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How do I handle the fear of failure?
I am often scared to network, ask questions, making mistakes and over all putting myself out there due to the fear of failure or being rejected.
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2 answers
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Gail’s Answer
Hello! Let's chat about networking and asking questions. Asking questions is a powerful skill that often goes unnoticed. When you're networking or meeting new people, instead of talking about yourself, try asking them a question. If you're at an event, ask what they think about the speakers or the event itself. Inquire about their job and how they chose that path. People enjoy talking about themselves because it's a topic they know well. Being curious about others can help break the ice and show you care about them.
Once the conversation starts, you can slowly share a bit about yourself. Begin with simple things like where you study, your interests, or your family—whatever feels comfortable. If you're shy, start small. When you're out, try saying hello to a few people each day, like in a coffee shop line or an elevator. There's no need for a full conversation unless you want to.
Regarding mistakes, remember the saying, "Don't cry over spilled milk." What's done is done. It's more important to learn from mistakes than to avoid making them. Mistakes are part of learning. Think about when you learned to walk as a baby—you fell a lot but kept trying and learned each time. Mistakes are just choices, some better informed than others, but all are learning opportunities. No one is perfect, but you can handle challenges and grow from them. Embrace mistakes; they help you improve.
Once the conversation starts, you can slowly share a bit about yourself. Begin with simple things like where you study, your interests, or your family—whatever feels comfortable. If you're shy, start small. When you're out, try saying hello to a few people each day, like in a coffee shop line or an elevator. There's no need for a full conversation unless you want to.
Regarding mistakes, remember the saying, "Don't cry over spilled milk." What's done is done. It's more important to learn from mistakes than to avoid making them. Mistakes are part of learning. Think about when you learned to walk as a baby—you fell a lot but kept trying and learned each time. Mistakes are just choices, some better informed than others, but all are learning opportunities. No one is perfect, but you can handle challenges and grow from them. Embrace mistakes; they help you improve.
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Jewels’s Answer
I've definitely felt this way throughout my career, putting yourself out there is hard! I try to remember that most likely many people feel the same way I do and we're all in this awkward networking thing together.
Growing up, my dad always said to me "you never know what you can do until you try" and that's stuck with me throughout my life. With this mindset, I pushed myself to go to networking events even when I didn't feel like it and just did my best to engage. I echo Gail's advice on the specific questions you can ask to get the conversation going!
Getting over the fear of failure is an ongoing process but it's important to remember that no one started out perfect and we all make mistakes. I try to look at failures as learning opportunities. What went wrong? How can I be better prepared in the future? What can set me up for success next time? It feels good to "win" but you never grow as much as when you "fail".
Try to find a networking event related to your interests and sign up. When the time comes, don't think about it too much, just go. Keep the pressure low--just talk to one person if you can. See how it feels :) I hope it's not as scary as it seems!
Growing up, my dad always said to me "you never know what you can do until you try" and that's stuck with me throughout my life. With this mindset, I pushed myself to go to networking events even when I didn't feel like it and just did my best to engage. I echo Gail's advice on the specific questions you can ask to get the conversation going!
Getting over the fear of failure is an ongoing process but it's important to remember that no one started out perfect and we all make mistakes. I try to look at failures as learning opportunities. What went wrong? How can I be better prepared in the future? What can set me up for success next time? It feels good to "win" but you never grow as much as when you "fail".
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