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Palo Alto, California
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How do you balance giving someone guidance while still letting them learn through experience ?
How do you balance giving someone guidance while still letting them learn through experience?
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9 answers
Karen Kitchel
Community Volunteer
431
Answers
Saint Paul, Minnesota
Updated
Karen’s Answer
What a great question and good for you to ask it. I try to use a lot of positive reinforcement. Look for things that someone is doing well and let them know you observed it. You can add comments like "If you want to make it even better, you might consider xxxxxxxxx. Or you can ask folks "would you like my thoughts on how you can do this" or "you've got a great start, maybe you could xxxxxxx. Try to end with a positive comment about improvement they have made or the effort they are making.
With every good wish and many blessings.
With every good wish and many blessings.
Shannon Zulauf
Risk & Independence
46
Answers
Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Updated
Shannon’s Answer
This is a really great question, and you’ll find that people have many different perspectives on what works best in a coaching relationship. Ultimately, it often comes down to what the coachee is looking for and the type of support that works best for them.
While many people today are looking for very specific, step-by-step guidance to success, it’s not always that straightforward. We all have a lot going on, so it’s natural to want clear direction. That said, I’ve found that coaching is often most effective when it’s less prescriptive.
In my experience, sharing a glimpse into my own story, offering a few possible ideas for next steps, and then asking thoughtful questions about how the coachee is currently thinking allows them to identify their own next steps—ones that make sense for them in that moment.
That approach builds confidence, ownership, and growth in a way that a rigid roadmap often can’t.
While many people today are looking for very specific, step-by-step guidance to success, it’s not always that straightforward. We all have a lot going on, so it’s natural to want clear direction. That said, I’ve found that coaching is often most effective when it’s less prescriptive.
In my experience, sharing a glimpse into my own story, offering a few possible ideas for next steps, and then asking thoughtful questions about how the coachee is currently thinking allows them to identify their own next steps—ones that make sense for them in that moment.
That approach builds confidence, ownership, and growth in a way that a rigid roadmap often can’t.
Michelle M.
Actress
3284
Answers
Updated
Michelle’s Answer
Hello, CVOH !
This is an outstanding question that is important in any field of work !
In social Service Case Management, for which I once worked in as a transition career, the approach is that the clients need to be well informed but they're free to do what they want. Some will choose options that have no or few consequences and some will make choices that add trouble to their already troubled life. Because case management is not dictated to the client, the client is free to live their life as they will and the case manager is limited to what information and suggestions they can make due to guidelines from whomever is funding the service.
Within the guidelines of what case managers can do, the approach is initially to be supportive, and know how to listen critically so that you can decipher what the client really needs. There are also situations in which a client will purposely be inaccurate with their situation in hopes that the case manager will do what the client wants when the client doesn't qualify for what they're asking. Most clients appreciate the information and make good choices but clients who try to deceive usually come back for help getting out of those situations. They are free to do what they want and one must accept that as a case manager while staying within the ethics and guidelines of your service.
It's a field of work where there is a lot of failure. It's a given. You try to avert the failure but it's not up to you as their case manager. Many failures I have seen where in the realm of healing their mental health, keeping their housing and successful drug rehabilitation although there were some success stories, too. Just proof that this field of work is unpredictable so it should be approached with no expectations, only creating a sense of trust, being well focused on the client's real needs and meeting them where they're at each step of the way.
Each client is different, so there was really no special technique I used except being very client centered and individualized initial engagement interviewing to see what their needs were. This work depends on the client being self-directed and sometimes they can be and sometimes they are not able to be. As a case manager, it's easy to give guidance but one must accept that all people learn through experience and some clients don't even mind having one bad experience after another. Everyone changes in their own time when they are ready. If, as a case manager, one can accept that as a general reality, one can be a good case manager and follow the progress or decline of their clients effectively.
So this is really an interesting and pertinent topic in the case management field and all case managers have their own experiences and own approaches with their clients. I always just helped in the moment and tried not to trigger the client and even sometimes that doesn't have a positive outcome, especially with chronic, severe mental illness cases. You also have to realize that you can do what you can do but it may not help people the way you think it should. These are just things that are part of the work and the most important thing is that the clients have a choice and that they are made completely informed about issues or things they want.
