How to build up your confidence? How to be good at communicating with people?
Everyone would sort of encounters this kind of problem. For an introvert, how should we act to overcome the fear to communicate with people. Even though we did not mean something, but our timidity always prevent us from getting our message across. How to make introverts become confident?
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Earlier in my career, I didn’t speak up. Because of that, I ended up being a “do-er” — going along with what people told me because I was worried that if I shared my ideas, people wouldn’t see my perspective, or worse, think my perspective was invalid. I spent years getting pushed around by people (and clients) all because I was afraid to speak up.
But, learning to be a better communicator and speak up with confidence has lead to many great things for me over the years including raises, job opportunities, new clients, opportunities to speak at conferences, and the chance to work with people I never thought I’d work with!
We know communication is an essential part of everyday life. We communicate our emotions, our thoughts, our needs and information we deem as necessary to share with someone else. There are different applications of communication that determine the manner in which we choose to communicate.
For example, when you have a conversation with a group of friends, you’re relaxed and don't feel the need to filter your thoughts before speaking. But when you’re in a room full of colleagues and needing to discuss a business matter, all of a sudden we become nervous, second-guess what we want to say or stay silent altogether.
A few things to hone during your journey:
Master non-verbal communication
Learn to listen
Trust your expertise
Learning to speak up and be confident in your communication can radically transform your career. Speaking up will help you effectively communicate with your boss, colleagues, and clients. As a result, your ideas will be heard, you’ll be given more responsibility (and a little more respect) and you’ll notice that people look to you as a leader on your team.
Best of luck. Jeni
The best way to build up your confidence is to talk to people. Start with your friends and family. Ask them questions about their everyday life, work and habits. Do this regularly until you no longer have to think about the questions. Then venture out to talk to your neighbors and people who you may not know as well and ask them the same questions. Once you're more comfortable, talk to one new person a day and start with easy questions or comments like, "How's your day going?" "I really like your shoes today" and wait for them to answer.
The key to communication is listening. Everyone wants to feel heard and will open up if they find you attentive. Also, don't take anything personally. If they walk away from you or don't give you a lot of time, it's not about you. The best way to build confidence is to remember that you are just as worthy as the next person and don't tie your identity or self-worth to the person you're talking to.
Other resources to try:
- "Quiet" by Susan Cain
- "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie
- "How to Talk to Anyone" by Leil Lowndes
- The King's Speech
I hope these tips help you to become more confident and develop a personal and effective communication style.
I work at a major multinational corporation and so many of the people I work with are natural introverts. They have grown successful in their careers nonetheless. Find something you are passionate about, study it well and then confidence will follow. You don't have to be the first to speak in a setting. You don't have to be the loudest. When you know about something and understand the concepts well, being able to deliver/communicate that message to others will come easier. Some major leaders are Introverts, i.e., Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg to name a few...
I frequently remind myself in large groups that no one is out to get me, and everyone else is nervous, too, whether or not they show it. Just be yourself and go talk to the quietest person in the room. They’ll appreciate it, and you’ll be able to practice your skills and gain confidence!