal and can be helpful to the physician, but if excessive it can be destructive. Every physician need a support system to help them through such events, such as a mentor, a good friend, a colleague, or family.
The best part is that anesthesiology is super important preceeding any major surgeries. It is a skilled profession and sometimes often under appreciated.
The downside is getting Emergency calls and being available on call at odd hours and still be effective in the job.