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How do I stay motivated when I feel like I’m falling behind everyone else?

Sometimes it feels like my classmates are doing so well — getting awards, knowing what they want in life, or even running side projects. Meanwhile, I feel stuck or unsure. How do I stop comparing myself and just focus on my own growth?

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Paul’s Answer

I have learned a lot from the philosophy of UCLA coach John Wooden, over the past decades. He made several statements about this topic, which includes the following:

Don’t compare yourself to somebody else, especially materially. If you are worrying about the other guy and what he’s doing, about what he’s making, about all the attention he’s getting, you are not going to be able to do what you are capable of doing. It’s a guaranteed way to make yourself miserable. Envy, jealousy and criticism can become cancerous. They hurt the person who feels them, rather than the person they’re directed towards.

Never try to be better than someone else, but always be learning from others. Never cease trying to be the best you can be. Doing your best in life is under your control; the other isn’t. If you get too engrossed and involved and concerned in regard to things over which you have no control, it will adversely affect the things over which you have control.

Peace of mind only attained through self satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to do the best you’re capable. So always focus on doing your best in life, not what other people are doing.
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Joy’s Answer

Hi Jose,

Remember, it's okay not to compare yourself to others. Everyone's journey is unique, and you're just beginning yours! Let your passion and what makes you happy drive you forward. People will remember you for who you are and how you treat them, not for any awards. Focus on progress, not speed! What small step can you take this week to move ahead? Even little victories add up over time.

There are many ways to achieve success! By asking questions, you're already on the right path. It's normal to feel unsure, but remember, the journey is just as important as the destination, and every experience teaches you something valuable.

We're here for you, Jose!

The Salesforce Keynote Team
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Blue Shield of California’s Answer

Identify my why early on. Why are you doing this? What do you hope to get out of this?

I try to set up quarterly to semi-annual check-in to see if I'm still getting what I thought I wanted out of the work or activity. And if there's a mismatch in expectations, that's okay. Is there something you can do to make it better? What have you learned from this experience or about yourself through this process that you can use for your next role? "
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Kristen’s Answer

Hi Jose,

This is a challenging and exciting part of your life. It is okay that you are unsure of what you want to do and where you want to go. There is not one direct path that everyone must follow. You can be happy for your peers and the awards they earn and the success they have, but their success does not mean you are any less. You are your own, special, unique person who will find your way. Trust that and yourself. Trust that you have interests and ideas, but have not yet found the place to begin. And that's okay.

Think of one small task that you would like to do. Make it something simple, something you know is attainable, and then reach for it. If you can do this, then you begin focusing on yourself and less on what everyone else is doing. And then, you build on these little tasks, one bit at a time. You may hit some bumps along the way, but that's okay, too. We've all hit them. It's how we learn and grow and change.

I believe in you. You've already taken the first step. You asked for help. That takes a strong person. Be patient with yourself. Believe in yourself.

Best of luck to you!
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Howard’s Answer

Dear Jose,

Finding out why you're not feeling motivated is important. It might be stress, a busy schedule, or unclear goals. Once you know the cause, you can start feeling inspired again.

As a college professor, I've helped many students with motivation. Here are some tips to help you succeed:

1. Take care of yourself: Eat well and get enough sleep for a good start to your day.
2. Stay positive: A good attitude can help you find new ways to do well in school and work.
3. Set small goals: Make goals you can reach and work on them step by step.
4. Celebrate your wins: When you achieve something, take time to enjoy it. This boosts your confidence.
5. Be around positive people: Spend time with friends who are motivated and cheerful. Their energy can lift you up.
6. Talk to your boss, teacher, or mentor: Let them know you want to be more motivated. They might have helpful advice.
7. Find joy: Being happy can naturally make you more productive.

I hope these ideas help you find your motivation. I'm cheering for you and wish you success in everything you do.

Best wishes,
Professor Christiansen
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Blue Shield of California’s Answer

I think having small goals is key. I loved feeling accomplished and so many days we accomplish things- but make sure to write down goals and mark them off as you go- it will keep you motivated and feel accomplished

Maintaining a consistent and healthy mind and body. Eat well, sleep well, exercise regularly, and take care of your close relationships. When you feel happy and grounded as a person, you will be your best at work as well.

Looking at everything I do as an investment in myself and my future. Going to school, I'm learning new skills and opening up new possibilities for myself. Plus, I feel really proud of myself when I look at some of the things I learn to do and impressed with knowledge I've gained.

