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How can I identify if what really are my weaknesses?

I am afraid of failures. #healthcare #medicine #college-bound

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Kim’s Answer

Great question Darren!

I'd like to expound on Jason's answer, item #5. Sometimes accepting our weaknesses is the best way to go. Two examples.

1. I was studying for a promotional exam in the police department. They give us LOTS of stuff to read. This includes the state penal code, traffic code, drug and alcohol codes, the department policy and procedure manual, the city's administrative directives, and, an entire textbook on policing! I decided to concentrate on the textbook, because I was only a few years out of college, and, pretty good at textbooks. I knew my competition didn't have this skill. This doesn't mean I ignored everything else - but I really worked on the textbook. My final score on the exam was 20 points higher than everyone else!

2. Driving Test. When I took the driving test, the first thing we had to do was parallel parking. I really couldn't get the hang of it. I knew if I truly tried to get those 4 points, that I would get so stressed out I wouldn't do well on the rest of the test. So, I sort of tried, but not really, then the trooper said to let's go do the rest of the test. No, I didn't pass parallel parking, but, I did pass the test.

Sometimes, it's better to strengthen your strengths than to stress over your weaknesses. This will also work somewhat on school tests. And, you can learn a lot more, and at a faster rate, when you are studying your strong subjects than when you are studying your weak subjects. Again, don't ignore the weaknesses - but work hard to improve the strengths! You can't be good at everything - that is why companies form teams, with team members who have different skills that compliment one another.
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Jason’s Answer

Hi Darren,

This is a great introspective question - and I commend you for even considering it. In my management role I often do employee assessments to help my team to improve. Here are a few suggestions that I have seen others use or have used myself.

1. Start with you. You likely already know several failings, tendencies, or weaknesses that you have. Perhaps you even have something that you have already overcome to some degree. This is always a good place to start, but should not be relied upon solely.

2. Watch out for self deception. When it comes to considering our failings as individuals many of us tent toward self deception. This can manifest in a number of ways, but there are two that I see most often in myself and others. First, some people are overly self-critical and end up feeling like they cant do anything right or have no talents or interests worth pursuing. Perfectionists are especially prone to this form of self deception because to them if something is not perfect its not good enough and therefore a failure. The second is the complete opposite. Some people tend to think that they are great, that everything they do is great, and they just cant understand why others don't appreciate their greatness. To these people, the problem is never owned but always deferred in order to blame someone or something else. Most of us to one degree or another fall into one of these two camps and sometimes even both but learning to identify where we deceive ourselves can be very instructive.

3. Turn to reliable sources. It can be very helpful to have a trusted friend or family member help you to identify your weaknesses. Lots of people can be a critic, but you want to look form someone who really knows you and loves you enough to tell you the truth. What they say can sometimes be hard to hear but you will often get the best feedback from those who care about you the most.

4. Don't eat the elephant. Once you have determined where your weaknesses lie you can begin to address them, but stop! This is the time to do some serous consideration. Tring to tackle everything at once is like trying to sit dons and eat an elephant - its just too big. Real change is usually a process that takes time so you have to be patient with yourself. setting attainable goals to improve and then accomplishing them will build the momentum that you need to overcome your weaknesses.

5. Acceptance. Some weaknesses are not going to be changed. Change what you can change and accept what cannot be changed. For example, people who are tone deaf are not likely to become great singers. This does not mean that they are failures, it simply means that this is not an area where they are likely to find success. Accepting what our weaknesses are and what we can and cannot change will help us to determine the best course of action moving forward.

6. Lastly, and probably most important is to know what success looks like for you. Knowing what you want to become as a person can help determine what weaknesses need to be changed and where to put your energies and efforts. Understanding the destination and charting a course of action will quickly reveal what challenges lie in your path that matter. Some weaknesses can be circumvented other must be overcome but either way you will make far more progress in life by striving toward the goal.

Best of luck to you!
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N’s Answer

There is no way to succeed without failing. This is just how life operates. If you don't make a mistake, do you ever learn? Life experiences will teach you what your weaknesses are. But if you want to be proactive about it and learn about your weakness, you can ask you surroudings, whether that is friends or family for candid feedback, where they see you could improve. You would have to be open for constructive criticism before doing so!
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Derek’s Answer

Lots of good formal answers on here to help track down what you weaknesses are. However, if you want the truth in what your weaknesses are, ask your friends and family. If you have an honest conversation with anyone you are close to, they can be honest back and let you know what they think your strengths and weaknesses are. It will be wonderful to open up about your traits with you peers. You will start to realize the kind of person you want to be around them and what they perceive of you.

