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How to live in an on campus university dorm with a stranger if I'm shy and I am from another hometown I am currently from Puerto Rico and at Fall I am going to West Palm Beach to pursue an accounting career while playing volleyball. I am shy and I have never stayed overnight away from home, neither share my dormroom; so i need advise to manage any anxiety and learn how to share my space.?

I am currently from Puerto Rico and at Fall I am going to West Palm Beach to pursue an accounting career while playing volleyball. I am shy and I have never stayed overnight away from home, neither share my dormroom. So I need advise to manage any anxiety and learn how to share my space.

How to live in an on campus university dorm with other if I'm shy and I am from another hometown?


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Patrick’s Answer

I know when I talked to my sons about going to college several years ago, I always said that starting college far from home can feel overwhelming, especially when it’s your first time living away from your family and sharing a space with someone new. I remember when my oldest went half way across the country to go to college, it was hard for us. But, as someone from Puerto Rico moving to West Palm Beach to study accounting and play volleyball, you’re already taking a big and brave step. It’s completely normal to feel shy or anxious about this new experience, but with time, patience, and a few simple strategies, you’ll learn to manage these feelings and adjust to dorm life successfully.

Here is some things I said to my sons. First, remember that you’re not alone. Many students are in the same situation. Living with someone they don’t know, in a new environment, possibly for the first time. Start with small steps. You don’t need to become best friends with your roommate right away. A simple introduction, a smile, and some small talk about your classes or volleyball can go a long way in building trust and comfort. You might try and see who your roommate is going to be and strike up a conversation via text or facetime. That way you at least see who it is and maybe ask what their likes and/or dislikes are. Be open about your needs and respectful of theirs. Setting clear boundaries early, like discussing quiet hours, sharing items, and cleaning routines. These things can help prevent misunderstandings and make the space feel more comfortable for both of you.

Also remember there a lot of people that are not from the city your college is located and a ton of international students so connecting with one of them might help. To manage anxiety, create routines that give you a sense of control. Try to keep your dorm tidy, take walks around campus to get familiar with your surroundings, and set aside time for things that help you relax, like music, journaling, or calling home. Getting involved with activities, like your volleyball team or a campus club, can help you slowly come out of your shell while meeting people who share your interests.
Most importantly, be kind to yourself. It's okay to feel homesick or nervous at first. With time, what feels unfamiliar now will become part of your new normal. Trust that you’re capable of adjusting and growing, because you are. This is the beginning of an exciting journey, and you don’t have to rush. Just take it one day at a time.
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Rachel’s Answer

Thank you for your vunerability, first of all Liani!

Transitioning to University is a new and often overwhelming experience for all. Your self-awareness will take you far as you enter this season!

Living in a dorm with a new roommate can be challenging when socially, you find yourself more reserved. Many universities allow you to make requests based on your personality to help match you with a roommate that has compatible lifestyle and preferences to you.

I would highly recommend sitting down and writing out your "non-negotiables" when it comes to living: having guests staying the night in your room, complying with general dorm policies, cleanliness, privacy, locking your room, 'lights out' times, sharing fridge space if applicable are all spaces to start.

Once you know your roommate, I think communicate early and often is the best principle here. Be up front and transparent about your excitements and also any concerns you have about this new season of life, and encourage them to do the same. Maybe make some general roommate agreements.

Ultimately, it is important to communicate and also use the resources around you to best set yourself up for success. Good luck!
Thank you comment icon Thank you, very much. I am going to make a list and try to conect with my roommate before fall. Liani
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