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For those who have entered the professional world as therapists/counselors, have you had a particularly difficult time managing your empathic side when faced with clients' emotions #Spring25?

I cry at the drop of a hat but have heard that training/educational courses help manage this. I wonder at my effectiveness if I have a hard time separating my emotions from those I might counsel.

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Chinyere’s Answer

Hello Michelle,

Rather than being a weakness, your profound empathy is a virtue, something that many effective counselors and therapists possess. Many people who want to work in mental health are concerned about how they will handle strong emotions, particularly if they have a great deal of concern for other people. You're not the only one.

Counseling or therapy education and training are definitely helpful. To help you control your emotions while maintaining genuine connections with your clients, you will study reflective listening, emotional regulation, limits, grounding, and supervisory strategies. You will eventually develop what is sometimes referred to as "therapeutic distance", the capacity to give others space without feeling overburdened.

You'll find resources and support in your classes, internships, and supervision to help you find that balance. It's also essential to understand that successful therapists aren't heartless; in fact, when handled appropriately, genuine emotional moments can foster connection and trust.

You already have a strong sense of emotion; that's a great starting point. All you'll need is the ability to use that compassion in a long-lasting, professional manner, which is precisely what training programs are meant to assist you with.

Best wishes!
Thank you comment icon Thank you, Chinyere, for your thoughtful response to my question. I will carefully consider your comments as I move forward in my educational journey. Michelle
Thank you comment icon You're welcome, Michelle. Chinyere Okafor
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Sarah’s Answer

The answer I will give is two-fold. First, it is so very important to maintain a professional relationship with clients and to offer solid support. This means that, as professionals, we cannot break down every time a client discloses something. Often, we will need to maintain our calm demeanor and attentiveness to help provide a safe space for the client to share. However, to say I have never had an emotional response in a therapy session would be a lie. I have cried, I have been frustrated, I have been proud and overjoyed. There will be times when a client will tell you something that breaks your heart and you just can’t stop a few tears from dropping. This is an opportunity to express to the client what you are feeling and why. Emotions expressed with clients helps to show that we care, we are human, and there is an appropriate way to express what we are experiencing. I had a client once who finally opened up about the abuse in his childhood and as he spoke and just continued to speak, I finally did cry. He was concerned his story was too much for me, but I had that moment to tell him that honestly, it broke my heart to hear what had happened to him but that I was all in to hear anything he needed to say. I had a client disclose once that he had killed someone in self defense and I was not expecting it at all. In a swift and involuntary pearl clutching motion, I conveyed shock to the client. We were able to talk about my surprise and that this information does not impact my impression or concern for the client in any way. I work with repeat sexual offenders with particularly violent crime patterns, so occasionally I have to be stern and/or raise my voice a little to be heard and understood in situations that could escalate to violence. I will tell my clients, when things calm down, that I did not intend to offend them but that I needed to change their focus in the moment. I could tell you a million stories, but it amounts to the fact that your empathy and compassion is just as valuable as your ability to be calm and reassuring.
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