You may have heard the saying "Be the kind of person that you would want to be friends with". Very similar. Think about what your friends think of you and try to identify your weaknesses that way.

Last thought - Weaknesses are what make you human. And the man on top of the mountain didn't fall there. He got there by hard work, tripping along the way, and persistence. Best of luck!
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Khushi’s Answer

Hey Darren!

Failure is something that can be scary to everyone, it can also be perceived as embarrassing and when we fail we tend to feel upset and lose our self-confidence. The main thing is not to be nervous or worried of failure - I myself was terrified of failing in several things such as exams, applying to university and even friendships, but I learnt that failure actually makes you a better person as you learn from it and grow/develop from that life experience.

Different experiences will highlight what your weaknesses may be and upon reflecting on those you can figure out what those weaknesses are and improve on them by thinking what can I do differently? If you're still unsure maybe ask someone you trust, whether thats your parent, siblings, friends or teachers they would be sure to help point you in the right direction.

Life is full of ups and downs and there's simply no way we can avoid them but keep going, be open minded and embrace when things go wrong - it gives you opportunity to improve on that area and grow as a person. Just remember that nobody is perfect!

- K
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Terry’s Answer

Hi Darren

Lots of great answers here. I did not read them all completely. I just want to say, "Do Not Be Afraid of Failure". Don't think of any opportunity that doesn't give you the results you or anyone else was looking for. Failure produces success in the long term.
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Sandy’s Answer

You can also take skill strength assessments online. Sometimes that helps you identify how you feel about certain skills and can help identify not only strengths, but also areas of opportunity. Failing is okay too! That's how we learn.
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Lira’s Answer

Hi Darren!

This is great question. I always have that principle in life where you won't find your strength and weaknesses without even trying to do something.

When I was a teen, I thought I was great public speaker but it turned out it was my weakness and made me improve myself by trying to practice it often. The more challenging part is when you thought you were good at it, but you really are not, and that's the next part, acceptance. Accepting that you are not good at some certain points is the first part to overcome weaknesses. That is the only time you will be able to identify and to learn how to improve and make things possible.

I believe that weakness per se is just a term, because I always believe that weaknesses is not something we inherit but something we are not able to access or develop. People who does not have access, does not have enough knowledge or other resources can sometimes lack on those things, but if you pursue and worked on whatever you have, those "weaknesses"that you thought cannot be improved, will eventually improve. So keep pressing and move forward.!

Have a great day!
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Rose Anne’s Answer

HI Darren,

Please note that it is really okay to experience failure as biggest success in life comes from the learnings we have from mistakes/ failures we experience. Just take the example of the owner of KFC, he failed more than a hundred times before he succeed so It is really okay to fail.

To answer your other question, you can really determine your weakness as you experience it. You can take an online assessment but that's not 100% accurate. I was able to determine that my real weakness when started working.
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Haven’s Answer

What usually comes with failure are feelings of disappointment, sorrow, and embarrassment. However, failures are part of life. As bad they are to experience, it helps people learn and grow. Instead of running away from failure, people must face it. That said, it is not an easy thing to do. I'm fearful of disappointing my parents and myself if I don't make out a successful career after college. However, one thing that has helped me pushed past these barriers and fear are knowing that at the end of the day, I know everything is going to work out; good or bad, I will learn from the experience and situation I'm in, and I'm going use that knowledge to prepare myself for what's next in the future. Put in another way, failure will always be there. People can't run away from facing failure, and if they do--then they will never reach their full potential, they will never realize growth, and they will always be stagnant--while the people that do face failure, will be at better places even though they had experienced a failure. Overall, my best advice is this: people should face failure with open arms, learn from it--not make the same mistake, but move on with new critical knowledge to face the future. Failure is just as important as success in order to achieve greatness.
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Viviana’s Answer

Hi Darren,

I´d say that this world is scary and it is even more , because of the expectations that we , as individuals and as society have . Mistakes are a part of life and I read somewhere that you learn more of a mistake than anything else . I encourage you to keep going to wherever it is you wanna get to and enjoy the ride with the ups and also its downs . To be open minded and to always have present that mistakes make you who you are and just learn from them to grow personally and professionally .
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