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Should we let our parents define what career we choose in life?

Should I choose a career only because its what my parents want? Is trying to make them happy really worth it? #nursing #registered-nurses #nurse-management


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Mike’s Answer

You bet, So I come from a very much factory/find a job for 30 years and stick with it family, and even further community of people that think that way. I was never an "A" student, and my parents always wanted for me just to find a job in a factory the typical 8-4 job that use to be the norm. I never really knew what I wanted to do but I knew it wasn't that. I did however end up working on a high end golf course for a couple of years with a landscaping degree under my belt. Still that wasn't enough for me I wanted more. I was sick of working for little money and seasonal work at that. I did something completely different from anyone in my family and got into direct sales. It wasn't easy and can't say I didn't struggle from time to time but that is where I found out who I was and what I was capable of doing, and to this day I am in Agricultural Sales and am helping in feeding the world. I have opened up multiple territories for multiple companies in 3 or 4 different industries changing from job to job failing forward some might call it but never looking back. The whole point of this story of what I have done with my life is just to give you some insight that just cause you are surrounded by people wanting you to do one thing doesn't necessarily mean its the path that is carved out for you.


Some of the Pros of going against what my parents wanted me to do is pretty obvious, I was a hyper active kid with big dreams and was not going settle for a regular job. I challenged the status quo and won and will continue to win.


Some of the cons to this day I still see my parents looking at me differently because I don't have what they call a secure job, or job for life.


I wouldn't change anything good or bad that I went through to get to where I am at today. One comment I will never forget though was made to me by an older teacher in high school, he said to me "I will never amount to anything in life" So when parents or teachers or anyone says they want you to do that or you can't do that challenge them and ask why. The more I challenge the status quo I'm finding the more I am growing as a person as a leader.


I hope this information helps you with your decision, this is just a little bit of the struggles I went through and I turned out more then just fine.


Dear Carmen, I think you should do what makes you happy and also consider the financially for your future. Keith Tsukuda

Thank you so much for sharing that! It really helped me out! Angelina P.

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Luke’s Answer

Carmen- I strongly suggest that you follow and pursue your own passions in life and distance yourself from any biases and pressure your parents may present. You will learn that your parents will unconditionally support you in your professional and academic pursuits. Choosing to rebel from your parents will be a difficult first move, but it will not be nearly as bad as you originally thought. Keep your parents informed with your decision to go another direction, and they will be pleasantly surprised at the maturity of their child. Good luck!


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Mike’s Answer

No absolutely not, now i'm not saying don't listen to what they have to say. But coming from someone who went through this, it is not worth it do what you want with your life. You are going to stumble along the way and its worth it in the long run especially if its something that you truly want to do. But what I would say is show your parents what you want to do and why. Its your life you need to live it the way you want to live it.


Mike would you be willing to share a little more about your personal experience? What your parents wanted you to do, what you wanted to do, what you ended up doing, and what some of the pros and cons were? Jared Chung BACKER

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Elena’s Answer

Hi Carmen -


That's a great question and definitely something most people encounter during their lifetime. It could be on career or on even personal life such as who the significant other should be.


I personally do not think we should let our parents define the career you choose ultimately. I think it is fair though to listen to what your parents have to say so at least they feel they were respected and that you at least considered their advice. However, ultimately, the decision is yours and what you choose is going to be a big part of your life. Note that though, you can always change your career if you end up wanting to do / try something else.


Good luck!


as i read what you wrote i feel like my soul has return Happy L.

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Mike’s Answer

Follow the path that will ultimately make you happy.


As for your parents - ask them why they want you to do what they are suggesting?


Previous generations have great life experience that can be helpful but they often give it in ways that make you tune out. Instead of saying things like: "you should consider the job market for that role" they just say go be a doctor.


See what they are really concerned about and use it to inform your own decisions.


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