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How does anyone move past the dread of having a job?
I'm serious! I really hate the idea of having a job, so how can anyone stand to have one? I've never had one before as a junior in high school, but the little work experience I do have tells me I could never do this every day for the rest of my life. I'm so lazy, I wish I could just live in this world without a job. How do you move past that feeling?
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15 answers
Updated
Cliff’s Answer
Sophie,
It is a very good question. A lot of people feel this way at one time or another. So, let me ask you some questions:
What do you LIKE to do? What are you GOOD at? What do people say you're good at? Everyone has talents, so you should identify yours. Some people say: "If you're good at something, you should try to get better at other things", but I think you should try to get even better at your strengths.
Next, think about what fulfills you: Do you like to work with people? Do you like to work with animals? Do you like to work with younger children? Solve puzzles? Grow things? Whatever it is for you, everyone has something they like to do and gives them fulfillment.
Next, think about people you know who you think have great jobs and ask them about it. They can be a great source of information for you.
Next, you need to realize that even if you are lazy, you will eventually not feel good about yourself if you don't have or cultivate a purpose in your life. Even people who win the lottery come to understand this.
So, I suggest that you embrace the answers to what you are good at and what you like to do and try to make a career out of it. But, you don't have to decide now what you want to do forever - you will change over time, and your job/career can change as well.
When I was your age, I was good in school, but I didn't know what I wanted to do for a career. I got a job working as an apprentice to an electrician and REALLY enjoyed it. I found I really enjoyed it when I ran wire, energized it, and had light/power in a new area when I was done! People looked at me differently when I did this over time. So, to decide a career: My brother was a mechanical engineer, and I thought engineering was cool, but I wanted to incorporate electrical into it - I graduated with a degree in electrical engineering. But that wasn't the end - I joined a company and thought I would be designing circuits... but it turned out I wasn't nearly as strong as many of my peers. I transitioned to writing firmware/microcode and found I liked that much better. I didn't stay just writing firmware, though, I did testing, builds, and project management and finally became a manager of firmware/microcode. Management is what I really love. I love working with people and helping them reach their goals and I continue to work on getting better at that.
I've been working for over 43 years. There are days that I wonder why I'm doing it, but it STILL fulfills me, and I like many parts of it.
So, I hope after some self-exploration, you can find what you want to do with your life (at least to start with). Everyone has something they are good at - I'm sure you do as well. A job doesn't have to be a drag if you do some planning and preparation.
I wish you the best of luck! Take care!
It is a very good question. A lot of people feel this way at one time or another. So, let me ask you some questions:
What do you LIKE to do? What are you GOOD at? What do people say you're good at? Everyone has talents, so you should identify yours. Some people say: "If you're good at something, you should try to get better at other things", but I think you should try to get even better at your strengths.
Next, think about what fulfills you: Do you like to work with people? Do you like to work with animals? Do you like to work with younger children? Solve puzzles? Grow things? Whatever it is for you, everyone has something they like to do and gives them fulfillment.
Next, think about people you know who you think have great jobs and ask them about it. They can be a great source of information for you.
Next, you need to realize that even if you are lazy, you will eventually not feel good about yourself if you don't have or cultivate a purpose in your life. Even people who win the lottery come to understand this.
So, I suggest that you embrace the answers to what you are good at and what you like to do and try to make a career out of it. But, you don't have to decide now what you want to do forever - you will change over time, and your job/career can change as well.
When I was your age, I was good in school, but I didn't know what I wanted to do for a career. I got a job working as an apprentice to an electrician and REALLY enjoyed it. I found I really enjoyed it when I ran wire, energized it, and had light/power in a new area when I was done! People looked at me differently when I did this over time. So, to decide a career: My brother was a mechanical engineer, and I thought engineering was cool, but I wanted to incorporate electrical into it - I graduated with a degree in electrical engineering. But that wasn't the end - I joined a company and thought I would be designing circuits... but it turned out I wasn't nearly as strong as many of my peers. I transitioned to writing firmware/microcode and found I liked that much better. I didn't stay just writing firmware, though, I did testing, builds, and project management and finally became a manager of firmware/microcode. Management is what I really love. I love working with people and helping them reach their goals and I continue to work on getting better at that.
