10 answers
Camila
Student
Doral, Florida
1
Question
Asked
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How did you earn people's respect when leading them? I've tried to treat them as my equal so that communication is more open, but how do I maintain that trust in me while also ensuring that they respect my authority??
I've tried to treat them as my equal so that communication is more open, but how do I maintain that trust in me while also ensuring that they respect my authority? For example I was president of the Science club at my school and was good friends with my board members but when I needed to be serious with them I felt like I wasn't really getting through to them and that they wouldn't respect me or take me seriously.
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10 answers
Paula Sturman
VP Talent and Development
12
Answers
Sherwood, Oregon
Updated
Paula’s Answer
Hi Camila,
Thank you for asking such an important question. Earning the respect of others is key when leading a group, and it begins with believing in yourself.
As a team leader, your group will rely on you for guidance. Be well-prepared, have a clear plan, stay open to feedback, and push the project forward with clear steps and responsibilities.
In the future, let your friends know how much you value their support as the club leader. Encourage them to take charge of specific tasks that contribute to the bigger picture. Channel their excitement into real actions that benefit everyone.
Wishing you great success,
Best,
Paula
Thank you for asking such an important question. Earning the respect of others is key when leading a group, and it begins with believing in yourself.
As a team leader, your group will rely on you for guidance. Be well-prepared, have a clear plan, stay open to feedback, and push the project forward with clear steps and responsibilities.
In the future, let your friends know how much you value their support as the club leader. Encourage them to take charge of specific tasks that contribute to the bigger picture. Channel their excitement into real actions that benefit everyone.
Wishing you great success,
Best,
Paula
Brian Trudeau
Team Leader
2
Answers
Newtown, Connecticut
Updated
Brian’s Answer
My best advice for building trust with your team is to deeply understand the nature of the bodies of work they've been charged with accomplishing, along with the obstacles they face. Being in the trenches with your team and being a servant-leader is an effective way to demonstrate to your team that you have their back.
Sergio Gago
Coordinate Technology People
1
Answer
Berlin, Germany
Updated
Sergio’s Answer
Respect comes from integrity, trust and empathy. It is not about specific skills. I.e. You don't need to know more than your team or peers to earn their respect. But to show them that you truly care.
The three main things everyone needs are mastery, autonomy and purpose. As a leader you should aim to guide people to find those.
The next thing that earns respect is being authentic, being you. Even in the bad situations. Note that being respected does not mean not making the hard decisions or telling things as they are (recommended reading: Radical Candor).
Lastly, go the extra mile with them. Lead with example. I.e. who is the first one and the last one working (don't be the manager who leaves early and drops the s**t on their team). Know them, their personal quirks and what motivates them. How are they personally. Is their family ok? Are they going through a hard time? Can you help them somehow?
I.e. it is closer to being a friend than a colleague (or classmate!)
The three main things everyone needs are mastery, autonomy and purpose. As a leader you should aim to guide people to find those.
The next thing that earns respect is being authentic, being you. Even in the bad situations. Note that being respected does not mean not making the hard decisions or telling things as they are (recommended reading: Radical Candor).
Lastly, go the extra mile with them. Lead with example. I.e. who is the first one and the last one working (don't be the manager who leaves early and drops the s**t on their team). Know them, their personal quirks and what motivates them. How are they personally. Is their family ok? Are they going through a hard time? Can you help them somehow?
I.e. it is closer to being a friend than a colleague (or classmate!)
Tina Pitt
Administrator and Professor
3
Answers
Atlantic Beach, NY
Updated
Tina’s Answer
Dear Camila,
Stephen gave you some excellent advice. I would add you might want to look into a couple of concepts online. The first is transformational leadership. This is where leaders help transform employees into doing/being their best. The other concept to look up is how to build teams. In all my years as an administrator I have used team building activities to support strong teams who make good decisions for the organization. I have used team building using ISO 9000 and total quality management concepts. One lesson from ISO 9000 is the question of lessons learned. It's an excellent activity when something has gone wrong. The team discusses what went wrong, what might have happened to make it go wrong and how to we correct the situation? When you plan like this together as a team, everyone is engaged in the solutions created and there is a minimum of resistance.
Good luck!
