13 answers
Jada
Student
Redford Charter Township, Michigan
1
Question
Asked
752 views
How do I become more social ?
I am introverted and in my room a lot, very shy and do not talk to people #any
13 answers
John Hughes
3
Answers
Updated
John’s Answer
Be confident in yourself
It is ok to be quiet
Step outside your comfort zone
Become friends with an extrovert
Thing of things you might want to talk about
It is ok to be quiet
Step outside your comfort zone
Become friends with an extrovert
Thing of things you might want to talk about
Loved John's answer here. Almost exactly what I've experienced to help with being an introvert, which I am. Nowadays, in the work environment, I have quiet periods and I have non-quiet periods where I have to lead activities and that didn't happen overnight, just takes practice and confidence, which equates to experience. Just try a little here and there and you'll get to where you want to be.
Enrique Vidal
Pro Professional
209
Answers
Fort Worth, Texas
Updated
Pro’s Answer
I'm the same way. If you don't feel comfortable around people, talk to birds! You can have actual conversations with them-tell them all about your day, what you liked about it, what went wrong-the more you talk to them, the more you'll find out how well they actually understand and respond to you. I one asked a bird if she knew where another bird I couldn't find was, and she looked straight at at me, with a sad look on her face, then pointed her beak in the direction where I ended up finding the other bird's bones and feathers-one of my best buddies had gotten eaten! :(
And another time, I asked a duck (I'm pretty sure he was a wild bird) at the park if he wanted to migrate, or follow me home, when it was cold outside. His eyes lit up, his cheeks got round (he was obviously smiling at me), and he led the way to the parking lot, walked right up to the passenger-side door of a car, looked at me, then stared at the door handle as if asking, "are you going to open this door for me?" If that had been my car, then I would have-but I had walked there.
Find a bird, smile at him or her, and start a conversation
You'll have a new feathered friend!
Other people might be interested in seeing you talk to the birds and ask you about them.
Then you'll also have some human friends, and something in common with them.
And another time, I asked a duck (I'm pretty sure he was a wild bird) at the park if he wanted to migrate, or follow me home, when it was cold outside. His eyes lit up, his cheeks got round (he was obviously smiling at me), and he led the way to the parking lot, walked right up to the passenger-side door of a car, looked at me, then stared at the door handle as if asking, "are you going to open this door for me?" If that had been my car, then I would have-but I had walked there.
Pro recommends the following next steps:
Gloria Ortiz
Instructional Designer
838
Answers
Irving, Texas
Updated
Gloria’s Answer
Hi Jada,
I am an introvert too. For us, planning to be social is an important thing, so I am glad that you are reaching out for some ideas. I would say that the easiest way to do it is to join a club in a subject or take a class in a subject that you are passionate about. For example, I have improved my social skills while volunteering. I love to give back to my community. I choose to engage in activities where I am doing some physical, like sorting food for at a food bank or build a playground for a local community park. This allows me to work with different people, but the point is not to talk all the time, but to work together to accomplish something. Several years ago, I wanted to learn how to do Flamenco dancing. So I took a class. It was a group of women learning together and that gave us a reason to be social while working together toward a goal. At the beginning of both activities, I was the quiet one. And most of the time, I remained the mostly quiet one. Yet having a shared vision of what to do with a group of people, allowed me to get more comfortable with talking with everyone.
I hope that this will help you find something where you are comfortable being social. You can do it. You just need to be willing to try.
Gloria
I am an introvert too. For us, planning to be social is an important thing, so I am glad that you are reaching out for some ideas. I would say that the easiest way to do it is to join a club in a subject or take a class in a subject that you are passionate about. For example, I have improved my social skills while volunteering. I love to give back to my community. I choose to engage in activities where I am doing some physical, like sorting food for at a food bank or build a playground for a local community park. This allows me to work with different people, but the point is not to talk all the time, but to work together to accomplish something. Several years ago, I wanted to learn how to do Flamenco dancing. So I took a class. It was a group of women learning together and that gave us a reason to be social while working together toward a goal. At the beginning of both activities, I was the quiet one. And most of the time, I remained the mostly quiet one. Yet having a shared vision of what to do with a group of people, allowed me to get more comfortable with talking with everyone.
I hope that this will help you find something where you are comfortable being social. You can do it. You just need to be willing to try.
