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Why do I lack confident since my child hood, and how can I come out for it,it killing me?

I'm fearful someone

Thank you comment icon HI Solomon, wanted to check in on you and make sure you're okay. If you're feeling down or need someone to talk to, https://r.kokocares.org/careervillage/ is available to help you. If you need additional support, please don't hesitate to reach out to me. Sharyn Grose, Admin
Thank you comment icon Thanks Sharyn for being on top of this - life is difficult to navigate and sometimes we need a little extra help Kim Igleheart
Thank you comment icon Just work hard and do something you are good at.....your confidence will build....:) Sean Alexander

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Subject: Career question for you

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Nikolaos’s Answer

Hi Solomon,

Thank you for raising this extremely valuable question. My personal motto is everything in life is hours of driving. The more you drive your car, the better driver you become. You have to know that more or less we all have fears and doubts that can make us feel stuck or fearful. However, just like learning to drive, building confidence is a journey that requires patience and practice.I strongly feel that by asking this question here, you have already started the engine. Continue by recognizing your achievements, no matter how small they may seem. Each success is a milestone on your journey to becoming a more confident driver of your life. Challenge the negative thoughts and replace them with affirmations of your strengths and capabilities. Facing your fears is an essential part of this journey. Each time you encounter a fear, see it as an opportunity to add miles to your confidence journey. Confronting what scares you, whether it's a difficult conversation, a new task, or stepping into an unfamiliar situation, helps you grow. The more you face your fears, the more you prove to yourself that you can handle life's challenges.

Additionally, it's always useful to surround yourself with supportive people who believe in you and encourage your growth. Seek experiences that push you out of your comfort zone in manageable ways, allowing you to gradually build your confidence. Remember, confidence isn't about never feeling fear, but about driving through the fear and trusting that you have the ability to navigate whatever comes your way.

Best of luck to your amazing journey.

Regards,
Nikolas
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Kim’s Answer

Solomon,

Throughout my first career, I avoided situations that would require public speaking. I missed out on lots of career opportunities. At my next career, I was required to occasionally teach classes. Yikes!!!! Thankfully it was the same class, over and over and over. This gave me the opportunity to get good at it. I began deviating from how I was taught to do it, and made it my own. I actually began to enjoy it!

Yes, as Nikolas pointed out, practice, practice, practice. Do not avoid that which makes you uncomfortable. For example, there is an organization called Toastmasters where people go to practice public speaking! Something else that helps young people become self-confident young adults is joining the military. By the time you finish basic training, you'll be a totally different person.

You can start now to tackle these fears. A little at a time. Whatever you are afraid of, just start doing it. Perhaps start taking a martial arts class. Or a painting class. Gradually make yourself do things outside of your comfort zone.

You can do this!!

Kim
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Chinyere’s Answer

Hello Solomon,

I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling with a lack of confidence and fearfulness. It can be incredibly challenging to deal with these feelings, and it's important to acknowledge the impact they have on your well-being.

It's normal for childhood experiences to shape our self-perception and confidence levels. Sometimes, negative experiences or messages from our past can linger and influence how we see ourselves as adults. Understand that you're not alone in this struggle – many people face similar challenges.

Coming out of a lack of confidence takes time, patience, and self-compassion. It might be helpful to explore why you feel this way by looking into your childhood experiences or seeking guidance from a therapist who can provide support tailored to your specific needs.

Remember that building confidence is a gradual process. Focus on small steps forward rather than expecting instant results. Celebrate even the smallest accomplishments along the way, as they will contribute positively towards your overall growth.

Surrounding yourself with supportive individuals who believe in you is essential for boosting your self-confidence. Seek out those who uplift and encourage you rather than bringing you down or reinforcing negative beliefs about yourself.

Above all, be kind and compassionate towards yourself throughout this journey of building confidence. Remind yourself that everyone has their own struggles, insecurities, and areas for growth. You deserve understanding, patience, and love as you work to overcome these challenges. I hope that you find the support and guidance you need to break free from fearfulness and build the confidence you deserve.

Best wishes Solomon!
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Simone’s Answer

Hey there... I completely understand the struggle of grappling with self-doubt.
Sometimes, we feel powerless and inadequate, constructing a reality in our minds that we truly believe reflects our worth. This can lead to feeling confined and uneasy as this self-created universe seems to shrink around us.
However, with time, I've come to realize that this world only feels small because we are much more resilient and capable than we give ourselves credit for. We've grown and matured, witnessing life from various perspectives.
Yes, life can be tough, but once we discover the hidden strength within us, we begin to feel an invigorating surge of power.
I firmly believe that we can overcome our insecurities by simply exploring our inner selves and identifying our passions. There's absolutely no reason to be anxious! Just take a moment, breathe deeply, and connect with your heart.
If you feel the urge to cry, let those tears flow! Allow your sorrow and fears to wash away with your tears in the shower. Don't resort to crying into your pillow. The shower's water will cleanse your mind, heart, and soul.
With the dawn of a new day, you'll find yourself brimming with hope and ready to embrace new challenges!
I have faith in you! You've got this!
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