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How does someone transition from High School to College, especially if you're someone who didn't posses basic life skills such as cooking, driving, etc. and is not independent?
I'm ashamed to admit it, but I don't know how to cook nor do I know how to drive. I also don't know how to be independent as I always relied on my family for help or guidance. Knowing I'll essentially be all on my own, sooner or later, I don't even know where to begin my journey to independence, especially since I'll be living in the dorms. I'm afraid of making the next big step into my life, but I do know I have to push through for my future. I will be an incoming student in the Fall 2025 term, attending UTEP, majoring in Computer Science, so any advice or help would be appreciated!
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Brittany’s Answer
Start small! Even those of us with a few decades under our belts still feel like we don't have it all figured out sometimes. That's the fun of life, there is always something to learn or ways to grow. Keep your eyes peeled for opportunities!
Why not ask your family if there is a task you can take over at home? Maybe it's learning to cook one meal a week. Maybe it's packing the lunches for siblings or parents who work. Maybe it's taking over the cleaning, or laundry, or feeding the pets. If you make mistakes, it's okay, your family is still there to support you. Once you commit to it though, you'll find yourself gaining confidence and becoming a pro at whatever that task is.
Once you feel somewhat comfortable (not perfect!) with that initial task, look for another. Maybe look outside the home this time. Can you volunteer a few Saturdays at your local library? Start dog walking in your neighborhood? Look for something low-stakes but that pushes you outside your comfort zone. Once again, you'll be amazed at how well you do once you gain some confidence!
Then rinse and repeat. Keep incrementally pushing your comfort zone outward, and look back over what you've accomplished before to stay motivated and encouraged!
Pick one new thing to start doing around the house and commit to it, even if it seems hard
Why not ask your family if there is a task you can take over at home? Maybe it's learning to cook one meal a week. Maybe it's packing the lunches for siblings or parents who work. Maybe it's taking over the cleaning, or laundry, or feeding the pets. If you make mistakes, it's okay, your family is still there to support you. Once you commit to it though, you'll find yourself gaining confidence and becoming a pro at whatever that task is.
Once you feel somewhat comfortable (not perfect!) with that initial task, look for another. Maybe look outside the home this time. Can you volunteer a few Saturdays at your local library? Start dog walking in your neighborhood? Look for something low-stakes but that pushes you outside your comfort zone. Once again, you'll be amazed at how well you do once you gain some confidence!
Then rinse and repeat. Keep incrementally pushing your comfort zone outward, and look back over what you've accomplished before to stay motivated and encouraged!
Brittany recommends the following next steps:
Updated
Jean Noel’s Answer
Hi - First: drop the shame immediately. What you're experiencing is extremely common. Thousands of incoming college students land on campus every single year without knowing how to cook, drive, do laundry, or navigate life solo. The fact that you are acknowledging this now—months before starting at UTEP—means you are already taking ownership of your future. That is the first real step toward independence.
Going to UTEP (University of Texas at El Paso) for Computer Science is a fantastic achievement. Here is a practical, step-by-step blueprint to build your independence before and during your first year.
1. Master the "Dorm Life" Basics (No Cooking Required)
Living in a dorm is actually the easiest environment for transitioning into independence because it provides a built-in safety net.
• Cooking: As a freshman in a dorm, you don't need to know how to cook full meals yet. Most dorm living relies on campus meal plans (UTEP's Pick 'N' Pay / Miner Meals), campus dining, and basic dorm-room prep.
o Start with microwave & kettle basics: Practice making oatmeal, scrambled eggs in a mug, microwave rice, canned soups, and pasta.
o Buy 3 essential tools: A microwave-safe bowl/plate, an electric kettle (if allowed in your dorm hall), and a mini-fridge.
o Simple assembly meal skills: Learn how to assemble healthy non-cooked meals (sandwiches, wraps, salads, yogurt bowls with fruit and nuts).
• Laundry:
o Practice at home now: Learn how to separate lights and darks, measure detergent, and set a washer/dryer.
o Pro-tip: Never leave your laundry unattended in campus laundry rooms—set a timer on your phone for 5 minutes before the cycle ends.
