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How can I be open to feedback—even when it’s not what I expected or wanted to hear?
How can I be open to feedback—even when it’s not what I expected or wanted to hear?
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4 answers
Marty Meyer
General Manager
91
Answers
Los Angeles, California
Updated
Marty’s Answer
Feedback is often hard to hear - especially if its negative. In some cases, the feedback will be due to a genuine interest in your skills and a desire to help you advance.
There are also time when feedback is just opinion- someone who wants to point out something that may not necessarily be in your best interest.
It's sometimes hard to differentiate between the two types of feedback. I suggest that you listen respectively, thank the person for their time and move on without dwelling too much. It's not easy - however it's a skill worth developing and will take you a long way.
There are also time when feedback is just opinion- someone who wants to point out something that may not necessarily be in your best interest.
It's sometimes hard to differentiate between the two types of feedback. I suggest that you listen respectively, thank the person for their time and move on without dwelling too much. It's not easy - however it's a skill worth developing and will take you a long way.
Suraayah Hunter
Independent Consultant
17
Answers
Atlanta, Georgia
Updated
Suraayah’s Answer
Hi, being open to feedback is one of the most important skills you can build, and it’s completely normal for the process to feel uncomfortable—especially when the message isn’t what you expected or hoped to hear. Openness doesn’t require agreement or a change in who you are. It simply asks you to listen, think it through, and take what’s useful.
A helpful way to stay grounded is recognizing that other people’s insights can introduce you to perspectives you haven’t encountered yet. Everyone has blind spots and limits in their experience because we’re all still learning and gaining exposure. When someone shares their thoughts, they’re offering you a chance to notice patterns or possibilities you might not have seen on your own.
Understanding your own reactions is another part of staying open. Feedback can feel surprising, personal, or uncomfortable, and that response is completely human. When something challenges how you see yourself or highlights something you didn’t realize, your mind reacts quickly. Sometimes the timing isn’t right, or the message touches an old experience, or it simply feels like someone is telling you what to do. None of those reactions mean the guidance is wrong—they simply reflect the moment. And often, the same idea makes more sense later, when life places you in a similar situation and you’re more ready to hear it.
A practical way to handle feedback is to pause before responding, separate the message from the emotion, and assume positive intent first. People usually share their perspective because they see potential in you and want to support your growth. You get to decide how much of it you use, and even one small piece can make a meaningful difference. A “growth folder” can help—a place to save advice that doesn’t fit right now but might be valuable later. Many of us have had moments where a message didn’t land at first, but years later, in a similar situation, that same guidance suddenly clicked. Lessons often return when we’re ready for them.
How you respond matters as well. A simple “Thank you for sharing that—I appreciate it” goes a long way. Gratitude can be expressed in whatever way feels natural: a quick message, a note, an email, or even a handwritten card if the situation calls for it. When the feedback is unsolicited, you can still thank the person for taking the time and let them know you’ll look at it when you’re able. That keeps the interaction respectful without committing you to anything immediately. If you choose to use their advice, following up later to let them know it helped shows maturity and respect. And even if you decide not to use it, acknowledging their effort strengthens the relationship and demonstrates professionalism.
Your values remain your anchor. Openness never requires you to compromise who you are. Staying open simply means listening with curiosity instead of defensiveness. You can take what helps, set aside what doesn’t, and keep moving forward. The ability to hear and consider new perspectives—even when you don’t use them right away—is a skill that will serve you throughout your career. Openness doesn’t weaken your confidence; it expands your awareness, strengthens your adaptability, and prepares you for the opportunities ahead.
Dr. Hunter
1. Pause before reacting so you can hear the message clearly.
2. Ask yourself which part of the feedback feels uncomfortable and why.
3. Separate the emotion from the information so you can evaluate it fairly.
4. Save feedback you’re not ready for in a “future folder” to revisit later.
5. Apply one small piece of helpful feedback and observe the results.
A helpful way to stay grounded is recognizing that other people’s insights can introduce you to perspectives you haven’t encountered yet. Everyone has blind spots and limits in their experience because we’re all still learning and gaining exposure. When someone shares their thoughts, they’re offering you a chance to notice patterns or possibilities you might not have seen on your own.
Understanding your own reactions is another part of staying open. Feedback can feel surprising, personal, or uncomfortable, and that response is completely human. When something challenges how you see yourself or highlights something you didn’t realize, your mind reacts quickly. Sometimes the timing isn’t right, or the message touches an old experience, or it simply feels like someone is telling you what to do. None of those reactions mean the guidance is wrong—they simply reflect the moment. And often, the same idea makes more sense later, when life places you in a similar situation and you’re more ready to hear it.
A practical way to handle feedback is to pause before responding, separate the message from the emotion, and assume positive intent first. People usually share their perspective because they see potential in you and want to support your growth. You get to decide how much of it you use, and even one small piece can make a meaningful difference. A “growth folder” can help—a place to save advice that doesn’t fit right now but might be valuable later. Many of us have had moments where a message didn’t land at first, but years later, in a similar situation, that same guidance suddenly clicked. Lessons often return when we’re ready for them.
How you respond matters as well. A simple “Thank you for sharing that—I appreciate it” goes a long way. Gratitude can be expressed in whatever way feels natural: a quick message, a note, an email, or even a handwritten card if the situation calls for it. When the feedback is unsolicited, you can still thank the person for taking the time and let them know you’ll look at it when you’re able. That keeps the interaction respectful without committing you to anything immediately. If you choose to use their advice, following up later to let them know it helped shows maturity and respect. And even if you decide not to use it, acknowledging their effort strengthens the relationship and demonstrates professionalism.
Your values remain your anchor. Openness never requires you to compromise who you are. Staying open simply means listening with curiosity instead of defensiveness. You can take what helps, set aside what doesn’t, and keep moving forward. The ability to hear and consider new perspectives—even when you don’t use them right away—is a skill that will serve you throughout your career. Openness doesn’t weaken your confidence; it expands your awareness, strengthens your adaptability, and prepares you for the opportunities ahead.
Dr. Hunter
Suraayah recommends the following next steps:
Stephen LaRussa
Senior Manager, Risk Management
6
Answers
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Updated
Stephen’s Answer
Hi there, great question! One thing I've learned is that feedback is often a gift, even when it's difficult to hear. The easiest feedback to accept is the kind we agree with, but the feedback that helps us grow is often the feedback that challenges us. When you receive feedback that isn't what you expected, try to listen with curiosity instead of immediately deciding whether you agree or disagree. Ask yourself, "What can I learn from this?" Even if only part of the feedback is useful, that part can help you improve.
The fact that you're asking this question says a lot about your willingness to grow. Being open to feedback isn't about being perfect, rather it is about being willing to learn and become better over time. Those are qualities that will serve you well in any career. Best of luck your journey!
The fact that you're asking this question says a lot about your willingness to grow. Being open to feedback isn't about being perfect, rather it is about being willing to learn and become better over time. Those are qualities that will serve you well in any career. Best of luck your journey!
Jezlea Ortega
Tech Architecture
36
Answers
New York, New York
Updated
Jezlea’s Answer
Hello! Remember, when someone gives you feedback, it's because they care and believe in your potential. Everyone gets feedback at some point, and it's not about being perfect. Just because someone points out an area to improve doesn't mean you don't have amazing strengths. We all have things we're great at and things we can work on. Use your weaknesses as a chance to grow and turn them into strengths.