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Why is it so difficult to pursue a career that reflects my true passions when cultural and family expectations feel so limiting?
Why is it so difficult to pursue a career that reflects my true passions when cultural and family expectations feel so limiting? Growing up, my world was very restricted—I was only allowed to leave home for school, and summers were spent entirely indoors, without access to libraries, sports, or social activities.The internet and movies became my window to the world. Watching American films and learning about music and performing arts sparked a deep interest in creative, public-facing careers. Yet, these interests were met with skepticism and disapproval from my family. In my culture, professions involving independence or public presence are often unacceptable for women; only teaching or medicine are widely approved.This has left me feeling torn. I dream of expressing myself creatively, working hard, and building a life of independence and achievement. But I face immense pressure to conform, including expectations about marriage and career paths that do not align with my aspirations.What advice can you offer for navigating these challenges, exploring careers that match my passions, and gaining personal and professional independence despite these restrictions? Any guidance or resources you could share would be deeply appreciated.Thank you for your time and for supporting young people seeking career guidance
1 answer
Kim Igleheart
Kim’s Answer
Our societies are basically built upon the family unit. And, within the family, traditions/culture is slow to change. Most people will tell you to try to talk to your parents, but, as teens, we are ill-equipped for conversations of that magnitude. I will say that parents want what they perceive as "best" for their children.
On my mother's side of the family, I am only a second generation American. Her family is Italian. When I graduated college, I announced my plans to get an apartment. Mom made Dad come and talk to me, to tell me that "in our family" girls live at home until they are married. Honestly, I wasn't raised around my relatives, and had learned nothing about how "our" family did things. I moved out anyway. When I got married a year later, Mom tried to take an active role in planning my wedding. She disagreed with everything I was trying to do. I told her she had already had her wedding. She said Grandma had handled it. I told her I was sorry she had missed the opportunity to plan a wedding, but that I would be doing things my way, and, that I did not want their financial help with the wedding.
This is to say, if, after trying to talk to your parents, things don't turn around, it's time to outwardly appear to be going along with their plans, while quietly planning to break away - get a passport, save up some money, whatever it takes. BUT realize, it may cause an irreparable split from your family. It comes at a very heavy cost. Hopefully once you have established yourself and are successful and happy, that connection can possibly be re-established. In the meantime, you will be starting over with no family and no friends, and will need to learn to find community support networks to give you the emotional strength to keep going.
I'm hoping you manage to see this through!
Kim
Thank you so much, Kim!
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