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How do I not give up on myself?

I have been losing my will to do things . How do you keep yourself motivated to do things ?

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Kim’s Answer


While I totally agree with the feedback in the previous answer, I'd like to offer a different perspective. That is, give yourself permission to take a break from the rat race! Physical exercise, go to a movie, anything - just really get your mind off all that stuff that has you bogged down. It is a very recharging exercise. I'd recommend something sort of crazy -ziplining, rock wall climbing, etc. Something totally awesome!


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Leahanne’s Answer

Hi Litzy. I remember feeling like this as well. It can be overwhelming. I would break this down into 3 steps: Goals, Knowing yourself, and Communicating/Connecting.

For Goals - start by setting small goals for yourself each day. They don't have to be specifically or exclusively career goals. Even cleaning out a closet can give you some positive juice. Once you get in the rhythm of small goals, begin to start adding additional more challenging ones as well, but those can be weekly or monthly. If your moderate goals or challenging goals are things you've never done before - don't set unrealistic targets. For example - if want to get a job in a certain industry but have never worked in it, your goal might be "learn about X industry this week". Then you might add, "connect with someone in that industry". so, they need to be doable, and incremental and build upon each other.

Knowing Yourself - find out who you really are and what you're good at. Take the Enneagram personality test - Enneagram Institute has an on-line tool. This will be tremendously valuable in understanding how you see and interact with the world. Assess your talents and skills. I like the Career Aptitude test on 123test.com. Figure out what industries you care about in the world - write those down (not ones where you think you can make money, but ones you would work in for free), and lastly right down your values. Go through a list of adjectives - I have one of 300 adjectives, pick the 3-5 most important to you. Once you do these exercises, you'll have a clear idea who you are.

Communicate and Connect - tell people when you've accomplished each one of your goals. That will make it real to you and will build momentum. Find ways to connect with people (should be a balance of in-person and virtual) where you're connecting about who you are per above, and your goals and successes. You should also be asking them about theirs as well.

I hope that helps. I know you can do it!

Leahanne recommends the following next steps:

Set daily, weekly and monthly goals - mix between easy and challenging
Follow steps to Knowing Yourself
Connect and Communicate

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Andrea’s Answer

Giving up on yourself is often easy when you feel you've reached a dead-end or are stuck in a rut. What is important is to build the will to come out of it. Easier said than done, but not impossible.
The first thing to start believing in yourself again, is ACCEPTANCE. Accept the fact that yes, I don't think I have it in me anymore and I am at my lowest here, but I am being unkind to myself in choosing to negate this feeling.
Secondly, DEAL with it. Not saying it in a harsh way, but allow yourself to feel what you feel. Once you accept what you feel, you should deal with being able to let it flow through you. Suppressing or denying it will only make it worse. You can deal with these in many ways, it helps to talk about it with a trusted person (family, friend or professional) or express it in your way like journal keeping or art or anything you like.
Lastly, is to ascertain what made/makes you feel this way. KNOWING what caused you to give up on yourself in the first place, will help you realize a symptom or a pattern that puts you in a place that you dread. This in itself will give you a sliver of hope that you can get out of it, a slight chance of self-belief.
I agree with Kim's answer, take yourself out of the situation altogether and do something, anything exciting - whether it's skydiving or a Netflix marathon. But remember to put yourself back in it, and come out of it stronger. Running will make you tired, and you will feel weak and will stop for water, just make sure the water is refreshing and helps put you back in the game again.