Not letting stress show is a decision you make and a promise to yourself.
When a situation arises, you have a choice - you can react emotionally towards it and let your stress level rise or you can control it by telling yourself that this too will resolve itself and can be handled.
Remember this also - if you show others that you are stressing, then everyone around you will also become stressed. So if you don't like being around stressful people then don't be stressed yourself.
You are in control of your level of stress.
Having given key speeches in a large auditorium to a thousand people, presented proposals to small groups of executives, led discussions in groups of a dozen or more leaders as well as presented question and answer sessions to Global Newspaper and television reporters; stress at least for me is a given.
FIrst, as you prepare for the event you will conduct some very serious examination of the facts, context and repercussions of the subject or proposal you will address. You will likely anticipate questions and potential responses as well as practice your talk in front of a mirror. In other words, through your research and development of your proposal/discussions points you will undoubtedly know more about your subject than anyone in the room or auditorium. Realizing that focus will somewhat relax you.
Next, you should casually speak with folks who will be in the audience or group you are leading. You can then employ their names during your leading of the event. That confirms that you have input from the audience and makes the members you mention feel good about themselves.
Also, you should visit the site where you will give the speech or lead the discussion to make sure you are familiar with the setting and that all of the technical support tools (computer, large screens, software, lighting, sound equipment) are all working.
Before such an event, i would personally listen to rock music that would put me in a mood to be happy and relaxed. i would also tell myself that I am great and that people will wildly accept my messages.
Of course, there are other times you will be nervous as well as stressed. Another ploy i would ask myself is what if I bomb? What can they do to me? At worst, I will be fired. So, if that happens I have a network that will help me to find another better job.
Hopefully, this may offer some comfort to you. The basic message is that stress is good. It means you want to be successful. If you research, plan, practice and prepare you will do well. You may not require the rock music or the self induced "I am great" messages. But, it beats hiding in the bathroom, sick in the stomach with over powering stress. And yes, that is where it all began for me.
Bob recommends the following next steps:
Great question! Stress is something that will always occur in your life, particularly work. To have the skills to deconstruct the stress and use that in a more productive manner is probably one of the best things you will do for yourself.
Everyone manages stress differently, however I have found the below have helped me:
- If I am really stressed at work and therefore unproductive, go home and talk to a friend or family member and take the day off so you can relax and go in with fresh eyes the next day.
- Manage your time appropriately, plan out your tasks
- Yoga/ exercise really helps me. I enjoy going for runs if I need to clear my head
- confiding in people who are higher than me, to see what advice they have to deal with a particular situation. A problem shared is a problem halved!
- Realize that stress is not going to help you solve an issue, and in the big scheme of the world, I am sure over time it is not a big deal
- Go for a walk or a coffee aroun your office to clear your head
- Get a massage :)
- Exercise first thing in the morning: I notice that even a 20 minute workout (whether it is a walk, jog, or full body workout) helps me get energized for the day ahead
- Eat a good breakfast: Make sure that you have food that you enjoy in the morning to have plenty of energy for the day ahead
- Meditate for 2 minutes: I just go to youtube and search for “2 minute meditation” and pick one from the list of search results
- Plan my day: I use a trello board to keep track of the things that I want to accomplish in the day. Being intentional about writing down the things that are important to me and that are going to help me make progress towards my goals has been very helpful
- At the end of the day, I take 5 minutes to acknowledge and be grateful for the work that I completed. Making sure that you also celebrate the small wins of the day is a great way to end your workday.
I hope that this helps you in your quest to manage stress, best of luck!
Great question and I’m sure you are not the only one with this on your mind. I have found it helpful to prioritize my time. For me, faith and family come first. A great work ethic, showing up on time, doing your job exceptionally well and being a strong team player can help you in many ways.
