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Brayden
Student
Whitesboro, Texas
1
Question
Asked
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Does it ever become worth it in the end?
Everyday is a new struggle. Each built with its own individual obstacles, challenges, and hardships. Does all of the struggle you face pan out after its all said and done?
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2 answers
Allison Nixon
Social Impact
8
Answers
Salt Lake City, Utah
Updated
Allison’s Answer
This is a question I'm sure most everyone wonders about at some point or many points in their life. My take is that whether it's worth it or not is not inherently correlated to your struggles and obstacles, but the choices you make in response to those challenges.
Not all challenges are inherently bad, even if they're difficult to endure and deal with. For instance, many points in my college experience were extremely difficult, disheartening, and challenging. But ultimately, I knew obtaining a degree was important to me and served larger goals I had. Pushing through that every day struggle was ultimately in the service of something I wanted. Even with that in mind, I sure tried to optimize, reduce friction, and right set my commitments, course load, work, sought out support systems, etc. Just because a challenge is good, doesn't mean we have to let it be harder for the sake of it.
Conversely, some challenges are certainly symptomatic of negative or bad things in our life. They signal that change or help is needed. Mental health challenges, sickness, abuse, violent environments, are all examples of challenges that we should certainly try to seek help and support with, and I would think in most cases try to offset their impacts on us (in healthy ways of course).
In both instances, the ultimate outcome has a lot more to do with our response and ensuing choices, than the challenge itself. I think when we do our best, we generally have a pattern of "worth it" in our lives. Not always. At the end of the day, we all will still make mistakes or invest time in things that end up being a waste in hindsight. But one thing not being worth it also doesn't mean our collective life or the sum of our experiences aren't worth it. The pursuit of life, mistakes and all, can still be worth it if we shape it in a way that works for us. It takes time, reflection, healthy habits, and usually good people, but it's certainly possible!
If it helps, here are some challenges I faced, and how it ended up being worth it.
-I bailed on my 2nd major 4 years into university and took an exploratory semester with mostly freshman. I felt like I'd wasted so much time and money and didn't know if it was worth it to keep going. In that exploratory semester, I found a major I loved, got connected to a campus center that I felt really passionate about, graduated 2.5 years later and got a job offer as a direct result of the campus center I got involved in. It was a huge challenge, but I'm in a career I love now and am SO grateful I didn't quit (or stick it out with engineering, it was so not for me)
-I was in an abusive relationship for a couple of years. Not a good time. Definitely not a time in my life when anything felt worth it. I finally got out. And several years down the road, I met someone, and believe it or not, somehow that previously relationship ended up being really informative and provided a ton of learnings that I built this new relationship on. I was crystal clear on what was important to me, and it was so easy to see when the time came. We're married now :)
-We experienced a couple of years of infertility. Anyone who experiences this knows it's a rough, lonely, and emotional journey. We finally had a baby, and 1) he's perfect and I can't imagine a world without him. 2) I'm so grateful for the added time my partner and I had just the two of us for extra travel, growth, and experiences. 3) I'm super grateful for how my career grew in that time as well.
All of this, in the moment, was inconceivably difficult. There were times where life was a chore and the future felt painfully uncertain. But I did my best to respond with the tools and skills I had in a way that felt in line with my values and goals. And things are working out. It was hard, but still feels like things are worth it.
Not all challenges are inherently bad, even if they're difficult to endure and deal with. For instance, many points in my college experience were extremely difficult, disheartening, and challenging. But ultimately, I knew obtaining a degree was important to me and served larger goals I had. Pushing through that every day struggle was ultimately in the service of something I wanted. Even with that in mind, I sure tried to optimize, reduce friction, and right set my commitments, course load, work, sought out support systems, etc. Just because a challenge is good, doesn't mean we have to let it be harder for the sake of it.
