14 answers
2
Questions
Asked
822 views
Im worried about high school
Im an 8th grader going into high school, but i’m not sure if I want to go or like if i’m ready. I got a lot of worries and i’m really going to miss middle school. I’m worried about like if i’ll get made fun of or if I wont do good in my classes or what career i’m going to pursue. I feel like now lifes going to get serious and everythings going to change. I feel like i’ll be expected to be an adult when im only in high school. I just dont wanna grow up, having a hard time thinking about it.
Login to comment
14 answers
Updated
Cliff’s Answer
Danny,
I do understand your concerns. It's nice to not have responsibilities and to not have to take life seriously. The problem with that is: If you never grow up, you give those who take responsibility for you the right to boss you around and make decisions for you that you might not like. At some point, that is going to get BEYOND annoying. Growing up and taking responsibility for yourself is an inevitability (assuming that you are able to assume responsibility for yourself).
Taking responsibility for yourself will ultimately lead to freedom for yourself to: Make your own decisions, decide where you spend your time/money, decide who you spend time with, decide what you do with your body as well. Those are all important things and if you don't take responsibility, you may not be able to do those things.
When it comes to worrying about if people will make fun of you, I would say this: I ALWAYS thought that people could do a better job of speaking or performing things or volunteering to do certain things. I finally decided that if they didn't like how I did things, I would offer to have them take over. That usually shut them right down because putting yourself out there is risky, but people who would make fun of you are JUST AS AFRAID OF FAILURE AS YOU ARE. We have a 3-word saying at work to help set yourself apart from others: THINK, PREPARE, REHEARSE. First, THINK about what you want to do and how you want to do it. Next, PREPARE yourself to do well (e.g. stretching for athletics, etc.). Finally, REHEARSE what you're going to do - if it's a speech, practice in front of a mirror. Prepare for catcalls and intimidation and think about responses like: "Do you want to take over?" "Do you think you can do better?" Remember - they are just as scared as you, but you can THINK, PREPARE, REHEARSE and they will likely be winging it.
Growing up can be scary, but it is also AMAZING. I wasn't as scared of going into high school as I was going into college. I GREW UP SO MUCH my first 2 months of college that when I went back to my hometown for a high school basketball game I realized I had changed so much that the now high school seniors seemed like grade schoolers to me. This will happen to you at some point, and I think you will be surprised how confident you become as you matriculate through high school.
The ONLY constant thing in life is CHANGE. It sounds like an oxymoron, but it's the truth. You will need to become comfortable being uncomfortable with change instead of resisting it to succeed. Another saying is: FAKE IT UNTIL YOU MAKE IT. It means you need to ACT like you're comfortable with the change until such time as you truly ARE comfortable with it. You will go through HUNDREDS of changes in your life, and you CAN'T control what happens you, but you CAN control how you deal with it. People who deal calmly and effectively with change will always succeed in life.
You are correct that things get serious in high school. If you plan to attend college, you should think about taking an ACT/SAT test. You should be thinking seriously about what you want to do with the rest of your life - college? trade school? other job? Think about what you like doing and what you're good at: Working with kids? Helping others? Auto mechanic? Whatever it is, think about how to prepare for it. Talk to guidance counselors. Think about shadowing people who you might want to emulate. My son shadowed a doctor in 5th grade and he's now a doctor after a long road, but he loves it. There's something you like doing as well - find a way to prepare for a job that allows you to do that or something similar.
Ok, I'll stop with the advice after one more: Whether you think you can or you think you can't, YOU'RE RIGHT! This means you HAVE to believe in yourself (while you work towards your goals) and you will do it. Seize your life!
Good luck!
I do understand your concerns. It's nice to not have responsibilities and to not have to take life seriously. The problem with that is: If you never grow up, you give those who take responsibility for you the right to boss you around and make decisions for you that you might not like. At some point, that is going to get BEYOND annoying. Growing up and taking responsibility for yourself is an inevitability (assuming that you are able to assume responsibility for yourself).