Tina
Stephen gave you some excellent advice. I would add you might want to look into a couple of concepts online. The first is transformational leadership. This is where leaders help transform employees into doing/being their best. The other concept to look up is how to build teams. In all my years as an administrator I have used team building activities to support strong teams who make good decisions for the organization. I have used team building using ISO 9000 and total quality management concepts. One lesson from ISO 9000 is the question of lessons learned. It's an excellent activity when something has gone wrong. The team discusses what went wrong, what might have happened to make it go wrong and how to we correct the situation? When you plan like this together as a team, everyone is engaged in the solutions created and there is a minimum of resistance.
Good luck!
Tina
Paul Clegg
Customer Success
1
Answer
London, England, United Kingdom
Updated
Paul’s Answer
Hey Camila,
Loved your point about "earning" respect – so true! It really hits home that leadership isn't about demanding, it's about building that foundation. Leading friends and former peers? That's a tough but incredibly valuable learning curve, especially when you step into a promotion.
Think of this as prime training for leading future teams. The comment about a shared goal, clear roles, and delegation is spot on for boosting effectiveness.
If you're finding some individuals aren't quite on board, a direct, honest conversation can be powerful. Share how their actions are landing and then really listen to their perspective. From there, you can work together to create a shared understanding of expectations and, crucially, how you can support them as their leader.
You might find the concept of Servant Leadership really interesting – tons of resources out there that could offer some extra insights.
No doubt, leadership can be challenging, but the rewards are immense. As you grow, you'll find that being a leader sometimes means navigating unequal dynamics, especially when deadlines and budgets are on the line and tough conversations become necessary. What you're navigating now is building that essential muscle.
Loved your point about "earning" respect – so true! It really hits home that leadership isn't about demanding, it's about building that foundation. Leading friends and former peers? That's a tough but incredibly valuable learning curve, especially when you step into a promotion.
Think of this as prime training for leading future teams. The comment about a shared goal, clear roles, and delegation is spot on for boosting effectiveness.
If you're finding some individuals aren't quite on board, a direct, honest conversation can be powerful. Share how their actions are landing and then really listen to their perspective. From there, you can work together to create a shared understanding of expectations and, crucially, how you can support them as their leader.
You might find the concept of Servant Leadership really interesting – tons of resources out there that could offer some extra insights.
No doubt, leadership can be challenging, but the rewards are immense. As you grow, you'll find that being a leader sometimes means navigating unequal dynamics, especially when deadlines and budgets are on the line and tough conversations become necessary. What you're navigating now is building that essential muscle.
Lauren Morehead
Sales
3
Answers
Santa Barbara, California
Updated
Lauren’s Answer
Camila, one tip that I would share here is to try to align your 'team' around a common goal. In the Science Club example - you could consider starting a meeting off by saying something like... 'today we are all here because of X. Our shared passion for Y means that our primary goal this (week, month, etc...) is to accomplish ABC' 'grateful for everyone's time, and look forward to celebrating when we achieve DEF as a team....' that type of framework! The key is remembering that you are in it together.
I also agree with Kangana that you will earn respect when you drive accountability, so don't be afraid to do it! In the science meeting example, wrapping the meeting up by confirming owners for specific tasks or action items, and then starting the next meeting by asking for updates on each of those items from the assigned people could be a good place to start.
I also agree with Kangana that you will earn respect when you drive accountability, so don't be afraid to do it! In the science meeting example, wrapping the meeting up by confirming owners for specific tasks or action items, and then starting the next meeting by asking for updates on each of those items from the assigned people could be a good place to start.
Alan Gooding
Strategic Account Executive
9
Answers
Bentonville, Arkansas
Updated
Alan’s Answer
Earn respect by leading with consistency, clarity, and mutual trust. I’ve always believed that treating people as equals fosters open communication and a more collaborative environment. But to maintain both trust and authority, I focus on a few key principles:
Consistency: I make sure my actions align with my words. Whether it’s following through on commitments or holding everyone — including myself — to the same standards, consistency builds credibility over time.
Clear Communication: I prioritize being direct and transparent. I don’t assume people know what I expect — I articulate it clearly, and I encourage questions and dialogue to avoid confusion.
Setting Clear Expectations: From the start of any project or relationship, I define roles, goals, and standards so that everyone understands what success looks like. That clarity makes it easier for people to take ownership and remain aligned.
