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How can I close the gap and build confidence in college and professional spaces?
I moved to the US. a few years ago and have been figuring out school, work, and life here mostly on my own. I’m currently studying business and working in a non-profit organization while also helping support my family.
Even though I’ve worked hard to get here, I still feel behind compared to others who grew up understanding the system. I want to learn how to catch up, feel more confident, and make better decisions about my future.
#Spring26
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Updated
Roopa’s Answer
Hello! I understand where you're coming from, even though I'm not a student myself. Remember, what helped you reach this point might not be enough for the next step. There might be a gap to fill, but you can do it! You're smart, and that's brought you this far. Find what you love and explore opportunities in that area. When you're passionate about something and give it your all, you'll definitely succeed!
Updated
Liam’s Answer
The only thing it sounds like you are missing is the networking.
I am going to be 1000% truthful with you (and I had this conversation with someone who became a citizen last year just recently) the people here don't know how the system works either. Our culture is very much based on "fake it 'till you make it". Our culture right now is based on how glamorous an instagram photo is and how they can promote it. Are they making money doing it? Sure, sometimes, but is that some sort of long term stability that is carrying money into their family for generations to come? Nope! Not even close. I know people who live in houses that are three times bigger than mine and they have loans out they can barely afford. I know people who max credit cards out at the clubs because they want to look like a big spender. I know people who gamble away everything they have just at a chance to make some money back while doing it. The United States is a different sort of place, you can really make something for and of yourself here unlike in other countries. Most of the people here just don't.
I am going to try to give you a push in the right direction so you can start to feel like you are being productive the way you intend to in this question.
Get out frequently and start to meet people in the environment you wish to grow in. Go to art shows, political meetups, charity fundraisers, volunteering events, community events, concerts (smaller concerts are better than bigger ones btw), and anywhere you feel that you can mesh with people that will help you grow in that space. Be aware, there will be people in all of these places that are faking their way and they may use you in order to boost themselves. Be smart, be yourself, and walk away from "opportunities" that seem toxic or too good to be true.
Hang out with people that are not like your demographic. Get a diverse group of friends that are kind and unique. Start to find time to see them and hang out with them so you can get comfortable with different people. This country was not made by one type of person and there are indicators of this everywhere. Start to make your history for yourself here with people that can explain themselves and the communities they came from. I have friends that have grown up in shelters, I have friends that have grown up in mansions. I have friends born on every continent (except Australia now that I think of it) and came for all sorts of different reasons. They all have unique perspective on the world and all strive to be their best selves no matter where they live.
Understand money. The United States is a scam. You will make money, but in the meantime you will spend money all the time. Live modest until you hit the mark you make for yourself. Get nice clothes, just don't get expensive clothes. Get a car that works, not one that will get you attention. Don't eat out often, make your own food. Keep in good health, its better to spend $50/mo on the gym than chase medical bills, its better to run on your street for the cost of shoes than it is to pay for a $50/mo gym membership you don't use.
Get political. I in no way mean join one of the two large political parties and follow their lead. I mean get an understanding of politics, understand where you are in that mix, figure out where your heart is, and figure out how to help the people around you. Be aware of what is happening politically and how that will affect everything around you. Get involved in grass roots movements and local politics. Be vocal about what you feel and be calm and articulate with your opinions so you can persuade people not ridicule them. Do not let social media or news outlets shape your morals and opinions of what is happening in the world. If you are aware of your money and morals you should have more than enough ability to come up with your own political awareness!
Figure out who you are. Represent yourself as an individual, as an American, as the culture you came from. Be bold with who you are and don't be afraid to express yourself. The one reason Americans act and seem the way they do is because of the first amendment in the Bill of Rights. We all have opinions, quirks, ideas, wants, reactions, gossip, and open feelings. We express this. Often, if you haven't noticed. Don't be afraid to as well! I may sound brash in this entire post but I want to get across that you don't need to be quiet and wait for things to happen. I assume that you are a delightful human and will say some of the greatest things I will ever hear, but you need to say them! There are enough people in this country (me included) who talk just to talk. Use your voice for purpose and you will gain respect! Someone else might completely disagree with me on all of this and I WELCOME them to say it because either way they are using their first amendment rights as well! Don't feel afraid to exercise all of your rights spelled out in the Bill of Rights as well.
What you are witnessing right now is a lot of people with entitlement. People think because they are part of a race, culture, religion, socioeconomic demographic, age, or gender they are entitled to some sort of special treatment. The opposite, I know people who feel disenfranchised for the same reason and don't try to challenge where they are. Labeling someone based on these points is just dividing us as people. I know that there is a lot of race/ gender/ religion talk you hear out in the open but you need to reach past that. Know people for who they are. Likewise, if you are talking to someone and all they can do is identify someone by race/ gender/ religion, start to question if they understand people and they are a person that is actually going to help you. This is the United States, we all come from a different state, sometimes that defines us, sometimes it doesn't, but we all need to remember we are all in this together and we all need to help each other. Be a part of that and turn off the noise.
