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Nevaeh
Student
Jacksonville, North Carolina
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How do I ask for a college recommendation letter?
I am an 18-year-old socially awkward senior in high school, and I am struggling with asking my teachers and counselors for a favorable recommendation letter. Should I still ask for one when they don't really know me that well?
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Matthew L. Tuck, J.D., M.B.A.
CEO/Managing Attorney, Greater Detroit Area
73
Answers
Lansing, Michigan
Updated
Matthew L.’s Answer
Hi Nevaeh.
Great question!
As in introvert myself, I struggled mightily with this too in both high school and in college when I was applying to law schools. Here is what I learned. And as a person who has written at least 100 of these letters myself for other people, it is often flattering to be asked and I enjoy doing it.
First, don't be embarrassed about asking for letters of recommendation. This is something that teachers and professors expect. It's part of the job and chances are they each had to request the same letters when they were applying for college, grad school or some other activity. I found I had the best luck with the teachers I really liked and who knew me well. These teachers will know you the best and can speak to aspects of your personality, academic career and strengths that a stranger can't know.
Second, narrow it down to 2 or 3 teachers you have a rapport with. Here again, they will know you and your personality and be more familiar with you and your accomplishments. Even if you don't know them that well, it's okay. Tell them that up front. Tell them you realize you don't know them that well but that you respect them and really liked their class and would they be able to help you with a letter. And, as noted below, give them help, particularly if you don't know them that well. Give them a resume of your accomplishments so they have material to work with.
Third, let them know very specifically what you need and how they need to submit it. Sometimes letters require a particular format or topic or must be submitted on-line. And always be polite and professional.
Fourth, ask them early. Popular teachers and coaches are going to have many requests at the same time, so give them as much lead time as you can. If you know you will need the letter(s) by the fall, try to get them the requests a the start of summer (many teachers have summers off with lots of time for other projects). Respect their time. This will also improve the product they produce because they can put much more thought and effort into it over, say, the course of the summer than if you tell them on a Friday that you need it by Monday. And after a few weeks or a month, follow up, but don't pester them. Teachers can forget.
Fifth, give them some help. Share the specific requirements with them (if any) and share your resume. Don't assume the teacher knows everything about you. It's much easier to give them some details that they incorporate. If you're applying to a school with a great journalism program, remind your teacher that you received a writing award or were assistant editor of the high school yearbook. Don't assume they know such details. These kinds of details will help them craft a really unique, detailed and persuasive letter.
Sixth, be sure to send a thank you. Be professional. I always sent an actual hand written thank you card. No one does that any more but it is shows good form. You might even include a thank you gift like a Starbucks card for a free coffee or something. It's a small gesture, but you would be surprised how many people do not say thank you.
And lastly, if you're still stuck, reach out to a guidance or academic counselor at school. They have been through all this hundreds of times and probably know which of your teachers write the best letters. They can help you approach the teachers if you're still shy about it.
To summarize, don't be embarrassed to request letters of recommendation. It's hard to ask busy adults for a favor. But it's part of the process. Teachers and coaches know their students will need these letters and are usually happy to help. But make sure you give them as much help as you can--give them specific instructions, a resume, and let them know you need it well in advance.
Good luck!
Pick several teachers who know you well.
Give them help - Let them know you need it well in advance what the deadline is. Provide a resume and some of your achievements that they can use to craft a great letter. Don't assume they know it all.
Follow up but don't bug them too much. Give them a deadline so they know when it's due.
Say thank you. Hand write a thank you note. This will mean the world to them and show them you are a professional and worthy of their time.
If all else fails, ask a guidance counselor for help. They can help you make the requests and will know the best teachers to ask.
Great question!
As in introvert myself, I struggled mightily with this too in both high school and in college when I was applying to law schools. Here is what I learned. And as a person who has written at least 100 of these letters myself for other people, it is often flattering to be asked and I enjoy doing it.
First, don't be embarrassed about asking for letters of recommendation. This is something that teachers and professors expect. It's part of the job and chances are they each had to request the same letters when they were applying for college, grad school or some other activity. I found I had the best luck with the teachers I really liked and who knew me well. These teachers will know you the best and can speak to aspects of your personality, academic career and strengths that a stranger can't know.
Second, narrow it down to 2 or 3 teachers you have a rapport with. Here again, they will know you and your personality and be more familiar with you and your accomplishments. Even if you don't know them that well, it's okay. Tell them that up front. Tell them you realize you don't know them that well but that you respect them and really liked their class and would they be able to help you with a letter. And, as noted below, give them help, particularly if you don't know them that well. Give them a resume of your accomplishments so they have material to work with.
Third, let them know very specifically what you need and how they need to submit it. Sometimes letters require a particular format or topic or must be submitted on-line. And always be polite and professional.
Fourth, ask them early. Popular teachers and coaches are going to have many requests at the same time, so give them as much lead time as you can. If you know you will need the letter(s) by the fall, try to get them the requests a the start of summer (many teachers have summers off with lots of time for other projects). Respect their time. This will also improve the product they produce because they can put much more thought and effort into it over, say, the course of the summer than if you tell them on a Friday that you need it by Monday. And after a few weeks or a month, follow up, but don't pester them. Teachers can forget.
Fifth, give them some help. Share the specific requirements with them (if any) and share your resume. Don't assume the teacher knows everything about you. It's much easier to give them some details that they incorporate. If you're applying to a school with a great journalism program, remind your teacher that you received a writing award or were assistant editor of the high school yearbook. Don't assume they know such details. These kinds of details will help them craft a really unique, detailed and persuasive letter.
Sixth, be sure to send a thank you. Be professional. I always sent an actual hand written thank you card. No one does that any more but it is shows good form. You might even include a thank you gift like a Starbucks card for a free coffee or something. It's a small gesture, but you would be surprised how many people do not say thank you.
And lastly, if you're still stuck, reach out to a guidance or academic counselor at school. They have been through all this hundreds of times and probably know which of your teachers write the best letters. They can help you approach the teachers if you're still shy about it.
To summarize, don't be embarrassed to request letters of recommendation. It's hard to ask busy adults for a favor. But it's part of the process. Teachers and coaches know their students will need these letters and are usually happy to help. But make sure you give them as much help as you can--give them specific instructions, a resume, and let them know you need it well in advance.
Good luck!
Matthew L. recommends the following next steps: