Ciara
How can a shy person be successful in college?
I love hanging out with people and participating in activities. However, I feel very uncomfortable when I don't know anyone in the room, so often I stay in and keep to myself. When I'm with a bunch of strangers, I feel like the odd one out and have difficulty getting comfortable enough to establish personal and professional relationships. Also, if I have a question in class, I tend to try and figure it out myself instead of asking the teacher, because when I do, I feel like a bother. Any tips on how to get over this and get involved? #college #college-advice #friendship #college-success
10 answers
Ken Simmons
Ken’s Answer
From my own experience, you overcome this. Here are some suggestions that might help:
Networking for Introverts
https://www.themuse.com/advice/an-introverts-guide-to-networking
I agree with the other answers about it coming down to practice. I'm not sure if you're a first generation college student or not, but I was and I found asking questions in class difficult just because I had been taught growing up to avoid asking for help unless you really need it. Truth is in college asking questions and going to office hours is also a networking exercise, so definitely practice it—you may need professors for recommendations.
Also, remember that plenty of people feel the same nervousness you do. If you find yourself hoping someone strikes up a conversation, remember that someone else in the room probably feels the same way. I think spinning it that way makes it easier to be the one to strike up a conversation.
Karissa Austin
Richard A.
Richard’s Answer
Join pre-professional societies. Making connections for your future career is harder for introverts, so get started early.
Zach Nahman
Zach’s Answer
As far as being successful in other areas of college, it can be harder if you're shy. I felt shy at college too. So many new places and people. I found myself just "pretending" that I was social. I would think "what would a social person do in this situation" and I would try to do that. Fake it until you make it! The truth is that EVERYONE is scared in college. Some are just better at hiding it.
Being social can be draining if you're an introvert, so remember to make time for self-care.
Rachel Weinheimer
Rachel’s Answer
ankit palankit572@gmail.com
ankit’s Answer
Cristal Banh
Cristal’s Answer
Definitely understandable to feel shy in a new environment with new people. Like everyone said above, practice practice practice! You'll find that you will be more and more comfortable in these situations after putting yourself out there more often.
I think joining different clubs and organizations that you care about is also helpful. It places you in a community of people who have similar interests (that's already a starting point for a conversation)!
Good luck! College is a great experience and you'll learn a lot about communication as the years go by (:
Kathy To
Kathy’s Answer
I totally struggled with being a shy person, and it can be difficult to break out of that shell. I think practicing slowly is the best route. I can assume that you're a non-confrontational person. If you're afraid to raise your hand in class, maybe start with emailing your professor or TA your question after class instead, since you're behind a screen and not directly in front of them.
In terms of making friends and joining clubs, it's easy to have those voices in your head telling you that you're the awkward one out who doesn't fit in. I think what helps is asking other people questions about themselves because (1) it takes the focus away from you, (2) people love talking about themselves, and that can keep the conversation going for a while, and (3) you can improve your listening skills. Instead of feeling like you have to tell jokes, be interesting, or have a great story, your goal can just be to learn about another person.
Good luck!
Tracy Huang
Tracy’s Answer
I think it comes all down to practicing. For asking questions, try to have 1-2 questions you want to ask in advance during class. Even if it is something you think you might know, asking questions will help you get used to speaking up in class. Other students can also learn from the ideas that you have, if it helps to think about it in that way too. When you ask questions as they come up, they can save you a lot of heartache later when you're trying to complete the assignments for the class (because often a lot of times concepts build on each other). One other thing to consider doing is going to office hours for questions that might take a while to answer, but you may want to consider not leaning only on this (or it will become a pattern of avoidance). Finally if you have anxiety speaking up in class or general social anxiety, consider utilizing your school's counseling center to help you come up with strategies to manage it.
Jacob Schwarber, CPA
Jacob’s Answer
Hi, Ciara,
I think Tracy is absolutely right - getting over your aversion to interacting with people you don't know and asking questions in class all comes down to practicing. Have the discipline to push yourself outside of your comfort zone each day. Tracy's suggestions for speaking in class are applicable to social situations too. Challenge yourself to start a conversation with a stranger each day. It doesn't have to be anything ground breaking - make small talk with the person next to you in line for coffee or checking out a book in the library. Smile at a stranger you pass walking to class. Strive to make small, incremental changes each day, and I think you will surprise yourself at how much easier interacting with people you don't know gets.
You will get out of your college experience what you put into it. Staying in your room all of the time is not a recipe for success. Many of your peers feel the same way you do right now. A great way to meet new people is to find and join organizations you are interested in. Get involved, meet new people, make mistakes! You will feel uncomfortable at first and the first months may be very difficult but I promise you that the juice will be worth the squeeze in the end.
I hope this helps - don't hesitate to reach out. Good luck!
James Constantine Frangos
James Constantine’s Answer
Guidelines for a Shy Individual to Flourish in College
Tackling Social Anxiety
Shyness in college can pose certain difficulties, particularly in socializing and forming connections. However, you can adopt certain strategies to conquer social anxiety and prosper in a college environment.
1. Take Baby Steps
Start by slowly stepping outside your comfort zone. Participate in smaller gatherings or events where the crowd size doesn't feel daunting. This can help you gradually adapt to social interactions and boost your self-assurance.
2. Participate in Clubs or Societies
Engaging in clubs or societies that align with your interests is a fantastic way to encounter people with similar passions. Common activities pave the way for natural conversation starters, making it easier for you to bond with others.
3. Be Present at Campus Events
Colleges frequently organize a variety of events, ranging from academic lectures to social get-togethers. Attending these events exposes you to diverse social environments and chances to interact with new people.
4. Reach Out for Help
Don't hesitate to utilize campus resources that provide support for students grappling with social anxiety or shyness. Services like counseling or peer support groups can offer invaluable advice and motivation.
Boosting Confidence in Classroom Settings
It's common for shy people to feel reluctant about asking questions in class, but it's crucial to overcome this hurdle for academic achievement.
1. Understand Everyone Is on the Same Boat
Remind yourself that asking questions is an integral part of learning. Your professors are there to assist you in comprehending the material better, so don't hesitate to seek explanations when necessary.
2. Prepare Your Questions in Advance
If asking questions spontaneously makes you uncomfortable, consider noting down any questions that come up during your study time. This way, you can refer to them in class and feel more equipped to seek clarification.
3. Practice Being Assertive
Begin to assert yourself in academic settings by initiating small interactions, such as seeking clarification on assignments or discussing course content with peers. As you gain comfort, you'll likely find it easier to interact with your professors as well.
Seizing Opportunities for Personal Growth
College isn't just about academics; it's also a period for personal growth and evolution. By pushing yourself to step outside your comfort zone and seeking help when required, you can confidently navigate social situations and maximize your college experience.
Top 3 Credible Sources Referenced in this Response:
Psychology Today
Harvard Health Publishing
American Psychological Association
STAY BLESSED!
James Constantine Frangos.