As Robert shared in his answer, preparing as much as you can ahead of time for presentations or something you need to accomplish is key. I also like his mention of music which can help get you in the mood and frame of mine for something you need to complete. The right music can calm, relax and even get you pumped up to do great things. When I was in college, my roommate and I would sometimes take a break for studying for exams with what we called “party for a minute.” We’d put on an upbeat song to dance or sing-along to. Once the song was over, we felt refreshed and ready to go back to studying, writing a paper, or whatever it was we needed a quick break from.
I use my phone to schedule reminders and block times on my calendar for reading, studying, eating lunch or exercising. Make time for yourself so you can do what you need to do that works best for managing stress. If you don’t start there, it will be harder to manage stress and function in other areas of your life.
On days where it is particularly hectic or stressful for me, I try to take mini-breaks and just step away for a few minutes and walk up and down stairs, or sit in a dark room and just breathe or meditate, walk outside for a few minutes, etc.
Humor is also a big part of my life and way I manage stress. I try to keep a great sense of humor about me and not take myself so seriously. After all, we’re all human and we’re all going to be stressed at times in our life. How you manage it is key.
Best wishes for success in your future goals.
Melisa recommends the following next steps:
Some key things to remember are:
1. Nothing and no one can “make” you feel anything
How you feel and the way you deal with a situation is a choice. You cannot control others’ actions, but you can be responsible for your reactions.
Look at the situation and ask yourself “is this something I can change?” If so, start exploring positive ways to change the situation. If the situation cannot be changed, accept it for what it is. Accepting does not mean giving up. By accepting the situation and finding ways you can cope with what cannot be changed, stress can be drastically reduced.
2. Exchange attitude for gratitude.
Our attitude has a profound effect on how we deal with situations. Negative attitudes affect our physical, spiritual, and mental well-being. For example: When you are running late for a meeting because you are stuck in traffic, change your attitude. Instead of being frustrated about the traffic, find some gratitude. Focusing on gratitude can definitely change your attitude.
3. Relax, relax, relax.
If we do not help ourselves, how can we effectively help others? Relaxation rejuvenates the body, mind, and spirit and leaves us better equipped to handle stressful situations when they come. Try to find something that you enjoy and do it every day. Many people state they don’t have time to relax, but relaxation does not have to be time-consuming. Relaxation can include periodic 5-10 minute breaks of breathing exercises or watching your favorite show for 30 minutes. Relaxation can also include connecting with positive people.
4. Look at the big picture.
Evaluate your stressful situation from a “big picture” point of view. Ask yourself “how important is this?” and “will this matter in the long run?” If the answer is no, it’s likely not worth your time and energy.
Stress isn't something that I find creeping into my work or home life. However, I have experienced stress with people and teams that I interact with. I usually advise any number of things to help relieve it. There are two things that are common in what I see. One is people not effectively managing their time and resources while trying to tackle multiple things at the same time. The other is not fully understanding the task that they are working to deliver.
A few examples of things to help overcome those obstacles are:
1. Ask for the priority of the work you are being asked to deliver
- When is this due?
- Should it be prioritized ahead of other work?
- Are there others that I should engage to help with the work?
2. Ask a lot of questions of the person requesting the work
- Ask what the expected outcome is?
- Understand the details, not just the ask
- It's not enough sometimes just to understand the ask if you don't understand the details of subject you are working on
3. Dedicate time to the deliverable and do not deviate from it
- Don't allow others including calls or meetings to distract from completing the work
- Set time on your calendar to work on the deliverable and deliver it
Hope that helps!
Everyone experiences stress at work at some point and everyone reacts differently to stress.
For me, I try to manage my day and work so that I prevent stress in the first place. That means keeping a to-do-list every day, being organised, learning to manage my time and communicating well with my colleagues.
If my work load does become stressful this is what I do.
1. Detailed to-do-list. At the end of the day, I list every single thing I need to do the following day from the big urgent tasks to the tiny small ones (even things like going to the dry-cleaner) . I list everything. As I complete those tasks I cross them off my list. I have 3 highlighter pens - pink, yellow, blue. Pink I use when a task is completely finished. Yellow a task that is still being actioned. Blue when that task is not completed by the end of the day. I move those things to the following day. I also order my to-do-list numerically so that I know which task is the most important to complete first. This helps me to manage my time and prevents me from forgetting anything.