For the career in Acting, it's in the moment - you would be expected to already have learned the field of work and when a Director tells you to do something, you do it. This type of work is super structured and exact, so there's no room for any more "learning through experience". Good actors have the life experience already to create and perform a specific character. As an actor, one has a strong sense of not making mistakes and a good director is most helpful with that.
This is an outstanding question that is important in any field of work !
In social Service Case Management, for which I once worked in as a transition career, the approach is that the clients need to be well informed but they're free to do what they want. Some will choose options that have no or few consequences and some will make choices that add trouble to their already troubled life. Because case management is not dictated to the client, the client is free to live their life as they will and the case manager is limited to what information and suggestions they can make due to guidelines from whomever is funding the service.
Within the guidelines of what case managers can do, the approach is initially to be supportive, and know how to listen critically so that you can decipher what the client really needs. There are also situations in which a client will purposely be inaccurate with their situation in hopes that the case manager will do what the client wants when the client doesn't qualify for what they're asking. Most clients appreciate the information and make good choices but clients who try to deceive usually come back for help getting out of those situations. They are free to do what they want and one must accept that as a case manager while staying within the ethics and guidelines of your service.
It's a field of work where there is a lot of failure. It's a given. You try to avert the failure but it's not up to you as their case manager. Many failures I have seen where in the realm of healing their mental health, keeping their housing and successful drug rehabilitation although there were some success stories, too. Just proof that this field of work is unpredictable so it should be approached with no expectations, only creating a sense of trust, being well focused on the client's real needs and meeting them where they're at each step of the way.
Each client is different, so there was really no special technique I used except being very client centered and individualized initial engagement interviewing to see what their needs were. This work depends on the client being self-directed and sometimes they can be and sometimes they are not able to be. As a case manager, it's easy to give guidance but one must accept that all people learn through experience and some clients don't even mind having one bad experience after another. Everyone changes in their own time when they are ready. If, as a case manager, one can accept that as a general reality, one can be a good case manager and follow the progress or decline of their clients effectively.
So this is really an interesting and pertinent topic in the case management field and all case managers have their own experiences and own approaches with their clients. I always just helped in the moment and tried not to trigger the client and even sometimes that doesn't have a positive outcome, especially with chronic, severe mental illness cases. You also have to realize that you can do what you can do but it may not help people the way you think it should. These are just things that are part of the work and the most important thing is that the clients have a choice and that they are made completely informed about issues or things they want.
For the career in Acting, it's in the moment - you would be expected to already have learned the field of work and when a Director tells you to do something, you do it. This type of work is super structured and exact, so there's no room for any more "learning through experience". Good actors have the life experience already to create and perform a specific character. As an actor, one has a strong sense of not making mistakes and a good director is most helpful with that.
Jessica Lanham
Training/Instructional Design
13
Answers
Tampa, Florida
Updated
Jessica’s Answer
Balancing guidance with experiential learning means offering just enough structure to set learners up for success, while allowing space for exploration and mistakes. Start by clearly outlining expectations, then step back and let them try. Use questions to prompt reflection instead of giving direct answers, and gradually reduce support as confidence grows. This approach builds autonomy while still ensuring meaningful learning.
Desiree Juby
Training and Development
15
Answers
Charlotte, North Carolina
Updated
Desiree’s Answer
Hello,
In my role in learning & development, we often facilitate learning and developing new skills. One way I encourage development is to let people fail. People will remember what went wrong and how the corrected or fixed what went wrong much more so than having someone tell them what to do. I also believe in the coaching model, Situational Leadership. It helps to guide the amount of direction and/or support someone needs as they are developing skills completing tasks and functions. The coach or person providing guidance needs to be flexible to what the individual needs as they develop.
In my role in learning & development, we often facilitate learning and developing new skills. One way I encourage development is to let people fail. People will remember what went wrong and how the corrected or fixed what went wrong much more so than having someone tell them what to do. I also believe in the coaching model, Situational Leadership. It helps to guide the amount of direction and/or support someone needs as they are developing skills completing tasks and functions. The coach or person providing guidance needs to be flexible to what the individual needs as they develop.
Jim Chua
1
Answer
Singapore
Updated
Jim’s Answer
Hi, I hope you are doing well.
This is a great question which I am also still learning despite being in the workforce for more than 20 years.
There really is no perfect answer to this but I think what is equally important is identifying the why and providing the feedback in an honest and open manner to the individual before taking the next step of providing advice/ guidance. Or as you say, let them learn from experience. Creating clarity on how things can be done better and in a different way can help the individual understand what it means for them if they implement changes.