Taking responsibility for yourself will ultimately lead to freedom for yourself to: Make your own decisions, decide where you spend your time/money, decide who you spend time with, decide what you do with your body as well. Those are all important things and if you don't take responsibility, you may not be able to do those things.
When it comes to worrying about if people will make fun of you, I would say this: I ALWAYS thought that people could do a better job of speaking or performing things or volunteering to do certain things. I finally decided that if they didn't like how I did things, I would offer to have them take over. That usually shut them right down because putting yourself out there is risky, but people who would make fun of you are JUST AS AFRAID OF FAILURE AS YOU ARE. We have a 3-word saying at work to help set yourself apart from others: THINK, PREPARE, REHEARSE. First, THINK about what you want to do and how you want to do it. Next, PREPARE yourself to do well (e.g. stretching for athletics, etc.). Finally, REHEARSE what you're going to do - if it's a speech, practice in front of a mirror. Prepare for catcalls and intimidation and think about responses like: "Do you want to take over?" "Do you think you can do better?" Remember - they are just as scared as you, but you can THINK, PREPARE, REHEARSE and they will likely be winging it.
Growing up can be scary, but it is also AMAZING. I wasn't as scared of going into high school as I was going into college. I GREW UP SO MUCH my first 2 months of college that when I went back to my hometown for a high school basketball game I realized I had changed so much that the now high school seniors seemed like grade schoolers to me. This will happen to you at some point, and I think you will be surprised how confident you become as you matriculate through high school.
The ONLY constant thing in life is CHANGE. It sounds like an oxymoron, but it's the truth. You will need to become comfortable being uncomfortable with change instead of resisting it to succeed. Another saying is: FAKE IT UNTIL YOU MAKE IT. It means you need to ACT like you're comfortable with the change until such time as you truly ARE comfortable with it. You will go through HUNDREDS of changes in your life, and you CAN'T control what happens you, but you CAN control how you deal with it. People who deal calmly and effectively with change will always succeed in life.
You are correct that things get serious in high school. If you plan to attend college, you should think about taking an ACT/SAT test. You should be thinking seriously about what you want to do with the rest of your life - college? trade school? other job? Think about what you like doing and what you're good at: Working with kids? Helping others? Auto mechanic? Whatever it is, think about how to prepare for it. Talk to guidance counselors. Think about shadowing people who you might want to emulate. My son shadowed a doctor in 5th grade and he's now a doctor after a long road, but he loves it. There's something you like doing as well - find a way to prepare for a job that allows you to do that or something similar.
Ok, I'll stop with the advice after one more: Whether you think you can or you think you can't, YOU'RE RIGHT! This means you HAVE to believe in yourself (while you work towards your goals) and you will do it. Seize your life!
Good luck!
Chinyere Okafor
Educationist and Counseling Psychologist
1376
Answers
Updated
Chinyere’s Answer
Hi Danny,
What you’re feeling is honestly really normal, even if it feels overwhelming right now. A lot of students act excited about high school while secretly worrying about the exact same things: fitting in, harder classes, growing up too fast, losing old routines, and feeling pressure about the future.
The important thing to remember is that high school is not suddenly “adult life.” You are not expected to have your whole future figured out at 14. High school is still a place to learn, grow, make mistakes, meet people, discover interests, and slowly become more independent over time. Nobody wakes up on the first day suddenly mature and confident.
And honestly? Most freshmen are nervous, too, even the ones who look calm. Everyone is adjusting in some way. Within a few months, the school that feels huge and unfamiliar now will probably start feeling normal.
About careers, you truly do not need to decide that now. High school is where a lot of people start discovering what they enjoy. Your interests will probably change and grow over the next few years, and that is completely okay.
Try not to think about the next four years all at once. Focus on smaller things: meeting a few good people, staying on top of assignments, trying activities you enjoy, and giving yourself time to adjust. Big transitions feel less scary when you stop treating them like one giant life decision.