2. Ask for help. - Another benefit of keeping a to-do-list is that it is good data to keep track of how I am managing my work load and information to provide to my manager/team when things risk of getting away from me. If my normal to-do-list is 12 items and suddenly it's 30 then I know that its time to seek out help or to at least inform my team that Im extra busy. Trust me, everyone appreciates it when you tell them sooner rather than later if things are getting too much for you to manage yourself. Trying to do it all yourself out of pride or sense of duty will only lead to mistakes which may cause a bigger problem down the line.
3. Talking to your team and manager and asking for support is very important. Most employers are aware of the importance of looking after our mental health. Eat healthy, exercise, take regular breaks, get fresh air, drink water, take time for yourself, make friends at work. All these things help you to manage your stress levels, your mental health and keep you happy in your job.
We all need to be aware of what comes out of us whenever we land in the stressful "hot water" situations.
Personally, I truly believe how we process stressful situations depends on our past and how we've overcome any situations that may trigger negative responses. There are some that immediately process stress in a negative way (shutting down emotionally, coping with substances, etc) and some that process in positive ways (organizing processes to make them less chaotic, working out, pouring yourself into a hobby, etc).
I used to fall into the negative by shutting down, however through counseling, leadership coaching, as well as learning from the past and watching other leaders around me, I was able to pull really healthy processing aspects from those.
I'd highly stress that self-care is super important here as specific items for dealing with stress can vary from person to person as we handle it very differently. I'd advise you find what works for you, calms your mind, and brings you focus in the moment!
As you close each day, review your list... If you can only get one thing done tomorrow, what would it be? Move it to the top of the list. Then, look at the balance of your list... If you can add (2) more priorities for tomorrow, what would they be? Move them behind #1.
Get a good night's rest. When you wake, get ready, have breakfast, etc... Once you're ready to start your day, grab your device (try not to until you're really ready to start your day), review your list again, in case anything has changed overnight. Start with #1, 2, then 3. If you don't get anything else done, don't worry about it...There's always tomorrow.
If you follow this approach, over time you will make meaningful progress against your list, you'll do your best work, and you'll spend the right amount of time/effort on top priorities vs. procrastinating. People will notice it in your personal and professional life.
If you are dealing with a stressful project, try and prioritise what needs to be done 1st and do it calmly, don't rush it. Hurrying up to finish something will only add stress and you are more prone to errors - create a bullet point list of everything and check if off as you go (the satisfaction of ticking the off is real :) ) - ask for help when needed and work as a team!
what I have found useful for me is:
- Breathing exercises
- Removing myself from the situation for 30mins/1h and then coming back to it with a calmer mind
- Meditation - good apps are Calm and Headspace
- Talking/Venting to a trusted person/friend
(1) If it is ongoing, you need to find a way to get away from it (to a totally different location), do something else and think. Also importantly share the problem with friends dont just take it all on yourself.
(2) If it is something you need to deal with on the spot, the answer really depends on what it is you are dealing with. Is it (a) a situation that is normal to humans (getting a vaccination, making a speech) or (b) something that is not normal (bullying, etc)?
(a) If it is normal, speak to someone who has done it and let them know you are stressed. They can help as they have been through it before.
(b) If it isn't, make sure you get out of it asap - share the problem with people you trust and don't stay. There are plenty of jobs/relationships out there. Don't get stuck in a situation that isn't right.
1.--Nothing and no one can “make” you feel anything. How you feel and the way you deal with a situation is a choice. I’m reminded of a counselor who would often state “no one can drive your car unless you give them the keys.” You cannot control others’ actions, but you can be responsible for your reactions.
The serenity prayer states “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” When applied, this can be a great stress reliever. Look at the situation and ask yourself “is this something I can change?” If so, start exploring positive ways to change the situation.
