1 answer

Will my parents be happy with the choices i'm making for my future?

Asked San Antonio, Texas

Ever since dad has passed and mom has lost her voice since his loss , there has only been silence among them. I have no idea where my future is going or where it will be. All I want to know is if they will be happy. Thats all. #family

1 answer

Col Sen’s Answer

Updated New Delhi, Delhi, India

Dear Mahpara,

My heart goes to you and we all understand what you are going through. Certainly it is most challenging period in your life. The loss you have suffered is immense. While nothing can fill the void because of your dad's demise but this is not the time to be weak. On the contrary, you have to be very strong and be a rock support to your Mom.


In oriental (say Indian philosophy) belief, death is the part of the journey and the soul never dies, it only changes it's external attire. Despite the knowledge and truth about life and death, absence of the departed soul is felt every moment by the family. In your case, it is more pronounced.


I feel that you must be with your Mom as much as you can and do a role reversal (if possible), as if she is the child and you are the Mum. It's not easy but I have seen children grew up overnight when father passed away and mom was affected badly. Being a soldier, I had two close encounters (within my regiment) when my best friends passed away (at a different time interval). I am an witness to narrate today that it was a treat to see how elder daughters in either of the cases handled the responsibility. Happy -Go-Lucky girls suddenly grew up and held the families together, carried on with their responsibilities and made sure their siblings do not suffer yet they achieved what they wanted to be. One is a very well settled as doctor and another one went to became a software professional.


With your psyche, I have no doubt that whatever you will do, you will have blessings of your dad and support of mom (though in silence). You can do 'No Wrong' and that's my belief too! Have faith in yourself that you will do well in whichever venture you wish to undertake. Since, it is not known which level you are studying at, I can generally say that you continue your studies and complete till graduation, should the finances allow. In case, you have to be a bread earner, do so, but don't leave your studies. Remember, you will get your dues abundantly provided you pursue your studies and attend to the duties to your mom.


May god bless you all the courage and support you need. Amen!