5 answers
Paige
Student
Provo, Utah
1
Question
Asked
493 views
How can I balance my career hopes with my hopes to support and love my family?
I have big dreams! I want to be a computer scientist, an engineer, and an entrepreneur, and honestly, I intend on working towards each of those goals throughout my life.
I also plan on having a family, but I want advice on things that worked well, and maybe pitfalls to avoid.
Thank you for any help and advice you can offer!
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5 answers
Karin P.
Lecturer, Academic Advisor, Career Coach
578
Answers
Göttingen, Lower Saxony, Germany
Updated
Karin’s Answer
Hi Paige,
There is no one-size-fits-all answer to this question. There are just too many variables.
Some have kids early and start professionally when the kids are a bit older. Some have kids while they study and work. Some leave kids for later in life when they are established professionally. Nobody can say what is right for you. Do you have the financial means to support yourself/family if you have kids early? Do you have family support for child-care while you are busy? Are you comfortable with having your kids in child-care early? Do you have a supportive partner who pulls their weight?
And even if you can answer all these questions, you don't know what life will bring. Maybe you'll meet your future partner early. Maybe you'll meet your future partner later in life. Maybe you'll decide on kids without a partner. Maybe your partner is already established and can support you. Maybe your future partner is also a computer engineer and wants to build a business with you.
The things that you can do:
You'll need to solve the 2-body problem, i.e. plan career options in a way that you and your partner study/work in the same city. Long-term relationships seldom work long-term. Use partner programs if you can. You are going to need lots of help around the house and with child-care to be able to put in the hours at work. Look for employers that are family-friendly and offer child-care options. Universities are some of the most flexible employers. If possible stay near family/friends who are willing and able to help out with child-care. Expect life to be hectic and messy for a while.
I hope this helps! All the best to you!
KP
There is no one-size-fits-all answer to this question. There are just too many variables.
Some have kids early and start professionally when the kids are a bit older. Some have kids while they study and work. Some leave kids for later in life when they are established professionally. Nobody can say what is right for you. Do you have the financial means to support yourself/family if you have kids early? Do you have family support for child-care while you are busy? Are you comfortable with having your kids in child-care early? Do you have a supportive partner who pulls their weight?
And even if you can answer all these questions, you don't know what life will bring. Maybe you'll meet your future partner early. Maybe you'll meet your future partner later in life. Maybe you'll decide on kids without a partner. Maybe your partner is already established and can support you. Maybe your future partner is also a computer engineer and wants to build a business with you.
The things that you can do:
You'll need to solve the 2-body problem, i.e. plan career options in a way that you and your partner study/work in the same city. Long-term relationships seldom work long-term. Use partner programs if you can. You are going to need lots of help around the house and with child-care to be able to put in the hours at work. Look for employers that are family-friendly and offer child-care options. Universities are some of the most flexible employers. If possible stay near family/friends who are willing and able to help out with child-care. Expect life to be hectic and messy for a while.
I hope this helps! All the best to you!
KP
Hi Karin! I was reading other people's questions and I loved your comment so I just wanted to say thank you! I unfortunately don't have any advice to provide to you Paige as I'm only a high school student but best of luck!
Marissa
Jennifer Gonzalez
Telecommunications supervisor
9
Answers
Mastic, New York
Updated
Jennifer’s Answer
For your careers goals, test the waters 1st. You may get deep into a degree program and realize its not for you and you would have wasted a lot of time and money on a dead end. Start by talking to a school advisor and take courses that are relevant to all your goals that are applicable to all the degree programs your interested in. Then add in your specific courses as electives to see if it is something you really enjoy.
As for family and balancing the two, my advise is always put family first. Your children will only be young once and they are little sponges that absorb everything you show them in life and it molds them in to the humans they will become. That doesn't mean give up your dreams or put them on hold to care for them. It means create unique and creative ways to get them involved without taking too much time away from either. Make learning fun, for example set up a 'study station' where you both with have side by side laptops/books/etc and make studying fun together.
Don't bite off more than you can chew. It will cause burn out and disappointment, and always remember Vienna will wait for you.
As for family and balancing the two, my advise is always put family first. Your children will only be young once and they are little sponges that absorb everything you show them in life and it molds them in to the humans they will become. That doesn't mean give up your dreams or put them on hold to care for them. It means create unique and creative ways to get them involved without taking too much time away from either. Make learning fun, for example set up a 'study station' where you both with have side by side laptops/books/etc and make studying fun together.
