The best piece of advice I could give here is to have open communication with not only your spouse but your boss/colleagues. Having an open discussion with those you work with can allow them and you to develop a plan to help you meet both your career and family obligations. I found everyone was willing to work with me and be flexible with my work arrangements as long as I kept open lines of communication and was able to complete my work on time.
The same can be said with your spouse. It will take sacrifice on both your parts to accomplish both your work and family goals. So always communicating what is happening away from work as well as what is happening at home is important.
In terms of where to live, finding a location that accommodates both of your needs, even it requires a compromise on both your parts, is important.