4 answers
Monica
Student
Highlands Ranch, Colorado
1
Question
Updated
295 views
How can I get out of laziness/slothfulness?
College student. 20 yrs old. Avid scroller on YouTube.
Days when I have work, I'm great, I get out, I live my best life. However, on days that I'm off, even sleeping in an hour can cost me dearly. I feel like I've wasted my whole morning, which means I've wasted the whole day. I rarely do my hobbies anymore. What do I do? I'm going off to college in the fall, out of state, but until then, how can I make my free days as good as my work days? How can I be fulfilled without motivation to propel me?
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4 answers
Bob Echols
Retired lawyer and ethics officer--current blogger and author of the For Our Friends the Animals quartet.
37
Answers
Fairhope, Alabama
Updated
Bob’s Answer
Hi, Monica. Thank you for your great questions.
Let me provide you a couple of thoughts and ideas for you to ponder.
First, try to refrain from self-denigration, i.e., I'm lazy or slothful. Truly sometimes how we categorize ourselves becomes who we are, and anyone who works and is going to college is neither lazy nor slothful.
Second, try not to critique yourself too much for resting or taking some time off from work or school. Everyone needs a break occasionally, and it is in those periods when we can refresh ourselves, recharge ourselves, and often get additional inspiration and ideas!
Next, if you are bothered by what you see as too much idle downtime, try breaking your off days into hourly chunks. Take one hour for scrolling, one hour for reading, one hour for exercising, one hour for socializing, that sort of thing.
Another idea--get one of those monthly calendars (or do it on the computer) and write down your goals for each month. What do you want to accomplish? You'll find that writing down your goals, always having them in front of you, will serve as a nice incentive towards accomplishing them.
Finally, be gentle with yourself and enjoy your time in college. This will be a growth time for you. You'll learn many new things, including many about yourself. Learning means making mistakes, omitting things you wanted to do, but always coming back and trying again. Forgive yourself any transgressions, make amends if you must, make changes if you think they'll be positive, and move on to accomplish new and wonderful things!
Best of luck and may God bless you!
Let me provide you a couple of thoughts and ideas for you to ponder.
First, try to refrain from self-denigration, i.e., I'm lazy or slothful. Truly sometimes how we categorize ourselves becomes who we are, and anyone who works and is going to college is neither lazy nor slothful.
Second, try not to critique yourself too much for resting or taking some time off from work or school. Everyone needs a break occasionally, and it is in those periods when we can refresh ourselves, recharge ourselves, and often get additional inspiration and ideas!
Next, if you are bothered by what you see as too much idle downtime, try breaking your off days into hourly chunks. Take one hour for scrolling, one hour for reading, one hour for exercising, one hour for socializing, that sort of thing.
Another idea--get one of those monthly calendars (or do it on the computer) and write down your goals for each month. What do you want to accomplish? You'll find that writing down your goals, always having them in front of you, will serve as a nice incentive towards accomplishing them.
Finally, be gentle with yourself and enjoy your time in college. This will be a growth time for you. You'll learn many new things, including many about yourself. Learning means making mistakes, omitting things you wanted to do, but always coming back and trying again. Forgive yourself any transgressions, make amends if you must, make changes if you think they'll be positive, and move on to accomplish new and wonderful things!
Best of luck and may God bless you!
Carolyn Tweedy
Manager of a User Research team
2
Answers
Denver, Colorado
Updated
Carolyn’s Answer
Hi Monica!
I relate to this so much... When I'm busy, I'm great! If I'm not incredibly busy, I can fall down the doom-scrolling/youtube rabbit hole very quickly.
Echoing what others have said, it's important to not get too down on yourself, and give yourself a break sometimes.
Something else that has really helped me is putting hard limits on my phone usage... I use an iphone, so there are ways to limit your timespend on certain apps, screentime, etc. Of course I have wriggled my way around those, and about 3 months ago I finally found an app that has been helping me with this, in particular. It's called BePresent-- I think they had a free trial and then I paid for it. It's not too expensive, but it has really been helping me use social media less, and block most apps on my phone during certain hours when know I should be doing other things...
It uses the same kind of hooks (e.g. psychological triggers/traps) that keep you engaged/coming back to social apps and youtube, and it seems to work for me...
Of course, I have to find other things to fill that time with, but that's much easier! I am fairly goal-oriented, so trying to get 10,000 steps a day, for instance, is a great motivator to get me up and walking/going on a hike, instead of sitting at home on my couch or laying on the bed.
Maybe trying a new hobby (inside or outside) might help get you unstuck/drawn to somethign that feels a little more productive, too. I've recently started knitting, and that has been a really nice way to feel like I'm doing something, but it's still passive and my body can rest while my hands/brain are occupied.
Structure, repetition, and routine are really important for me, too... Getting up at the same time, starting the day in the same way, etc.
You may consider reading/listening to "The Power of Habit" by Charles Duhigg... that helped me understand how to trick myself into getting into some routines, that help keep me moving/preventing the "slothiness" that I often fall into, also.
You've got this, Monica! There's a lot going on in the world. It's all overwhelming, and it sounds like you have a big life transition coming up, too (College)... That can be scary and disorienting, and those are totally normal feelings. When you get there, everything will change (hopefully in really great ways!), so getting into some of these habits/loops now might help a bit with that transition.