I've been working for over 43 years. There are days that I wonder why I'm doing it, but it STILL fulfills me, and I like many parts of it.
So, I hope after some self-exploration, you can find what you want to do with your life (at least to start with). Everyone has something they are good at - I'm sure you do as well. A job doesn't have to be a drag if you do some planning and preparation.
I wish you the best of luck! Take care!
Bob Echols
Retired lawyer and ethics officer--current blogger and author of the For Our Friends the Animals quartet.
32
Answers
Updated
Bob’s Answer
Hi, Sophie, and thank you for your question. I suspect every high schooler has asked this question at least once; I know I did--so you are not alone.
A couple of points--first basic, then advanced.
The basic--at some point you will be out on your own, and in order to meet expenses, save money, pay for trips and vacations, you will need to have money. Some folks are fortunate and win the lottery; most of us need to find a paying job such that we have a steady income to defray the costs of being on this earth.--That's just life.
Now the advanced--the key to being successful in the workforce, in life, is not to look at an employment situation as an unpleasant task to be gotten through. Rather, view work as two things; namely, an opportunity for you to serve others, people, animals, the environment, that is your choice, by using your skills and education to their fullest. We are here to serve--a job offers the chance to do just that.
And second, view work as an opportunity to express yourself, your inner feelings, your creative powers and tendencies. Make every job, and you will likely have more than one in your life, an opportunity to put Sophie's unique stamp on the situation.
You are unique, so make each work situation a reflection of your individuality, your own style.
To close, change your focus from a job being an onerous burden that will confine you, to a job being a wonderful opportunity for you demonstrate who you are, to be creative, to give something and leave something that nobody else can.
I'm excited for you. Seize this golden opportunity and let the world see what greatness Sophie can offer.
May God bless you!
A couple of points--first basic, then advanced.
The basic--at some point you will be out on your own, and in order to meet expenses, save money, pay for trips and vacations, you will need to have money. Some folks are fortunate and win the lottery; most of us need to find a paying job such that we have a steady income to defray the costs of being on this earth.--That's just life.
Now the advanced--the key to being successful in the workforce, in life, is not to look at an employment situation as an unpleasant task to be gotten through. Rather, view work as two things; namely, an opportunity for you to serve others, people, animals, the environment, that is your choice, by using your skills and education to their fullest. We are here to serve--a job offers the chance to do just that.
And second, view work as an opportunity to express yourself, your inner feelings, your creative powers and tendencies. Make every job, and you will likely have more than one in your life, an opportunity to put Sophie's unique stamp on the situation.
You are unique, so make each work situation a reflection of your individuality, your own style.
To close, change your focus from a job being an onerous burden that will confine you, to a job being a wonderful opportunity for you demonstrate who you are, to be creative, to give something and leave something that nobody else can.
I'm excited for you. Seize this golden opportunity and let the world see what greatness Sophie can offer.
May God bless you!
Updated
Martha’s Answer
Thank you for your candid and heartfelt question, Sophie. You have already received excellent insights, and I would like to add a few more:
- Jobs available to a junior in high school are typically in retail, yard work, babysitting, etc. It's fine if you don't like them. But consider that other jobs may be more engaging and fulfilling for you.
- I hate to see you label yourself as lazy. I bet there is one or more activity - even one that requires a lot of energy - that you do happily. So maybe reframe this to say that you haven't found something yet that you could imagine doing every day.
- Understand that change requires adjustment. When you first start working full-time, you may feel sad to lose free time, tired from the concentration and commute, and anxious about being successful. As you become more comfortable, your satisfaction will increase. If it doesn't, or does but then decreases, maybe you will need to change roles.