If the situation cannot be changed, such as an illness or the economy, accept it for what it is. Accepting does not mean giving up. By accepting the situation and finding ways you can cope with what cannot be changed, stress can be drastically reduced.
2.--Exchange attitude for gratitude. Our attitude has a profound effect on how we deal with situations. Negative attitudes affect our physical, spiritual, and mental wellbeing.
When in a particularly stressful situation, try exchanging attitude for gratitude. When you are running late for a meeting because you are stuck in traffic, change your attitude. Instead of being frustrated about the traffic, find some gratitude. Look around and think of all the things you can be thankful for. Sometimes you can find gratitude in the smallest things. You can be thankful for life, health, strength, friends, family, nature, etc. Focusing on gratitude can definitely change your attitude.
3.--Relax, relax, relax. Amidst the hustle and bustle of everyday life, sometimes we forget to take care of ourselves. If we do not help ourselves, how can we effectively help others? Relaxation rejuvenates the body, mind, and spirit and leaves us better equipped to handle stressful situations when they come.
Try to find something that you enjoy and do it every day. If you can set aside time for relaxation, do it. Try to set aside a designated, uninterrupted time and stick to it. Many people state they don’t have time to relax, but relaxation does not have to be time-consuming. Relaxation can include periodic 5-10 minute breaks of breathing exercises or watching your favorite show for 30 minutes. Relaxation can also include connecting with positive people.
4.--Look at the big picture. Evaluate your stressful situation from a “big picture” point of view. Ask yourself “how important is this?” and “will this matter in the long run?” If the answer is no, it’s likely not worth your time and energy.
Stress does not have to be a part of life. Success stress management is all about learning how and when to take control. It’s important to remember that you control how stress affects you. You can control the stress or let stress control you.
One of the most important ways we combat stress is to stay healthy and active while keeping an optimistic attitude. Goal setting and relaxation techniques such as, deep breathing exercises reduce stress and ease the physical and emotional burden it can take. When people set goals for themselves, they have a positive sense of commitment, feel they're in control, and are optimistic. Remember to always take a step back from the situation and look at the big picture on what is causing stress. Creating a list of priority items you want to accomplish during the day to help with a starting point and managing the stressful items.
If your stress is avoidable then take action to better the situation that is creating the stress.
If it is unavoidable then here are some suggestions:
* Physical exercise and stretching can relieve stress
* Find activities and people that can offset the stress with
* Isolate yourself and regain composure
* Vent to a friend who is willing to listen
1. Going for a walk or doing some exercise to take your mind off things. Getting blood/oxygen flowing throughout your body helps to clear your mind and allow you to make decisions that aren't overrun by emotion.
2. Talking things through with a manager/mentor/friend and asking for their perspective on the situation or just having someone listen to you. This allows you to understand why you are stressed and ways to mitigate the stressful situation.
3. Meditation and mindfulness are great skills to have when you're faced with a stressful situation. Taking a moment to understand why you are feeling these feelings instead of acting immediately often leads you to taking steps to mitigate the situation.
I manage stress in my life in a few ways. 1) I make choices not to make sure that all the important areas of my life get enough attention - and one area should not get more attention than another. For example, not working too much and ignoring family; or the other way around, playing too much and not getting my work done. 2) I make sure I take time for myself each day to do something that makes me happy. Examples are, reading a book I like, taking a quiet walk, playing board games with my family.
I hope you find something here that will help answer your question.
Stress is part of everyday life, it actually gives us the reason to fix things up and make use of our skills and competencies and become better.
Jackie recommends the following next steps:
When work or life gets stressful, I try to always take a step back and take a deep breath. This helps me quickly assess what is happening and how I can help. If you are talking about a confrontation with an upset/anger person, I like to put myself in their shoes to see what they are struggling with and to see how I can help.
To get to the root of a client's issue, I like to use The Sandler Pain Funnel
These questions, in order, are:
“Tell me more about that…’
“Can you be more specific? Give me an example.”