Willingness to Receive Feedback: I actively seek feedback from my team and create a safe space for them to be honest with me. It shows that I value their perspective and that leadership is a two-way relationship.
Giving Actionable Feedback: When I need to provide feedback, I make it specific, timely, and solution-oriented. It’s never about blame, but about helping the person improve and feel supported in their growth.
Consistency: I make sure my actions align with my words. Whether it’s following through on commitments or holding everyone — including myself — to the same standards, consistency builds credibility over time.
Clear Communication: I prioritize being direct and transparent. I don’t assume people know what I expect — I articulate it clearly, and I encourage questions and dialogue to avoid confusion.
Setting Clear Expectations: From the start of any project or relationship, I define roles, goals, and standards so that everyone understands what success looks like. That clarity makes it easier for people to take ownership and remain aligned.
Willingness to Receive Feedback: I actively seek feedback from my team and create a safe space for them to be honest with me. It shows that I value their perspective and that leadership is a two-way relationship.
Giving Actionable Feedback: When I need to provide feedback, I make it specific, timely, and solution-oriented. It’s never about blame, but about helping the person improve and feel supported in their growth.
Stephen Meyer
Business Analyst
2
Answers
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Updated
Stephen’s Answer
Hi Camila, this is a really interesting question and something I've struggled with as I've managed a team - my biggest piece of advice is to lead from the front, not the back.
What this means in practice is to have a "we're going to figure this out together" approach instead of a "go do this for me" approach. As a leader, you set the direction for your organization and are driving toward a result. Clearly communicate that intended result and share the things that need to happen to get there. Then, most importantly, make sure you're getting your hands dirty as well in working towards that result so you can understand the obstacles your team is facing and work to resolve them. Being on the ground also builds trust and a sense of camaraderie.
Finally, sometimes you can not lead from the perspective of friendship. You can of course be friendly with your team - but a friend isn't often writing performance reviews or directing the work of their friends. Relying on friendship for results can erode your authority and actually reduce the trust your team members have in your leadership. It's a tough mindset shift but often necessary for effective leadership.
What this means in practice is to have a "we're going to figure this out together" approach instead of a "go do this for me" approach. As a leader, you set the direction for your organization and are driving toward a result. Clearly communicate that intended result and share the things that need to happen to get there. Then, most importantly, make sure you're getting your hands dirty as well in working towards that result so you can understand the obstacles your team is facing and work to resolve them. Being on the ground also builds trust and a sense of camaraderie.
Finally, sometimes you can not lead from the perspective of friendship. You can of course be friendly with your team - but a friend isn't often writing performance reviews or directing the work of their friends. Relying on friendship for results can erode your authority and actually reduce the trust your team members have in your leadership. It's a tough mindset shift but often necessary for effective leadership.
RJ Ciabocchi
Customer Success Manager
3
Answers
New York, New York
Updated
RJ’s Answer
Hi Camila,
To be a good leader, lead by example. Start by treating club members with respect and as equals. It's important to have authority, but never be rude or treat them unfairly. When leading, be clear and assertive. Let them know which tasks they can handle and which ones you'll manage. Also, make sure they know you're there to help if needed. By taking on some tasks yourself, your team will see you're not just a figurehead.
Remember to connect with your team on a personal level and check in on their well-being.
To be a good leader, lead by example. Start by treating club members with respect and as equals. It's important to have authority, but never be rude or treat them unfairly. When leading, be clear and assertive. Let them know which tasks they can handle and which ones you'll manage. Also, make sure they know you're there to help if needed. By taking on some tasks yourself, your team will see you're not just a figurehead.
Remember to connect with your team on a personal level and check in on their well-being.
Kangana Patel
Student
40
Answers
Edison, New Jersey
Updated
Kangana’s Answer
Great question, Camila! It’s definitely a tricky situation, but it’s so important to find a balance between being approachable and asserting your authority. I completely understand, it can feel a little awkward when you’re leading friends or peers, especially when it’s time to get serious. What helped me was setting clear expectations and boundaries early on, even in a friendly tone. People will respect you more when they see that you're consistent, reliable, and not afraid to hold others accountable when needed. You’re already doing a great job by focusing on open communication just remember that trust and respect can absolutely coexist when you lead with confidence and clarity.