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How do already graduated high school seniors get over the anxiety of applying to college and dealing with adulthood?
As of now I am a high school senior applying to college and the responsibilities that come with this new phase is terrifying me. How do y'all do with it?
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Jessica’s Answer
Hi Vianney! It's normal to feel a bit nervous about stepping into adulthood, but graduating high school shows you're ready for this new phase. Be proud of what you've accomplished! Remember, no one wakes up knowing everything, so asking for help is a smart move. Adulthood is just a series of learning experiences, much like childhood, but without the training wheels. That's why older people seem wiser—they've just had more time to learn, and you'll get there too!
It might feel like there's a lot to decide right now, but don't worry. Life happens at your own pace. Do you have a trusted adult, like a family member, teacher, or counselor, who can guide you? They can help you break tasks into small, manageable steps, read your essays, remind you of deadlines, and celebrate your wins. This can make everything feel less overwhelming and help you move forward.
You don't need to be fearless to apply to college. Just keep taking small steps. You're building skills, not proving anything, and it's okay to feel overwhelmed. Everyone does, but you're capable and not alone. Focus on what you can control, like your effort and attitude, rather than things you can't, like who else applies or what admission officers think.
College applications are just a step toward adulthood. They don't measure your worth; they're just forms to show you're ready for the next stage. Break down the process into small steps, and you'll handle it just fine!
Make a simple, non-scary plan by writing down the colleges you're considering and listing out their application requirements (i.e., essays, transcripts, letters, etc.). This turns the unknown into something visible and manageable.
Break each task into micro-steps. For example, when writing college application essays, brainstorm five potential topics to satisfy their themes, pick one, write a messy paragraph, then turn the paragraph into a rough draft with an edit. Ask someone to read it provide you feedback to polish it.
Set tiny, realistic time blocks to knock out your tasks. Try 20-30 minutes at a time.
Handle the logistics one at a time, like requesting the transcripts, then asking teachers for recommendation letters, then creating accounts for each application portal, filling out the easy info first (e.g., name, address, activities), and finishing the essays last.
Don't forget to create a "Done" list. Every time you finish a step, write it down, so you can see all you've accomplished at the end and see your progress instead of feeling stuck.
It might feel like there's a lot to decide right now, but don't worry. Life happens at your own pace. Do you have a trusted adult, like a family member, teacher, or counselor, who can guide you? They can help you break tasks into small, manageable steps, read your essays, remind you of deadlines, and celebrate your wins. This can make everything feel less overwhelming and help you move forward.
You don't need to be fearless to apply to college. Just keep taking small steps. You're building skills, not proving anything, and it's okay to feel overwhelmed. Everyone does, but you're capable and not alone. Focus on what you can control, like your effort and attitude, rather than things you can't, like who else applies or what admission officers think.
College applications are just a step toward adulthood. They don't measure your worth; they're just forms to show you're ready for the next stage. Break down the process into small steps, and you'll handle it just fine!
Jessica recommends the following next steps:
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Brad’s Answer
Hello Vianney,
I get that big changes can feel really scary. It's helpful to figure out exactly what about this new phase is making you anxious. Once you know, those fears often seem less daunting, like when you realized the shadows in your room were just your jacket.
You'll have new responsibilities, but if they feel overwhelming, think about starting at a community college. This way, you can stay at home and manage your course expenses better. If you're unsure about what to study, it gives you time to explore without piling up debt.
As you grow, take time to consider your options and make choices that are right for you, even if they're not the most exciting or popular. Keep things simple for as long as you can, because life will bring enough challenges on its own.
I get that big changes can feel really scary. It's helpful to figure out exactly what about this new phase is making you anxious. Once you know, those fears often seem less daunting, like when you realized the shadows in your room were just your jacket.
You'll have new responsibilities, but if they feel overwhelming, think about starting at a community college. This way, you can stay at home and manage your course expenses better. If you're unsure about what to study, it gives you time to explore without piling up debt.
As you grow, take time to consider your options and make choices that are right for you, even if they're not the most exciting or popular. Keep things simple for as long as you can, because life will bring enough challenges on its own.
Thomas O'Shea
Music Producer, Composer, Live Sound Engineer, Musician
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Thomas’s Answer
Those feeling are not only understandable- they're completely normal. Unfortunately, nothing that's worth it in life comes easy. So that means you'll run into road blocks, you'll do things out of your comfort zone, you'll push yourself, and you'll continually learn through it all. So the best way to approach that is to lean into the uncomfortable feeling. I'll give you an example from my experience. I started college in 2020- yeah. COVID. But despite COVID, I would leave my dorm room door open and would talk to the people passing by. I would also go out of my way to talk to and get to know the people in my classes- that was a little easier to do for me because despite covid, 85% of my classes were in person. Everyone is nervous going to college- the trick is to push past that and then I promise you'll find your people. There will be on campus event programming- go to as many as you can. This is another way I met a lot of people. Your campus will host shows, movie nights, game nights, concerts, and a lot of other types of events. It's almost impossible to not meet cool people at those things. My rule of thumb was this- if I have the time and it sounds safe, I will always say yes. Now that was a slippery slope because I would start to tell myself that I was free when I had homework still, but I can promise you that you won't remember the bad grade you got on a random exam. You'll remember the laughs, the experiences, and the times you took a chance. And those moments are beautiful.
