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Is it difficult to make friends in college when you are commuting?
For college, I am contemplating on if I want to dorm or save money and just commute from home. If commuting to my college classes everyday, what are some pros and cons between commuting and living on campus? Would I be missing out on the full college experience?
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8 answers
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Karin’s Answer
Hi Kenneth,
Pros of living at home and commuting:
You'll save money. If you are close with your family, you'll still have that supportive, familiar environment. It will be easier to stay in touch with friends from home.
Cons of living at home and commuting:
It will be more difficult to fully participate in the "college experience". An important part of college is to "grow up a bit" and adult, albeit in a protected environment.
Another part is to get out and meet people from all over the world and from all walks of life. There is so much social learning that happens outside of class. The first year in college is the time when everyone is new and looking for friends. You'll find "your people" and friends for life.
Depending on how long your commute would be you'll waste a lot of time on the road. You can't just get back to the dorm between lectures but have to find a place to study. Yes, there are libraries and computer labs, but it's much better to have your own space instead of lugging your stuff around all day.
There are events happening in the evening, maybe some labs are late, there are concerts or readings, and, yes, parties. If you still need to get home, the tendency will be to skip it.
It all depends on how long the commute would be, and if you could afford the extra cost for accommodation. Also, how much would the commute cost you? What is your financial situation? Are you also working?
Personally I would prefer to live on or close to campus, but if my parents were paying for college, I would feel obliged not to cause the extra expense. If I was working and saving for college, I might just not be able to afford an extra room. If you have a scholarship, that might not be an issue.
I hope this helps! Enjoy college, either way!
KP
Pros of living at home and commuting:
You'll save money. If you are close with your family, you'll still have that supportive, familiar environment. It will be easier to stay in touch with friends from home.
Cons of living at home and commuting:
It will be more difficult to fully participate in the "college experience". An important part of college is to "grow up a bit" and adult, albeit in a protected environment.
Another part is to get out and meet people from all over the world and from all walks of life. There is so much social learning that happens outside of class. The first year in college is the time when everyone is new and looking for friends. You'll find "your people" and friends for life.
Depending on how long your commute would be you'll waste a lot of time on the road. You can't just get back to the dorm between lectures but have to find a place to study. Yes, there are libraries and computer labs, but it's much better to have your own space instead of lugging your stuff around all day.
There are events happening in the evening, maybe some labs are late, there are concerts or readings, and, yes, parties. If you still need to get home, the tendency will be to skip it.
It all depends on how long the commute would be, and if you could afford the extra cost for accommodation. Also, how much would the commute cost you? What is your financial situation? Are you also working?
Personally I would prefer to live on or close to campus, but if my parents were paying for college, I would feel obliged not to cause the extra expense. If I was working and saving for college, I might just not be able to afford an extra room. If you have a scholarship, that might not be an issue.
I hope this helps! Enjoy college, either way!
KP
Thank you so much, Karin!
Kenneth
Updated
Michelle’s Answer
Hello, Kenneth !
This is a wonderful question and I think I can give you some advice about commuting between San Jose and Santa Cruz. You would be commuting 26 to 32 miles depending upon the two points you are traveling from or to. That's not too bad of a commute to attend a good school.
Commuting is great. You would remain in the comfort of your own home with all your belongings and the food you are used to. Dorm rooms are traditionally very small with two students sharing a room. Everything else is congregate usually - dining and bathrooms. Some contemporary colleges are being built with private rooms, however. Living in the dorm would also tag an extra expense to your tuition and fees. My advice is to commute.
I commuted for my four years in college and there was just one downside. There is a saying I saw in a professors' office one time which was so true: The hardest thing about getting a college education is finding a parking space. Yes, that was true back when I went, but some CSU and UC campuses have greatly increased their campus parking over the decades. Check to see if UCSC has. I was fully immersed in campus life so commuting has no bearing on having a full campus experience.
On days that you don't want to drive, you can take the local bus, although it's an hour ride but still, it's inexpensive and you can have time to read or study on the bus. If you lived in the dorm, you would have to drive back to San Jose anyway when you wanted to go back home for a short visit. I still say that your experience would be great with commuting. You may even find car pools on campus with other students who live in San Jose. Also check out CalTrain and light rail.
