8 answers
hehe
Student
Singapore
18
Questions
Asked
2324 views
what is the best ways to find business mentors? esp those who are in a financial position that I aspire to be at
I am an absolute wreck when it comes to showing up in networking events. I often times do not know enough to be curious about the other person and how he/she is doing, and ask questions that will lead the attention back to my agenda of seeking someone established as a mentor.
How should I best cold approach someone in networking events that I meet at the first time? How can i be strategic about it F2F, or online when I'm going about LinkedIn? I feel that I am very blinded and without a plan, yet I know that stupid action beats perfect inaction.
8 answers
Gail Manley
I set strategy and support the Social Impact team
19
Answers
Cincinnati, Ohio
Updated
Gail’s Answer
I really like the advice you've gotten so far. Here's a little extra tip: try creating a simple introduction you can use with anyone. Some call it an elevator pitch. You can start with, "Hi, my name is... I'm a (student or your current job) with strengths in (your skills or major). I'm interested in (what you want to do, like finance)."
After that, ask them to tell you about themselves. Be curious and listen carefully, and you'll probably have a nice, easy conversation. If they share their story, you can ask what led them to their job, field, or company.
When it's time to wrap up, you can say, "Thanks for sharing, it was nice to meet you. If it's okay, I'd love to connect on LinkedIn."
After that, ask them to tell you about themselves. Be curious and listen carefully, and you'll probably have a nice, easy conversation. If they share their story, you can ask what led them to their job, field, or company.
When it's time to wrap up, you can say, "Thanks for sharing, it was nice to meet you. If it's okay, I'd love to connect on LinkedIn."
Jean Noel Sanchez
Developer/Data Analyst
169
Answers
New York, New York
Updated
Jean Noel’s Answer
Hi - Feeling like an "absolute wreck" at networking events is standard—mostly because traditional networking advice forces people into fake, self-serving interactions.
The biggest mistake you are making is **hunting for a mentor directly at a networking event**. Highly successful, wealthy people have strong boundary radars. The second they sense someone trying to steer a conversation toward *"How can you help me reach your financial level?"*, they withdraw.
Shift from **"hunting for a mentor"** to **"collecting interesting insights."**
---
## 1. The Real Strategy: Drop the "Mentor" Label
Never ask someone *"Will you be my mentor?"* It sounds like a huge time commitment with no payoff for them.
Instead, build a relationship around **specific execution**:
1. You ask for a **15-minute specific piece of advice**.
2. You **execute** on that advice.
3. You **follow up** to show them the result.
High performers love seeing someone actually take their advice and succeed. **Mentorship is earned through organic follow-ups, not requested upfront.**
---
## 2. In-Person (F2F): The Script for Networking Events
If you don't know enough about their specific field to ask expert questions, **ask about their operational decisions and mental frameworks instead.**
### The 3-Step Cold Approach Script
1. **The Low-Pressure Icebreaker:**
> *"Hi, I'm [Your Name]. I'm honestly a bit out of my element at these events, but I made a rule to introduce myself to three people tonight. What brought you here?"*
> *(Self-deprecating honesty breaks the tension immediately.)*
2. **The "Non-Expert" Strategic Curiosity Questions:**
When they explain what they do, you don't need industry knowledge. Pivot to business mechanics:
* *"What’s taking up 80% of your focus in the business right now?"*
* *"If you were starting from scratch in this market today, where would you focus your time?"*
* *"What's a lesson you had to learn the hard way while scaling?"*
3. **The Exit Strategy (Getting the Contact Info):**
When the conversation reaches a natural high point, **end it first.** Don't drag it out.
> *"I know you probably want to mingle, but I loved what you said about [X]. I’m working on a similar problem right now. Mind if Igrab your email/LinkedIn to send you a quick update once I test that out?"*
---
## 3. LinkedIn: Cold Outreach Playbook
Cold messaging wealthy/established people works well if you avoid long, vague messages.
### The 4-Part Cold DM Template
keep it under 75 words.
