4 answers
Eiley
Student
Roseau, Minnesota
3
Questions
Updated
308 views
Why do I feel like I have to have my whole future figured out right now?
I feel stressed and pressured because it seems like everyone expects me to know exactly what I want to do after high school. I’m not sure about my future yet, and I want advice on how to deal with this pressure without feeling overwhelmed or lost.
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4 answers
Vianne Phan
Youth Development Teacher
296
Answers
San Diego, California
Updated
Vianne’s Answer
I get why you feel this way. When everyone seems to want a clear answer about your future, it can make you feel like you're behind if you don't have one. This pressure can be overwhelming, especially when you're still figuring out who you are and what you like. Feeling unsure is normal and doesn't mean anything is wrong with you.
Many people act like you need a perfect plan right now, but most paths aren't set in stone. People often change majors, switch careers, and find new interests. What you choose after high school isn't your final stop; it's just the next step. You can explore, try new things, and make changes without having everything planned out.
Many people act like you need a perfect plan right now, but most paths aren't set in stone. People often change majors, switch careers, and find new interests. What you choose after high school isn't your final stop; it's just the next step. You can explore, try new things, and make changes without having everything planned out.
Liam Rielly
Data Center Technician
180
Answers
Manassas, Virginia
Updated
Liam’s Answer
Eiley, I had the worst time in high school with this as well! Let me bring you back to the mid to late ninety's to help share my story. TVs were more deep than wide and were at least 20lbs for a small one, computers screamed at you when you went online, telephones didn't go in your pocket at least one part was mounted to the wall, and you had to remember your friends individual phone numbers if you wanted to call them. At this point in time most of my teachers and school admin were all telling me I needed to choose a job, be serious about it, and study aggressively if I wanted to get anywhere in life. There was no guidance for what anything was going to be like in the future, there was no hopeful technology that was going to solidify jobs, and most of the manufacturing that was happening in the US (which was the common job back before then) were starting to be sent over seas. Even worse when I was a child in the eighties schools were just trying to get us all to be astronauts with no real thought or actions behind that!
You cannot plan for something and be exactly right for what it will be twenty (or thirty) years from now. You cannot say "I want to be a ___" and be 100% spot on for the rest of your life! I am not saying there are people who don't do that, there obviously are, but how many of them are train engineers or firefighters today?! All of this is noise that school admins and teachers make to validate their jobs. I know that statement is going to be unpopular with some people reading it but its true. The same teacher that didn't allow me to count with fingers is the same one that said I won't be carrying around a calculator in my pocket when I grow up, now we all have iPhones.
I hope saying this is liberating more than it is worrying. You are an intelligent, thoughtful, resourceful, kind, human being that will be successful no matter what path you are going down right now or choose in the future. I fully stand by this statement and hope you follow the path that best suits you WHEN it suits you. No one is telling you this, but you are allowed to change your mind about something in the future. You are allowed to be dead wrong about something in your life (I AM wrong in my life more than I am right). You are allowed to be good at or interested in one or more subject, academic or not. You are allowed to find something you like to do as work, you are allowed to work a boring job because its easy. You define your success.
The place you should be right now is you should be gathering skills to be good at doing a profession and self care. You should be maximizing what you do to learn and grow academically and professionally. You should be trying different activities, taking different classes in school, meeting new people, figuring out what you are good at doing, and figuring out your sustainability to create mobility for you later on. I grew up in a town with essentially one type of person that worked at one mill downtown, and if you weren't them you weren't really anyone. That did not suit me so I moved and figured out I am really good at fixing electrical equipment and electronics. The job I have today is essentially something that did not exist when I was growing up and would not have been on the career roster at school. Are you dead certain that the career you chose will exist in twenty years? It may, but it also may not.