I had absolutely no problem meeting people and having friends by commuting while in college. If you are generally shy, stand-offish or not a people person, those would be factors in having difficulty in making friends, not whether or not you live in a dorm. You do sound like you want to make friends and you will. If you interact with fellow students in your major department and get a Work Study job, you will meet a lot of people. Attending events will also have you making new friends, too.
Something that would be helpful is to opt for Work Study when you apply for Financial Aid. You'll be able to remain on campus for your classes as well as work and that will cut down on travel time for you. After a while, you'll get used to the commute, sometimes driving and sometimes taking the bus.
I hope that this has helped and I wish you all the best !
This is a wonderful question and I think I can give you some advice about commuting between San Jose and Santa Cruz. You would be commuting 26 to 32 miles depending upon the two points you are traveling from or to. That's not too bad of a commute to attend a good school.
Commuting is great. You would remain in the comfort of your own home with all your belongings and the food you are used to. Dorm rooms are traditionally very small with two students sharing a room. Everything else is congregate usually - dining and bathrooms. Some contemporary colleges are being built with private rooms, however. Living in the dorm would also tag an extra expense to your tuition and fees. My advice is to commute.
I commuted for my four years in college and there was just one downside. There is a saying I saw in a professors' office one time which was so true: The hardest thing about getting a college education is finding a parking space. Yes, that was true back when I went, but some CSU and UC campuses have greatly increased their campus parking over the decades. Check to see if UCSC has. I was fully immersed in campus life so commuting has no bearing on having a full campus experience.
On days that you don't want to drive, you can take the local bus, although it's an hour ride but still, it's inexpensive and you can have time to read or study on the bus. If you lived in the dorm, you would have to drive back to San Jose anyway when you wanted to go back home for a short visit. I still say that your experience would be great with commuting. You may even find car pools on campus with other students who live in San Jose. Also check out CalTrain and light rail.
I had absolutely no problem meeting people and having friends by commuting while in college. If you are generally shy, stand-offish or not a people person, those would be factors in having difficulty in making friends, not whether or not you live in a dorm. You do sound like you want to make friends and you will. If you interact with fellow students in your major department and get a Work Study job, you will meet a lot of people. Attending events will also have you making new friends, too.
Something that would be helpful is to opt for Work Study when you apply for Financial Aid. You'll be able to remain on campus for your classes as well as work and that will cut down on travel time for you. After a while, you'll get used to the commute, sometimes driving and sometimes taking the bus.
I hope that this has helped and I wish you all the best !
Thank you, Michelle for the advice.
Kenneth
You are very welcome, Kenneth !
Michelle M.
Updated
Abiola’s Answer
No you can make friends, because you need college friends to enjoy team works where necessary
Thank you, Abiola!
Kenneth
Updated
Jerome’s Answer
If you join study groups, clubs and make an effort to participate with on campus activities, I think you can easily get the college experience. I stayed on campus for a year and while I loved the experience, I paid for it with loans and the amount of interest on those loans was staggering.
While the commute can be overwhelming, I think you can make it work.
While the commute can be overwhelming, I think you can make it work.
Thanks, can't wait to put this advice into action!
Kenneth
Updated
Kim’s Answer
Kenneth,
When I went to school, there were no dorms on campus. Friends and I looked at apartments, but, they were not cheap. So, we commuted. We had a carpool. It was 30 miles. We proofread each other's papers along the way. Downside of carpooling is you have to leave when the ride leaves, or, find another ride.
I got involved in a couple clubs, did some activities, including some off-campus events. I actually went home for dinner and returned some evenings, mostly for the library.
My option today would be to live at home, so long as I was not sharing a car with anyone. Skip the carpool. That would give me total freedom to come and go as I wanted.
What you do NOT want to do is live at home when there is an expectation that you will be home at a regular time and attend family dinners, or take your siblings to their after-school events. If living at home entails restrictions, I'd go for the dorm. And, you need to make sure you and your parents have the same expectations of how it will play out now, rather than wait for later. Now, it's common courtesy to keep your parents informed if you are going out, so they won't be worried about you - that's not the restrictions I'm talking about. But, if they will treat you like an adult, then stay home. Also, either at home or in a dorm, you will have chores. Help out. Do your own laundry, etc.
