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how to get better at communication? How to communicate and speak calmly and naturally?
Im 17 and im aware i can't communicate prolly because of my parents.
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13 answers
Updated
LeighAnn’s Answer
Hi Paris! I'm really impressed by your self-awareness at 17. When you're working on your verbal communication, try practicing in front of a mirror or talking to yourself during a walk. This way, there's no pressure, and you can feel comfortable. Focus on speaking slowly, pronouncing your words clearly, and remembering to breathe. Pauses in between sentences might feel awkward at first, but they're actually helpful. They give you time to think and breathe. Confident speakers take their time to express their thoughts. Remember, getting better at communication is a journey, so enjoy practicing at your own speed!
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Rafael’s Answer
Hi Paris, it's impressive that you're aware of this at 17, since many people realize it much later. Communication is a skill you can develop with practice. Try starting with simple conversations, like ordering food or asking questions in person. Recording yourself talking can help you notice things like speaking too quickly or using filler words, and being aware of them helps you improve. To stay calm, slow your breathing before speaking and remember that pausing is okay. It's common to pick up habits from our environment, but you can change them. Joining clubs, participating in Toastmasters, or sharing your thoughts online are good ways to practice. Reading books like "How to Win Friends and Influence People" or listening to conversational podcasts can also help. Focus on being clear and honest rather than perfect, and keep practicing!
Thank you!
paris
Updated
Alexa’s Answer
Hi,
The best way to improve is to have someone in your life listen to you speak or record yourself! I recommend using a topic generator that gives you topics for mini speeches.
Whether you listen to it yourself or have someone else do it, pay close attention to your speed, tone, and vocabulary.
-Are you speaking too fast or slow?
-Are you monotone?
-Do you use many filler words?
Once you figure out exactly what your barriers to good communication are, keep practicing with those in mind. Eventually you’ll be great at communication! Good luck
The best way to improve is to have someone in your life listen to you speak or record yourself! I recommend using a topic generator that gives you topics for mini speeches.
Whether you listen to it yourself or have someone else do it, pay close attention to your speed, tone, and vocabulary.
-Are you speaking too fast or slow?
-Are you monotone?
-Do you use many filler words?
Once you figure out exactly what your barriers to good communication are, keep practicing with those in mind. Eventually you’ll be great at communication! Good luck
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Taylor’s Answer
Start by practicing active listening; focus on truly understanding what others are saying before responding. This helps you stay calm and thoughtful in conversations. When speaking, take a deep breath and slow down; it’s okay to pause and gather your thoughts. Confidence comes with practice, so look for opportunities to speak up in low-pressure situations, like with friends or in class discussions. Lastly, remember that communication is a skill; it’s okay to make mistakes as long as you keep learning and improving! :)
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Rebecca’s Answer
Thank you for your question.
Below are my suggestions:
1. Be open minded and don't be shy
2. Attend communications classes
3. Talk to some close friends and relatives
4. Join volunteer and recreation activities that needs to interact with people
Hope this helps! Good luck!
May Almighty God bless you!
Below are my suggestions:
1. Be open minded and don't be shy
2. Attend communications classes
3. Talk to some close friends and relatives
4. Join volunteer and recreation activities that needs to interact with people
Hope this helps! Good luck!
May Almighty God bless you!
Updated
Namahshivaya’s Answer
1. Speak slowly and try not to use filler words.
2. Be direct and stick to the main point you want to communicate.
3. Practice by recording yourself or speaking in front of a mirror to become more comfortable.
4. Listen well, as communication should be a two-way process.
5. Keep your thoughts clear and aim to be genuine, rather than trying to impress others.
6. Believe in yourself and organize your thoughts before speaking.
2. Be direct and stick to the main point you want to communicate.
3. Practice by recording yourself or speaking in front of a mirror to become more comfortable.
4. Listen well, as communication should be a two-way process.
5. Keep your thoughts clear and aim to be genuine, rather than trying to impress others.
6. Believe in yourself and organize your thoughts before speaking.
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Sean’s Answer
What really helped me was meditating or exercising before having an important conversation.
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Vianne’s Answer
Communicating can be challenging, especially if you haven't practiced much before. It's normal to feel unsure about expressing yourself or worrying about being misunderstood. The good news is you can get better with practice and patience. Everyone starts somewhere, so it's okay to take your time and be kind to yourself as you learn.
Begin by talking with people you feel comfortable with, like friends or family who listen well. You don't need to impress them, just share your thoughts naturally. Speak slowly and focus on one idea at a time instead of everything at once. Think of conversations as sharing, not performing, to reduce pressure and make speaking easier.
Practice on your own, too. Talk out loud about things you like, explain topics, or record yourself and listen back. This helps you notice how you sound and where you might rush or tense up. Over time, combining this with small real conversations makes speaking more natural and relaxed.
Begin by talking with people you feel comfortable with, like friends or family who listen well. You don't need to impress them, just share your thoughts naturally. Speak slowly and focus on one idea at a time instead of everything at once. Think of conversations as sharing, not performing, to reduce pressure and make speaking easier.
Practice on your own, too. Talk out loud about things you like, explain topics, or record yourself and listen back. This helps you notice how you sound and where you might rush or tense up. Over time, combining this with small real conversations makes speaking more natural and relaxed.
