4 answers
Joel
Student
Sanger, California
1
Question
Updated
1040 views
How do have the strength to pursue what you want above your parents aspirations for you?
At first I wanted to be a lawyer, at the prompting of my parents(mainly my mom), then I wanted to be a priest. But now I’m sure I want to pursue the medical field or some sort of occupation that deals with the public health. One topic that has interested me is herbalism. I like the idea of natural medicine, yet, I don’t mind a hands on job where I take care of or treat people. Right now im in an ROP CNA class at school, I might even stick with that, but my parents(out of my best interests) are set on seeing me become a doctor of some sort. It’s fine, it’s also one of my interest, but I need to hear from someone else how they might have found their passion. How did they know it was the right thing and how were you able to pursue it despite others maybe not supporting you? Im also Catholic so right now Im going with where God is guiding me, if there’s any fellow Christians or Catholics out there please tell me how you know it was your God-Given calling and tell me a bit about your journey.
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4 answers
Siva Kann
VP of Products & Technology
31
Answers
Cincinnati, Ohio
Updated
Siva’s Answer
Hello Joel,
What you’re experiencing is very common, especially at this stage of life.
When someone isn’t fully clear yet on "what they want" or WHY, it naturally creates space for others (parents, teachers, relatives ) to project their opinions. On top of that, there’s also a very human tendency to resist parental advice, even when it comes from good intentions. I’ve been through this myself, and I see the same pattern with my own kids.
One thing I’ve learned over time is this:
If you are very clear about what you want and why, it usually becomes much easier to explain that to your parents. Most conflicts come from uncertainty, not rebellion.
Also, if you’re not someone who was “born knowing exactly what they were meant to do,” you are absolutely not alone. Many of us choose early career paths based on what we know at that moment, not because it’s a lifelong calling.
A more useful approach is to step back and ask yourself a few foundational questions:
* What genuinely INTERESTS me?
* What are my STRENGTHS?
* Is there anything I feel drawn to or PASSIONATE about, even if it’s not fully clear yet?
For example: Your interests are medicine, public health, herbalism, hands-on care that actually share a common thread: helping and healing people. That’s important. It means you’re not as scattered as you might think.
When it comes to college and early career choices, I usually recommend being more of a GENERALIST, rather than locking yourself into something very specific too early. As you learn, work, and gain exposure, you’ll naturally start aligning toward what fits your strengths and interests best.
A simple question I encourage people to ask regularly is:
“Would I be okay doing this for the next few years?” Not forever. Just the next phase.
Careers and people evolve. As long as what you’re pursuing aligns with your "Strength + Interest + Passion", your work tends to feel meaningful, even as it changes / shape over time.
Wish you the best!
- Siva
What you’re experiencing is very common, especially at this stage of life.
When someone isn’t fully clear yet on "what they want" or WHY, it naturally creates space for others (parents, teachers, relatives ) to project their opinions. On top of that, there’s also a very human tendency to resist parental advice, even when it comes from good intentions. I’ve been through this myself, and I see the same pattern with my own kids.
One thing I’ve learned over time is this:
If you are very clear about what you want and why, it usually becomes much easier to explain that to your parents. Most conflicts come from uncertainty, not rebellion.
Also, if you’re not someone who was “born knowing exactly what they were meant to do,” you are absolutely not alone. Many of us choose early career paths based on what we know at that moment, not because it’s a lifelong calling.
A more useful approach is to step back and ask yourself a few foundational questions:
* What genuinely INTERESTS me?
* What are my STRENGTHS?
* Is there anything I feel drawn to or PASSIONATE about, even if it’s not fully clear yet?
For example: Your interests are medicine, public health, herbalism, hands-on care that actually share a common thread: helping and healing people. That’s important. It means you’re not as scattered as you might think.
When it comes to college and early career choices, I usually recommend being more of a GENERALIST, rather than locking yourself into something very specific too early. As you learn, work, and gain exposure, you’ll naturally start aligning toward what fits your strengths and interests best.
A simple question I encourage people to ask regularly is:
“Would I be okay doing this for the next few years?” Not forever. Just the next phase.
Careers and people evolve. As long as what you’re pursuing aligns with your "Strength + Interest + Passion", your work tends to feel meaningful, even as it changes / shape over time.
Wish you the best!
- Siva
Thank you. This was really good advice. It makes me feel a bit better as I walk forward to my future. I will strongly keep your advice in mind, accounting for my strengths and what I love. I gotta know by the time I get there what I can see myself doing for years or even forever. Thanks a lot!
Joel
I'm glad it helped. Wishing you the best!
