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How do I help my mother from Suicide thoughts?

My mom was born in a rough household in the slums of East Africa, very poor. She grew up and had a tough childhood, tough teenage-hood and now she's 51 years old and still, life is tough. There's been wonderful moments in her life, but there have been more unfortunate events that have happened to her that when she looks back at her life, the bad events are more powerful and affect her more than the good events. We moved to America in 2009 but our closest family that migrated here before us, have separated themselves from us. Now I am a 19 year old full time college student and I have a part time job. Today I was working and she texted me while she was at her workplace, and asked me to lend her the few dollars that I have so she could pay for the apartment rent. It's safe to say that we are not the wealthiest family. After that text, she later texted me of how much of a bad mother she has been and how she's giving up with life. She was just on edge and texted that she's tired of crying every night and is considering suicide. Then she texted "goodbye". I have never been in an excruciating pain and none of our family friends can listen to us. What should I do to help my mother? Apart from her, I have two brothers. But still, I don't want to lose my mother. If there's anyone that knows my mother very well, and what she has been through, it's me. How do I help her? #suicide-prevention #suicide #mother #help

Thank you comment icon I definitely suggested her to the ideas that all the people who reached out to me recommended and we found a solution. We talked it out and I got to help her. We are Christians and my mom has been a hardcore Jesus believer and I used God and references of the Bible to bring her back from her sorrows. It definitely worked and she is stronger than ever today and I’m not saying this to not worry you but I’m saying this because it really is true. I pray that suicide should never come into our minds anymore, this was definitely an awakening for all of us in our household. It was an awakening to fight harder everyday. Karen
Thank you comment icon Thank you all, my mother is doing much better these days and she is back to her cheerful and smiling self once again. Thank you to all the support! :) Karen

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Kim’s Answer

Karen,

The Nat'l Suicide prevention hotline has support services for friends and family. PLEASE reach out to them.
https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/help-someone-else/

Suicidal tendencies is part of a mental illness problem. Some people come through difficult times without help, while others don't. This is not something you should be handling by yourself. It requires trained professionals, and often, medication and counseling. It is NOT something you should be dealing with alone. PLEASE contact them now.

You can also reach out to the Pflugerville PD 512-990-6700 or 911, for help. The police can do a 72-hour emergency detention, where they will put your mother in a psychiatric evaluation facility for up to 72 hours. By the time the 72 hours is up, they have to either decide to release her or decide she needs more help and get authorization to keep her longer. You have the text messages. Give them to the police!

I used to be a police officer in San Antonio, and we frequently got these calls. The best thing you can do for her now is to get someone else involved. Also, please find a counselor at school to talk to. You do not need to be dealing with all of this by yourself. People care!!

Kim


Thank you comment icon Hey, thanks for upvoting my answer! Feel free to reach out any time. . . !!! Kim Igleheart
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Lindsey’s Answer

Hi Karen,
I am so sorry to hear you're going through a tough time. I just reached out via email as well so please check your inbox and get back to me when you can.

Here are a couple resources I recommend you look into immediately:
https://www.facebook.com/safety/wellbeing/suicideprevention/forafriend
https://www.facebook.com/safety/wellbeing/suicideprevention/resources

In college I went through a pretty tough time with some personal stuff (as so many of us do!!) so I visited my school's counseling center. They were really helpful. I went in once or twice a week to speak with someone about what was going on and eventually I didn't need it anymore. I would encourage you to visit your health center to check out the services they offer. Schools generally offer counseling for free as well.

I agree with Kim's comments above. The sooner you can seek help for your mom the better. As I said in my note via email, we're thinking of you and here to support you.

-Lindsey
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Jordan’s Answer, CareerVillage.org Team

Hey Karen,

So sorry to hear about this. It must be really tough to navigate through this and I want to let you know that I am praying for you, your mom and both of your well-beings in all of it.

I totally agree and affirm with what Kim and Lindsey said.
They provided GREAT resources that would be truly helpful.

I think that the best thing for you to do is to be there for your mom as much as you can. I understand that you are a student and you also work. Those things are important. But I would just try my best to intentionally make space to be with your mom and support her in any opportunity you get outside of work and school.

One thing I have learned with anyone who battles depression is that the FIRST step they take when falling into it is they absolutely believe they are alone. They believe no one understands. And that is true, probably no one can understand. It is hard for us to 100% be able to be in someone else's shoes. We experience things differently because we are hardwired uniquely. Therefore, spending time with her will help you gain a better perspective of what she's going through and you will find more answers and ways to mitigate her battle in this. You will find the weapons to shun the darkness that lurks (e.g. you can prevent her from thinking negative thoughts if you learn what exactly triggers them - then get into a practice of how to remove the triggers from her everyday life).
As her daughter, she is reminded of the life she lives because she brought you into the world! And she loves you so simply your voice/presence would help!

In light of that, some quick next steps that could be helpful would be just trying to change up the environment of her home. Maybe buy some flowers for the house or have the windows open, play some good music, etc. anything that could increase positivity into the atmosphere of her living space.

I hope this helps. Please continue to reach out to us!

Best,
Jordan
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