Conversely, some challenges are certainly symptomatic of negative or bad things in our life. They signal that change or help is needed. Mental health challenges, sickness, abuse, violent environments, are all examples of challenges that we should certainly try to seek help and support with, and I would think in most cases try to offset their impacts on us (in healthy ways of course).
In both instances, the ultimate outcome has a lot more to do with our response and ensuing choices, than the challenge itself. I think when we do our best, we generally have a pattern of "worth it" in our lives. Not always. At the end of the day, we all will still make mistakes or invest time in things that end up being a waste in hindsight. But one thing not being worth it also doesn't mean our collective life or the sum of our experiences aren't worth it. The pursuit of life, mistakes and all, can still be worth it if we shape it in a way that works for us. It takes time, reflection, healthy habits, and usually good people, but it's certainly possible!
If it helps, here are some challenges I faced, and how it ended up being worth it.
-I bailed on my 2nd major 4 years into university and took an exploratory semester with mostly freshman. I felt like I'd wasted so much time and money and didn't know if it was worth it to keep going. In that exploratory semester, I found a major I loved, got connected to a campus center that I felt really passionate about, graduated 2.5 years later and got a job offer as a direct result of the campus center I got involved in. It was a huge challenge, but I'm in a career I love now and am SO grateful I didn't quit (or stick it out with engineering, it was so not for me)
-I was in an abusive relationship for a couple of years. Not a good time. Definitely not a time in my life when anything felt worth it. I finally got out. And several years down the road, I met someone, and believe it or not, somehow that previously relationship ended up being really informative and provided a ton of learnings that I built this new relationship on. I was crystal clear on what was important to me, and it was so easy to see when the time came. We're married now :)
-We experienced a couple of years of infertility. Anyone who experiences this knows it's a rough, lonely, and emotional journey. We finally had a baby, and 1) he's perfect and I can't imagine a world without him. 2) I'm so grateful for the added time my partner and I had just the two of us for extra travel, growth, and experiences. 3) I'm super grateful for how my career grew in that time as well.
All of this, in the moment, was inconceivably difficult. There were times where life was a chore and the future felt painfully uncertain. But I did my best to respond with the tools and skills I had in a way that felt in line with my values and goals. And things are working out. It was hard, but still feels like things are worth it.
Megan McCoy
Career Coach
185
Answers
Lakeland, Florida
Updated
Megan’s Answer
Hi Brayden,
This is a very insightful and deep question. Whenever I feel myself asking this question, I remind myself that pain is temporary and makes me stronger. This, too, shall pass. There are times when it feels like it's never going to pass. Or it takes years to get to where I want to go. In the end, it is worth it.
It helps me find things that excite me to look forward to. To give myself goals to work towards and feel accomplished after the struggles. It also helps to surround yourself with people who support you, uplift you, make you happy, and ease the struggle.
You will have to figure out what helps you to look at the struggles in a new light. For me, it helps to go for a walk to clear my mind. Spend time with loved ones or my dogs. To do something creative that I enjoy. Try to find something to do each day that makes you happy and reduces stress.
One of my favorite movies, 'About Time' is a good movie to help answer this question. I would look into watching it!
"The struggles we face are not meant to break us, but to build us into better versions of ourselves."
This is a very insightful and deep question. Whenever I feel myself asking this question, I remind myself that pain is temporary and makes me stronger. This, too, shall pass. There are times when it feels like it's never going to pass. Or it takes years to get to where I want to go. In the end, it is worth it.
It helps me find things that excite me to look forward to. To give myself goals to work towards and feel accomplished after the struggles. It also helps to surround yourself with people who support you, uplift you, make you happy, and ease the struggle.
You will have to figure out what helps you to look at the struggles in a new light. For me, it helps to go for a walk to clear my mind. Spend time with loved ones or my dogs. To do something creative that I enjoy. Try to find something to do each day that makes you happy and reduces stress.
One of my favorite movies, 'About Time' is a good movie to help answer this question. I would look into watching it!
"The struggles we face are not meant to break us, but to build us into better versions of ourselves."