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How do I follow my passions with parents who don't support them?

O.k so I love drawing, the marijuana industry, and farming to my CORE! I wanna learn more about them and make a career around it but my parent won't support me if I do these things. Should I study them in secret or just do it anyway?
#drawing
#art
#marijuana
#agriculture
#parenting
#student-affairs


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4 answers


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Aszhia’s Answer

Hey there! I think the first steps is figuring out what you want out of life and what you are really passionate about which seems like you've completed that step. Maybe go even further and write down WHY you are passionate about those things.

Then it would maybe help to look further into those topics and research them. What jobs are available, degrees, costs, traveling, location for those jobs, etc. This way you can have the right info to get you started and to back up your passion to your parents.

Communication - explain to your parents why these things are important to you and the direction/next steps/sacrifices you want to take.

Lastly and unfortunately, you are not going to always be able to please your loved ones. For the longest time I built my decisions based on the opinions of others and found myself in ruts and unhappy. We have "gut feelings" for a reason! You know what is best for you but your parents do care about you and it is still important to listen to what they have to say. I may not always agree with my loved ones advice but I still take the time to listen to it because it could still be beneficial to me.

I hope this helps!!

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Ellen’s Answer

Hi Daeja:


This is an issue that is pretty common...your parents' expectations meet your future plans. I think the important thing to remember is usually parents are having these expectations out of their love for you and for their desire that you be successful in life. All three career paths you mentioned might seem very unusual, strange or risky to them.


So you might start with asking them why they are opposed to you pursuing a career in your areas of interests. Find out what their concerns are. You might want to show them you are serious about these different career paths by doing some research about them in terms of actual jobs, salary, opportunities and so on. Let them know that beyond the "cool" factor, there are career possibilities in these fields. The three you mentioned are very very different, so this type of research might be an eye-opener for you too. If your school has a career counseling office, I'd go there; if not, visit your school of local library and ask the librarians for books and websites about careers that might help you in your research.


I wouldn't keep your interests from your parents, you will want their support, especially when you are starting out your life as a young adult on your own. When I decided to go to art school, I knew my parents were not crazy about the idea, but I knew they still loved me and wanted the best for me. As the previous answer mentioned, talk this over with your parents and see if some sort of compromise might be possible.


Best wishes!



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Andy’s Answer

Hi Daeja,


You've got an interesting situation on your hands. Unfortunately there isn't one right path or answer that will work for everyone. Family is important but so are your personal goals.


I actually went through a very similar situation. When I was in high school, I loved to draw and create stories. However, my parents wanted me to go to college in biology. They were supportive of me but they also wanted me to have security and peace of mind for the future. I went to UC Berkeley and completed my undergraduate degree in biology.


After graduating, I still wanted to pursue a career in art and went back to school to earn my Master of Fine Arts degree in illustration. By that point I was working at the university and had a degree to fall back on so I was in a stable position in life. I had met my parents' expectations and so they were supportive of my decision.


Now Ive been working in the video games industry as an illustrator for over 12 years and my parents continue to be supportive. I do not regret the time and energy that I spent at Berkeley. That was a great time to learn more about myself and the world-at-large.


I'm not saying that everything will definitely work out for everyone, but with the support of family I was able to learn and grow and, in the end, still find a way to pursue my goals. I wouldn't recommend hiding or doing things in secret. If you have a good relationship with your parents try to come to an understanding. Perhaps go to school studying a subject that is a compromise. Or take extra classes to learn more about your desired subject.


I hope that you will be able to pursue your interests while maintaining a good relationship with your parents.

Andy recommends the following next steps:

Talk to your parents and discuss a compromise
Look at an education path and school that could provide access to majors that you and your parents can agree on

Thank you! Maybe I should have something else to fall back on. Daeja S.

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Roland’s Answer

Parents are there for guidance. They don’t always see things our way but they are there to act on what they think is best. Parents are meant to support our endevours as long as they are for the greater good and we are truly passionate about them. If you are not getting the support needed seek it elsewhere. There are career counsolers that specialize in giving the support needed to pursue our dreams and assist with success. Associate yourself with people of like passions and rely on them for proper support. Great minds think alike!


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