And missing middle school does not mean you are weak or immature. It just means something important to you is changing. That feeling is part of growing up, too. You do not have to rush into adulthood, Danny. You are still allowed to be a kid while learning how to handle new responsibilities one step at a time.
Best wishes!
What you’re feeling is honestly really normal, even if it feels overwhelming right now. A lot of students act excited about high school while secretly worrying about the exact same things: fitting in, harder classes, growing up too fast, losing old routines, and feeling pressure about the future.
The important thing to remember is that high school is not suddenly “adult life.” You are not expected to have your whole future figured out at 14. High school is still a place to learn, grow, make mistakes, meet people, discover interests, and slowly become more independent over time. Nobody wakes up on the first day suddenly mature and confident.
And honestly? Most freshmen are nervous, too, even the ones who look calm. Everyone is adjusting in some way. Within a few months, the school that feels huge and unfamiliar now will probably start feeling normal.
About careers, you truly do not need to decide that now. High school is where a lot of people start discovering what they enjoy. Your interests will probably change and grow over the next few years, and that is completely okay.
Try not to think about the next four years all at once. Focus on smaller things: meeting a few good people, staying on top of assignments, trying activities you enjoy, and giving yourself time to adjust. Big transitions feel less scary when you stop treating them like one giant life decision.
And missing middle school does not mean you are weak or immature. It just means something important to you is changing. That feeling is part of growing up, too. You do not have to rush into adulthood, Danny. You are still allowed to be a kid while learning how to handle new responsibilities one step at a time.
Best wishes!
Updated
Sunil’s Answer
High school is a wonderful time to enjoy with friends and family. Don't stress too much about your future career right now. Focus on where you are and what you're doing. Once you get into a good study routine, you'll naturally find your career path. I encourage you to concentrate on your studies first, and then gradually explore your strengths and weaknesses. This will help you choose the right career and set your goals. Best wishes on your high school journey!
Updated
Dawne’s Answer
Hi Danny,
Starting high school is a big step, but it doesn't mean you have to grow up overnight. It can feel scary, but it's an important part of growing up. When I started high school, I was nervous too. I was younger than most because I skipped some grades, and I was teased a lot. But soon, I made new friends, experienced exciting things like my first crush and school trips, and found classes I enjoyed. Over time, I gained confidence and discovered my strengths in studies, which helped me connect with others.
Now, I'm a Senior Director at a tech company, and I've learned that facing fears can lead to great things. Remember, everyone is a little afraid, even if they don't show it. Fear can be turned into ambition. Think of high school as a blank canvas for your story. You have the chance to create something amazing.
Keep being yourself and enjoy being a kid. You’ve got this, and you won’t regret it!
Starting high school is a big step, but it doesn't mean you have to grow up overnight. It can feel scary, but it's an important part of growing up. When I started high school, I was nervous too. I was younger than most because I skipped some grades, and I was teased a lot. But soon, I made new friends, experienced exciting things like my first crush and school trips, and found classes I enjoyed. Over time, I gained confidence and discovered my strengths in studies, which helped me connect with others.
Now, I'm a Senior Director at a tech company, and I've learned that facing fears can lead to great things. Remember, everyone is a little afraid, even if they don't show it. Fear can be turned into ambition. Think of high school as a blank canvas for your story. You have the chance to create something amazing.
Keep being yourself and enjoy being a kid. You’ve got this, and you won’t regret it!
Updated
Marcos’s Answer
Hey Danny - That's my brother's name!
I'm very sorry to hear that you're going through this. BUT! Please know, I have felt the same way during middle school, high school and even college! And by reading through the responses, many posters here have felt the same at one point in time. Truthfully, some days I also feel worried and scared about what is ahead of me, and what helps me in those times is talking to people I love, trust and know me as a person. Whether that be my parents, siblings, friends or aunts/uncles.