Does this mean now that the degree or career path you chose will keep you in something dead end? Not at all! Unless you have figured out you DO NOT want to do this degree or career, try to at least get the education anyway. I went to college, then dropped out. I tried one more time, then dropped out again. I found that it is better to have some college than none on a job application and it is better to have some completed credits on paper than not. It's better to have a degree than not, it just may not get you into the field you were hoping for, but its ok to go back to school and study again later! Its better to have a trade than not, that's what got me motion in my career. Its better to have work experience doing a specialty for more than five years that it is to have a degree sometimes.
Find a job that has some mobility with it, something that you can maybe get to a junior manager or administrator position at. Take a vocational class if its available to you. Find something you can get a degree in easily. Learn online or from a self paced learning program. Do ALL of these in a way you can live and not get burned out. Figure out your time for study, but keep time for play as well. Network with people online and in person so when you need a job you can ask around for one instead of starting from scratch over and over. Get skills, being skilled at something there is a demand for is the way to get a great career no matter what.
If I went back in time and told my high school teachers what I am actually doing right now, they would say it sounds like weird science fiction and completely made up. I work in a data center managing networks and computer racks as well as monitoring power and HVAC for thousands of machines running code, hosting websites, and training AI. I have a lot of skills but am always learning new ones to keep me working in this environment. I did not know in the mid ninety's that this would have been a job someone would have had in the future either, but I remained open to the idea I needed more than one skill and that a traditional path of learning to working was probably not going to work for me.
So as we talk about this with our TVs that are just a screen, our computers which connect to the internet over the air, our telephones that we play video games on and watch tictok on, and call our friends using phone numbers stored on the cloud, think about what skills you can build now that will make you marketable and productive in the future. You have years to decide and you have the ability to change your mind later as you see fit. Do the best for you at the time you need to and don't be afraid to change if and when you need to! You got this! Seriously!
You are an intelligent, thoughtful, resourceful, kind, human being that will be successful no matter what path you are going down right now or choose in the future.
I've shared this a couple times today, its valid here too - https://www.khanacademy.org/college-careers-more/financial-literacy
Find some self paced cources on Khan Academy as well and try them out, there is no loss if you never complete them (I know because I still haven't completed one!!)
Read books. Read anything. Read about different topics to start to figure out your interests. Used books are much cheaper and will usually have the same info as new books.
Join a club or an organization that might interest you or get you around people like yourself. Networking is a skill you want to start now!
You cannot plan for something and be exactly right for what it will be twenty (or thirty) years from now. You cannot say "I want to be a ___" and be 100% spot on for the rest of your life! I am not saying there are people who don't do that, there obviously are, but how many of them are train engineers or firefighters today?! All of this is noise that school admins and teachers make to validate their jobs. I know that statement is going to be unpopular with some people reading it but its true. The same teacher that didn't allow me to count with fingers is the same one that said I won't be carrying around a calculator in my pocket when I grow up, now we all have iPhones.
I hope saying this is liberating more than it is worrying. You are an intelligent, thoughtful, resourceful, kind, human being that will be successful no matter what path you are going down right now or choose in the future. I fully stand by this statement and hope you follow the path that best suits you WHEN it suits you. No one is telling you this, but you are allowed to change your mind about something in the future. You are allowed to be dead wrong about something in your life (I AM wrong in my life more than I am right). You are allowed to be good at or interested in one or more subject, academic or not. You are allowed to find something you like to do as work, you are allowed to work a boring job because its easy. You define your success.
The place you should be right now is you should be gathering skills to be good at doing a profession and self care. You should be maximizing what you do to learn and grow academically and professionally. You should be trying different activities, taking different classes in school, meeting new people, figuring out what you are good at doing, and figuring out your sustainability to create mobility for you later on. I grew up in a town with essentially one type of person that worked at one mill downtown, and if you weren't them you weren't really anyone. That did not suit me so I moved and figured out I am really good at fixing electrical equipment and electronics. The job I have today is essentially something that did not exist when I was growing up and would not have been on the career roster at school. Are you dead certain that the career you chose will exist in twenty years? It may, but it also may not.