```text
Hi [Name],
I saw your recent post on [Specific Topic/Project] and really admired your approach to [Specific Detail].
I’m currently navigating [Short Problem: e.g., scaling my first service offer / evaluating market channels] and am testing out a few strategies.
If you have 5 minutes, I had one specific question: [Ask 1 clear, low-friction binary or short-answer question].
No worries if you're too busy to reply—appreciate your insights online either way!
Best,
[Your Name]
```
---
## 4. Where to Find Mentors Outside Traditional Events
Standard "General Networking Meetups" often attract other job seekers, pitchmen, or junior professionals. To find people at a financial level you aspire to, change the venue:
* **Formal Mentorship Programs:** Look up your local **SCORE** chapter (free, highly experienced retired/active executives) or **Small Business Development Centers (SBDC)**.
* **Paid Masterminds or Industry Associations:** Joining a specific, paid trade group or niche industry association automatically filters for established business owners.
* **Offer Value First:** If you have a skill (e.g., video editing, automation, copywriting, graphic design), offer to solve a tiny friction point for them for free before asking for their time.
---
## Summary Action Plan
1. **Stop looking for a mentor.** Look for **one answer to one problem.**
2. At events, ask about **mindset and lessons**, not technical jargon.
3. Get their contact, **execute their advice**, and email them 2 weeks later with the results. That is how a mentor finds *you*.
The biggest mistake you are making is **hunting for a mentor directly at a networking event**. Highly successful, wealthy people have strong boundary radars. The second they sense someone trying to steer a conversation toward *"How can you help me reach your financial level?"*, they withdraw.
Shift from **"hunting for a mentor"** to **"collecting interesting insights."**
---
## 1. The Real Strategy: Drop the "Mentor" Label
Never ask someone *"Will you be my mentor?"* It sounds like a huge time commitment with no payoff for them.
Instead, build a relationship around **specific execution**:
1. You ask for a **15-minute specific piece of advice**.
2. You **execute** on that advice.
3. You **follow up** to show them the result.
High performers love seeing someone actually take their advice and succeed. **Mentorship is earned through organic follow-ups, not requested upfront.**
---
## 2. In-Person (F2F): The Script for Networking Events
If you don't know enough about their specific field to ask expert questions, **ask about their operational decisions and mental frameworks instead.**
### The 3-Step Cold Approach Script
1. **The Low-Pressure Icebreaker:**
> *"Hi, I'm [Your Name]. I'm honestly a bit out of my element at these events, but I made a rule to introduce myself to three people tonight. What brought you here?"*
> *(Self-deprecating honesty breaks the tension immediately.)*
2. **The "Non-Expert" Strategic Curiosity Questions:**
When they explain what they do, you don't need industry knowledge. Pivot to business mechanics:
* *"What’s taking up 80% of your focus in the business right now?"*
* *"If you were starting from scratch in this market today, where would you focus your time?"*
* *"What's a lesson you had to learn the hard way while scaling?"*
3. **The Exit Strategy (Getting the Contact Info):**
When the conversation reaches a natural high point, **end it first.** Don't drag it out.
> *"I know you probably want to mingle, but I loved what you said about [X]. I’m working on a similar problem right now. Mind if Igrab your email/LinkedIn to send you a quick update once I test that out?"*
---
## 3. LinkedIn: Cold Outreach Playbook
Cold messaging wealthy/established people works well if you avoid long, vague messages.
### The 4-Part Cold DM Template
keep it under 75 words.
```text
Hi [Name],
I saw your recent post on [Specific Topic/Project] and really admired your approach to [Specific Detail].
I’m currently navigating [Short Problem: e.g., scaling my first service offer / evaluating market channels] and am testing out a few strategies.
If you have 5 minutes, I had one specific question: [Ask 1 clear, low-friction binary or short-answer question].
No worries if you're too busy to reply—appreciate your insights online either way!