I like to feel competent in whatever I'm doing. And I feel great pride when I'm one of the best. I think I'd rather be the best employee at a fast food restaurant than the worst at a more prestigious job. When you put in the effort and go above and beyond, people notice. And I know that will be what gets me further in the long run. And I feel really good about myself!
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Emily’s Answer

First off, you’re definitely not alone in feeling this way. It’s super common, especially in environments where everyone seems to be achieving something big. Here are a few thoughts that might help:

1. Remember: Everyone’s timeline is different. It's not a race.
It’s easy to look at others and feel like you’re behind, but everyone’s journey is unique. Some people figure things out early, others take more time—and that’s totally okay. What matters is that you’re moving forward at your own pace.

2. Social media and awards only show the highlights.
Most people share their wins, not their struggles. For every award or project you see, there are probably a dozen setbacks or doubts you don’t see. Try not to compare your behind-the-scenes to someone else’s highlight reel.

3. Focus on small, personal goals.
Instead of measuring yourself against others, set small, achievable goals for yourself. Celebrate your progress, no matter how minor it feels. Growth is often slow and steady. Remember to celebrate small wins too!

4. Reflect on your own values and interests.
Take some time to think about what you actually enjoy or care about—not just what looks impressive on paper. It’s okay not to have everything figured out. Exploring different things is part of the process.

5. Practice self-compassion.
Be kind to yourself. Feeling stuck or unsure is a normal part of life, and it doesn’t mean you’re failing. Treat yourself like you would a friend in the same situation.

6. Talk to others.
You might be surprised how many people feel the same way. Opening up to friends, mentors, or even classmates can help you realize you’re not alone—and you might get some helpful advice or encouragement.

7. Limit comparison triggers.
If certain social media accounts or conversations make you feel worse, it’s okay to take a break or mute them for a while. Protect your mental space.

8. Remember, growth isn’t always visible.
Sometimes the most important changes are happening beneath the surface—like building resilience, learning from setbacks, or figuring out what you don’t want.

You’re doing better than you think. Keep going, and try to be patient with yourself. Your path is yours, and that’s what makes it meaningful and different. Good luck!
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Tammy’s Answer

Joy’s response is spot on! Jose, only you get to decide what success looks like. I know it’s so easy to compare ourselves to others and to measure ourselves by standards that other people set. There is nothing wrong with striving for awards or doing your best in your classes but everyone is different and you have unique gifts and talents that might be different than someone else. As hard as it is, try pushing out the noise of comparison and make a list of your own personal goals. Decide for yourself what “winning” looks like. Then strive for those goals. Award yourself each time you hit a goal. Do your best (not someone else’s best!). Take time to learn about who you are and what’s important to you. Then you can focus your time and energy on your personal goals without worrying about what everyone else is or is not doing.

Can I let you in on a little secret? Everyone is still figuring out life- even those who seem to have it all together! Everyone struggles from time to time with what to do next or what goals to set- some people are just better at masking it. Even as an adult, it’s hard to not compare ourselves to others but when you stop worrying about others, you will actually be able to enjoy your life right now, exactly where you are.

Good luck! You got this!
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Blue Shield of California’s Answer

On day's that feel rough - start by making a list of the things that need to get done, rank them in order of importance, and then turn off all distractions to knock them off from highest importance to lowest priority. If helpful, you can go back and forth between priority to gain some momentum, i.e., sprinkle in a couple lower priority tasks if they don't take a lot of time. This way you feel good about getting the ""ball rolling"" on getting a few things done.

Another trick - know which type of work you do best during what time of day. For me personally, creative or brainstorming type work happens best late at night. Rather than slogging through that work during the day, I may go for a walk, get other high priority tasks completed, enjoy an evening with family, and when everyone's asleep - then turn on a comedy streaming station or sports talk radio for background noise and then dig into the creative process. Over time, I've learned this is what works for me. "
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Malvena’s Answer

Hi Jose,

While this is a challenging time, you should be excited about it as well. You are just learning who you are and what you like, so no need to rush into things just because the people around you are. Celebrate others' successes, but get down on yourself. Also, no more comparing yourself to anyone else. Some of us are late bloomers, meaning we blossom later in life, but that does not mean we will not be successful. I was once one of those people who bloomed late in life. I was once one of those people.. I progressed in school and career; however, my social life lacked a bit, but now I'm enjoying life where some of my peers are lacking in that area. Please take your time and enjoy your youth. Stay in school, be dedicated, and do your best at all you do! When you are older, you will look back and say thank you.
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Rebecca’s Answer

Thank you for your question. Different people have different progress. It would not be appropriate to compare with others. However, you can setup some targets to aim for so that you can make your own progress.
Below are my suggestions :
1. Think carefully what do you want to achieve of the school year. Make some realistic targets. e.g. achieve certain grades in your some subjects, participate some extra curriculum activities, etc.
2. Put down a plan how to achieve these targets
3. Work hard towards meeting these targets. Review the plan regular and make adjustment if necessary.
4. At the end of the school, review the progress you have made and think about the next academic year
Hope this helps! Good Luck!
May Almighty God bless you!
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Emily’s Answer

I've felt this way too. It's tough not to compare yourself when it seems like everyone else knows what they're doing or is achieving big things. I used to feel down when I saw classmates winning awards or taking on extra projects while I was still figuring things out.