For now, take it one day at a time, high school can be challenging but very rewarding experience. Additionally, please try to talk to those that know you best about these fears and worries. Hope it all goes well.
I'm very sorry to hear that you're going through this. BUT! Please know, I have felt the same way during middle school, high school and even college! And by reading through the responses, many posters here have felt the same at one point in time. Truthfully, some days I also feel worried and scared about what is ahead of me, and what helps me in those times is talking to people I love, trust and know me as a person. Whether that be my parents, siblings, friends or aunts/uncles.
For now, take it one day at a time, high school can be challenging but very rewarding experience. Additionally, please try to talk to those that know you best about these fears and worries. Hope it all goes well.
Updated
Cecilia’s Answer
You remind me of my younger self, I would say focus on the things you can control. :)
Updated
Hongjin’s Answer
Hi Danny
It’s completely normal to worry about making friends, doing well in classes, or not knowing what career you want yet. A lot of people feel that way, even if they do not say it. High school is still a time for learning, growing, and figuring things out little by little.
You are not expected to act like an adult just because you’re getting older. You’re allowed to take your time, ask for help, and still be figuring yourself out. And even though change can be hard, it can also bring new people, new chances, and new things you might end up loving.
You do not need to rush growing up. Just take it one day at a time and be gentle with yourself.
It’s completely normal to worry about making friends, doing well in classes, or not knowing what career you want yet. A lot of people feel that way, even if they do not say it. High school is still a time for learning, growing, and figuring things out little by little.
You are not expected to act like an adult just because you’re getting older. You’re allowed to take your time, ask for help, and still be figuring yourself out. And even though change can be hard, it can also bring new people, new chances, and new things you might end up loving.
You do not need to rush growing up. Just take it one day at a time and be gentle with yourself.
Updated
Rebecca’s Answer
Thank you for your question. Your anxiety and worry is mainly due to the uncertainty of the change.
Below are my suggestions :
1. I am not sure you will stay in the same school when promoting to high school. If not, suggest you do school visit on the new high school to explore the new campus and environment.
2. Explore more information on the high school courses and structure
3. Speak to the teachers of the high school
4. Speak to the alumni and existing high school student
Everyone of us have gone through the same transition from middle school to high school. It may take some time to get use for the change. At the same time, you can make more new friends and have different fun.
Hope this helps! Good Luck!
May Almighty God bless you!
Below are my suggestions :
1. I am not sure you will stay in the same school when promoting to high school. If not, suggest you do school visit on the new high school to explore the new campus and environment.
2. Explore more information on the high school courses and structure
3. Speak to the teachers of the high school
4. Speak to the alumni and existing high school student
Everyone of us have gone through the same transition from middle school to high school. It may take some time to get use for the change. At the same time, you can make more new friends and have different fun.
Hope this helps! Good Luck!
May Almighty God bless you!
Updated
Carrie’s Answer
I feel you kid! I'm almost 50 (ugh) and some days I don't want to grow up either!
Middle school to high school is a huge transition for everyone, even the ones who pretend like they have it all under control. I know it is really hard advice to actually put into practice, but try not and put too much pressure on yourself! Give yourself time and grace. Your teachers have been through this before and understand that this is a brand new experience for you. Remember that every freshman around you is in the same situation. Some might be really good actors, but chances are they are laying in bed with the same thoughts running through their heads at night.
After the nervousness wears off I hope you find that there are so many wonderful opportunities to grow during this time. Beyond what you are learning in the classroom, high school is the time where you have a chance to find new interests, new perspectives, new friends and so much more. To echo another response, I encourage joining a sport, club, special interest group, student government, volunteer organization, etc.
Remember that you have four years in high school so you don't need to go in on day one ready to take on the world. I hope it will end up being a great time for you!
Middle school to high school is a huge transition for everyone, even the ones who pretend like they have it all under control. I know it is really hard advice to actually put into practice, but try not and put too much pressure on yourself! Give yourself time and grace. Your teachers have been through this before and understand that this is a brand new experience for you. Remember that every freshman around you is in the same situation. Some might be really good actors, but chances are they are laying in bed with the same thoughts running through their heads at night.