Siva Kann
Hwal Lee
DMSc, PA-C
275
Answers
Albany, New York
Updated
Hwal’s Answer
Joel,
I feel like most of us, if not all of us, have many passions and we know what we are passionate about. I do feel that it helps when your passion and what you do for a living aligns. In other words, when you're truly passionate about your career choice. You may have noticed that I referred to 'your' career choice, and I would encourage you to consider how you feel about a potential job or career choice, in addition to those outside your control, such as whether or not those around you support your choice. Personally though, I have very much always prioritised my wants, needs, and preferences when it comes to my career. And becoming a PA was one of those choices and I'm glad I made that choice. It wasn't an instant choice, though, because I'm from Australia where the PA profession as we know it in the U.S. doesn't yet exist. Once I learned about what PA is and how PAs are trained, I was sold. I didn't want to compromise on the rigor of medical training, and that what I got out of PA school.
I was a CNA for a time before applying to PA school. I hope you enjoy your CNA course. It could give you valuable healthcare experiences.
I hope this helps. Let me know if you have any specific questions I can help with.
Good luck!
Hwal
I feel like most of us, if not all of us, have many passions and we know what we are passionate about. I do feel that it helps when your passion and what you do for a living aligns. In other words, when you're truly passionate about your career choice. You may have noticed that I referred to 'your' career choice, and I would encourage you to consider how you feel about a potential job or career choice, in addition to those outside your control, such as whether or not those around you support your choice. Personally though, I have very much always prioritised my wants, needs, and preferences when it comes to my career. And becoming a PA was one of those choices and I'm glad I made that choice. It wasn't an instant choice, though, because I'm from Australia where the PA profession as we know it in the U.S. doesn't yet exist. Once I learned about what PA is and how PAs are trained, I was sold. I didn't want to compromise on the rigor of medical training, and that what I got out of PA school.
I was a CNA for a time before applying to PA school. I hope you enjoy your CNA course. It could give you valuable healthcare experiences.
I hope this helps. Let me know if you have any specific questions I can help with.
Good luck!
Hwal
Thank you very much. It inspires me how you were able to decide what was best for you. I will take Ada vantage of the CNA and keep moving forward. Thanks a lot!
Joel
Gregory Barclay, M.D., DLFAPA, FASAP
Psychiatrist
33
Answers
Wilmington, Delaware
Updated
Gregory’s Answer
Joel,
I would answer this through two different lenses. The first one, from personal exprience, I abandoned by aspriations to become a professional musician while already in college to appease the demands and expectations of my parents, and pursued the "agreeable" route to medical school. I too heard the "we're looking out for what's best for you" mantra along with the constant remarks that I lacked the skills to ever make it in the musical profession. At this point in life, my parents are both dead yet I am having to live with the decisions made almost 50 years ago. From a professional perspective, having worked with teens and their parents for many years, I have seen enough to say that most (if not all) of the situations such as yours I have encountered have related more to unmet needs and issues of the parents as well as a lack of sensitivity to their son's needs and aspirations, resulting in him living the life they need him to live instead of the one he aspires to live.
I know that sounds bleak. But, it is my way of agreeing with what others have told you - follow your heart and be true to yourself. You are the one who will end up living with the decisions you make - even long after your parents are gone from this earthly life.
Best Wishes,
Greg
I would answer this through two different lenses. The first one, from personal exprience, I abandoned by aspriations to become a professional musician while already in college to appease the demands and expectations of my parents, and pursued the "agreeable" route to medical school. I too heard the "we're looking out for what's best for you" mantra along with the constant remarks that I lacked the skills to ever make it in the musical profession. At this point in life, my parents are both dead yet I am having to live with the decisions made almost 50 years ago. From a professional perspective, having worked with teens and their parents for many years, I have seen enough to say that most (if not all) of the situations such as yours I have encountered have related more to unmet needs and issues of the parents as well as a lack of sensitivity to their son's needs and aspirations, resulting in him living the life they need him to live instead of the one he aspires to live.
I know that sounds bleak. But, it is my way of agreeing with what others have told you - follow your heart and be true to yourself. You are the one who will end up living with the decisions you make - even long after your parents are gone from this earthly life.
Best Wishes,
Greg
Sarah Sweeney
Medical Assistant and Counselors Agency Affiliate
2
Answers
Oak Harbor, Washington
Updated
Sarah’s Answer
You will know in your heart. If this is what you truly want to do, and this is where your heart is, and it feels right with you and your beliefs, it doesn’t matter what anyone else feels. This is your life. Follow what you feel God and your heart is telling you. It is hard to explain, but you will just know. Your heart and soul will tell you.
Thank you! I just have a bit of fear for the future, but what you say is beautiful. I will remember your words when I begin to doubt and fear. Thank you so much!
Joel