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should i quit band?

So i just joined band this august and i’m in color guard. now i absolutely love twirling my flag and being in the field and hearing that crowd in that huge football stadium we have at my school, but i hate everything else. i just got told i can’t perform at the game tomorrow or at competition on saturday simply because i missed tuesday’s one practice. i’ve never missed a practice before. ever. yet many of the other girls who are being allowed to perform have missed plenty, were late to the ones they did come to, are never prepared , and they’re still performing. favoritism is one thing that thrives in my band. i work hard for sure, practice any chance i get, show up to all practices, i missed one because i had surgery and they’re telling me i can’t perform. i know the routine and everything, they’re just using me as an example for all the other kids who wanna continue to miss practice. but that’s extremely unfair because it’s the only one i’ve missed. the seniors definitely do favoritism because my captain will have us standing at attention but then start talking to some of her senior friends who don’t have senority and are first years, allowing them to not be at attention . plus because of band, my grades are dropping tremendously. i was always an a , b, student, now i have two ds, two cs, and the rest are bs. my goal is to get into columbia university and i thought being in band would look great on my application but i won’t get in if i don’t have the grades. honestly, what should i do?? highschool marchingband band colorguard quitting shouldi quit columbia

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Kim’s Answer

Wow, that's a whole lot of issues to be dealing with!

First things first. If your grades are suffering BECAUSE of band, then, yes, you need to drop it. But have a real serious talk with yourself. Can you get your grades up without dropping band? Is it simply a case of needing better time management and self discipline? If you can learn to juggle competing priorities now, it will really help you in college, which is much more demanding. So, in that regard, I would say stick with it and push yourself to excel.

Next. We are talking about ONE game(plus competition) that you cannot perform in. They say it is because you missed ONE practice. Yet, others miss like crazy. My guess is that it is because you had surgery, and they don't think you are 100% yet, and are afraid of being responsible for you getting hurt. Even if you have a doctor's note that says you are okay. I'd say roll with it. Don't let it get to you.

Unfair/favoritism: That is life. Some things you fight. But, not everything. Some you have to let go, or it will destroy you. And once you start fighting, it gets worse before it gets better. My favorite thing to do when "they" are messing with me is to NOT show that it is getting to me. I went through a LOT of stuff at work. I was a cop. Everyone else could do whatever they wanted. If I as much as took a bathroom break without putting it on the radio, I'd get written up. I started making it a point to stay after work and go to the gym (we had a gym in the locker room). Smiled, laughed. Did NOT complain. About anything. It bothered THEM all the more!! (A supervisor who refused to discipline me for little stuff was ultimately fired, sued the department, and got a 6-figure settlement.)

Challenge yourself to be the best that YOU can be. YOU ultimately are accountable to YOURSELF. Forget about the others. What goes around comes around. Karma is real. Right now, mentally, you are in a bad place, because your attitude will show through, and actions follow attitude. Try to turn it around.

Quitting: There will be many times throughout life where it is easier to quit. That's the easy way out. The more often you quit, the easier it becomes to quit the next time. Yes, there are times to quit. But, quitting should be the option of last resort, NOT the first solution to the problem. Besides, you love twirling your flag!

Life is an interesting journey. Learning to navigate through some of the obstacles at a young age will help you tremendously. I hope something I have said here helps you through it.


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kaman’s Answer


Hi Karman, can you explain the reasoning behind your answer? It might help the student with their decision! Gurpreet Lally, Team