5 answers
Aaryan
Student
1
Question
Updated
455 views
What path should I choose?
I am now 27. I completed my BA in 2020 with 5.7 CGPA and dropped my MA course midway in 2022. It's shame that I am sitting idle in these last 3.5 years and still not able to figure out what to do. I just hesitate and keep on thinking before trying to attempt. I have no work experience.
I am a clueless person who has no idea about my strengths and what am I capable of.
Actually I am stuck between choices. I don't know whether should I crack govt exams like bank, SSC or do something else? Hesitant to crack govt exam because process of selection is long and success rate is low. I am hesitant to do other things due to no work experience and skills. I fear being harassed and scolded at job.
I literally have no hobbies other than watching reels on Instagram, youtube shorts and making expenses tracker on google sheets. I cannot even drive any vehicle that I could take up gig work.
I am also a person who doesn't wants to compromise. I don't want to leave my city because I cannot share room with others. I also don't want to commute very long distances if within my city. I also have to look after my dog.
I don't want to do any course now since I am currently in dire need of money.
Login to comment
5 answers
Joseph Maltby
Analysis and Management
30
Answers
Richmond, VA
Updated
Joseph’s Answer
From a professional standpoint, I'd advise trying to get some experience in various areas that seem interesting, even as a volunteer, so you can see what you like and what you don't like. You can only know so much about your strengths without trying to apply them in different ways. Rather than getting anxious about failing, remind yourself that this is all practice and that failing at some things is the point. You are right not to want to invest money in exams or schooling if you don't know what you want. I also wouldn't worry too much about not knowing your path yet. A poem I read once when I was young that has always stuck with me said: "Don't be afraid if you're 20 and have no idea what you want to do with your life. Some of the most interesting people I know are 40 and they still don't know." Even your hobby of tracking expenses might lead the way to an entry-level job doing data entry or as a clerk.
The only true way to fail is not to try anything. Plenty of us started down a bunch of blind alleys before we found our way to a career and plenty more have to make changes partway through our career because of changing circumstances. As the saying goes, "Life is what happens while you're making plans." If you want some good reading about how to approach these kinds of decisions, get Scott Adams' advice books and/or The Adventures of Johnny Bunko from your library.
On a personal level, you might want to look up some resources on anxiety and depression. It sounds like you're paralyzed with overthinking and fear. The longer you wait, the worse it gets, which makes you wait longer. You're not the first person who's had these problems and you're not the only one having them right now. Learn more about them and maybe find a support group with other people in the same situation. Finding other people and finding ways to be useful, even just through volunteering, will help you feel better and clear your mind to make decisions. Another book that might help you start one step at a time is "12 Rules for Life" by Jordan Peterson, though there are others in the same vein that you can choose.
Whatever you do next, if you do it to the best of your abilities and focus on connecting with others, it won't be wasted time and you'll find yourself in a better place.
The only true way to fail is not to try anything. Plenty of us started down a bunch of blind alleys before we found our way to a career and plenty more have to make changes partway through our career because of changing circumstances. As the saying goes, "Life is what happens while you're making plans." If you want some good reading about how to approach these kinds of decisions, get Scott Adams' advice books and/or The Adventures of Johnny Bunko from your library.
On a personal level, you might want to look up some resources on anxiety and depression. It sounds like you're paralyzed with overthinking and fear. The longer you wait, the worse it gets, which makes you wait longer. You're not the first person who's had these problems and you're not the only one having them right now. Learn more about them and maybe find a support group with other people in the same situation. Finding other people and finding ways to be useful, even just through volunteering, will help you feel better and clear your mind to make decisions. Another book that might help you start one step at a time is "12 Rules for Life" by Jordan Peterson, though there are others in the same vein that you can choose.
Whatever you do next, if you do it to the best of your abilities and focus on connecting with others, it won't be wasted time and you'll find yourself in a better place.
Thank you for sharing your perspective.
Aaryan
宜哲 栗
Java Developer
1
Answer
Shenzhen, Guangdong
Updated
宜哲’s Answer
It's perfectly okay to feel confused, hesitant, or afraid, especially as you turn 27 and aren't sure about your path. These feelings don't mean you're a failure. Your choices, like staying in your city, caring for your dog, avoiding shared housing, and wanting a respectful work environment, are all important and deserve respect. Since you need money quickly, preparing for exams with low success rates or starting new courses might not be the best options right now. Instead, consider starting with low-stress, remote, entry-level jobs that don't require experience. These could include remote data entry, freelance work designing budget trackers, or basic administrative support roles. These jobs let you work from home, avoid commuting, and stay close to your dog. They usually have low pressure and a lower risk of workplace issues. You don't need to know all your strengths before you begin; they will develop as you take small, safe steps. You don't have to decide on a lifelong career now. By taking this practical step, you'll start earning money and gradually regain control over your life.
Alan Boyance
Taxes
2
Answers
Mexico City, Mexico
Updated
Alan’s Answer
Hello Aaryan. Thank you for your question.