Your best life here will be directly dependent on your community, your economic stability, and your ability to express yourself. This is the basis of "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness". I think everyone on the planet deserves this, I DEMAND everyone in the United States lives it!
https://www.archives.gov/founding-docs/bill-of-rights-transcript
https://www.khanacademy.org/college-careers-more/financial-literacy
https://www.youtube.com/live/ug56Kw7f6Wo, https://www.youtube.com/live/mdfA1q_-JdQ, https://www.youtube.com/live/rsKYXfDm8Zc
The United States excels at three things right now: business, entertainment, and military. Learn some history about them to understand culture better.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Legal_advocacy_organizations_in_the_United_States
I am going to be 1000% truthful with you (and I had this conversation with someone who became a citizen last year just recently) the people here don't know how the system works either. Our culture is very much based on "fake it 'till you make it". Our culture right now is based on how glamorous an instagram photo is and how they can promote it. Are they making money doing it? Sure, sometimes, but is that some sort of long term stability that is carrying money into their family for generations to come? Nope! Not even close. I know people who live in houses that are three times bigger than mine and they have loans out they can barely afford. I know people who max credit cards out at the clubs because they want to look like a big spender. I know people who gamble away everything they have just at a chance to make some money back while doing it. The United States is a different sort of place, you can really make something for and of yourself here unlike in other countries. Most of the people here just don't.
I am going to try to give you a push in the right direction so you can start to feel like you are being productive the way you intend to in this question.
Get out frequently and start to meet people in the environment you wish to grow in. Go to art shows, political meetups, charity fundraisers, volunteering events, community events, concerts (smaller concerts are better than bigger ones btw), and anywhere you feel that you can mesh with people that will help you grow in that space. Be aware, there will be people in all of these places that are faking their way and they may use you in order to boost themselves. Be smart, be yourself, and walk away from "opportunities" that seem toxic or too good to be true.
Hang out with people that are not like your demographic. Get a diverse group of friends that are kind and unique. Start to find time to see them and hang out with them so you can get comfortable with different people. This country was not made by one type of person and there are indicators of this everywhere. Start to make your history for yourself here with people that can explain themselves and the communities they came from. I have friends that have grown up in shelters, I have friends that have grown up in mansions. I have friends born on every continent (except Australia now that I think of it) and came for all sorts of different reasons. They all have unique perspective on the world and all strive to be their best selves no matter where they live.
Understand money. The United States is a scam. You will make money, but in the meantime you will spend money all the time. Live modest until you hit the mark you make for yourself. Get nice clothes, just don't get expensive clothes. Get a car that works, not one that will get you attention. Don't eat out often, make your own food. Keep in good health, its better to spend $50/mo on the gym than chase medical bills, its better to run on your street for the cost of shoes than it is to pay for a $50/mo gym membership you don't use.
Get political. I in no way mean join one of the two large political parties and follow their lead. I mean get an understanding of politics, understand where you are in that mix, figure out where your heart is, and figure out how to help the people around you. Be aware of what is happening politically and how that will affect everything around you. Get involved in grass roots movements and local politics. Be vocal about what you feel and be calm and articulate with your opinions so you can persuade people not ridicule them. Do not let social media or news outlets shape your morals and opinions of what is happening in the world. If you are aware of your money and morals you should have more than enough ability to come up with your own political awareness!
Figure out who you are. Represent yourself as an individual, as an American, as the culture you came from. Be bold with who you are and don't be afraid to express yourself. The one reason Americans act and seem the way they do is because of the first amendment in the Bill of Rights. We all have opinions, quirks, ideas, wants, reactions, gossip, and open feelings. We express this. Often, if you haven't noticed. Don't be afraid to as well! I may sound brash in this entire post but I want to get across that you don't need to be quiet and wait for things to happen. I assume that you are a delightful human and will say some of the greatest things I will ever hear, but you need to say them! There are enough people in this country (me included) who talk just to talk. Use your voice for purpose and you will gain respect! Someone else might completely disagree with me on all of this and I WELCOME them to say it because either way they are using their first amendment rights as well! Don't feel afraid to exercise all of your rights spelled out in the Bill of Rights as well.
What you are witnessing right now is a lot of people with entitlement. People think because they are part of a race, culture, religion, socioeconomic demographic, age, or gender they are entitled to some sort of special treatment. The opposite, I know people who feel disenfranchised for the same reason and don't try to challenge where they are. Labeling someone based on these points is just dividing us as people. I know that there is a lot of race/ gender/ religion talk you hear out in the open but you need to reach past that. Know people for who they are. Likewise, if you are talking to someone and all they can do is identify someone by race/ gender/ religion, start to question if they understand people and they are a person that is actually going to help you. This is the United States, we all come from a different state, sometimes that defines us, sometimes it doesn't, but we all need to remember we are all in this together and we all need to help each other. Be a part of that and turn off the noise.
Your best life here will be directly dependent on your community, your economic stability, and your ability to express yourself. This is the basis of "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness". I think everyone on the planet deserves this, I DEMAND everyone in the United States lives it!
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