3 answers
Nicolas
Student
Las Vegas, Nevada
1
Question
Updated
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How can I grow into my own person while remaining at home to care for my family? #Spring25
Last year, my father passed away, and I became the primary caregiver for my disabled mother. This responsibility required me to spend much more time at home to support her. As I begin my studies at the University of Florida, I will be living off campus with my mother so that I can continue to care for her. At the same time, I am committed to ensuring that I grow into my own person and fully engage in the college experience while balancing my responsibilities at home.
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3 answers
Malak Chabkoun
Training and Development
2
Answers
Houston, Texas
Updated
Malak’s Answer
Hello Nicolas. First, my condolences on the passing of your father. And it's truly amazing of you to have stepped up to be the caregiver for your mother. That speaks volumes about your character.
As for your question, I too lived off campus for my undergrad years. I did not find that to be a barrier to engaging in the college experience; however, my engagement was probably a bit different than people who lived on campus. I got involved in different activities, such as the college newspaper, and kept an eye on campus events that would be happening while I was there for classes.
As you mentioned, it's about balance: be strategic about planning your class schedule. For example, I would try to ensure my classes were all on Tuesdays and Thursdays whenever possible. That way, I knew ahead of time when I would be there for classes and could look out for campus events or study groups that run on the same days. Find out when your professors are holding office hours--those are often an opportunity to stop by and get more insight from your professors, as well as ask about ways to get involved in campus activities that will also help you with advancing in your major.
Finally, I want you to make sure to take care of you too. Being a caregiver is a lot of work, and I hope that you have a support system that can help you and your mom. Ask for help when you need it.
As for your question, I too lived off campus for my undergrad years. I did not find that to be a barrier to engaging in the college experience; however, my engagement was probably a bit different than people who lived on campus. I got involved in different activities, such as the college newspaper, and kept an eye on campus events that would be happening while I was there for classes.
As you mentioned, it's about balance: be strategic about planning your class schedule. For example, I would try to ensure my classes were all on Tuesdays and Thursdays whenever possible. That way, I knew ahead of time when I would be there for classes and could look out for campus events or study groups that run on the same days. Find out when your professors are holding office hours--those are often an opportunity to stop by and get more insight from your professors, as well as ask about ways to get involved in campus activities that will also help you with advancing in your major.
Finally, I want you to make sure to take care of you too. Being a caregiver is a lot of work, and I hope that you have a support system that can help you and your mom. Ask for help when you need it.
Martha Kramer
Corporate Training, Communications
437
Answers
Stamford, Connecticut
Updated
Martha’s Answer
Hi Nicolas - I want to reiterate Malak's praise for your character. Your commitment to your mother is heartwarming. I further agree with Malak's advice, especially around taking care of yourself. That means eating nutritious food, getting rest and exercise, and managing stress as best as you can.
I wonder if there are resources either through the university, the local or state government, or your health insurance that could help you. One possible resource is linked below, but I am sure there are more. Even having someone a few hours a week could give you breathing room and a chance to strengthen relationships from class or activities.
Lastly, another potential way to look at your situation. We all grow into our own people from the people we meet and the experiences we have. From age 9 to adulthood, I helped care for an uncle partially paralyzed by a stroke. That experience taught me so much as about resilience, tenacity, grace, gratitude, courage, loyalty and so much more. Yes, it kept me from some activities I would have liked, but it didn't stop me from growing into adult me.
Good luck to you and your mother!
Caregiver Resources - https://www.talgov.com/seniors/neighborhoodsites
I wonder if there are resources either through the university, the local or state government, or your health insurance that could help you. One possible resource is linked below, but I am sure there are more. Even having someone a few hours a week could give you breathing room and a chance to strengthen relationships from class or activities.
Lastly, another potential way to look at your situation. We all grow into our own people from the people we meet and the experiences we have. From age 9 to adulthood, I helped care for an uncle partially paralyzed by a stroke. That experience taught me so much as about resilience, tenacity, grace, gratitude, courage, loyalty and so much more. Yes, it kept me from some activities I would have liked, but it didn't stop me from growing into adult me.
Good luck to you and your mother!
Martha recommends the following next steps:
Dr. Harmony Mark-Ewa, PhD
Educator, Mentor, Administrator
8
Answers
Uyo, Akwa Ibom, Nigeria
Updated
Dr. Harmony’s Answer
Hello Nicolas,
Your question reminds me of my life journey; I cared for my sick mum right from my secondary school days(I did this while attending extra lessons and preparing for external exams) up to my MSc period(coursework to exams) before she translated. Currently, I am also rendering care and support to someone while pursuing my dreams and working remotely. Below are some of the tips I have utilised in this journey of balancing caregiving and personal growth.
To grow into your own person while caring for your mother, consider:
Time Management
1. Create a schedule: Balance caregiving responsibilities with academic and personal activities. Be disciplined with this arrangement, your time runs faster now.
2. Prioritize self-care: Make time for activities that nourish your mind, body, and spirit. The least 5 -10 minutes alone with your thoughts can give you the ideas you need to push forward.
Personal Development
1. Pursue interests: Engage in hobbies or activities that bring you joy and fulfilment.
2. Seek support: Connect with friends, family, or support groups to share experiences and receive emotional support. Don't keep quiet; seek help when needed; you can't do this alone.
Independence within Caregiving
1. Set boundaries: Establish clear expectations for your caregiving role and personal time. This will create a balance and give you a sense of purpose.
2. Communicate needs: Express your needs and feelings to your mother and other family members. Make them understand you and also prioritise your feelings
University Resources
1. Disability services: Utilize resources for students with caregiving responsibilities or disabilities. This will expand your scope and usher you into new perspectives that will help your role and personal development.
2. Counselling services: Access counselling to manage stress and emotions related to caregiving. You will be more relaxed and confident with this practice.
By finding this balance, you can nurture your personal growth while caring for your mother.
Thank you!
Your question reminds me of my life journey; I cared for my sick mum right from my secondary school days(I did this while attending extra lessons and preparing for external exams) up to my MSc period(coursework to exams) before she translated. Currently, I am also rendering care and support to someone while pursuing my dreams and working remotely. Below are some of the tips I have utilised in this journey of balancing caregiving and personal growth.
To grow into your own person while caring for your mother, consider:
Time Management
1. Create a schedule: Balance caregiving responsibilities with academic and personal activities. Be disciplined with this arrangement, your time runs faster now.
2. Prioritize self-care: Make time for activities that nourish your mind, body, and spirit. The least 5 -10 minutes alone with your thoughts can give you the ideas you need to push forward.
Personal Development
1. Pursue interests: Engage in hobbies or activities that bring you joy and fulfilment.
2. Seek support: Connect with friends, family, or support groups to share experiences and receive emotional support. Don't keep quiet; seek help when needed; you can't do this alone.
Independence within Caregiving
1. Set boundaries: Establish clear expectations for your caregiving role and personal time. This will create a balance and give you a sense of purpose.
2. Communicate needs: Express your needs and feelings to your mother and other family members. Make them understand you and also prioritise your feelings
University Resources
1. Disability services: Utilize resources for students with caregiving responsibilities or disabilities. This will expand your scope and usher you into new perspectives that will help your role and personal development.
2. Counselling services: Access counselling to manage stress and emotions related to caregiving. You will be more relaxed and confident with this practice.
By finding this balance, you can nurture your personal growth while caring for your mother.
Thank you!