- Another reframe is to think of what you are grateful for about having a job. For example, others mentioned being able to use your skills and knowledge, help others, and have funds to live. In addition, you could be grateful for being healthy enough to work, friends you make through work, or learning something new in your work - you could add to this list. Being grateful for anything helps reduce stress and change your perspective in general.
I hope this helps - good luck!
- Jobs available to a junior in high school are typically in retail, yard work, babysitting, etc. It's fine if you don't like them. But consider that other jobs may be more engaging and fulfilling for you.
- I hate to see you label yourself as lazy. I bet there is one or more activity - even one that requires a lot of energy - that you do happily. So maybe reframe this to say that you haven't found something yet that you could imagine doing every day.
- Understand that change requires adjustment. When you first start working full-time, you may feel sad to lose free time, tired from the concentration and commute, and anxious about being successful. As you become more comfortable, your satisfaction will increase. If it doesn't, or does but then decreases, maybe you will need to change roles.
- Another reframe is to think of what you are grateful for about having a job. For example, others mentioned being able to use your skills and knowledge, help others, and have funds to live. In addition, you could be grateful for being healthy enough to work, friends you make through work, or learning something new in your work - you could add to this list. Being grateful for anything helps reduce stress and change your perspective in general.
I hope this helps - good luck!
Thank you, I appreciate this response, it's really comprehensive :]
Sophie
You're welcome and thanks for your note!
Martha Kramer
Updated
Margarita’s Answer
You are not the only one. Nobody has ever "dreamed" of having a job.
However, most of us cannot make a living otherwise. I would suggest using your interests as a guideline to learn and develop skills you need to benefit and support your interests. For example, take free online computer graphics, AI, marketing, phycology, photography, etc. classes to become a successful online social media personality or blogger. Or take free online financial courses and learn to invest and grow whatever allowance or little money you already have. Maybe your laziness will help you to come up with some invention or doing things differently with less effort. Like somebody came up with those long-reachable grabbers that even people with disabilities use to get things off the high shelf.
You have to learn that you can never NEVER get things for free. You have to put some effort to get something. It does not have to be a job, but it will have to be some action on your part for people to give you money. Therefore, might as well be something you can enjoy.
Good luck!
However, most of us cannot make a living otherwise. I would suggest using your interests as a guideline to learn and develop skills you need to benefit and support your interests. For example, take free online computer graphics, AI, marketing, phycology, photography, etc. classes to become a successful online social media personality or blogger. Or take free online financial courses and learn to invest and grow whatever allowance or little money you already have. Maybe your laziness will help you to come up with some invention or doing things differently with less effort. Like somebody came up with those long-reachable grabbers that even people with disabilities use to get things off the high shelf.
You have to learn that you can never NEVER get things for free. You have to put some effort to get something. It does not have to be a job, but it will have to be some action on your part for people to give you money. Therefore, might as well be something you can enjoy.
Good luck!
Updated
Shumin’s Answer
Hi Sophie, that is a very honest question to ask, and probably even harder to answer. The degree of dread differs from person to person and for me, after 20 over years of working on the field, I still get days where its a challenge just getting up and start the day working,
The best answer will be to work on something that you enjoy and like. The truth is we may not always be in the situation where we can work at a job we enjoy, and that is ok. We can still excel and perform at a job even though its the furthest thing from our dreams and passions. What I find helpful is building meaningful relationships, be it with my team members, colleagues, business partners etc.
I find that this not only help me in enjoying my work more, the sense of collaboration and team work is immensely satisfactory. Even when we move on from our jobs, these meaningful relationships and friendships are what carried me through.
Its ok to have bad days and the sense of dread, but there will also be good days where it just makes the day worthwhile. Good luck and hang on there Sophie!
The best answer will be to work on something that you enjoy and like. The truth is we may not always be in the situation where we can work at a job we enjoy, and that is ok. We can still excel and perform at a job even though its the furthest thing from our dreams and passions. What I find helpful is building meaningful relationships, be it with my team members, colleagues, business partners etc.