Best,
[Your Name]
```
---
## 4. Where to Find Mentors Outside Traditional Events
Standard "General Networking Meetups" often attract other job seekers, pitchmen, or junior professionals. To find people at a financial level you aspire to, change the venue:
* **Formal Mentorship Programs:** Look up your local **SCORE** chapter (free, highly experienced retired/active executives) or **Small Business Development Centers (SBDC)**.
* **Paid Masterminds or Industry Associations:** Joining a specific, paid trade group or niche industry association automatically filters for established business owners.
* **Offer Value First:** If you have a skill (e.g., video editing, automation, copywriting, graphic design), offer to solve a tiny friction point for them for free before asking for their time.
---
## Summary Action Plan
1. **Stop looking for a mentor.** Look for **one answer to one problem.**
2. At events, ask about **mindset and lessons**, not technical jargon.
3. Get their contact, **execute their advice**, and email them 2 weeks later with the results. That is how a mentor finds *you*.
Harry Clapeck
Manufacturing
60
Answers
Scottsdale, Arizona
Updated
Harry’s Answer
Hi hehe. I understand your position very well. By nature, an accountant is an introvert. It describes us perfectly. I was one a long time ago, but over time we change.
That doesn't help you now, because you want to meet people now.
I suggest that you stop thinking inward and start to practice (in your mind) asking a few questions to others. What do you do in finance? When did you know you wanted to be in this career? Why did you choose this particular area of finance? What were some obstacles that you had to overcome? Did you have any mentors? You might need to talk to several professionals before you decide on someone who you want to mentor you. This is your career; you don't need to decide on the first person whom you talk to.
You will find that with practice and over time, it will become easier and easier. And you are correct, stupid action (what you feel) isn't stupid to others. Why are you at a network? To meet others and get to know them! That is the same reason others are there. You both have the same objectives. Nothing wrong with that.
Jump in and swim! It does get easier wit time.
Good luck hehe.
Harry
That doesn't help you now, because you want to meet people now.
I suggest that you stop thinking inward and start to practice (in your mind) asking a few questions to others. What do you do in finance? When did you know you wanted to be in this career? Why did you choose this particular area of finance? What were some obstacles that you had to overcome? Did you have any mentors? You might need to talk to several professionals before you decide on someone who you want to mentor you. This is your career; you don't need to decide on the first person whom you talk to.
You will find that with practice and over time, it will become easier and easier. And you are correct, stupid action (what you feel) isn't stupid to others. Why are you at a network? To meet others and get to know them! That is the same reason others are there. You both have the same objectives. Nothing wrong with that.
Jump in and swim! It does get easier wit time.
Good luck hehe.
Harry
Swapna Chandran
ITES
16
Answers
Coimbatore, Tamil Nadu, India
Updated
Swapna’s Answer
You have received some great feedback from others. Here's my take: A good mentor relationship often grows naturally over time. My main advice is to focus on building real connections and learning from various sources, rather than just searching for a mentor. Don't stick only to finance experts; you can learn a lot about networking, careers and life from people in different fields. The best mentors are usually those who decide to support you after noticing your curiosity, consistency and dedication.
Samantha Metcalf
Sales
11
Answers
Needham, Massachusetts
Updated
Samantha’s Answer
Hi! This is a very normal feeling and it sounds like you’re being proactive about it. At a networking event, I’d focus less on what you can say to impress someone and more on learning about them. You don’t need to know everything about their industry to be curious. Ask how they got to where they are, what decisions had the biggest impact on their career, or what they wish they knew when they were in your position. People generally enjoy talking about their own experiences, and it takes some of the pressure off you.
I’d take a similar approach on LinkedIn. Find people who are in positions you aspire to be in, but make your outreach specific. Instead of asking, “Will you mentor me?” you could say that you came across their background, are interested in following a similar path, and would love 15–20 minutes to hear about their experience and any advice they have.
I’d take a similar approach on LinkedIn. Find people who are in positions you aspire to be in, but make your outreach specific. Instead of asking, “Will you mentor me?” you could say that you came across their background, are interested in following a similar path, and would love 15–20 minutes to hear about their experience and any advice they have.