What really helped me was remembering that we all move at our own pace, and that's perfectly fine. Just because someone reaches a goal sooner doesn't mean you're behind; it just means your path is different. I try to focus on taking small steps forward instead of worrying about where I think I should be. Progress doesn't always have to be big or obvious.

When I start comparing myself to others, I pause and ask, "What am I proud of lately?" Even small achievements, like finishing a tough assignment or speaking up in class, matter. It's about building your own momentum, not competing with others. Honestly, no one has everything figured out, even those who seem like they do.
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Blue Shield of California’s Answer

Write it down. If you write down 5 things to accomplish every day, you'll be surpised how consisent and rewarded you are.
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Blue Shield of California’s Answer

Keep a positive attitude, be flexible, and believe everything will work out. Sometimes you just need to persevere and stick with it. Also, try to learn something new every day! Investing in yourself pays dividends.
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Blue Shield of California’s Answer

Motivation comes from your value system and what you are trying to achieve goal-wise. And, it can ebb and flow based on life circumstances; how hard or easy life is going at the moment. The key to staying motivated is to remember mistakes and setbacks happen, and when they do, to keep them in their proper context. Don't allow them to take on a deeper meaning that what they were in and of themselves. Let mistakes go quickly. Be aware, understand why they happened, apologize to yourself or others if necessary, and move on. The key to success and staying motivated is the ability to recover quickly from mistakes.
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Blue Shield of California’s Answer

One of my favorite habits to stay motivated is setting small daily goals. IT helps me break down big assignments into manageable steps - so I don't feel so overwhelmed. I also keep a TO DO list - it feels satisfying to check things off.
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Blue Shield of California’s Answer

Participating in some sort of service, either through work or in your community/family. It helps you keep perspective and practice gratitude.
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Blue Shield of California’s Answer

Remember that meaningful work is that which is helping other people. If you are working in a trade that can be a direct connection to the people you serve. Software coding can be a few levels removed from the end user, but there is always an end user in meaningful work.
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Blue Shield of California’s Answer

- I like deadlines. They could be formal dues dates from a boss or teacher, but you can make your own deadlines too. For example, "I need to finish this report by end of day Friday, so that I can enjoy my weekend worry-free." I also like blocking a certain amount of time for a task (say, one hour) and ONLY work on that thing during that time. Shut off or delay all distractions (including other work) until that time is up.

- I like to set a goal for the week and reward myself with something once I achieve consistency by the end of the week. Whether it's a sweet treat, an outing or buying myself something small, I like to give myself a pat on the back to recognize when I am disciplined. This helps me stay motivated by consistently setting small, achievable goals for myself regularly, rather than being overwhelmed by one giant goal looming over me.
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Blue Shield of California’s Answer

A quote by Henry Ford, "Whether you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right" often provides the needed lift when I begin to struggle. Also, keeping a look out to the future. Remembering that today's work gets you closer to that future goal is important when it may not feel like you're doing enough.
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Blue Shield of California’s Answer

When I'm feeling that I'm working most "efficiently" I have a notebook in front of me that I use to write a things to do checklist for myself. That way I can accomplish the tasks that I need to get done that day. Sometimes, there are a lot of tasks, so when that happens I also rank them and add a priority level to them so that If I do not get to the lower priority items by the end of that one day, I know that I've taken care of the things that I need to get done. Also, there are times when I need to "Time Box" things that I'm working on and also hold myself accountable from getting distracted. In those times I've used apps like BeFocused to set a timer for myself and push myself to spend 30 minutes uninterrupted on a task which helps to remind me not to wander off to my teams chat or my email to answer a quick question. Sometimes I just need to get something done.
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Ellen’s Answer

Focus more on your mental health
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Blue Shield of California’s Answer

When I was in school, I would make vision boards to keep me motivated. Anyone can create a vision board by cutting and pasting pictures from magazines or printing them out from the computer. You can paste all of your future goals, wants, needs, and plans all on the vision board. I suggest keeping the vision board somewhere where you can see it every day.

A good habit to stay motivated at work is to create a routine. You can create routines for morning and night. The morning routines and night routines will turn into habits. You can also change your routine if needed to fit your lifestyle and create new habits.
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