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What are the qualities that one needs to change the world?

Is the best strategy to bombard them with kindness? Or is it more of an "ends justify the means" situation? What can I do to encourage people and help them believe that they, too, are capable of change? #psychology #education #management #leadership #social #women #non-profit

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Professor SIR Lloyd’s Answer

What are the qualities that one needs to change the world?

Change Is Self Evident

“You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.”

“The difference between what we do and what we are capable of doing would suffice to solve most of the world’s problem.”

“If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.”

my favorite teachings from the honorable Mahatma Gandhi

Humiliation, Human Dignity and the Eradication of Extreme Poverty In The World. The two quotes above are related. Modernization has caused a great deal of alienation, much of it in the poor and underdeveloped communities and neighborhoods. Modernization has transformed life and the world but it has also caused a great deal of hardship.

Man is born free, but everywhere he is in chains. ~ Jean-Jacques Rousseau

  1. Change yourself.

“You must be the change you want to see in the world.”

“As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world – that is the myth of the atomic age – as in being able to remake ourselves.”

If you change yourself you will change your world. If you change how you think then you will change how you feel and what actions you take. And so the world around you will change. Not only because you are now viewing your environment through new lenses of thoughts and emotions but also because the change within can allow you to take action in ways you wouldn’t have – or maybe even have thought about – while stuck in your old thought patterns.

And the problem with changing your outer world without changing yourself is that you will still be you when you reach that change you have strived for. You will still have your flaws, anger, negativity, self-sabotaging tendencies etc. intact.

And so in this new situation you will still not find what you hoped for since your mind is still seeping with that negative stuff. And if you get more without having some insight into and distance from your ego it may grow more powerful. Since your ego loves to divide things, to find enemies and to create separation it may start to try to create even more problems and conflicts in your life and world.

The alienation caused by modernization has taken many forms but, in this short essay, I shall focus on the scourge of extreme poverty which, I believe, is the root-cause of much pain and suffering in the poor communities. If Rousseau’s prophetic statement still resonates so powerfully in our imaginations, it must be because it still captures, some two hundred and fifty years after he wrote it (stunningly it is the opening sentence of the Social Contract), the fate of the majority of humanity in our contemporary societies: ‘Man’ continues to be ‘in chains’ (metaphorically, of course, these days) ‘everywhere’, not only in the poor but also in the rich communities and neighborhoods.

  1. You are in control.

“Nobody can hurt me without my permission.”

What you feel and how you react to something is always up to you. There may be a “normal” or a common way to react to different things. But that’s mostly just all it is.

You can choose your own thoughts, reactions and emotions to pretty much everything. You don’t have to freak out, overreact of even react in a negative way. Perhaps not every time or instantly. Sometimes a knee-jerk reaction just goes off. Or an old thought habit kicks in.

And as you realize that no-one outside of yourself can actually control how you feel you can start to incorporate this thinking into your daily life and develop it as a thought habit. A habit that you can grow stronger and stronger over time. Doing this makes life a whole lot easier and more pleasurable. Your self control allows others surrounding you will also see you on the outside.

Howeve these average Joe’s those that you interact with on a daily regular basis they will see your self control and begin to acknowledge you in a different way just as you do in everyday living because they are our butcher, the corner store owner, grocery clerk , gas station attendant ;we see them every day working and just giving us a smile while we go about our daily routines. And then there is those who dedicate there lives to service on the frontline scenes our doctors who keep us healthy, teachers who teach us guide us and our children in our schools and the fireman that rescue lives and assist in emergency’s everyday. But then with the signs of the time in these economical crisis that we are facing there are the behind the scenes unsung heroes our civil servants government employees overworked and underpaid living from pay check too pay check.

  1. Forgive and let it go.

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”

“An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind.”

Fighting evil with evil won’t help anyone. And as said in the previous tip, you always choose how to react to something. When you can incorporate such a thought habit more and more into your life then you can react in a way that is more useful to you and others.

