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How do you come across confident to higher ups and not cocky?

I'd like to know the best way to come across to the higher ups at work to become a better employee and to get to the top at my job.

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Subject: Career question for you

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Steph’s Answer

Help others soar to new heights alongside you! The most outstanding employees are those who uplift others and bring them up to their level. Enthusiastically share your winning strategies with your colleagues. Encourage their growth and development, seek their counsel, and offer your own. When you discover an effective approach, shout it from the rooftops! Even if this means revealing your closely-guarded "secrets" to success, remember that achieving greatness while others fall behind is not as rewarding as it might seem. Managers consistently value team players who can radiate positivity and exponentially increase their impact. Just imagine the incredible results when you and your colleagues achieve success together! So get out there and share your wisdom with someone eager to learn—you're bound to make a tremendous difference!
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Trudi’s Answer

If you are meeting in person, a good hand shake is key. I was always taught to look the person in the eye, smile and make them release the handshake first.
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Gus’s Answer

Both cockiness and confidence are found after doing the same thing: preparation. Whether you are preparing for a meeting, project, or even a lunch, preparation is the key to success. Being adequately prepared will give you confidence, and that will be demonstrated inherently to your bosses. However, if you present yourself as someone who is all-knowing or boast about your knowledge, then that gives the impression of cockiness. Do the work on the front-end, be humble in your presentation, and you will come across as confident.
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Tony’s Answer

Looking "cocky" is really a combination of arrogance and "over confidence". Being confident is focused inward, on yourself, that you are capable to get the task done. Being arrogant or over-confident is when you focus outward, comparing yourself to others, claiming to be the best, or at least better than, others with similar competencies.

What might seem as confident from one person could be seen as over-confident to others. Therefore, the key is to be humble, to admit that you are not perfect, and while confident to get this task done, may need help from others, or need to review/research some details before starting.

For example, my boss and I went to visit a customer, and I had a Powerpoint chart ready to go. When we got there, they gave me a list of 30 questions, which they wanted me to cover on the whiteboard instead. I reviewed them and knew I could answer all 30 of them, but did not want to appear cocky, so I said "Yes, I can handle most of these". I answered one after the other, but when I got to question 23, I said "I understand the question, but am not qualified to give you an answer. I know one or two experts in this area back in the office that can handle this, and perhaps we can schedule a follow-up call with them on a later date." I then answered the rest of the questions.

When I was headed to my first conference as a public speaker, my mentor told me he had a 3x5 index card with answers that will help me answer questions at the event. I went to his office to pick it up, expecting answers in the tiniest handwriting. Instead, one side said "I can't answer that" (for questions that I could answer, but were confidential or sensitive), and "I don't know, perhaps I can get back to you." (for questions you could probably guess correctly at, but didn't want to risk it)

Tony recommends the following next steps:

Read "How to win friends and influence people" by Dale Carnegie
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April’s Answer

I think one of the best ways to come across as confident instead of cocky is to seek out constructive criticism and accept it gracefully. If I have experiences with someone where I give them constructive criticism or advice and they profusely apologize for the next 10 minutes, I am more hesitant to offer them guidance for fear of hurting their feelings. I think that thanking someone for giving you advice and coming across as excited to implement it is an example of confidence, while also appearing humble enough to not come across as cocky.
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Amanda’s Answer

Hello Blair,

It is important to remain confident in your abilities, skills, and performance while also seeking constructive feedback. Being receptive to feedback to show the higher-ups at work that you're willing to grow and improve is a major component that management loves from employees. You can remain confident with what you do, but also show that you put in the work. Always be vigilant with tasks they give you, show that you're putting in the effort while also taking into consideration the growth you can achieve from their feedback.

Again, it's not a bad thing to be confident. It is just good to give your all every day you show up while having a sense knowing that you can always DO better, BE better, and grow as an employee. There is always room for improvement and knowledge to gain through management & coworkers.

I wish you nothing but success in your endeavors!
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Jennifer’s Answer

That's an excellent question! Building confidence is a key ingredient to leaving a lasting, positive impression on anyone, regardless of their position. Being cocky or displaying a "know-it-all" attitude only hampers meaningful conversations and connections. It's vital to understand that everyone, including those in higher ranks, have been in your shoes at some point and likely faced similar challenges.

When you engage with others, look them in the eyes, offer a firm handshake, smile, and show respect. There's no need to be shy or intimidated by someone's title. Take a proactive step by introducing yourself and seeking informational interviews with higher-ups whose positions you might aspire to or view as potential mentors. You'll be amazed at how many people are open to sharing valuable advice over a cup of coffee or a Zoom call. It's truly flattering to be considered as a source of guidance and wisdom.

Lastly, always strive for continuous learning and self-improvement. Seek feedback on your work, ask for suggestions on how to grow, and never forget that we all have room to become better versions of ourselves. Embrace your journey with a positive, proactive, and humble attitude. You've got this!
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