Gloria
Gabriela Simeonova
Sales Operations
6
Answers
Florham Park, New Jersey
Updated
Gabriela’s Answer
Hi Jada,
I've always been an introvert and it has taken me years to open up more. I still struggle with certain aspects but the first and most important thing is to take things at your own pace. I would write down what you would like to be able to do, set some goals for yourself. On the days you feel more adventurous you can tap into that list and do one thing from it. Also, joining a workout class, general class, or volunteer events is always a good option with little to no pressure. Part of it is immersing yourself in the situation and not letting yourself overthink. If going to events is too much maybe join an online discussion group. Build up to it and don't force yourself into the deep end straight away. Set a goal for the week, whatever it is, and keep adding to it weekly or monthly. At a certain point, you will reach a level of socialization you will feel comfortable with and at that point just keep it up.
I've always been an introvert and it has taken me years to open up more. I still struggle with certain aspects but the first and most important thing is to take things at your own pace. I would write down what you would like to be able to do, set some goals for yourself. On the days you feel more adventurous you can tap into that list and do one thing from it. Also, joining a workout class, general class, or volunteer events is always a good option with little to no pressure. Part of it is immersing yourself in the situation and not letting yourself overthink. If going to events is too much maybe join an online discussion group. Build up to it and don't force yourself into the deep end straight away. Set a goal for the week, whatever it is, and keep adding to it weekly or monthly. At a certain point, you will reach a level of socialization you will feel comfortable with and at that point just keep it up.
Al Pease
5
Answers
Updated
Al’s Answer
Take it at your own pace but don't be afraid to engage.
1) Engage in more conversations with strangers
2) Join a small social group with interest similar to yours
3) Be a good listener and provide feedback (Don't be afraid to speak up)
4) Be helpful to others that may need your help
5) Join a local Toastmasters organization. That's exactly what they do. toastmasters.org
6) Join a student club at school that your interested in.
Good Luck!
1) Engage in more conversations with strangers
2) Join a small social group with interest similar to yours
3) Be a good listener and provide feedback (Don't be afraid to speak up)
4) Be helpful to others that may need your help
5) Join a local Toastmasters organization. That's exactly what they do. toastmasters.org
6) Join a student club at school that your interested in.
Good Luck!
Harvey Tripp
9
Answers
Updated
Harvey’s Answer
Hi Jada!
First of all, theres nothing wrong with being an introvert! Don’t think that you have to change if you have a negative perspective on being an introvert. You’re wonderful just the way you are and that is what makes you unique.
However, being able to become more extroverted can be done through many different outlets. One of the greatest paths you can take is joining a group of people that share the same interests, such as clubs. Another way I would suggest is joining a fraternity. There are many fraternities that are not at all focused on partying, and are more focused on helping others such as AKPsi or DSP. Those two are perfect examples of fraternities want to help people grow and create meaningful relationships.
First of all, theres nothing wrong with being an introvert! Don’t think that you have to change if you have a negative perspective on being an introvert. You’re wonderful just the way you are and that is what makes you unique.
However, being able to become more extroverted can be done through many different outlets. One of the greatest paths you can take is joining a group of people that share the same interests, such as clubs. Another way I would suggest is joining a fraternity. There are many fraternities that are not at all focused on partying, and are more focused on helping others such as AKPsi or DSP. Those two are perfect examples of fraternities want to help people grow and create meaningful relationships.
Safwan Shahed
Student
36
Answers
New Brunswick, New Jersey
Updated
Safwan’s Answer
I think it's important to not feel so bad for your introversion. The world wouldn't be able to function without different types of people. The biggest thing i can recommend is to try and find people with similar interests as yourself. If your school has any clubs available or you could even make your own to find some similar people. Good Luck.
Eliza Jones
10
Answers
New Brunswick, New Jersey
Updated
Eliza’s Answer
Hi Jada,
I know exactly where you are coming from with struggling to put yourself out there more. I think a key thing to do is to do things that put you out of your comfort zone. I know this is easier said than done but start slow! Try complimenting someone in your class to start a conversation or simply practice your talking skills when you are out in public. I think also joining activities that you are interested in could be a good way to put you out of your comfort zone.
I know exactly where you are coming from with struggling to put yourself out there more. I think a key thing to do is to do things that put you out of your comfort zone. I know this is easier said than done but start slow! Try complimenting someone in your class to start a conversation or simply practice your talking skills when you are out in public. I think also joining activities that you are interested in could be a good way to put you out of your comfort zone.
Dana Kim
30
Answers
Goleta, California
Updated
Dana’s Answer
Hey Jada!