You realize that forgiving and letting go of the past will do you and the people in your world a great service. And spending your time in some negative memory won’t help you after you have learned the lessons you can learn from that experience. You’ll probably just cause yourself more suffering and paralyze yourself from taking action in this present moment.

If you don’t forgive then you let the past and another person to control how you feel. By forgiving you release yourself from those bonds. And then you can focus totally on, for instance, the next point.

And yes it is safe to affirm that, despite the considerable progress recorded, during these two-and-a-half centuries of the world, in what has come to be known as human rights -- the civil and political, social and economic, and cultural and developmental rights --, these rights are still very far from having been met for the majority of communities and neighborhoods but also the world’s population.So therefore we all need to begin to strive for positive action.

  1. Without action you aren’t going anywhere.

“An ounce of practice is worth more than tons of preaching.”

Without taking action very little will be done. However, taking action can be hard and difficult. There can be much inner resistance.

And so you may resort to preaching, as Gandhi says. Or reading and studying endlessly. And feeling like you are moving forward. But getting little or no practical results in real life.

So, to really get where you want to go and to really understand yourself and your world you need to practice. Books can mostly just bring you knowledge. You have to take action and translate that knowledge into results and understanding.

  1. Take care of the moment.

“I do not want to foresee the future. I am concerned with taking care of the present. God has given me no control over the moment following.”

The best way that I have found to overcome the inner resistance that often stops us from taking action is to stay in the present as much as possible and to be accepting.

Why? you ask

It is because; Well, when you are in the present moment you don’t worry about the next moment that you can’t control anyway. And the resistance to action that comes from you imagining negative future consequences – or reflecting on past failures – of your actions loses its power. And so it becomes easier to both take action and to keep your focus on the moment and perform better.

remember that reconnecting with and staying in the now is a mental habit – a sort of muscle – that you grow. Over time it becomes more powerful and makes it easier to slip into the present moment.

  1. Everyone is human.

“I claim to be a simple individual liable to err like any other fellow mortal. I own, however, that I have humility enough to confess my errors and to retrace my steps.”

“It is unwise to be too sure of one’s own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err.”

When you start to make myths out of people – even though they may have produced extraordinary results – you run the risk of becoming disconnected from them. You can start to feel like you could never achieve similar things that they did because they are so very different. So it’s important to keep in mind that everyone is just a human being no matter who they are.

And I think it’s important to remember that we are all human and prone to make mistakes. Holding people to unreasonable standards will only create more unnecessary conflicts in your world and negativity within you.

It’s also important to remember this to avoid falling into the pretty useless habit of beating yourself up over mistakes that you have made. And instead be able to see with clarity where you went wrong and what you can learn from your mistake. And then try again.

  1. Persist.

“First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.”

Be persistent. In time the opposition around you will fade and fall away. And your inner resistance and self-sabotaging tendencies that want to hold you back and keep you like you have always been will grow weaker.

Find what you really like to do. Then you’ll find the inner motivation to keep going, going and going.

One reason Frederick Douglass, Harriett Tubman, Marcus Mosiah Garvey, Nat Turner, Gandhi, Mandela,Thurgood Marshall, King was so successful with his method of non-violence was because he and his followers were so persistent. They just didn’t give up.

Success or victory will seldom come as quickly as you would have liked it to. I think one of the reasons people don’t get what they want is simply because they give up too soon. The time they think an achievement will require isn’t the same amount of time it usually takes to achieve that goal. This faulty belief partly comes from the world we live in. A world full of magic pill solutions where advertising continually promises us that we can lose a lot of weight or earn a ton of money in just 30 days.

Finally, to keep your persistence going is to keep a sense of humor. It can lighten things up at the toughest of times.

  1. See the good in people and help them.

“I look only to the good qualities of men. Not being faultless myself, I won’t presume to probe into the faults of others.”

“Man becomes great exactly in the degree in which he works for the welfare of his fellow-men.”

“I suppose leadership at one time meant muscles; but today it means getting along with people.”

There is pretty much always something good in people. And things that may not be so good. But you can choose what things to focus on. And if you want improvement then focusing on the good in people is a useful choice. It also makes life easier for you as your world and relationships become more pleasant and positive.