Another key element of helping another person is to be clear of the intent and the outcome which you want to see. It helps to make clear of the intent and outcome which you would like to see to the individual, if possible.
When it comes to the "how", there really is no perfect answer, in my honest opinion. It depends on yourself, your bandwidth, the other individual, your relationship with the person and a million and one other variables. It could even be a hybrid approach of mixing detailed guidance with "self-experience". Which is why you probably need to ask yourself a few more questions as I have tried to give some colour to above before deciding the best approach to move forward.
Lastly, I think it is an admirable question because it centers around helping another person and really do believe having good intentions and communicating them makes the most difference in the helping another.
Thanks,
Jim
This is a great question which I am also still learning despite being in the workforce for more than 20 years.
There really is no perfect answer to this but I think what is equally important is identifying the why and providing the feedback in an honest and open manner to the individual before taking the next step of providing advice/ guidance. Or as you say, let them learn from experience. Creating clarity on how things can be done better and in a different way can help the individual understand what it means for them if they implement changes.
Another key element of helping another person is to be clear of the intent and the outcome which you want to see. It helps to make clear of the intent and outcome which you would like to see to the individual, if possible.
When it comes to the "how", there really is no perfect answer, in my honest opinion. It depends on yourself, your bandwidth, the other individual, your relationship with the person and a million and one other variables. It could even be a hybrid approach of mixing detailed guidance with "self-experience". Which is why you probably need to ask yourself a few more questions as I have tried to give some colour to above before deciding the best approach to move forward.
Lastly, I think it is an admirable question because it centers around helping another person and really do believe having good intentions and communicating them makes the most difference in the helping another.
Thanks,
Jim
Jordan Lanham
Sales Consultant for Insurance
8
Answers
Tampa, Florida
Updated
Jordan’s Answer
To guide someone while allowing them to learn through experience, start by highlighting their strengths and successes. Focus on what they do well before discussing areas for improvement. Use positive reinforcement and find ways to build on their strengths, rather than just pointing out what needs to change. Begin with positive feedback and end on a positive note after offering suggestions for improvement.
Share examples of what has worked well in similar situations to give them new perspectives. If possible, provide real-world examples that can inspire them and help them learn and grow.
Share examples of what has worked well in similar situations to give them new perspectives. If possible, provide real-world examples that can inspire them and help them learn and grow.
Virginia Lezama
3
Answers
Seattle, Washington
Updated
Virginia’s Answer
Balancing guidance with letting someone learn through experience is all about knowing when to step in and when to step back. I think of it like being a coach rather than a director. You’re there to support, not to script their journey. I usually start by understanding what the person already knows and what they’re trying to achieve. Then I offer just enough direction to help them avoid major pitfalls, while leaving room for them to explore, and reflect.
I try to offer frameworks or questions that help someone think through a situation, rather than giving them all the answers. For example, instead of saying 'do this,' I might ask, 'what options are you considering, and what are the pros and cons of each?' One technique I use is asking open-ended questions like, 'What do you think your options are?' or 'What would success look like to you?' This encourages reflection and ownership.
Experience is a powerful teacher, but having someone to help interpret those experiences can make the learning even richer. I think people can grow not just from the outcome, but from the process of figuring things out.
I try to offer frameworks or questions that help someone think through a situation, rather than giving them all the answers. For example, instead of saying 'do this,' I might ask, 'what options are you considering, and what are the pros and cons of each?' One technique I use is asking open-ended questions like, 'What do you think your options are?' or 'What would success look like to you?' This encourages reflection and ownership.
Experience is a powerful teacher, but having someone to help interpret those experiences can make the learning even richer. I think people can grow not just from the outcome, but from the process of figuring things out.
James Constantine Frangos
SOFTWARE ENGINEER SINCE 1972; NUTRITIONIST SINCE 1976.
7094
Answers
Gold Coast, Queensland, Australia
Updated
James Constantine’s Answer
Good Day CVOH!
ESTABLISH LIMITS TO EXPECTED BEHAVIOR
Delineate what is acceptable, and what is not acceptable. Outline the repercussions of continued bad behavior. It sounds terrible, but continued consumption of 20 sweet biscuits at one sitting in a diabetic could result in amputation.
