2 answers
Griffin
Student
Lehi, Utah
1
Question
Asked
319 views
What is the hardest part of going back to school as an adult with a family and a a full time job, and what techniques did you use to overcome them??
I am returning to school after about 8 years, I am returning to get a second bachelors, this time an accelerated bachelors of science in nursing. I have a wife, two kids, and a full time job I need the income from. Any ideas and tips would he phenomenal.
Login to comment
2 answers
Ebony Staten
CareerVillage.org TeamDirector
27
Answers
Riverside, California
Updated
Ebony’s Answer, CareerVillage.org Team
Hi Griffin,
Kudos to you for going back to school. We were in the same boat in 2020 when I went back to school (husband, two small kids, full time job). What helped us was similar to what Heather shared. Communication. I can't say it enough. Especially talking through the "Its not you, I just feel overwhelmed right now" conversations. Make talking things through part of the routine.
For me my littles were still little and they didnt always understand so I had to talk to them routinely, play outside for 10 minutes, watch some cartoons and put my phone down. This was the hardest part for me. My husband did what he could with keeping them occupied but there are just times when they needed to know I still cared and that I saw them.
Also, batch meals. We cooked all our proteins on Sunday so that during the week we only needed to prep easy sides to go with them. This meant that when meals didn't take forever and they didn't take any thought.
Finally, be sure to set up your study space, homework space, work space somewhere where you can close a door or hide it from yourself. When you're done for the day, you can actually be done if you put it away.
Hopefully this helps
You got this!!
Kudos to you for going back to school. We were in the same boat in 2020 when I went back to school (husband, two small kids, full time job). What helped us was similar to what Heather shared. Communication. I can't say it enough. Especially talking through the "Its not you, I just feel overwhelmed right now" conversations. Make talking things through part of the routine.
For me my littles were still little and they didnt always understand so I had to talk to them routinely, play outside for 10 minutes, watch some cartoons and put my phone down. This was the hardest part for me. My husband did what he could with keeping them occupied but there are just times when they needed to know I still cared and that I saw them.
Also, batch meals. We cooked all our proteins on Sunday so that during the week we only needed to prep easy sides to go with them. This meant that when meals didn't take forever and they didn't take any thought.
Finally, be sure to set up your study space, homework space, work space somewhere where you can close a door or hide it from yourself. When you're done for the day, you can actually be done if you put it away.
Hopefully this helps
You got this!!
Heather MacDonald
Principal Consultant
24
Answers
Salt Lake City, Utah
Updated
Heather’s Answer
Congrats on making the decision to go back to school. We were in a similar situation when my husband went back to school for his MBA. Two kids plus both of us working because we needed the income/insurance.
Some of the things that worked for us was being open and clear about who can do what so we could survive the added time needed to study without me feeling like I had to take on every responsibility around the house.
We also carved out times where he would plan to study. We made sure the kids knew that sometimes dad has to study and that means they can play on their own or sometimes if I was free we'd go to the library or go run errands. This made it easy for me to plan things I needed to do around that time and we could set expectations with the kids. The kids were old enough to understand the concept of dad being in school so we're not talking about kids in diapers for us.
We're lucky that my husband is super efficient with his time when he studies so he stays focused and knocks stuff out. The rest of it felt like a lot of patience and understanding that this wasn't going to be forever. I guess my best advice is to have an honest conversation with your wife to get clear on what each of you needs from each other so that you're not dealing with resentment or mixed up expectations as time goes on. If you can find ways to divide and conquer and be there for each other it may be tough at times but you'll make it through. Good luck in the nursing program and I hope this is helpful.
Some of the things that worked for us was being open and clear about who can do what so we could survive the added time needed to study without me feeling like I had to take on every responsibility around the house.
We also carved out times where he would plan to study. We made sure the kids knew that sometimes dad has to study and that means they can play on their own or sometimes if I was free we'd go to the library or go run errands. This made it easy for me to plan things I needed to do around that time and we could set expectations with the kids. The kids were old enough to understand the concept of dad being in school so we're not talking about kids in diapers for us.
We're lucky that my husband is super efficient with his time when he studies so he stays focused and knocks stuff out. The rest of it felt like a lot of patience and understanding that this wasn't going to be forever. I guess my best advice is to have an honest conversation with your wife to get clear on what each of you needs from each other so that you're not dealing with resentment or mixed up expectations as time goes on. If you can find ways to divide and conquer and be there for each other it may be tough at times but you'll make it through. Good luck in the nursing program and I hope this is helpful.