Does this mean now that the degree or career path you chose will keep you in something dead end? Not at all! Unless you have figured out you DO NOT want to do this degree or career, try to at least get the education anyway. I went to college, then dropped out. I tried one more time, then dropped out again. I found that it is better to have some college than none on a job application and it is better to have some completed credits on paper than not. It's better to have a degree than not, it just may not get you into the field you were hoping for, but its ok to go back to school and study again later! Its better to have a trade than not, that's what got me motion in my career. Its better to have work experience doing a specialty for more than five years that it is to have a degree sometimes.
Find a job that has some mobility with it, something that you can maybe get to a junior manager or administrator position at. Take a vocational class if its available to you. Find something you can get a degree in easily. Learn online or from a self paced learning program. Do ALL of these in a way you can live and not get burned out. Figure out your time for study, but keep time for play as well. Network with people online and in person so when you need a job you can ask around for one instead of starting from scratch over and over. Get skills, being skilled at something there is a demand for is the way to get a great career no matter what.
If I went back in time and told my high school teachers what I am actually doing right now, they would say it sounds like weird science fiction and completely made up. I work in a data center managing networks and computer racks as well as monitoring power and HVAC for thousands of machines running code, hosting websites, and training AI. I have a lot of skills but am always learning new ones to keep me working in this environment. I did not know in the mid ninety's that this would have been a job someone would have had in the future either, but I remained open to the idea I needed more than one skill and that a traditional path of learning to working was probably not going to work for me.
So as we talk about this with our TVs that are just a screen, our computers which connect to the internet over the air, our telephones that we play video games on and watch tictok on, and call our friends using phone numbers stored on the cloud, think about what skills you can build now that will make you marketable and productive in the future. You have years to decide and you have the ability to change your mind later as you see fit. Do the best for you at the time you need to and don't be afraid to change if and when you need to! You got this! Seriously!
Liam recommends the following next steps:
Karen Kitchel
Community Volunteer
467
Answers
Saint Paul, Minnesota
Updated
Karen’s Answer
I'm sorry you are feeling stressed. Know you are not alone. Although your friends and contacts might seem to have their future planned, no one knows what the future will bring.
Talk to a trusted adult about how you are feeling -- think about all of your relatives, neighbors and your parents -- who do you think is most likely to support the way you're feeling? Sometimes just being able to share thoughts and feelings helps us to feel better.
While you don't need to make any specific plans, think about the things you might enjoy doing. Dream big and wide -- be an astronaut, a kindergarten teacher, a chef, a stay-at-home Mom, a lawyer, a musician, etc. You don't need to have the skills now to do those things, but you can share with others something you're just thinking about when they ask about your plans.
Don't forget to enjoy your life while you are young! The years will go by very quickly.
With all good wishes and many blessings!
Karen
Talk to a trusted adult about how you are feeling -- think about all of your relatives, neighbors and your parents -- who do you think is most likely to support the way you're feeling? Sometimes just being able to share thoughts and feelings helps us to feel better.
While you don't need to make any specific plans, think about the things you might enjoy doing. Dream big and wide -- be an astronaut, a kindergarten teacher, a chef, a stay-at-home Mom, a lawyer, a musician, etc. You don't need to have the skills now to do those things, but you can share with others something you're just thinking about when they ask about your plans.
Don't forget to enjoy your life while you are young! The years will go by very quickly.
With all good wishes and many blessings!
Karen
Gus S
Consultant
113
Answers
Los Angeles, California
Updated
Gus’s Answer
Hey there - I know it may seem like you have to have it all figured out. But one of the key things that you will realize is that you will evolve as you grow and learn more - so you won't always know what is directly ahead! Stay curious and explore new topics that interest you. Focus on learning and growth - you don't have to be locked into one "right" answer for your career. Good luck!