PRESERVE CLIENT LIBERTY
There is an old saying, 'caveat emptor.' Let the Buyer beware [of the consequences]! How so? Advice is a form of communication! A decision to buy a product, or adopt advice, even messages, is part of a complex risk-benefit analysis of outcomes.
APPROPRIATE MESSAGES
Professionals must supply, comprehension level and culturally-appropriate information to recipients! Personal liberty must be preserved, so long as an individual is not a danger to themselves or others. A person otherwise, is free to choose what strategies shall be of maximum benefit to them, and the people that surround them.
THOUSANDS OF MEAL PLANS
Much of my work as a dietitian-nutritionist involved Indigenous Tribal individuals in the outback of three Australian states. New South Wales, Western Australia, and Queensland. There were cultural groups in remote outposts with the low-English comprehension of a grade 5 schoolchild. That is when picture-stories are used, which included native languages that were necessary to aid comprehension. For instance, 'Kumbu' was the patient's urine, which had sugar in it with the diabetic condition. The patient would often arrive with a letter from the treating medical officer, describing their condition. So, you had to translate the treating doctor's letter of referral into the patient's level of English comprehension.
PATIENCE WITH YOUR PATIENTS
Be patient with your client's progress, giving them positive reinforcement regarding their achievements. Another strategy is to give them a report on their trajectory! [How they are going so far!] For example, if you are doing Career Counseling ... if they are going to get a GPA [Grade Point Average] of 5.0, in the top 1% of academics assessed. Then the student can get into a school like Harvard! That shall affect their earning capacity tenfold! Money is a good incentivizer! Mentioning desirable outcomes is a great method to promote compliance!
NEGATIVISM
No-one likes a 'nagger,' in attempting behavior modification. They also do not like a 'heavy' that tells them they must comply - or else! Do not focus much on the possible negative effects if they are non-compliant! Scare-tactics only work until they want a 'naughty food.' A medical officer in the Queensland outback said that "no one complies with a diet anyway!" Well, I had enough patients comply, to reverse diabetes in six patients!
GOD BLESS!
ESTABLISH LIMITS TO EXPECTED BEHAVIOR
Delineate what is acceptable, and what is not acceptable. Outline the repercussions of continued bad behavior. It sounds terrible, but continued consumption of 20 sweet biscuits at one sitting in a diabetic could result in amputation.
PRESERVE CLIENT LIBERTY
There is an old saying, 'caveat emptor.' Let the Buyer beware [of the consequences]! How so? Advice is a form of communication! A decision to buy a product, or adopt advice, even messages, is part of a complex risk-benefit analysis of outcomes.
APPROPRIATE MESSAGES
Professionals must supply, comprehension level and culturally-appropriate information to recipients! Personal liberty must be preserved, so long as an individual is not a danger to themselves or others. A person otherwise, is free to choose what strategies shall be of maximum benefit to them, and the people that surround them.
THOUSANDS OF MEAL PLANS
Much of my work as a dietitian-nutritionist involved Indigenous Tribal individuals in the outback of three Australian states. New South Wales, Western Australia, and Queensland. There were cultural groups in remote outposts with the low-English comprehension of a grade 5 schoolchild. That is when picture-stories are used, which included native languages that were necessary to aid comprehension. For instance, 'Kumbu' was the patient's urine, which had sugar in it with the diabetic condition. The patient would often arrive with a letter from the treating medical officer, describing their condition. So, you had to translate the treating doctor's letter of referral into the patient's level of English comprehension.
PATIENCE WITH YOUR PATIENTS
Be patient with your client's progress, giving them positive reinforcement regarding their achievements. Another strategy is to give them a report on their trajectory! [How they are going so far!] For example, if you are doing Career Counseling ... if they are going to get a GPA [Grade Point Average] of 5.0, in the top 1% of academics assessed. Then the student can get into a school like Harvard! That shall affect their earning capacity tenfold! Money is a good incentivizer! Mentioning desirable outcomes is a great method to promote compliance!
NEGATIVISM
No-one likes a 'nagger,' in attempting behavior modification. They also do not like a 'heavy' that tells them they must comply - or else! Do not focus much on the possible negative effects if they are non-compliant! Scare-tactics only work until they want a 'naughty food.' A medical officer in the Queensland outback said that "no one complies with a diet anyway!" Well, I had enough patients comply, to reverse diabetes in six patients!
GOD BLESS!