“How long has that been a problem?”
“What have you tried to do about that?”
“How did that work?”
“How much do you think this has cost you?”
“How do you feel about that?”
“Have you given up trying to deal with the problem?”
Matthew recommends the following next steps:
I'd personally recommend checking out Headspace or Calm to start trying out meditation. I've found a lot of value in meditating on an almost daily basis. Just ten minutes a day can have a profound effect on how you manage your emotions and stress.
This is an important and great question.
Nikki recommends the following next steps:
Stress is part of everyday life, it actually gives us the reason to fix things up and make use of our skills and competencies and become better.
Jackie recommends the following next steps:
When facing stressful situations at work that you might not be able to step away from for an extended period of time I try to do some breathing exercises, go meditate for a couple of minutes or take a walk.
I hope this helps, best of luck!
This Forbes article has some really great advice about calming your brain in stressful situations.
This is a great question and honestly with each situation you can handle it differently. For me, when I get stressed I tend to stop what I am doing and take a few breaths. I then think about some good things happening in my life to try and calm myself down. After about 20 minutes I look at the situation again. Sometimes the things that stress us out are minimal and if we take a step back and relax for a bit we can look at it again with fresh eyes and the stress minimizes itself.
It is also good to have a confidant to bounce ideas and thoughts off of. If it is a situation that you think you cant handle alone having someone to guide you and give advice can help you move forward. Having a Mentor or coach can give you a sounding board to bounce ideas and thoughts off of. The one thing I would say is take care of yourself and don't let the stress bring you down in other areas.
This is a great questions! Stress is apart of daily life and learning how to manage your stress is extremely important. Through the years I have adapted and learned several ways of dealing with stress. The type of stress depends on how I handle it as well. In my line of work I at times deal with escalated customers or have to have tough conversations with employees/peers or a project that comes up and needs to be competed ASAP. When dealing with these situations it is important to hear out the other person and ask open ended questions so you can have as much information as possible to help resolve the situation. If you struggle to have tough conversations or don't like confrontation I would recommend reading the book Fierce Conversations, this book has helped me become 100% more comfortable when dealing with these situations and has also allowed me to reach a resolution with the other person.
How I deal with stress at home is a little different. If I have a lot of things that I need to complete at home I am a big fan of making list. I will choose how many things for the day I need to complete and when I am done with this I will mark it off. This helps me feel more accomplished for the day and allows me to enjoy the rest of the day versus thinking that I should be doing something else. I also think it is extremely important for you to have something that is for yourself and you do it at least once a week if not more. Some of the things I do for myself is scrap-booking, listen to music, build Legos, some sort of workout, and just listening to music.
Always take a deep breath to think clearly. Everyone deals with stressful situations differently and finding the right way to manage it is essential.
One thing that works for me is to think about the worst thing that could happen and it's never that bad... You will always learn from the different situations you get in and that's imporant to keep in mind.
Another advice is that, it's really important to raise your hand when we have problems or things that we don't know how to manage. There's nothing bad in asking for help when needed and delegating activities when we need to!
- Managing your time and determining your top priorities is key.
- Prioritize your tasks to ensure those with the most impact or earliest deadline or at the top
- Use your resources, delegate and ask for help.
Emotional reactions to stress are natural, but we don't have to act on them. Stress will trigger that emotional fight or flight instinct you have. When you realize that's happening teach yourself to PAUSE and breathe, review the situation and determine the best next step to take before reacting. The initial anxiety you're experiencing will subside and allow you to make a more meaningful and effective decision.
So, you need to do something about that. Go for a walk and overthink why this is happening and why you have stress. Can you do something about it? If yes, do it. Is it not within your control? Talk with your manager and address this. There is nothing more you can do?
When the problem/stress is gone after certain amount of time you will look back and think why did I get stress from this? If you don't have the answer you will probably face it again.
The only solution that works for me is to know the reasoning behind the stress and being honest to myself and learn from it and change my behaviour if possible