Don't bite off more than you can chew. It will cause burn out and disappointment, and always remember Vienna will wait for you.
Handel Pryce
Telecommunications
2
Answers
Bedminster Township, New Jersey
Updated
Handel’s Answer
Hi Paige, I can see three areas of interest listed that you seem to be passionate about. As part of your research, look into mentorship opportunities and ensure there are not overlaps and you can manage your time efficiently.
There may be opportunities where you can accomplish engagements for more than one or all three areas of interest with one organization.
Look into local seminars put on by the city/township, businesses operating locally or in a reasonable close proximity to where you live or go to school.
Hope you'll find this helpful.
There may be opportunities where you can accomplish engagements for more than one or all three areas of interest with one organization.
Look into local seminars put on by the city/township, businesses operating locally or in a reasonable close proximity to where you live or go to school.
Hope you'll find this helpful.
Melanie Moro-Ramadan
Project Management
7
Answers
Milton, Massachusetts
Updated
Melanie’s Answer
Hi Paige,
You've asked a fantastic question, and it's important to know there's no single answer. Everyone has their own personal and professional goals based on their unique backgrounds and the opportunities they encounter.
Personally, I've found a simple tool that helps me stay on track with my goals every day: a daily journal that starts with the words, "YOU GOT THIS!"
1) What possibilities can I explore? (For me, it's about self-expression, creativity, contribution, patience, health, and love.)
2) Which communities do I want to make a difference in? (My family, friends, and co-workers.)
3) What milestones do I want to achieve?
- Talk to a new person and learn about their job once a month.
- Watch YouTube to learn new DIY skills.
- Exercise daily and watch my carb intake.
- Meditate every day for at least 10 minutes and focus on breathing.
I read and update my journal every day. It keeps me focused and motivated.
I hope this helps. Remember, no matter where you are in life, YOU GOT THIS!
Wishing you all the best and encouraging you to DREAM BIG!
Melanie
You've asked a fantastic question, and it's important to know there's no single answer. Everyone has their own personal and professional goals based on their unique backgrounds and the opportunities they encounter.
Personally, I've found a simple tool that helps me stay on track with my goals every day: a daily journal that starts with the words, "YOU GOT THIS!"
1) What possibilities can I explore? (For me, it's about self-expression, creativity, contribution, patience, health, and love.)
2) Which communities do I want to make a difference in? (My family, friends, and co-workers.)
3) What milestones do I want to achieve?
- Talk to a new person and learn about their job once a month.
- Watch YouTube to learn new DIY skills.
- Exercise daily and watch my carb intake.
- Meditate every day for at least 10 minutes and focus on breathing.
I read and update my journal every day. It keeps me focused and motivated.
I hope this helps. Remember, no matter where you are in life, YOU GOT THIS!
Wishing you all the best and encouraging you to DREAM BIG!
Melanie
Le'Shae Briscoe
Software Development
1
Answer
Alpharetta, Georgia
Updated
Le'Shae’s Answer
Hi Paige!
It's nice to virtually meet you :)
Your question is excellent. From my experience as a software developer I’ve discovered that balance is about deliberate allocation of your time and energy rather than trying to handle everything simultaneously. Work towards your objectives one step at a time while being open to changing your priorities when life presents new opportunities. A tech career trajectory allows flexible planning to develop a pathway which supports your professional ambitions alongside personal aspirations. Strive for progress instead of perfection because no one can excel perfectly in every area; Give yourself some grace.
I would look into a computer science degree or bootcamp and while you're doing that, Do some open-source projects. It's a great way to connected with others within the field.
It's nice to virtually meet you :)
Your question is excellent. From my experience as a software developer I’ve discovered that balance is about deliberate allocation of your time and energy rather than trying to handle everything simultaneously. Work towards your objectives one step at a time while being open to changing your priorities when life presents new opportunities. A tech career trajectory allows flexible planning to develop a pathway which supports your professional ambitions alongside personal aspirations. Strive for progress instead of perfection because no one can excel perfectly in every area; Give yourself some grace.
I would look into a computer science degree or bootcamp and while you're doing that, Do some open-source projects. It's a great way to connected with others within the field.