I used to be in a very similar position not so long ago, so I may be able to relate to a certain extent with your situation. The truth is, with all the existing options it is not easy to commit to one single path. Especially since that path may not suit your needs and goals at all. In my experience, I first had to take care of many things regarding my physical and mental health. Sometimes it is okay to accept that not everything is our fault or responsibility, and we need to seek the right personal care so we may come out of it much stronger and determined. So my first advice would be: take care of yourself and learn everything there is about a healthy lifestyle. After that, get to know yourself on a deeper level, and try to connect with who you think you are, even beyond your body and what you want to do right now, as childish and abnormal as it may seem to the rest of society. Find something to believe in which is bigger than anything else and goes beyond the physical world that surrounds you. This will help motivation big time and that what you're doing matters in many ways. Whatever you're thinking won't work is only based on your previous experiences and what you are used to, trying to find security in an already uncertain future. You need to detach from this mindset and start practicing going out of your comfort zone, making new connections that will further convince you about following your dreams. You can't change the past or even how you feel about it in many ways, but focus on what you can change: your perspective. Practice mindfulness and a lot of introspection every single day, and believe in yourself like you never have before, even if you don't trust the rest of the world around you. If you can, find a crew that understands you the same way you do. Although this is not always possible, but it does help. In the end, trust the process and the situation that life has put you in, and that everything will be okay. The more you stress it out, the more negative your motivation to get out of it. Find your positive motivations that you may balance with some otherwise neurotic reasoning. You will need both of them to accomplish what you already know must be done.
I used to be in a very similar position not so long ago, so I may be able to relate to a certain extent with your situation. The truth is, with all the existing options it is not easy to commit to one single path. Especially since that path may not suit your needs and goals at all. In my experience, I first had to take care of many things regarding my physical and mental health. Sometimes it is okay to accept that not everything is our fault or responsibility, and we need to seek the right personal care so we may come out of it much stronger and determined. So my first advice would be: take care of yourself and learn everything there is about a healthy lifestyle. After that, get to know yourself on a deeper level, and try to connect with who you think you are, even beyond your body and what you want to do right now, as childish and abnormal as it may seem to the rest of society. Find something to believe in which is bigger than anything else and goes beyond the physical world that surrounds you. This will help motivation big time and that what you're doing matters in many ways. Whatever you're thinking won't work is only based on your previous experiences and what you are used to, trying to find security in an already uncertain future. You need to detach from this mindset and start practicing going out of your comfort zone, making new connections that will further convince you about following your dreams. You can't change the past or even how you feel about it in many ways, but focus on what you can change: your perspective. Practice mindfulness and a lot of introspection every single day, and believe in yourself like you never have before, even if you don't trust the rest of the world around you. If you can, find a crew that understands you the same way you do. Although this is not always possible, but it does help. In the end, trust the process and the situation that life has put you in, and that everything will be okay. The more you stress it out, the more negative your motivation to get out of it. Find your positive motivations that you may balance with some otherwise neurotic reasoning. You will need both of them to accomplish what you already know must be done.
Thank you for taking the time to help.
Aaryan
George Katsinis - AFC®
Personal Financial Counselor
68
Answers
Salem, Oregon
Updated
George’s Answer
Get going! Take action! It's easier to steer a moving ship than one that's not moving at all.
Jerry Tingstad
Professor/middle school teacher/48 years
195
Answers
New York, New York
Updated
Jerry’s Answer
First, I would read again and read agin Joseph's answer. He has a lot to offer.
Aside from what you have indicated in your question and offering your thoughts, I find this query is very difficult to answer.
I think this is the first time I have been presented with a question and I have no idea where the questioner is from. You mention your community, but only in the vaguest terms.'
In addition, I have no idea what you majored in when you took your first degree, nor what you were majoring in when you dropped out of your advanced degree program.
Therefore, for me, who stood and paced in front of a classroom for forty-eight years, plus had my first job at aged twelve, and on to being a Soda Jerk at a drugstore, working second shift at a box factory, and then third shift at a can company, a bureaucrat in state government, I did a lot of shopping around before I settled in.
But I was always able to provide for myself.
But for you, I'm not in the least bit sure how you are surviving now without working.
And you appear to be very confused and bouncing from one idea to another but getting nowhere.
To quote a lyric from Michigan's Bob Seger in his song Night Moves: "Working on mysteries without any clues".
I would therefore go back to Joseph's second to the last paragraph and start there, if you can somehow financially survive while you sort things out.
Secondly, if you wish to continue a conversation with me, I would have no problem with that. Wouldn't be the first time.
Aside from what you have indicated in your question and offering your thoughts, I find this query is very difficult to answer.
I think this is the first time I have been presented with a question and I have no idea where the questioner is from. You mention your community, but only in the vaguest terms.'
In addition, I have no idea what you majored in when you took your first degree, nor what you were majoring in when you dropped out of your advanced degree program.
Therefore, for me, who stood and paced in front of a classroom for forty-eight years, plus had my first job at aged twelve, and on to being a Soda Jerk at a drugstore, working second shift at a box factory, and then third shift at a can company, a bureaucrat in state government, I did a lot of shopping around before I settled in.
But I was always able to provide for myself.
But for you, I'm not in the least bit sure how you are surviving now without working.
And you appear to be very confused and bouncing from one idea to another but getting nowhere.
To quote a lyric from Michigan's Bob Seger in his song Night Moves: "Working on mysteries without any clues".
I would therefore go back to Joseph's second to the last paragraph and start there, if you can somehow financially survive while you sort things out.
Secondly, if you wish to continue a conversation with me, I would have no problem with that. Wouldn't be the first time.
Thanks for the advice.
Aaryan