Vaishnavi Pise
Investment banking
3
Answers
San Diego, California
Updated
Vaishnavi’s Answer
Hi Hehe,
Thank you for asking this, it's such an important question and I'm glad you're thinking about it early.
At a networking event, don't worry too much about impressing anyone. Just be curious. Ask how they got to where they are, or what they wish they'd known when they were where you are now. People love talking about their own journey, and it takes the pressure off you.
You could even try a simple opening, "Hi, I'm... I'm interested in finance and would love to hear a bit about your path." Then just listen and let the conversation follow naturally.
On LinkedIn, be specific rather than general. Instead of asking someone to mentor you, ask for 15 minutes to hear about their experience. It's a smaller, easier yes for them.
If you're looking for a book that can act almost like a mentor on paper, one I'd genuinely recommend is Poor Charlie's Almanack, a collection of Charlie Munger's talks and thinking. It reads like sitting across from someone who's spent a lifetime in finance and investing, generous enough to hand you the frameworks he used to think and decide. It's the kind of book you keep coming back to, one you can carry with you as you grow into the position you're aiming for.
And lastly, take what feels right for you today, and leave the rest on the table. Some advice isn't meant to be used right away, it just waits quietly until you're ready.
I'm rooting for you.
Thank you for asking this, it's such an important question and I'm glad you're thinking about it early.
At a networking event, don't worry too much about impressing anyone. Just be curious. Ask how they got to where they are, or what they wish they'd known when they were where you are now. People love talking about their own journey, and it takes the pressure off you.
You could even try a simple opening, "Hi, I'm... I'm interested in finance and would love to hear a bit about your path." Then just listen and let the conversation follow naturally.
On LinkedIn, be specific rather than general. Instead of asking someone to mentor you, ask for 15 minutes to hear about their experience. It's a smaller, easier yes for them.
If you're looking for a book that can act almost like a mentor on paper, one I'd genuinely recommend is Poor Charlie's Almanack, a collection of Charlie Munger's talks and thinking. It reads like sitting across from someone who's spent a lifetime in finance and investing, generous enough to hand you the frameworks he used to think and decide. It's the kind of book you keep coming back to, one you can carry with you as you grow into the position you're aiming for.
And lastly, take what feels right for you today, and leave the rest on the table. Some advice isn't meant to be used right away, it just waits quietly until you're ready.
I'm rooting for you.
Aml Omar
Marketing & Business Development Consultant
26
Answers
Egypt
Updated
Aml’s Answer
The biggest shift I’d make is this: don’t go networking events looking for a mentor. Go looking for people you genuinely want to learn from and build relationships with.
Someone successful is unlikely to agree to “be my mentor” after a 5-minute conversation. But they may agree to a 20-minute coffee chat, answer one specific question, or stay in touch. Mentorship usually develops from repeated interactions.
1. Find the right people first
Don’t only look for people who are financially successful. Look for people who are 2–10 steps ahead of where you want to be and whose path is relevant to yours.
On LinkedIn, build a list of 20–30 people based on:
Industry
Role
Business stage
Skills you want to develop
Career path you want to understand
Then study their content, career history, interviews, podcasts, or businesses before approaching them.
You can also use ADPList, a platform where you can find mentors and book mentorship sessions based on their expertise and career background: https://app.adplist.org/
2. Stop trying to “bring the conversation back to your agenda”
Your agenda shouldn't be “I need a mentor.”
Your agenda should be:
“I want to understand how this person thinks, what they have learned, and whether there is a reason for us to stay connected.”
At a networking event, you don't need impressive questions. Simple curiosity is enough:
“What brought you to this event?”
“What are you working on these days?”
“How did you get into this industry?”
“What has been the biggest challenge at your current stage?”
If something genuinely interests you, go deeper instead of jumping to another question.
3. When you find someone relevant, be specific
Don't say:
“Can you be my mentor?”
Instead:
“I’ve been trying to understand how people successfully make the transition from X to Y. You’ve actually done that, so I’d love to hear how you approached it.”