I find that this not only help me in enjoying my work more, the sense of collaboration and team work is immensely satisfactory. Even when we move on from our jobs, these meaningful relationships and friendships are what carried me through.
Its ok to have bad days and the sense of dread, but there will also be good days where it just makes the day worthwhile. Good luck and hang on there Sophie!
Updated
Kimberly’s Answer
Sophie, everyone who’s responded to your question has shared excellent and valuable insights. And it’s true—many of us have felt the same way at some point. Honestly, even after years in the workforce, some people still say they haven’t quite figured out their passion or what they want to be “when they grow up.” It’s completely normal not to know what you like or dislike while you’re still in high school—I certainly didn’t! I knew what I enjoyed, but I couldn’t have imagined making a career out of it.
Sometimes, jobs and careers happen by accident, by being in the right place at the right time, or even by seeing something on TV or in a movie that sparks your interest. That’s why it’s so important to keep exploring, reading, experiencing new things, and meeting new people. As you’re exposed to different opportunities, you’ll start to form new ideas about what interests you, and that will naturally lead you to seek out more information.
Your path might take you to college, a trade school, or learning from family or friends, as others have mentioned. Sometimes, you’ll discover what you like by realizing what you don’t like, or by wishing for a tool or solution that doesn’t yet exist. Through all these experiences, you’ll eventually find something you’re passionate about—and you’ll want to get paid to do it! When that happens, you’ll be on your way to a career that might not even feel like “work” because you enjoy it so much.
As Bob pointed out, seize every opportunity and embrace every experience that comes your way!
Sometimes, jobs and careers happen by accident, by being in the right place at the right time, or even by seeing something on TV or in a movie that sparks your interest. That’s why it’s so important to keep exploring, reading, experiencing new things, and meeting new people. As you’re exposed to different opportunities, you’ll start to form new ideas about what interests you, and that will naturally lead you to seek out more information.
Your path might take you to college, a trade school, or learning from family or friends, as others have mentioned. Sometimes, you’ll discover what you like by realizing what you don’t like, or by wishing for a tool or solution that doesn’t yet exist. Through all these experiences, you’ll eventually find something you’re passionate about—and you’ll want to get paid to do it! When that happens, you’ll be on your way to a career that might not even feel like “work” because you enjoy it so much.
As Bob pointed out, seize every opportunity and embrace every experience that comes your way!
Thank you, this is really helpful :]
Sophie
Updated
Don’s Answer
Hello Sophie,
This is an interesting question and perspective to have. I think in general most people don't like the jobs that they have, it is more out of necessity to have in order to progress in society and survive. For me, I have had a job since I was 19 (I'm 22 now) and at first it was very strange to think about and understand what expectations come with any job. You learn, you struggle, you change your mind about jobs but it is normal to have these thoughts. I can't really imagine my life without one and it has become normal to me because this is the life that I've been living these past 3 years. I think in terms of advice I would give, it would be to find a job that you find interesting and that you are good at. It will be weird the idea of having a job but it is the way our culture is to where we need to have a job in order to survive in life and to just make the most of opportunities we have.
This is an interesting question and perspective to have. I think in general most people don't like the jobs that they have, it is more out of necessity to have in order to progress in society and survive. For me, I have had a job since I was 19 (I'm 22 now) and at first it was very strange to think about and understand what expectations come with any job. You learn, you struggle, you change your mind about jobs but it is normal to have these thoughts. I can't really imagine my life without one and it has become normal to me because this is the life that I've been living these past 3 years. I think in terms of advice I would give, it would be to find a job that you find interesting and that you are good at. It will be weird the idea of having a job but it is the way our culture is to where we need to have a job in order to survive in life and to just make the most of opportunities we have.
Updated
Jessica’s Answer
Hi Sophie, I love how honest and transparent you are about your feelings regarding the dread of a full-time job. Here are some random thoughts and tidbits (in no particular order) that I hope you might find helpful.