• Basic Housekeeping: Get used to making your bed, taking out your own trash daily, and keeping a shared bathroom/living space clean.
2. Navigating Without Driving
Not knowing how to drive might feel limiting, but UTEP and El Paso offer several ways to get around without a car:
• Sun Metro (El Paso Public Transit): El Paso’s bus system connects directly to UTEP. The Brio Rapid Transit line has direct stops near campus.
• Walkability on Campus: UTEP’s campus is self-contained. Your dorms, dining halls, CS department (Geological Sciences / Classroom Building / Engineering Building complex), and library are all within walking distance.
• Campus & Local Services: Use rideshare apps (Uber/Lyft) for occasional off-campus trips (grocery runs, doctor visits). For groceries, services like Instacart or Walmart Grocery Delivery straight to your dorm building will save you time and hassle.
• Learning to Drive Later: You don't have to learn to drive right now. Put it on your goal list for a winter or summer break when you can take a professional driving course or practice with family.
3. Building Independence Step-by-Step
Independence isn't something you wake up with overnight—it's a muscle you build through tiny, repeated actions.
summer BEFORE UTEP FALL TERM AT UTEP
┌─────────────────────────┐ ┌─────────────────────────┐
│ • Take over 1 chore │ │ • Establish routine │
│ • Schedule an appt │ ───► │ • Go to Office Hours │
│ • Practice laundry │ │ • Use campus resources │
└─────────────────────────┘ └─────────────────────────┘
Before You Arrive (Summer):
1. Take over administrative tasks: Call to schedule your own doctor/dentist appointments or handle your own UTEP paperwork/student portal tasks without asking family to do it for you.
2. Manage your own money: Set up a student checking account and debit card. Practice tracking a weekly budget for snack runs or personal spending.
3. Run your own schedule: Stop relying on family to wake you up or remind you of appointments. Use Google Calendar and phone alarms for everything.
Once You're on Campus:
1. UTEP Resources are your safety net: You are never truly alone. UTEP has dedicated staff to support you:
o Resident Assistants (RAs): Upperclassmen living in your dorm whose entire job is to help you adapt, solve roommate issues, and answer life questions.
o UTEP Counseling & Psychological Services (CAPS): Free support if anxiety or overwhelm gets heavy.
o UTEP Academic Advising & CS Tutoring: Use the Academic Revitalization Center and CS departmental tutoring early—don't wait until you're struggling.
2. Computer Science Tip: CS can be intense early on (learning programming logic, discrete math, data structures). Build a study group in your first few weeks. Having peers to debug code with makes campus life feel far less isolating.
Quick-Start Checklist
• [ ] This Week: Do one full load of your own laundry from start to finish.
• [ ] Next Week: Make 3 simple microwave or no-cook meals yourself.
• [ ] This Month: Handle one official UTEP enrollment/housing task completely on your own using the student portal.
• [ ] Before Fall: Download the Sun Metro app / transit maps for El Paso.
You don't need to have everything figured out by day one. College is literally designed to be the bridge where you learn how to become an independent adult. Give yourself grace, take it one small skill at a time, and get excited for your journey at UTEP!
Going to UTEP (University of Texas at El Paso) for Computer Science is a fantastic achievement. Here is a practical, step-by-step blueprint to build your independence before and during your first year.
1. Master the "Dorm Life" Basics (No Cooking Required)
Living in a dorm is actually the easiest environment for transitioning into independence because it provides a built-in safety net.
• Cooking: As a freshman in a dorm, you don't need to know how to cook full meals yet. Most dorm living relies on campus meal plans (UTEP's Pick 'N' Pay / Miner Meals), campus dining, and basic dorm-room prep.
o Start with microwave & kettle basics: Practice making oatmeal, scrambled eggs in a mug, microwave rice, canned soups, and pasta.
o Buy 3 essential tools: A microwave-safe bowl/plate, an electric kettle (if allowed in your dorm hall), and a mini-fridge.
o Simple assembly meal skills: Learn how to assemble healthy non-cooked meals (sandwiches, wraps, salads, yogurt bowls with fruit and nuts).
