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Why should I be living up to my parents dreams?

Why should I be living up to my parents dreams?

Thank you comment icon That is a very important question in which you already know the answer. I encourage you to live up to your own dreams even if your parents don't support you. Alecia Weedon

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Isaac’s Answer

Without a doubt, it's quite common for parents to have certain expectations for their children's future, which may not necessarily align with their children's own aspirations. Indeed, the majority of parents have their children's best interests at heart, and they guide them towards paths they believe are most promising. However, considering the vast amount of information, opportunities, and innovative learning methods that have surfaced in recent years, there's a chance they might not be fully aware of all the possibilities. Therefore, if your dreams diverge from your parents' plans, it would be beneficial to conduct thorough research on your chosen path. Present your findings to them, showcasing the potential and viability of your dreams. This could help them understand and support your direction. Remember, you've got this, and best of luck!
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James Constantine’s Answer

Hello Skyeseler,

Indeed, it brings back memories of my father's words, "I only desire the best for you, my child." It's completely acceptable to embrace the belief that our parents, with their years of wisdom, often know what's best. However, you've been exposed to a world of new knowledge, learning, and technologies that they may not have had access to.

Your DNA may shape your talents, and it's true that many continue the family tradition, with sons following their fathers' paths, or daughters walking in their mothers' footsteps. But remember, it's not always the case.

Some youngsters find themselves at odds with the careers their parents chose. Sometimes, our genetic makeup throws a curveball, harking back centuries, and we find ourselves with career goals vastly different from those of our parents!

As an adult, you're on the brink of making your own decisions, perhaps in a supportive profession or as a trailblazing entrepreneur. You're fully capable of expressing your unique self!

Wishing you all the best,
Jim
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Nida’s Answer

Are your dreams and aspirations distinct from those of your parents? If so, it's essential to have a heart-to-heart conversation with them. Share your goals, brainstorm together, and let them understand your perspective. They might be offering you their best advice, assuming you share the same objectives.

Remember, open and honest communication is the key to understanding. Take their wisdom to heart, then incorporate it into your plans. Ultimately, they probably just want you to have a prosperous start in life. There's a good chance you'll find a middle ground where you can both agree, ensuring their continued support even if your views diverge.
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Kim’s Answer

Skyeler,

Let's cut to the chase. You have a dream career path. You have done all the research, enlisted the aid of school counselors, and, your parents won't budge. Now what?

Well, my mom tried to control my wedding, as her mom controlled hers. I told her politely that I did not want their financial support for the wedding, and, we did it our way. It turned out okay. But, what if? What if my parents had refused to even attend? . . . .27 years later, I told my husband I wanted a divorce. He was entitled to half of my city retirement check. He did not go after it. But, what if? What if he took his half of the money, how was I going to make it?

This is to say, you have to prepared, really prepared, for the "What if's" in life. And that works both ways. What if you go along with your parents' plan for your life, but, you aren't happy? What if you tell your parents that you are going your own way, and, they totally "disown" you (this can happen, especially in certain cultures.) These are all the reasons that it is best to find a happy middle-ground, as others before me have so eloquently stated.

Suppose you want to be an artist, and they want you to be a doctor? Perhaps you could be a person who does art therapy in a hospital setting? A lot of these "middle ground" positions may not be known to you. So, if you have specific paths that you and your parents are disagreeing on, perhaps we can discuss some options on this site, if you feel like sharing them with us?

Kim
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William’s Answer

As a parent we have dreams for our children. Mostly it is to have their children succeed and avoid the pitfalls that they may have experienced. However, this is your journey. Find, discover, experiment, and set your own goals. Once they see you leading your own life generally, they will be confident you understand and know the direction of your own life. Nature abhors a vacuum. Meaning if you leave an open question in people's mind, they too often want to fill it with their own ideas and ambitions.
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Igbagbosanmi’s Answer