I'm also a pretty introverted person and a homebody! I love staying in my room too and tend to be a little shy sometimes. I learned that if you act like you are confident and social, you can trick yourself and actually embody it. My advice would be to first join social gatherings such as clubs and organizations you are interested in. If you are involved in something you have interest in, I'm sure you would have much to talk about to people! I think that's a big step in becoming more social :))
I'm also a pretty introverted person and a homebody! I love staying in my room too and tend to be a little shy sometimes. I learned that if you act like you are confident and social, you can trick yourself and actually embody it. My advice would be to first join social gatherings such as clubs and organizations you are interested in. If you are involved in something you have interest in, I'm sure you would have much to talk about to people! I think that's a big step in becoming more social :))
Danielle Wolklin
Recruiting
1
Answer
Lakewood, Colorado
Updated
Danielle’s Answer
Hi Jada,
I would consider myself an introvert as well, at least until I get to know someone. For me, I have found that in the professional realm that knowledge is power for me, when I am confident on the subject I am more extroverted in the conversation, when I am not I am eager to soak in the knowledge and ask questions. That may help you too in the professional ream. Personally, if you have any groups or sports that interest you, I have found that joining those teams has helped me in the past.
I would consider myself an introvert as well, at least until I get to know someone. For me, I have found that in the professional realm that knowledge is power for me, when I am confident on the subject I am more extroverted in the conversation, when I am not I am eager to soak in the knowledge and ask questions. That may help you too in the professional ream. Personally, if you have any groups or sports that interest you, I have found that joining those teams has helped me in the past.
Dani Gladfelder
HR
2
Answers
South Elgin, Illinois
Updated
Dani’s Answer
Forcing yourself to go outside your comfort zone is critical. However, never change and always be your authentic self (as that is what makes YOU so special) but ensuring that you are connected to the "right" people is key for your personal and professional growth. The best path to your development /progression is ensuring you are making an effort to network, network and network some more. I too am introverted and as I "force" myself to do this, I know it is truly helping me in the long run and it has been instrumental in my growth.
Marica Hueneke
Insurance Underwriting
24
Answers
Nolensville, Tennessee
Updated
Marica’s Answer
Do you have any interests or hobbies? One thing that might help you is a group event or activity. Sports is a good way to be active and make some friends. If sports isn't for you, how about a volunteer opportunity or a club you might have an interest in? It's ok to be the quiet one in the room too. You will find your groove and will break out of your shell when you're ready.
Marisa Held
Business Operations Support
5
Answers
Bensalem, Pennsylvania
Updated
Marisa’s Answer
Hi Jada,
First- and most importantly, please understand that it is completely ok to be an introvert! The world needs ALL types of people.. we all learn from each other!
Have you considered that your introversion is actually your strength? As a person who could be classified as an extrovert, I often wish I could find solace in my 'alone space'. I think that I crave the attention of others to detract from the fear I have of being alone. Also, as an extrovert- the expectation is always for me to behave in that capacity. The 'obligation' to continue to be social is exhausting.. as there are times that I just want to be quiet and reserved, but people always think 'there is something wrong' if I am not being outwardly social. I admire you... and I hope that you find that inner strength and use it as you navigate through your life's journey.
I encourage you also to use that STRENGTH to find the courage to engage others. Take it at your own pace and do what feels comfortable for you. Each encounter may be different and will require different energy. There is never a wrong reaction- just go with your gut instinct and go with how your feelings serve you.
And remember- TOGETHER, we can draw strength from one another.
Take care!
First- and most importantly, please understand that it is completely ok to be an introvert! The world needs ALL types of people.. we all learn from each other!
Have you considered that your introversion is actually your strength? As a person who could be classified as an extrovert, I often wish I could find solace in my 'alone space'. I think that I crave the attention of others to detract from the fear I have of being alone. Also, as an extrovert- the expectation is always for me to behave in that capacity. The 'obligation' to continue to be social is exhausting.. as there are times that I just want to be quiet and reserved, but people always think 'there is something wrong' if I am not being outwardly social. I admire you... and I hope that you find that inner strength and use it as you navigate through your life's journey.
I encourage you also to use that STRENGTH to find the courage to engage others. Take it at your own pace and do what feels comfortable for you. Each encounter may be different and will require different energy. There is never a wrong reaction- just go with your gut instinct and go with how your feelings serve you.
And remember- TOGETHER, we can draw strength from one another.
Take care!
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