1. Take time to reflect on the alternatives.
I think there are many of us who have never experienced want or the lack thereof. While I can sometime dread having to work everyday, I dread the thought of being homeless or hungry or not being able to provide for my family and loved ones even MORE. I was told early in life that we don't change until the pain of staying where we are hurts more than the change itself. We are all only one or two bad decisions away from potentially being homeless and hungry. There were times in my life where all I had to eat for a month were ramen noodles or cheap bread with peanut butter. I also had shoes with holes that had to be duct taped and couldn't afford clothes. I found bargain fabric for $1/yard and learned to sew a sundress for a $1.50. These experiences early on in life gave me the drive to work hard everyday. If you have never experienced lack or want, perhaps you can see how it feels to wear the same old, crummy clothes everyday for a week or an old pair of sneakers with holes for a month. It may help to change your perspective.
2. Get to know what motivates you.
Many of us don't have a job that we love to the point it doesn't feel like work at all. HOWEVER, I'm using my skills and work experience at a company whose mission I fully LOVE and EMBRACE. I know that what I do on a day-to-day basis is making the lives of educator and students better. I get to make a difference and lasting impact on improving lives. That motivates me!
3. Choose now to have a work/life balance.
Early on I decided that I didn't want to work multiple jobs to just survive. I wanted to get a degree for the best possible income. Also, I took Financial Peace University and learned how to live life without going into debt. I purposely live "small". My house is only 800 square feet, I have no debt except what is left on my mortgage (working toward paying this off!) and my used car is a subcompact. This means one job fully supports my living costs and gives me the time and monetary freedom to enjoy life and time with friends and family making memories and experiences far more valuable than material goods.
4. Learn to enjoy the simple things and practice gratitude.
A walk with a friend and your pooch at sunset doesn't cost a dime but is one of the most enjoyable activities that I try to practice everyday. Also, keeping a gratitude journal and writing down what I'm thankful for daily helps me to see how full and truly blessed I am. These little free daily practices help to ground me and keep my perspective aligned with not constantly chasing after "more" and living just on material basis.
5. Live Generously.
This is absolutely wild and seems so counter-intuitive but there is a surge of joy and happiness when you get the opportunity to give, especially to those who can't give back. It could be a simple gesture of having enough money to take your family out to dinner or buy flowers for a friend who lost a loved one. There are needs all around us that we can help to fulfill but only when we have the security of well-paying job/profession. This also motivates me to get up every morning and get to work.
6. Take one day at a time.
The pressures to have life goals all figured out while still in high school is intense. Know that it is good to have plans but those plans often change over the course of time. Taking one day at a time still allows us to "plan" for the future while only having to live in the present. I don't worry about having to work everyday of my life with this mindset. Instead, I wake up grateful for today, and for the fact that I'm still here. Some loved ones and friends younger than me have passed on and don't have the opportunity of another day here on this Earth.
7. Cultivate your Faith.
Faith is a very personal choice, but in my opinion absolutely necessary to be successful in life and relationships. It is a solid rock and foundation for me. My family and faith community have been my support in my life when I was struggling. I would not be who I am today or where I am today without them. Their support and wise counsel have helped through difficult life decisions and life changes.
I hope you find some of these helpful. I wish you all the best in your life endeavors, Sophie!
1. Take time to reflect on the alternatives.
I think there are many of us who have never experienced want or the lack thereof. While I can sometime dread having to work everyday, I dread the thought of being homeless or hungry or not being able to provide for my family and loved ones even MORE. I was told early in life that we don't change until the pain of staying where we are hurts more than the change itself. We are all only one or two bad decisions away from potentially being homeless and hungry. There were times in my life where all I had to eat for a month were ramen noodles or cheap bread with peanut butter. I also had shoes with holes that had to be duct taped and couldn't afford clothes. I found bargain fabric for $1/yard and learned to sew a sundress for a $1.50. These experiences early on in life gave me the drive to work hard everyday. If you have never experienced lack or want, perhaps you can see how it feels to wear the same old, crummy clothes everyday for a week or an old pair of sneakers with holes for a month. It may help to change your perspective.
