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How could someone prepare for losing a patient?

I am a pre-med biomedical science major and I know that I want to pursue surgery, I also know that as a surgeon there will come a time that I am not able to save a patients life and I would like some advice on how to prepare for the moment I love my first patient. #doctor #medicine #healthcare #pre-med #medical-school #doctorate-degree

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Allen’s Answer

There are several good books by medical doctors about their own experiences losing patients. I would ask a librarian to research and find a few books then read them to acclimate. As a doctor one thing you have to do is to maintain some detachment and be ready to accept the worst in case it happens. Just accept that while you are doing your best everyone dies eventually and nobody is perfect. Books about grieving and accepting death are important too, not just as a doctor but as a person. Eventually someone you care about will die.

Medically death is interesting as you learn a lot from the experience. Try to see the upside on how you can be a better doctor from it. Always try to reframe things into a positive so you can learn and grow from the experience somehow.

Here are some books I found.

That Good Night: Life and Medicine in the Eleventh Hour Paperback – March 3, 2020
https://www.amazon.com/That-Good-Night-Medicine-Eleventh/dp/0735223327/ref=sr_1_19?crid=382MR62BJKFA3&keywords=books+about+doctor+experiences+grief+dying&qid=1670340900&sprefix=books+about+doctor+experiences+grief+dying%2Caps%2C489&sr=8-19&asin=0735223327&revisionId=&format=4&depth=1

The Lost Art of Dying: Reviving Forgotten Wisdom Hardcover – Illustrated, July 7, 2020
https://www.amazon.com/Lost-Art-Dying-Reviving-Forgotten/dp/0062932632/ref=sr_1_19?crid=382MR62BJKFA3&keywords=books+about+doctor+experiences+grief+dying&qid=1670341122&sprefix=books+about+doctor+experiences+grief+dying%2Caps%2C489&sr=8-19

Preparing for a Better End: Expert Lessons on Death and Dying for You and Your Loved Ones Hardcover – November 17, 2020
https://www.amazon.com/Preparing-Better-End-Expert-Lessons/dp/1421439166/ref=sr_1_20?crid=382MR62BJKFA3&keywords=books+about+doctor+experiences+grief+dying&qid=1670341122&sprefix=books+about+doctor+experiences+grief+dying%2Caps%2C489&sr=8-20

Knocking on Heaven's Door: The Path to a Better Way of Death Paperback – June 10, 2014
"A thoroughly researched and compelling mix of personal narrative and hard-nosed reporting that captures just how flawed care at the end of life has become." (Abraham Verghese, T he New York Times Book Review).
https://www.amazon.com/Knocking-Heavens-Door-Better-Death/dp/1451641982/ref=sr_1_20?crid=382MR62BJKFA3&keywords=books+about+doctor+experiences+grief+dying&qid=1670340900&sprefix=books+about+doctor+experiences+grief+dying%2Caps%2C489&sr=8-20&asin=1451641982&revisionId=&format=4&depth=1

The Smooth River: Finding Inspiration and Exquisite Beauty during Terminal Illness. Lessons from the Front Line. Paperback – October 26, 2021
https://www.amazon.com/Smooth-River-Inspiration-Exquisite-Terminal/dp/1737503409/ref=sr_1_27?crid=382MR62BJKFA3&keywords=books+about+doctor+experiences+grief+dying&qid=1670341122&sprefix=books+about+doctor+experiences+grief+dying%2Caps%2C489&sr=8-27

Stories from the Emergency Department Kindle Edition
https://www.amazon.com/Stories-Emergency-Department-Mary-Engrav-ebook/dp/B004Y5NMYI/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3RIIC69PVH6RM&keywords=medical+doctor+emergency+department&qid=1670341313&refinements=p_72%3A1250221011&rnid=1250219011&s=books&sprefix=medical+doctor+emergency+department+%2Caps%2C74&sr=1-1

Farewell: Vital End-of-Life Questions with Candid Answers from a Leading Palliative and Hospice Physician Kindle Edition
https://www.amazon.com/Farewell-End-Life-Questions-Palliative-ebook/dp/B07H11PCQ2/ref=sr_1_5?crid=382MR62BJKFA3&keywords=books+about+doctor+experiences+grief+dying&qid=1670340900&sprefix=books+about+doctor+experiences+grief+dying%2Caps%2C489&sr=8-5
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Aaron A.’s Answer

No one ever wants to lose a patient, but patients are sick at times and no matter what you do you may lose some. It happens rarely unless you are doing Oncology or hospice work. If it does happen, you show empathy to the family and grieve in your own way when the time is appropriate. Everyone has their own methods to deal with stress. You should hopefully be developing that skill well before medical school due to life experiences!
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Madison’s Answer

Fortunately these instances (depending on what medical field you’re in) are rare but of course incredibly difficult. A lot of times it’s less common to lose a patient but to have smaller poor outcomes are also very troublesome. Having a good support system to talk these things through both with work colleagues who support you as well as therapists, family, friends is so important! Don’t ignore your feelings surrounding these events, talk them through, think through them, accept those feelings and think of how you can use this to do better for the next patient!
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