After the nervousness wears off I hope you find that there are so many wonderful opportunities to grow during this time. Beyond what you are learning in the classroom, high school is the time where you have a chance to find new interests, new perspectives, new friends and so much more. To echo another response, I encourage joining a sport, club, special interest group, student government, volunteer organization, etc.
Remember that you have four years in high school so you don't need to go in on day one ready to take on the world. I hope it will end up being a great time for you!
Updated
Ryan’s Answer
As you grow up, you'll notice that life keeps getting more serious, whether you're in high school, college, or starting your first job. It's normal to feel like you need to mature, but try not to stress too much. Take things one step at a time. It's okay to have fears and worries, but don't let them take over. Making mistakes is part of learning, and it's fine as long as you learn from them. Nobody is perfect, and everyone faces challenges in life.
When you're moving from middle school to high school, there's no rush to become an adult. Even after college and starting a job, you might not feel fully grown-up, and that's okay. Everyone grows at their own pace, and many people don't have everything figured out right away. It takes time to become who you want to be.
Enjoy your time as a kid or teen. If you're worried, just work hard and stay focused. Growing up can be tough, but there are also many good things about it. It's all about finding a balance between being responsible and having fun.
When you're moving from middle school to high school, there's no rush to become an adult. Even after college and starting a job, you might not feel fully grown-up, and that's okay. Everyone grows at their own pace, and many people don't have everything figured out right away. It takes time to become who you want to be.
Enjoy your time as a kid or teen. If you're worried, just work hard and stay focused. Growing up can be tough, but there are also many good things about it. It's all about finding a balance between being responsible and having fun.
Updated
Crystal’s Answer
Hi Danny,
High school will be easier than you think. Just take it one step and one class at a time. There's no need to worry. While your career is important, you have lots of time to decide on it. Many people figure it out well after high school, and that's perfectly fine. You have plenty of time. Aim for good grades to get scholarships for college, and take things day by day. Remember, you're young and have years to decide on your career path. Your interests might even change by senior year. Focus on the present and don't stress about the future. Enjoy your high school journey and have fun. There's no rush to think about adult life now. Best wishes on your high school adventure!
High school will be easier than you think. Just take it one step and one class at a time. There's no need to worry. While your career is important, you have lots of time to decide on it. Many people figure it out well after high school, and that's perfectly fine. You have plenty of time. Aim for good grades to get scholarships for college, and take things day by day. Remember, you're young and have years to decide on your career path. Your interests might even change by senior year. Focus on the present and don't stress about the future. Enjoy your high school journey and have fun. There's no rush to think about adult life now. Best wishes on your high school adventure!
Updated
Mary’s Answer
I remember feeling the exact same way. Change is tough and High School is a big step. However, you are not alone! All of your peers in 8th grade are probably feeling the exact same way, whether they are sharing it or not. My advice to you is to use High School as an opportunity to explore. Explore classes, topics, groups, teams and find out what you like and what you don't. No one is expecting you to make career decisions in High School. This time is supposed to be about learning and exploring and putting forth your best effort to do this. Take risks, meet new people and take advantage of all of the opportunities that High School can provide. I would also encourage you to establish a strong relationship with your guidance counselor when you start. Their job is help you navigate all of the complexities High School can appear to have.
Take a deep breath and get excited. It is going to be 4 of the best years of your life! Make it great and good luck to you!
Take a deep breath and get excited. It is going to be 4 of the best years of your life! Make it great and good luck to you!
Updated
TRAVIS’s Answer
Join some clubs or sports when you enter high school and you will have a peer group to associate with and you will be down with high school before you know it. You will do well, everyone else is nervous too when they first start. Dont be intimidated by upper class students. Some might be your best friends before they graduate. You will do well.