Parents are who they are because of their wealth of experience, wisdom and love. Every parent want an enviable life for their children hence the reason for their dreams and expectations for them.
From your question, it's obvious your dreams does not align with your parents' and sometimes it's like that.
These are the practical ways to address this issue:
1) Be sure to first have a dream or something you are passionate about.
2) Respectfully discuss your dreams or passion with your parent and how following it will make you fulfilled.
3) Request the help of a counselor or a respectable member of the family if your parent are still unyielding.
4) Lastly, pray...
I remember a friend of my was pressurized by his parent to study medicine in school haven told them he wanted to be a singer. After much tussle, she succumbed but struggled all through her uni. She eventually graduated as a medical doctor but handed her certificate to her parent saying "Mom and Dad, here is your dream, can you now allow me chase my own dream?"
Life make sense when we do what we love because we derive fulfilment from it but in all your journey seek counsel.
All the best!
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Bernardo’s Answer

Parents want the best for our children. The important thing is that your dreams are what you fulfill. And if they match theirs, great. But yours are the ones that count.
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Aubrei’s Answer

Well, as a parent you generally want what's best for your child. As a parent, I'm constantly thinking of what-if scenarios and playing out different outcomes for my kids in my head. Sometimes parents believe they came up with the best for their child. Parents want you to follow that path to achieve the success they dreamed of. Unfortunately we, as parents, don't know if that path is the right one for our child until much later in life. Take their dreams but remember you are your own person with goals, and thoughts and ambition of your own. But know that, for the most part, parent just want to see you happy; and they believe that dream will make you happy.
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Sharyn’s Answer, CareerVillage.org Team

Most parents want what is best for us. It's important to respect and consider your parents but it's also important that you put your happiness and well-being in the forefront. Your dreams are your own but you also want to maintain a healthy relationship with your parents.

Have open communication with your parents. Be prepared for questions they have. Tell them why you believe your chosen path is best for you. By sharing your goals and listening to their perspective, it could help create understanding and possibly find a common ground.

Growing up, I wanted to pursue an artistic career but my parents and I were not on common ground, at least initially, because they didn't understand it. They were from a working class background and was concerned about me making a living. I did eventually pursue what felt right for me and I was much happier. When my parents saw I was making a living and doing fine, they accepted my choices.

In the end, your life is your journey and it is about finding the path that's right for you.
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Mitch’s Answer

Hi Skyeler,

I think it would be a great idea if you had a nice, open chat with your parents about your personal ambitions and dreams. It's important to let them know that their vision for you doesn't quite align with your own aspirations.

Take your time and gently guide them to understand why you're choosing your own path, rather than the one they've envisioned for you.
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Jacob’s Answer

You shouldn't feel obligated to live up to your parents' dreams. While it's natural for parents to want the best for their children and offer guidance, your life should be about pursuing your own dreams and aspirations. Here are some reasons why it's important to follow your own path:

1. **Authenticity:** Living your parents' dreams may lead to a life that feels inauthentic and unfulfilling. True happiness comes from aligning your choices with your own values and passions.

2. **Self-Discovery:** Your journey is an opportunity for self-discovery. By pursuing your own dreams, you learn more about yourself, your interests, and your unique talents.

3. **Passion and Motivation:** You are more likely to excel and stay motivated when you are genuinely passionate about what you're doing. Your own dreams are more likely to ignite that passion.

4. **Resentment:** Living someone else's dreams can lead to resentment over time. This can strain your relationship with your parents and cause inner turmoil.

5. **Personal Growth:** Overcoming challenges and achieving your own goals fosters personal growth and resilience. It allows you to become the best version of yourself.

6. **Responsibility for Your Life:** As you grow older, taking responsibility for your own choices and pursuing your dreams becomes a crucial part of becoming an independent and self-reliant individual.

7. **Unique Contribution:** Each person has unique talents and perspectives to offer the world. By following your own dreams, you can make a meaningful and distinctive contribution.

8. **Happiness:** Ultimately, the pursuit of happiness should be at the core of your decisions. Your own dreams are more likely to lead to lasting happiness and a sense of fulfillment.

It's important to have open and honest communication with your parents about your aspirations and the path you want to take. While they may have their own hopes for you, they should ultimately support your choices and happiness.

Remember that your parents likely want the best for you and may offer guidance based on their experiences and concerns. However, your life is your own, and you have the right to shape it according to your own dreams and ambitions. It's a journey of self-discovery and personal growth, and your happiness and fulfillment should be the driving forces behind your choices.
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