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Emma
Student
Westminster, Maryland
1
Question
Updated
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How do you handle the emotional challenges of nursing while dealing with an immediate family member on hospice care? #Spring25
I'll be starting my BSN program this fall and I had difficulty completing my geriatric rotations over the winter after finding out my grandfather was in end stage heart failure. I want to make sure I can cope with my own emotions while effectively helping patients.
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1 answer
Christine R.
Registered Nurse
25
Answers
Washington, Washington
Updated
Christine’s Answer
First off, just know its ok to be human and feel. That's why many of us went into nursing. There are situations you will encounter as a nurse that are just hard, and circumstances for a variety of reasons that are just incredibly and almost unfair to see someone suffering when dealing with an illness. But what you have to remember is that you are there to care for that person and in those moments where you might be interacting with a patient or their loved ones that needs to be your priority and focus. Sometimes you just have to compartmentalize your emotions for a bit to just do what you need to do for that patient. Yes its hard seeing sick people and when you have a loved on you are close to who is dealing with their own illness its hard to not think of the person you care for about dearly but keep in mind your patient is not your loved one, its best not to transfer the emotions you might be feeling about a sick family member onto your patient. Its not fair to your patient.
Now all of that said, I'll draw from two people I cared for that brought me to tears and I still remember many years later. The first one was when I was in nursing school, it was during a time when people were still dying from AIDS as during those times there really wasn't great antiviral treatments. I was taking care of a patient at a local hospital and their health had been declining during my time at that particular clinical rotation. Eventually the patient died from AIDS complications. It was the first patient death I had dealt with and I ended up crying in private when I found out that patient had died.
The second instance came a few years later as a younger nurse I was working at a hospital and I was on a medical floor, we were getting a transfer from one of the monitored units, as the person had very late stage cancer and was very close to death. Generally at the time if a patient was on a medication to keep their blood pressure up they had to go to a monitored floor but an exception was made in this case given this patient was terminal. The family had asked to keep the patient on the medication so other family members and friends could come to say their last goodbyes. The patient wasn't too much older than me so it hit home. Once everyone said their goodbyes I was asked to turn off this IV drip. I left the family alone and they let me know when they thought their loved one had passed. The whole situation was so sad and seemed so unfair. After the family had left and I had the folks come to evaluate if this person had donatable organs (they were an organ donor). I had to get the person's body prepared for transport to the morgue. After all of that was done I took a few moments in the supply room where I could have a brief cry. It was just so sad to see someone's life cut short as they had such a long life ahead of them.
Don't lose your humanity but don't project your own personal stuff onto your patients, they need your full presence. You have time to be sad and process later.
P.S. I'm sorry to hear about your grandfather's declining health.
Now all of that said, I'll draw from two people I cared for that brought me to tears and I still remember many years later. The first one was when I was in nursing school, it was during a time when people were still dying from AIDS as during those times there really wasn't great antiviral treatments. I was taking care of a patient at a local hospital and their health had been declining during my time at that particular clinical rotation. Eventually the patient died from AIDS complications. It was the first patient death I had dealt with and I ended up crying in private when I found out that patient had died.
The second instance came a few years later as a younger nurse I was working at a hospital and I was on a medical floor, we were getting a transfer from one of the monitored units, as the person had very late stage cancer and was very close to death. Generally at the time if a patient was on a medication to keep their blood pressure up they had to go to a monitored floor but an exception was made in this case given this patient was terminal. The family had asked to keep the patient on the medication so other family members and friends could come to say their last goodbyes. The patient wasn't too much older than me so it hit home. Once everyone said their goodbyes I was asked to turn off this IV drip. I left the family alone and they let me know when they thought their loved one had passed. The whole situation was so sad and seemed so unfair. After the family had left and I had the folks come to evaluate if this person had donatable organs (they were an organ donor). I had to get the person's body prepared for transport to the morgue. After all of that was done I took a few moments in the supply room where I could have a brief cry. It was just so sad to see someone's life cut short as they had such a long life ahead of them.
Don't lose your humanity but don't project your own personal stuff onto your patients, they need your full presence. You have time to be sad and process later.
P.S. I'm sorry to hear about your grandfather's declining health.
Thank you so much for sharing your professional insights and some of your personal experiences. I really appreciate it!
Emma