Updated
Liam’s Answer
When you get there you will see, its not that bad. Its hard for anyone to explain it either online or in person, but when you get there you will see!
You do not have to act like an adult when you get there. Most adults that made their way through high school don't act like adults now (please include myself in that group!). You will start to get more freedom and have less supervision, like an adult would. This is your time to shine! High school is really about taking some time to get skills so when you are in full adult mode, you are able to thrive. Whatever you need to do in order to get those skills, do it! If its study hard and get the best grades, do it! If its do OK with grades but hold a job while you do school, then do it! If it's network with people in clubs and be social to find your group, do it! If its create a quiet space for yourself so you can focus on yourself and the things you love to do, then you can do that too! You can do all of those things as well, you don't have to choose one, just make sure you are adding skills to yourself so you can make the best use of your time and efforts.
When you are in elementary school and middle school, you are expected to follow a rigid path. You are in the same classes as everyone else, you do everything in a place at a specific time, and you answer to the same five people day in and day out. You are a little bit younger so you need this structure. When you hit high school, you don't need that exact structure the whole time. You might have your five teachers, a club, a job, a group of friends, and some other people you know. You might have a class two days of the week and its different students, the class may be in a different building as well. You might be working a job somewhere and have friends there and just keep to yourself at school. I'm making scenarios up now because this is more like what a high school or college student experiences.
Don't worry to heavily about your social life because it will fill itself in naturally. Make relationships with people you want to be around and you don't have to change who you are when you are around them. Don't worry about titled friendships and relationships with people. This can sometimes take more effort than you need to spend and just being a genuine person really means more than a titled friendship. Having the ability to move around and do more for yourself will have you not locked into seeing the same people over and over.
When you find your time, make the most out of that time. This could be anything from a five minute gap between classes where you are the only one in the hall or it could be several hours on a Friday or Saturday where you caught yourself up for the week. Whatever it is, acknowledge that time is new and make it your time. When you finally figure out it is that time, just one time, think about everyone's responses to your question here and realize you made your next step and it may have been scary, but it is better.
You do not have to act like an adult when you get there. Most adults that made their way through high school don't act like adults now (please include myself in that group!). You will start to get more freedom and have less supervision, like an adult would. This is your time to shine! High school is really about taking some time to get skills so when you are in full adult mode, you are able to thrive. Whatever you need to do in order to get those skills, do it! If its study hard and get the best grades, do it! If its do OK with grades but hold a job while you do school, then do it! If it's network with people in clubs and be social to find your group, do it! If its create a quiet space for yourself so you can focus on yourself and the things you love to do, then you can do that too! You can do all of those things as well, you don't have to choose one, just make sure you are adding skills to yourself so you can make the best use of your time and efforts.
When you are in elementary school and middle school, you are expected to follow a rigid path. You are in the same classes as everyone else, you do everything in a place at a specific time, and you answer to the same five people day in and day out. You are a little bit younger so you need this structure. When you hit high school, you don't need that exact structure the whole time. You might have your five teachers, a club, a job, a group of friends, and some other people you know. You might have a class two days of the week and its different students, the class may be in a different building as well. You might be working a job somewhere and have friends there and just keep to yourself at school. I'm making scenarios up now because this is more like what a high school or college student experiences.
Don't worry to heavily about your social life because it will fill itself in naturally. Make relationships with people you want to be around and you don't have to change who you are when you are around them. Don't worry about titled friendships and relationships with people. This can sometimes take more effort than you need to spend and just being a genuine person really means more than a titled friendship. Having the ability to move around and do more for yourself will have you not locked into seeing the same people over and over.
When you find your time, make the most out of that time. This could be anything from a five minute gap between classes where you are the only one in the hall or it could be several hours on a Friday or Saturday where you caught yourself up for the week. Whatever it is, acknowledge that time is new and make it your time. When you finally figure out it is that time, just one time, think about everyone's responses to your question here and realize you made your next step and it may have been scary, but it is better.