2. Get to know what motivates you.
Many of us don't have a job that we love to the point it doesn't feel like work at all. HOWEVER, I'm using my skills and work experience at a company whose mission I fully LOVE and EMBRACE. I know that what I do on a day-to-day basis is making the lives of educator and students better. I get to make a difference and lasting impact on improving lives. That motivates me!
3. Choose now to have a work/life balance.
Early on I decided that I didn't want to work multiple jobs to just survive. I wanted to get a degree for the best possible income. Also, I took Financial Peace University and learned how to live life without going into debt. I purposely live "small". My house is only 800 square feet, I have no debt except what is left on my mortgage (working toward paying this off!) and my used car is a subcompact. This means one job fully supports my living costs and gives me the time and monetary freedom to enjoy life and time with friends and family making memories and experiences far more valuable than material goods.
4. Learn to enjoy the simple things and practice gratitude.
A walk with a friend and your pooch at sunset doesn't cost a dime but is one of the most enjoyable activities that I try to practice everyday. Also, keeping a gratitude journal and writing down what I'm thankful for daily helps me to see how full and truly blessed I am. These little free daily practices help to ground me and keep my perspective aligned with not constantly chasing after "more" and living just on material basis.
5. Live Generously.
This is absolutely wild and seems so counter-intuitive but there is a surge of joy and happiness when you get the opportunity to give, especially to those who can't give back. It could be a simple gesture of having enough money to take your family out to dinner or buy flowers for a friend who lost a loved one. There are needs all around us that we can help to fulfill but only when we have the security of well-paying job/profession. This also motivates me to get up every morning and get to work.
6. Take one day at a time.
The pressures to have life goals all figured out while still in high school is intense. Know that it is good to have plans but those plans often change over the course of time. Taking one day at a time still allows us to "plan" for the future while only having to live in the present. I don't worry about having to work everyday of my life with this mindset. Instead, I wake up grateful for today, and for the fact that I'm still here. Some loved ones and friends younger than me have passed on and don't have the opportunity of another day here on this Earth.
7. Cultivate your Faith.
Faith is a very personal choice, but in my opinion absolutely necessary to be successful in life and relationships. It is a solid rock and foundation for me. My family and faith community have been my support in my life when I was struggling. I would not be who I am today or where I am today without them. Their support and wise counsel have helped through difficult life decisions and life changes.
I hope you find some of these helpful. I wish you all the best in your life endeavors, Sophie!
Updated
Michelle’s Answer
Hello, Sophie !
I've read your inquiry carefully and would like to contribute some thoughts to help you think about what you've asked.
I will be frank with my advice and hope it does not come off too austere. You are not lazy, by the way. There is an underlying cause that is giving you an aversion to the experience of employment. You will need to get in touch with what is really bothering you since you said that you have worked before. What happened on that job ? What is telling you that working is a complete turn off ? Once you get in touch with the root cause, you will see that you can overcome it with some help. More life experience in a positive environment may help.
Here's where I will be a bit realistic, maybe, but this may help also. You will need to have one of your parents or a close adult friend take you to the worst part of your town or nearby inner city for a tour of a poverty stricken area. Start with the neighborhood surrounding the Berkshire Museum in downtown Pittsfield and venture into other areas. This will sort of be like aversion therapy for you or if you will a scared straight experience. Do not do this unaccompanied. It's not to whatsoever say that all poor people are criminals, they're not, but sometimes they have to live near them. Visit housing projects, visit an SRO building - rooms with either a bathroom or the bathroom is down the hall. Visit soup kitchens and stay there for a while. This is not a pleasant thing to suggest, but you need to be aware of poverty and what it could mean to not overcome your dislike for being independent and earning money to support yourself in the future.