That's a much easier request to say yes to.
At the end:
“I really enjoyed this conversation. Would you mind if I connected with you on LinkedIn? I’d love to keep following your work.”
Now you have a relationship rather than a cold mentorship request.
4. Online / LinkedIn
Don't send:
“Hi, I'm looking for a mentor. Can you mentor me?”
Instead, engage with their work first. Then send a short, personalized message:
“Hi Sarah, I came across your work in fintech and noticed that you moved from X into building Y. I’m currently exploring a similar path, and your transition caught my attention. I’d love to connect and learn from your perspective.”
If they respond positively, don't immediately ask for an hour of their time.
Start with a small, specific request:
“There’s one thing I’d particularly love your perspective on: how would you prioritize X vs. Y at this stage?”
Specific questions create much better conversations than “Can you give me career advice?”
5. Build a “mentor ladder”
You don't need one magical mentor.
Think:
Peers → Practitioners → Senior professionals → Advisors/Mentors
You might learn sales from one person, leadership from another, entrepreneurship from another, and finance from someone else.
Also remember: someone doesn't have to be rich to be valuable. A person who is only 3 years ahead of you may understand your current problems better than a CEO who is 25 years ahead.
6. Your networking system
Before every event:
Research 3 people → Prepare 2 questions each → Have 1 sentence about yourself → Talk to them → Connect afterward → Follow up with something specific from the conversation.
After the event, maintain the relationship.
For example, two weeks later:
“You mentioned that you were experimenting with X when we met at ___. I came across this and thought you might find it interesting. Hope it's going well.”
That's how you become memorable.
And one final thing: don't optimize for the number of mentors you collect. Optimize for the number of high-quality professional relationships you build.
The person who becomes your mentor may not be the person you approach asking for mentorship. They may simply be someone you consistently interact with, learn from, help when you can, and eventually develop a genuine professional relationship with.
“Stupid action beats perfect inaction” is right—but strategic action beats random action.
Someone successful is unlikely to agree to “be my mentor” after a 5-minute conversation. But they may agree to a 20-minute coffee chat, answer one specific question, or stay in touch. Mentorship usually develops from repeated interactions.
1. Find the right people first
Don’t only look for people who are financially successful. Look for people who are 2–10 steps ahead of where you want to be and whose path is relevant to yours.
On LinkedIn, build a list of 20–30 people based on:
Industry
Role
Business stage
Skills you want to develop
Career path you want to understand
Then study their content, career history, interviews, podcasts, or businesses before approaching them.
You can also use ADPList, a platform where you can find mentors and book mentorship sessions based on their expertise and career background: https://app.adplist.org/
2. Stop trying to “bring the conversation back to your agenda”
Your agenda shouldn't be “I need a mentor.”
Your agenda should be:
“I want to understand how this person thinks, what they have learned, and whether there is a reason for us to stay connected.”
At a networking event, you don't need impressive questions. Simple curiosity is enough:
“What brought you to this event?”
“What are you working on these days?”
“How did you get into this industry?”
“What has been the biggest challenge at your current stage?”
If something genuinely interests you, go deeper instead of jumping to another question.
3. When you find someone relevant, be specific
Don't say:
“Can you be my mentor?”
Instead:
“I’ve been trying to understand how people successfully make the transition from X to Y. You’ve actually done that, so I’d love to hear how you approached it.”
That's a much easier request to say yes to.
At the end:
“I really enjoyed this conversation. Would you mind if I connected with you on LinkedIn? I’d love to keep following your work.”
Now you have a relationship rather than a cold mentorship request.
4. Online / LinkedIn
Don't send:
“Hi, I'm looking for a mentor. Can you mentor me?”
Instead, engage with their work first. Then send a short, personalized message:
“Hi Sarah, I came across your work in fintech and noticed that you moved from X into building Y. I’m currently exploring a similar path, and your transition caught my attention. I’d love to connect and learn from your perspective.”
If they respond positively, don't immediately ask for an hour of their time.
