1 answer
2
Asked 205 views

How to deal with college transition?

Hi everyone,
I’m a first-year college student, and I’ve been struggling a lot more than I expected. In high school, I was the perfect-grades student. I was valedictorian, and school always felt like something I could control. But now in college, I’m probably going to end the semester with two A- grades, and it’s been hitting me way harder than it should.

I know an A- isn’t bad at all, but the fear of not being “perfect” has been consuming me. I’ve cried so many times this semester because I keep thinking I’m messing up my whole future. I care a lot about my GPA because I want to go to a top graduate program one day—places like MIT or Harvard. Because of that, I put a ton of pressure on myself, and the stress feels overwhelming. I know a huge part of me is being irrationally obsessed with my grades, but I really am struggling to separate my identityt from my grades (something I've discussed with my therapist and am trying to work on as well)

I guess I’m looking for advice from people who have been through this.
• How did you handle the transition from high school to college?
• How did you deal with the fear of being anything less than perfect?
• Does having a few A- grades really hurt your chances for top grad schools?
• What helped you calm down, stay focused, and still do well?

I would really appreciate any personal stories or honest opinions. I’m trying to learn how to be kinder to myself and still succeed.

Thank you so much.

college college-advice
Answer This
2

1 answer

0
Updated
Share a link to this answer
Share a link to this answer

YoonJi’s Answer, CareerVillage.org Team

Rashmitha, you are not alone. So many young people (and adults) feel this way. I feel this way, still. I felt this way throughout my early education as I went to bigger and bigger schools. Eventually, I ended up at the top high school in Hawaii, and I met scary-smart kids who could ace the exam in their sleep while I was losing sleep studying until my eyes got dry at night, haha. What I am trying to say is that there is intense competition wherever you go and in whatever you aim to achieve. You are experiencing this in college right now. When you get to Harvard, MIT, Stanford, or other top programs, you'll experience this again. Same in the workplace and beyond.

Don't forget - you are brilliant and deserve to be where you are! If you don't believe in yourself, who will?! It starts with you believing in yourself. That you can do what you set out to do. Sometimes it takes a bit more time to reach your intended goal. The most important thing is that you're working hard every day to be better. I would look into the Japanese philosophy of "Kaizen," which focuses on continuous, incremental improvement. Perfection is a goal that you can try to achieve, but is humanly impossible. No one is perfect. I humbly suggest that you re-frame this and be the best version of you that you can be.

College is such a magical time for learning, self-growth, and curious thinking. I encourage you to work hard in school, but also to balance your life and ensure you're experiencing the great opportunities to meet some of your future lifelong friends, fantastic mentors, and professors. I also had the same goal as you. I focused on grad school quite intensely and was laser-focused on my grades. I would highly recommend you get work experience, either as an intern and/or part-time work. Focus on getting exposure in the areas of study and career you are interested in. Learn as much as you can. Become AI-literate, experiment with it, and then become an AI-native! Be well-rounded as a student and future professional. It will help you more than you know in graduate school. I got into a top 10 graduate school program for international affairs in my late 20s, which was my goal during undergrad. However, without work experience, I struggled immensely to get a job during the in-between years of my early to mid-20s. It was a tough job market back then (as it is now), with the housing crisis. So definitely hedge your bets with work experience. Plus, this work experience will add immense value to your graduate school admissions process and program experience, as you'll have real-life examples of being in the field that will enrich your grad school studies. Who knows? Maybe your path will change as a result of these various experiences, and you'll pivot from an Ivy League school and instead go to another top program for the study area of your choice!

I hope you feel a sense of optimism and hope from this note. Take it step by step. Have a plan that you're working towards for the next few years, BUT be open, nimble, and flexible about life and the many interesting paths you can take in our short time on earth. Check in every year or 6 months on your goals and see if they are still the same or you have a new direction you want to explore. These days, the intersection of different careers (think like healthcare x tech or data science x pro sports) are key. So definitely be open to new opportunities for learning (education, personal, professional, emotional, etc. all the types)!

YOU GOT THIS.
<3 from the CareerVillage team and community.
0