If you never work, you will have to be dependent on the government for housing, income, food and medical care. It's hard to get subsidized housing right now and for the past 20 years. The amount of money you'd receive from welfare or Supplemental Security Income or Disability is absolutely not enough money per month to support anyone at this time and for about the past 20 years, welfare has not kept up with the cost of things. So it will be impossible to rely on welfare for money. You are going to need to resolve this issue as soon as possible because it will definitely affect your future well being and leave you with very little choices. So experience what it is like for people who are homeless, where poverty stricken people live and this may be a wake up call that helps you overcome not wanting to work. Learning first hand and in person the struggles people go through due to poverty will give you a different perspective and possibly ignite some motivation and a new outlook. Not all poor people are whatever, but there are certain amounts of struggles with living and safety issues and quality of life.
You can return here to be more specific about WHY you don't want to work. Better advice can be given if you are more detailed. My first career was Acting and then I transitioned into being a social service case manager and then back to acting, so I have worked with homelessness and poverty a lot for 27 years as a Case Manager with that population. Many of the people are indeed survivors, but it's a very hard life. You do not need that. You can achieve great things once you overcome the underlying feelings you have about working.
If these feelings persist, definitely return here and ask more detailed questions. Do not hesitate to reach out to community organizations that can help you come to terms with it. It's going to be important to overcome it because it means the quality of your future life. You have the potential to do anything you set your mind to, you just have to get to that place in order to start.
I hope this helps and I wish you all the best ! Keep reaching out.
I've read your inquiry carefully and would like to contribute some thoughts to help you think about what you've asked.
I will be frank with my advice and hope it does not come off too austere. You are not lazy, by the way. There is an underlying cause that is giving you an aversion to the experience of employment. You will need to get in touch with what is really bothering you since you said that you have worked before. What happened on that job ? What is telling you that working is a complete turn off ? Once you get in touch with the root cause, you will see that you can overcome it with some help. More life experience in a positive environment may help.
Here's where I will be a bit realistic, maybe, but this may help also. You will need to have one of your parents or a close adult friend take you to the worst part of your town or nearby inner city for a tour of a poverty stricken area. Start with the neighborhood surrounding the Berkshire Museum in downtown Pittsfield and venture into other areas. This will sort of be like aversion therapy for you or if you will a scared straight experience. Do not do this unaccompanied. It's not to whatsoever say that all poor people are criminals, they're not, but sometimes they have to live near them. Visit housing projects, visit an SRO building - rooms with either a bathroom or the bathroom is down the hall. Visit soup kitchens and stay there for a while. This is not a pleasant thing to suggest, but you need to be aware of poverty and what it could mean to not overcome your dislike for being independent and earning money to support yourself in the future.
If you never work, you will have to be dependent on the government for housing, income, food and medical care. It's hard to get subsidized housing right now and for the past 20 years. The amount of money you'd receive from welfare or Supplemental Security Income or Disability is absolutely not enough money per month to support anyone at this time and for about the past 20 years, welfare has not kept up with the cost of things. So it will be impossible to rely on welfare for money. You are going to need to resolve this issue as soon as possible because it will definitely affect your future well being and leave you with very little choices. So experience what it is like for people who are homeless, where poverty stricken people live and this may be a wake up call that helps you overcome not wanting to work. Learning first hand and in person the struggles people go through due to poverty will give you a different perspective and possibly ignite some motivation and a new outlook. Not all poor people are whatever, but there are certain amounts of struggles with living and safety issues and quality of life.
You can return here to be more specific about WHY you don't want to work. Better advice can be given if you are more detailed. My first career was Acting and then I transitioned into being a social service case manager and then back to acting, so I have worked with homelessness and poverty a lot for 27 years as a Case Manager with that population. Many of the people are indeed survivors, but it's a very hard life. You do not need that. You can achieve great things once you overcome the underlying feelings you have about working.
If these feelings persist, definitely return here and ask more detailed questions. Do not hesitate to reach out to community organizations that can help you come to terms with it. It's going to be important to overcome it because it means the quality of your future life. You have the potential to do anything you set your mind to, you just have to get to that place in order to start.