• Laundry:
o Practice at home now: Learn how to separate lights and darks, measure detergent, and set a washer/dryer.
o Pro-tip: Never leave your laundry unattended in campus laundry rooms—set a timer on your phone for 5 minutes before the cycle ends.
• Basic Housekeeping: Get used to making your bed, taking out your own trash daily, and keeping a shared bathroom/living space clean.
2. Navigating Without Driving
Not knowing how to drive might feel limiting, but UTEP and El Paso offer several ways to get around without a car:
• Sun Metro (El Paso Public Transit): El Paso’s bus system connects directly to UTEP. The Brio Rapid Transit line has direct stops near campus.
• Walkability on Campus: UTEP’s campus is self-contained. Your dorms, dining halls, CS department (Geological Sciences / Classroom Building / Engineering Building complex), and library are all within walking distance.
• Campus & Local Services: Use rideshare apps (Uber/Lyft) for occasional off-campus trips (grocery runs, doctor visits). For groceries, services like Instacart or Walmart Grocery Delivery straight to your dorm building will save you time and hassle.
• Learning to Drive Later: You don't have to learn to drive right now. Put it on your goal list for a winter or summer break when you can take a professional driving course or practice with family.
3. Building Independence Step-by-Step
Independence isn't something you wake up with overnight—it's a muscle you build through tiny, repeated actions.
summer BEFORE UTEP FALL TERM AT UTEP
┌─────────────────────────┐ ┌─────────────────────────┐
│ • Take over 1 chore │ │ • Establish routine │
│ • Schedule an appt │ ───► │ • Go to Office Hours │
│ • Practice laundry │ │ • Use campus resources │
└─────────────────────────┘ └─────────────────────────┘
Before You Arrive (Summer):
1. Take over administrative tasks: Call to schedule your own doctor/dentist appointments or handle your own UTEP paperwork/student portal tasks without asking family to do it for you.
2. Manage your own money: Set up a student checking account and debit card. Practice tracking a weekly budget for snack runs or personal spending.
3. Run your own schedule: Stop relying on family to wake you up or remind you of appointments. Use Google Calendar and phone alarms for everything.
Once You're on Campus:
1. UTEP Resources are your safety net: You are never truly alone. UTEP has dedicated staff to support you:
o Resident Assistants (RAs): Upperclassmen living in your dorm whose entire job is to help you adapt, solve roommate issues, and answer life questions.
o UTEP Counseling & Psychological Services (CAPS): Free support if anxiety or overwhelm gets heavy.
o UTEP Academic Advising & CS Tutoring: Use the Academic Revitalization Center and CS departmental tutoring early—don't wait until you're struggling.
2. Computer Science Tip: CS can be intense early on (learning programming logic, discrete math, data structures). Build a study group in your first few weeks. Having peers to debug code with makes campus life feel far less isolating.
Quick-Start Checklist
• [ ] This Week: Do one full load of your own laundry from start to finish.
• [ ] Next Week: Make 3 simple microwave or no-cook meals yourself.
• [ ] This Month: Handle one official UTEP enrollment/housing task completely on your own using the student portal.
• [ ] Before Fall: Download the Sun Metro app / transit maps for El Paso.
You don't need to have everything figured out by day one. College is literally designed to be the bridge where you learn how to become an independent adult. Give yourself grace, take it one small skill at a time, and get excited for your journey at UTEP!
Updated
Rhonda’s Answer
Remember, you don't need to learn everything at once. Just like growing from a baby to a young adult, learning is a gradual process. Living in a dorm is great because you'll be surrounded by other students who can share their experiences, whether they know more or less than you. Choose one thing to focus on, like doing laundry or frying an egg. Use resources like YouTube, ask a librarian for help, or reach out to friends or family who can teach you.
You've got this! This is an exciting chapter in your life, and soon you'll be making soufflés in perfectly clean clothes!
You've got this! This is an exciting chapter in your life, and soon you'll be making soufflés in perfectly clean clothes!