I once worked with a guy whose son lived in a local dorm. EVERY evening, he went to school, picked up his son, brought him home for dinner, and returned him to school. I would have been soooo embarrassed had this happened to me!
I hope this helps, good luck to you!
When I went to school, there were no dorms on campus. Friends and I looked at apartments, but, they were not cheap. So, we commuted. We had a carpool. It was 30 miles. We proofread each other's papers along the way. Downside of carpooling is you have to leave when the ride leaves, or, find another ride.
I got involved in a couple clubs, did some activities, including some off-campus events. I actually went home for dinner and returned some evenings, mostly for the library.
My option today would be to live at home, so long as I was not sharing a car with anyone. Skip the carpool. That would give me total freedom to come and go as I wanted.
What you do NOT want to do is live at home when there is an expectation that you will be home at a regular time and attend family dinners, or take your siblings to their after-school events. If living at home entails restrictions, I'd go for the dorm. And, you need to make sure you and your parents have the same expectations of how it will play out now, rather than wait for later. Now, it's common courtesy to keep your parents informed if you are going out, so they won't be worried about you - that's not the restrictions I'm talking about. But, if they will treat you like an adult, then stay home. Also, either at home or in a dorm, you will have chores. Help out. Do your own laundry, etc.
I once worked with a guy whose son lived in a local dorm. EVERY evening, he went to school, picked up his son, brought him home for dinner, and returned him to school. I would have been soooo embarrassed had this happened to me!
I hope this helps, good luck to you!
Thank you, Kim!
Kenneth
Nyair Washington
Case Manager and Therapist, previously a teacher
16
Answers
Updated
Nyair’s Answer
Hello, Kenneth!
As a recent graduate student who attended both a community college and University as a commuter, you will realistically miss out on some of the college experience. However, do not let this deter you if saving money is a more important factor than having the full experience. Only you know your situation fully, so I recommend identifying the factors that are most versus least important to you.
As some of the other great commenters have mentioned, commute time, a lack of dorm life experience, missing some events, and not having campus resources as close are potential cons. At times, I felt disconnected from campus culture. However, I also had to work full-time to pay my way. Consider whether you will have to maintain full or part-time employment!
Potential positives are saving money, not sharing space with strangers, controlling when you want to be on campus, and potentially having more family support.
Also, you can combat the lack of student life by joining organizations, attending student events, and hanging out in common areas (like commuter lounges or lunch halls) to find people you may want to connect with. They may tell you about some interesting student-led events on—and off—campus.
Whatever choice you make will be the right one for you!
As a recent graduate student who attended both a community college and University as a commuter, you will realistically miss out on some of the college experience. However, do not let this deter you if saving money is a more important factor than having the full experience. Only you know your situation fully, so I recommend identifying the factors that are most versus least important to you.
As some of the other great commenters have mentioned, commute time, a lack of dorm life experience, missing some events, and not having campus resources as close are potential cons. At times, I felt disconnected from campus culture. However, I also had to work full-time to pay my way. Consider whether you will have to maintain full or part-time employment!
Potential positives are saving money, not sharing space with strangers, controlling when you want to be on campus, and potentially having more family support.
Also, you can combat the lack of student life by joining organizations, attending student events, and hanging out in common areas (like commuter lounges or lunch halls) to find people you may want to connect with. They may tell you about some interesting student-led events on—and off—campus.
Whatever choice you make will be the right one for you!
This was super helpful, thank you!
Kenneth
Updated
Luz’s Answer
It shouldn't be an issue. You can join clubs, Make friendships within the classroom. Opportunities to make friendships come when you're assigned to group projects. When there are school activities, set time aside and participate. You can make friends at college events. It all depends on how much effort and time you invest.
Luz, thank you!
Kenneth
Updated
Benjamin’s Answer
There are college students that live on campus that may not find success making friends in college just because they don't put themselves out there. When you are on campus, try not to go home right away, study at the library, be involved in clubs that interest you, and even as simple as eat at school every now and then to meet new people. Use the time you have in class to introduce yourself to a new person and eventually you will meet someone you get along with. Once you find one or two people you jive with, maybe they live on campus and have a community that you can spend more time with. It will help you find belonging at school and once you are in your major specific courses it will help you even more academically.