I hope this helps and I wish you all the best ! Keep reaching out.
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Gary’s Answer
You're not alone, Sophie. Everyone faces the challenge of finding a way to support themselves. It's important to discover something you love that also provides a sense of purpose.
When choosing a path, think about these three things:
1. What you enjoy
2. What you're good at
3. What can support you financially
Start by trying out different things, like volunteering or taking a part-time job, to see what you really like and where you can improve your skills. It's okay to make mistakes along the way. Enjoy the journey and learn from each experience.
When choosing a path, think about these three things:
1. What you enjoy
2. What you're good at
3. What can support you financially
Start by trying out different things, like volunteering or taking a part-time job, to see what you really like and where you can improve your skills. It's okay to make mistakes along the way. Enjoy the journey and learn from each experience.
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Brian’s Answer
Hi Sophie,
I felt the same way as you when I entered the work force. For me it was a difficult transition going from school to work, and it took a few years to figure out what worked for me. So here is my advice.
1. When starting out in the work place, the first thing you start doing is not the thing you will do for your entire life.
2. The people and culture in each work place can change depending on the (department, company, industry, region, etc), if your co-worked make you miserable, there is likely a place with a better culture for you somewhere.
3. Set short term achievable goals.
I felt the same way as you when I entered the work force. For me it was a difficult transition going from school to work, and it took a few years to figure out what worked for me. So here is my advice.
1. When starting out in the work place, the first thing you start doing is not the thing you will do for your entire life.
2. The people and culture in each work place can change depending on the (department, company, industry, region, etc), if your co-worked make you miserable, there is likely a place with a better culture for you somewhere.
3. Set short term achievable goals.
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Kory’s Answer
Hey Sophie, unfortunately, you never get over the dread of having a job. However you can find something you're passionate about and that you love and getting out of bed in the morning won't be so hard.
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Allen Charmaine’s Answer
You're at an age where you are just beginning to see how the adult world works - jobs, bills, schedules, pressure and it seems like life is just work forever. The little glimpses you have had prolly felt exhausting or meaningless and that fear kicks in, "is this really all there is?"
The dread is not actually about working, it about losing freedom and purpose. When you dont have a reason to work that you feel "yours', it just feels like punishment.
stop hating the idea of work - find ways to make it tolerable and even meaningful, since you are still in you high school, you got time to experiment with what 'work' means to you.
Try different things, volunteering, freelancing, create something small online or helping someone with a skill that you enjoy doing. You will learn that not all work feels like work.
The dread is not actually about working, it about losing freedom and purpose. When you dont have a reason to work that you feel "yours', it just feels like punishment.
Allen Charmaine recommends the following next steps:
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Mahima’s Answer
Hi Sophie, feeling nervous about jobs is completely normal, especially when you're just starting out. Many people worry about working forever, but jobs can offer much more than just hours on the clock. They can be a chance to learn new things, meet interesting people, and gain independence. Try to find work that matches what you enjoy or care about. Start with small steps like internships, volunteer work, or projects in areas you like. Over time, you'll see that work can be meaningful when it connects with your interests and goals. And remember, careers change over time—you won't be doing the same thing forever.
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Lola’s Answer
Hi Sophie, as someone who really enjoys their job, I would recommend finding a job in a subject that you enjoy. This might be a non-traditional job even something like dog-walking or babysitting. You don't necessarily need a traditional office job. I would think about the types of activities you enjoy in your free time and how you can turn that into a job and make money from it. Perhaps you really like painting - try to sell your paintings for money or teach a painting class. If no hobbies stick out to you, try new things and sign up for classes and activities to find an interest. I am currently taking an EMT class which leads to a non-traditional, non-office-type job. I would recommend thinking about what you like to do in your free time and what type of job you want - fast-paced or slow-paced? Do you want to work in an office? Do you want to work with other people? The options for jobs are endless and its not beneficial to narrow your options only to ones you dread. I wish you luck in this endeavor!