Best of luck to you! And as others have said, go easy on yourself! You are just a human doing human things, and that is 100% okay.
- Carolyn
Check out "The Power of Habit" by Charles Duhigg (it also has some workbooks, which are really fun/useful!).
Consider using phone app/time limiters, like built-in tools on your phone, or an app like BePresent to reduce time doomscrolling.
Set some micro goals to reach for every day (e.g. walking 10,000 steps) to get you up and moving and out of whatever environment you're in where the "slothfulness" begins.
Be patient with yourself and prepare for the upcoming transition to college in the fall!
I relate to this so much... When I'm busy, I'm great! If I'm not incredibly busy, I can fall down the doom-scrolling/youtube rabbit hole very quickly.
Echoing what others have said, it's important to not get too down on yourself, and give yourself a break sometimes.
Something else that has really helped me is putting hard limits on my phone usage... I use an iphone, so there are ways to limit your timespend on certain apps, screentime, etc. Of course I have wriggled my way around those, and about 3 months ago I finally found an app that has been helping me with this, in particular. It's called BePresent-- I think they had a free trial and then I paid for it. It's not too expensive, but it has really been helping me use social media less, and block most apps on my phone during certain hours when know I should be doing other things...
It uses the same kind of hooks (e.g. psychological triggers/traps) that keep you engaged/coming back to social apps and youtube, and it seems to work for me...
Of course, I have to find other things to fill that time with, but that's much easier! I am fairly goal-oriented, so trying to get 10,000 steps a day, for instance, is a great motivator to get me up and walking/going on a hike, instead of sitting at home on my couch or laying on the bed.
Maybe trying a new hobby (inside or outside) might help get you unstuck/drawn to somethign that feels a little more productive, too. I've recently started knitting, and that has been a really nice way to feel like I'm doing something, but it's still passive and my body can rest while my hands/brain are occupied.
Structure, repetition, and routine are really important for me, too... Getting up at the same time, starting the day in the same way, etc.
You may consider reading/listening to "The Power of Habit" by Charles Duhigg... that helped me understand how to trick myself into getting into some routines, that help keep me moving/preventing the "slothiness" that I often fall into, also.
You've got this, Monica! There's a lot going on in the world. It's all overwhelming, and it sounds like you have a big life transition coming up, too (College)... That can be scary and disorienting, and those are totally normal feelings. When you get there, everything will change (hopefully in really great ways!), so getting into some of these habits/loops now might help a bit with that transition.
Best of luck to you! And as others have said, go easy on yourself! You are just a human doing human things, and that is 100% okay.
- Carolyn
Carolyn recommends the following next steps:
TRAVIS UPCHURCH
Federal Contract Admin
323
Answers
Austin, Texas
Updated
TRAVIS’s Answer
It could be clinical, go get tested, no harm in checking. Get outside. join a club or church that allows for screenless fellowship. There are likely leagues for pickleball, bowling, or whatever you may find interest in. Set a specific time each day for screentime and stick to it. It is hard to avoid screens, alerts, social media. Turn your phone off and leave it in another room when needing intense focus time.
Debbie Fasenmyer
Artist
30
Answers
Cape Coral, Florida
Updated
Debbie’s Answer
Hi. Great question. You are already so self aware. Rest is essential. We can receive our best ideas when we’re in a relaxed state. Our body and mind need time to align and regroup.
Don’t be so hard on yourself. Listen to your body. Burnout is so common. Practice self care and that could be slowing down it could also include sleeping.
You are not lazy. You’re actually mindful of your physical, mental, emotional and cellular energy. Protect it.
Creative practices such as hobbies can actually help you to be more productive. Spending time in nature or daydreaming isn’t wasteful. It’s all time well spent.
Mindset matters and so does your mental health. Reframe your thoughts.
You are practicing self reflection.
I encourage you to use your downtime to work on personal growth and development. Seek out holistic ways to improve your productivity and health.
Try new things. Listen to music. Make art. Go on a walk. Explore meditation or guided visualization. Dance. Shift the energy in your body.
This is actually an advantage in school and the work place. You’re carving out time to balance your schedule.
Prioritize your health first and you’ll create a sustainable lifestyle. Make rest and recovery part of your daily routine.
Best of luck in your future endeavors.
Don’t be so hard on yourself. Listen to your body. Burnout is so common. Practice self care and that could be slowing down it could also include sleeping.
You are not lazy. You’re actually mindful of your physical, mental, emotional and cellular energy. Protect it.
Creative practices such as hobbies can actually help you to be more productive. Spending time in nature or daydreaming isn’t wasteful. It’s all time well spent.
Mindset matters and so does your mental health. Reframe your thoughts.
You are practicing self reflection.
I encourage you to use your downtime to work on personal growth and development. Seek out holistic ways to improve your productivity and health.
Try new things. Listen to music. Make art. Go on a walk. Explore meditation or guided visualization. Dance. Shift the energy in your body.
This is actually an advantage in school and the work place. You’re carving out time to balance your schedule.
Prioritize your health first and you’ll create a sustainable lifestyle. Make rest and recovery part of your daily routine.
Best of luck in your future endeavors.