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Rich’s Answer
Hi Vianney!
Congratulations on getting this far! First off pat yourself on your back for just being in this position! Now I’ll never forget my first afternoon at college, we all moved in, parents left and there we are, 50 guys sitting in the dorm hallway mostly nervous like you! I’ll tell you because we were all in the same boat, boundaries disappeared quickly everyone was social and friendly and off we went to dinner. It continued the whole first week!
By Thanksgiving everyone was disappointed to leave the floor! I’m still good friends with some of them 40 years later! You’re going to have the best time with no home responsibilities, parents approving or disapproving choices! But everyone will feel just like you!
Good luck! Take chances and have a meaningful 4 years!
Congratulations on getting this far! First off pat yourself on your back for just being in this position! Now I’ll never forget my first afternoon at college, we all moved in, parents left and there we are, 50 guys sitting in the dorm hallway mostly nervous like you! I’ll tell you because we were all in the same boat, boundaries disappeared quickly everyone was social and friendly and off we went to dinner. It continued the whole first week!
By Thanksgiving everyone was disappointed to leave the floor! I’m still good friends with some of them 40 years later! You’re going to have the best time with no home responsibilities, parents approving or disapproving choices! But everyone will feel just like you!
Good luck! Take chances and have a meaningful 4 years!
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Zarle’s Answer
Anxiety is something we all will encounter in our lives. It's inedible. We can use it to our advantage. We can try using it as energy and focus on the matter/situation than fear it. Look at anxiety as a signal of preparing you for the situation by asking yourself what it is that you’re fearing. Anxiety can show you that you care deeply about the outcome of the situation. Redirect your anxiety into small actionable steps towards what you are aiming to accomplish. Some steps that can help calm the anxiety to help you focus on the matter/situation.
1. Ask yourself why you are feeling anxiety.
2. Take a walk or do whatever calms you down.
3. Breathe
Anxiety doesn’t mean weakness, it can be used as strength for energy, focus and motivation for endless opportunities.
1. Ask yourself why you are feeling anxiety.
2. Take a walk or do whatever calms you down.
3. Breathe
Anxiety doesn’t mean weakness, it can be used as strength for energy, focus and motivation for endless opportunities.
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Roel’s Answer
Go for it and face it directly! Before you start, make a solid plan. Talk with your parents and trusted advisors to create a good weekly schedule. With some trial and error, you'll find the best path to success.
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Shelley’s Answer
Hi Vianney,
Feeling anxious about choosing a college and stepping into adulthood is completely normal—this is a big transition, and it’s okay not to have everything figured out right now. Instead of pressuring yourself to make the “perfect” choice, try to see this stage as an opportunity to explore and learn. Your first decision doesn’t define your entire future; many people change majors or transfer schools. Focus on what matters most to you now—like the type of environment you’d enjoy, subjects that interest you, and the support systems you need. Adulthood isn’t about knowing everything from day one; it’s about learning how to navigate life step by step. You are not alone in this. Talk with some close friends!
My daughter took her first year to work and found a roommate to share an apartment, then started at community college to take the basic courses. Now she wants to transfer to the local University in the next year. I actually changed my major twice! I stayed in the dorms until I had a full-time job after college graduation. Even after college during my work career, I have been a sound designer, a web designer, a personal trainer at a gym, an office manager, and now a project manager.
Your future is not set in stone and can change anything at any time. There are no mistakes. Make a few choices and see how it goes. If it doesn't seem right, then make a different choice!
When anxiety hits, take a walk or do a breathing exercise or listen to some upbeat music that makes you happy.
Make a list of things you would like to do in life. Make a list of the things that cause you anxiety.
Share your lists with someone you trust; saying things out loud often makes them less overwhelming.
Limit comparison and social media. Everyone's path is different, so don't let yourself feel pressured by someone else's path. You are YOU!
Weigh the feedback and sleep on it! Make a few high-level decisions and see if you feel less weight!
Feeling anxious about choosing a college and stepping into adulthood is completely normal—this is a big transition, and it’s okay not to have everything figured out right now. Instead of pressuring yourself to make the “perfect” choice, try to see this stage as an opportunity to explore and learn. Your first decision doesn’t define your entire future; many people change majors or transfer schools. Focus on what matters most to you now—like the type of environment you’d enjoy, subjects that interest you, and the support systems you need. Adulthood isn’t about knowing everything from day one; it’s about learning how to navigate life step by step. You are not alone in this. Talk with some close friends!
My daughter took her first year to work and found a roommate to share an apartment, then started at community college to take the basic courses. Now she wants to transfer to the local University in the next year. I actually changed my major twice! I stayed in the dorms until I had a full-time job after college graduation. Even after college during my work career, I have been a sound designer, a web designer, a personal trainer at a gym, an office manager, and now a project manager.
Your future is not set in stone and can change anything at any time. There are no mistakes. Make a few choices and see how it goes. If it doesn't seem right, then make a different choice!
Shelley recommends the following next steps: