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How do I integrate myself in college socially if I'm attending a PWI as a black woman and am very introverted?
Hello. I attend Vassar College and sometimes it feels a bit lonley because I don't know anyone.
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Deidra’s Answer
Hi. I do know how difficult it is as an introvert to make friends. I know there is an added level of uncomfortableness in a PWI because I attended one and I look like them and still felt out of place. When I went to the community college, it was so much easier because there was a mix of everyone and we all kind of got along because everyone's experience was unique, not cookie cutter. Once I got to my university, I tended to stay closer to the "transfer" students. It was harder to integrate with the others because they all probably went to high school together and spent their entire college career at the same university. They already seemed to have a connection and I didn't even necessarily want to be a part of it.
Other than the obvious advice that makes an introvert cringe, I would suggest asking a teacher for assistance. Hopefully, there is one that you feel is down to earth and cares about your college success. Tell them you want to get more integrated in "college social life" but need help with finding a good group you may enjoy spending time with. Otherwise, if you are sitting next to someone in class just ask them about how they did with the assignment and see if that leads to any conversations. I had a friend who always thought assignments were easy and they would help me in a study group because they wanted to help people and feel like "the smartest person in the room". I would meet others at that study group and it gave an opportunity to make friends. I still only had 2 friends in college I still talk to. I know it's difficult.
Other than the obvious advice that makes an introvert cringe, I would suggest asking a teacher for assistance. Hopefully, there is one that you feel is down to earth and cares about your college success. Tell them you want to get more integrated in "college social life" but need help with finding a good group you may enjoy spending time with. Otherwise, if you are sitting next to someone in class just ask them about how they did with the assignment and see if that leads to any conversations. I had a friend who always thought assignments were easy and they would help me in a study group because they wanted to help people and feel like "the smartest person in the room". I would meet others at that study group and it gave an opportunity to make friends. I still only had 2 friends in college I still talk to. I know it's difficult.