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Matthew’s Answer
The best advice I can give is to build up slowly.
1. Attend an event where someone is speaking.
2. Sit on the front row.
3. Ask the speaker a question after the event.
4. Ask the speaker a question during the event.
Each of these will build up your confidence speaking in front of others. So do at your own pace. It’s all about being comfortable speaking in front of others. When you’re ready to present yourself then be slow and clear. Let your passion come across. Remember that in most cases you know more than those listening. Think about the flow of what you want to say from start to end so there’s no jumping around. Don’t memorise a script but make bullet points if you need them.
1. Attend an event where someone is speaking.
2. Sit on the front row.
3. Ask the speaker a question after the event.
4. Ask the speaker a question during the event.
Each of these will build up your confidence speaking in front of others. So do at your own pace. It’s all about being comfortable speaking in front of others. When you’re ready to present yourself then be slow and clear. Let your passion come across. Remember that in most cases you know more than those listening. Think about the flow of what you want to say from start to end so there’s no jumping around. Don’t memorise a script but make bullet points if you need them.
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Patrick’s Answer
Hey Paris! It’s impressive that at 17, you’re already identifying these patterns—that awareness is your biggest leverage. While our upbringing shapes our "default settings," communication is a skill, not a fixed personality trait. To shift from reactive to calm, try these steps:
The Power Gap: When someone speaks, pause for two seconds before responding. This breaks the "fight or flight" reflex and keeps your tone level.
Low-Stakes Practice: Narrate your day out loud or chat with baristas. Natural speech comes from volume, not perfection.
Active Listening: Focus 100% on understanding the other person rather than "reloading" your next sentence; it removes the pressure to perform.
Separate the Past: Remind yourself that your current audience isn't your parents. You are safe to be heard now.
The Power Gap: When someone speaks, pause for two seconds before responding. This breaks the "fight or flight" reflex and keeps your tone level.
Low-Stakes Practice: Narrate your day out loud or chat with baristas. Natural speech comes from volume, not perfection.
Active Listening: Focus 100% on understanding the other person rather than "reloading" your next sentence; it removes the pressure to perform.
Separate the Past: Remind yourself that your current audience isn't your parents. You are safe to be heard now.
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Adaobi Maryann’s Answer
Hello Paris,
You’re not alone in this. I used to struggle with communication too because I was very shy.
One thing that helped me was starting small, in places where I felt comfortable. You can try talking more with your siblings or close friends, introduce a topic, share a song, or even start a small reading group.
Also, challenge yourself little by little. For example, try to ask or answer at least one question during class.
As you get more confident, consider joining a social group in school or church. Being active in these groups really helps you grow and become more comfortable speaking.
With time and consistency, you’ll definitely improve. Just be patient with yourself.
You’re not alone in this. I used to struggle with communication too because I was very shy.
One thing that helped me was starting small, in places where I felt comfortable. You can try talking more with your siblings or close friends, introduce a topic, share a song, or even start a small reading group.
Also, challenge yourself little by little. For example, try to ask or answer at least one question during class.
As you get more confident, consider joining a social group in school or church. Being active in these groups really helps you grow and become more comfortable speaking.
With time and consistency, you’ll definitely improve. Just be patient with yourself.
Updated
Cesar’s Answer
Hi Paris,
Think of this as a chance to grow and explore. Many people struggle with communication, so you're not alone.
Even those who seem to love talking can have their own challenges. Your situation is a great chance to build this important skill in the right way. You've already taken a big step by recognizing the issue and seeking help.
There are many great books and examples to learn from, but remember to find what works best for you. Communication should feel natural and true to who you are.
It's a skill you can develop with practice, and if you stick with it, you'll see amazing results. You don't have to spend a lot of money; there are excellent free resources like books and YouTube videos on effective communication.
Embrace this journey! God Bless you!.
Think of this as a chance to grow and explore. Many people struggle with communication, so you're not alone.
Even those who seem to love talking can have their own challenges. Your situation is a great chance to build this important skill in the right way. You've already taken a big step by recognizing the issue and seeking help.
There are many great books and examples to learn from, but remember to find what works best for you. Communication should feel natural and true to who you are.
It's a skill you can develop with practice, and if you stick with it, you'll see amazing results. You don't have to spend a lot of money; there are excellent free resources like books and YouTube videos on effective communication.
Embrace this journey! God Bless you!.
Updated
Yoav’s Answer
It is completely normal to feel a bit of pressure when you are trying to find your voice, but the fact that you care enough to ask this shows you are already on the right path. Improving your communication starts with becoming a great listener, because when you truly focus on what the other person is saying, it takes the spotlight off your own nerves and helps the conversation flow more organically. If you find yourself getting anxious or rushed, try to take a slow breath and remember that you don't have to fill every silence immediately; it is perfectly okay to pause for a second to collect your thoughts before you speak. Practice speaking with people you already feel comfortable with to build your confidence, and try to keep your body language relaxed, which naturally helps your tone stay calm and steady. You've got a unique perspective to share, and with a little patience, you'll find that speaking naturally becomes second nature to you. You are doing a great job working on yourself, and I wish you the very best of luck.