Start with a small, specific request:
“There’s one thing I’d particularly love your perspective on: how would you prioritize X vs. Y at this stage?”
Specific questions create much better conversations than “Can you give me career advice?”
5. Build a “mentor ladder”
You don't need one magical mentor.
Think:
Peers → Practitioners → Senior professionals → Advisors/Mentors
You might learn sales from one person, leadership from another, entrepreneurship from another, and finance from someone else.
Also remember: someone doesn't have to be rich to be valuable. A person who is only 3 years ahead of you may understand your current problems better than a CEO who is 25 years ahead.
6. Your networking system
Before every event:
Research 3 people → Prepare 2 questions each → Have 1 sentence about yourself → Talk to them → Connect afterward → Follow up with something specific from the conversation.
After the event, maintain the relationship.
For example, two weeks later:
“You mentioned that you were experimenting with X when we met at ___. I came across this and thought you might find it interesting. Hope it's going well.”
That's how you become memorable.
And one final thing: don't optimize for the number of mentors you collect. Optimize for the number of high-quality professional relationships you build.
The person who becomes your mentor may not be the person you approach asking for mentorship. They may simply be someone you consistently interact with, learn from, help when you can, and eventually develop a genuine professional relationship with.
“Stupid action beats perfect inaction” is right—but strategic action beats random action.
Bob Burton
Consultant
98
Answers
Austin, Texas
Updated
Bob’s Answer
First, your demeanor is important. How do you address the individual you wish to meet with? Make direct eye contact. Apply a firm hand shake. Stand up straight-do not slouch. Place the sticker with your name on it, on the right side of your chest. If it is on the left side and you are right handed, the person you are shaking hands with will not see your name plate as you turn to shake hands.
As an introvert who became the President and CEO of high tech firms, I learned to ask questions that made it difficult to answer with a yes or no.
You may plan your introduction, "Hi, my name is HeHe. I am currently (an honors student in finance at ----university). Or, I am currently working in finance in the ---- industry. As I meet with people, I am puzzled by some comments I have received as it relates to suggestions that with AI there are few career opportunities in many areas of finance. What are your thoughts on that?
Then you have a platform to learn with follow-up questions. From your experience, In what areas of finance would you suggest considering for the best career opportunities? Why is that? How might that change in the future? Do the executives in the company you work for, come with a finance background? Is there a formal company education department to help employees grow in their knowledge and skills?
The point in this exercise is to frame the discussion when you first meet someone. Require the person you are meeting with to have to respond to broad questions. Avoid asking questions that can be responded to with a yes or no response.
During the discussion, simply ask the person you just met to tell you something about their career and work. What makes it satisfying? If they can imagine a perfect career how would they describe it? How does the job interact with finance managers? Were they ever mentored? How did it workout for them? If they did not have a mentor, what characteristics would they look for in a mentor.
Practice your introduction in front of a mirror.
As an introvert who became the President and CEO of high tech firms, I learned to ask questions that made it difficult to answer with a yes or no.
You may plan your introduction, "Hi, my name is HeHe. I am currently (an honors student in finance at ----university). Or, I am currently working in finance in the ---- industry. As I meet with people, I am puzzled by some comments I have received as it relates to suggestions that with AI there are few career opportunities in many areas of finance. What are your thoughts on that?
Then you have a platform to learn with follow-up questions. From your experience, In what areas of finance would you suggest considering for the best career opportunities? Why is that? How might that change in the future? Do the executives in the company you work for, come with a finance background? Is there a formal company education department to help employees grow in their knowledge and skills?
The point in this exercise is to frame the discussion when you first meet someone. Require the person you are meeting with to have to respond to broad questions. Avoid asking questions that can be responded to with a yes or no response.
During the discussion, simply ask the person you just met to tell you something about their career and work. What makes it satisfying? If they can imagine a perfect career how would they describe it? How does the job interact with finance managers? Were they ever mentored? How did it workout for them? If they did not have a mentor, what characteristics would they look for in a mentor.
Bob recommends the following next steps:
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