And when you see the good in people it becomes easier to motivate yourself to be of service to them. By being of service to other people, by giving them value you not only make their lives better. Over time you tend to get what you give. And the people you help may feel more inclined to help other people. And so you, together, create an upward spiral of positive change that grows and becomes stronger.

By strengthening your social skills you can become a more influential person and make this upward spiral even stronger. We call this the pay it forward model. Allways you want to pay it forward.

  1. Be congruent, be authentic, be your true self.

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”

“Always aim at complete harmony of thought and word and deed. Always aim at purifying your thoughts and everything will be well.”

I think that one of the best tips for improving the self is social skills to behave in a congruent manner and communicate in an authentic way. People seem to really like authentic communication. And there is much inner enjoyment to be found when your thoughts, words and actions are aligned. You feel powerful and good about yourself.

When words and thoughts are aligned then that shows through in your communication. Because now you have your voice tonality and body language – some say they are over 90 percent of communication – in alignment with your words.

With these channels in alignment people tend to really listen to what you’re saying. You are communicating without incongruency, mixed messages or perhaps a sort of phoniness.

Also, if your actions aren’t in alignment with what you’re communicating then you start to hurt your own belief in what you can do. And other people’s belief in you too.

  1. Continue to grow and evolve.

”Constant development is the law of life, and a man who always tries to maintain his dogmas in order to appear consistent drives himself into a false position.”

You can pretty much always improve your skills, habits or re-evaluate your evaluations. You can gain deeper understanding of yourself and the world. Maslows Hierarchy of Needs.

Sure, you may look inconsistent or like you don’t know what you are doing from time to time. You may have trouble to act congruently or to communicate authentically. But if you don’t then you will, drive yourself into a false position. A place where you try to uphold or cling to your old views to appear consistent while you realize within that something is wrong. It’s not a fun place to be. To choose to grow and evolve is a happier and more useful path to take.

within any challenging environment.

It is the every day people those who serve with out precedence is the true grass roots too CHANGE ......

with out change social scientists have come to acknowledge that humiliation and human dignity are key concepts in the understanding of our world so full of injustice, misery and violence. How can humanity put an end to humiliating practices? How can we break cycles of violence caused by humiliation throughout the world that involves hatred, revenge and violence? And, how can human beings establish relations built mutual respect and esteem? Not only classical forms of ‘institutionalized’ humiliation – Apartheid and Colonialism, but also humiliation caused by underdevelopment and extreme poverty. It is – together with climate change due pollution, the proliferation of nuclear arms, and the various forms of violence in the form of wars, genocides, ethnic cleansings and terrorism – one of the most important challenges facing humanity today is Humiliation, Human Dignity and Extreme Poverty in the World.

Social Injustice, prejudice, discrimination (age, race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, disabilities) poverty is a stain on the human conscience, and a better world based on peace, freedom, justice and solidarity can never be built unless it is eradicated. Change it is Self Evident by the law of Nature, and the only way we can do that is through the sharing of the world’s resources justly and equally. And only the adoption of ‘agape’ -- which means in ancient Greek ‘pure, spontaneous, unmotivated and creative’ love -- as opposed to ‘eros’ or ‘philia’, which either have sexual connotations, or are related to interested friendships; in contra-distinction, Agape which has to do with ‘disinterested love’, is also a ‘love in action’, and, in final analysis, the kind of love that rests upon the idea that all men are brothers.’ Every Day Joe’s........ What the world needs now is love pure love ..... love that shows to all who we really are ............

Thank you comment icon its very helpful janani
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Kingsuk’s Answer

Great question Julia, given the context of world affairs we live in, this question is perhaps the most important of them all for our world, business leaders right down to the common man on the street. While I feel completely inadequate in answering this question, what I think this question invokes in me and what I am attempting to answer below is this.

Its is our pursuit to find this answer which is important and not the answer itself. Our attempt should always start with, what can I do in my own small way to change my actions and thoughts which can make a positive difference no matter how small they are. Our intent and inner motivations influence our action, so if we start their maybe we will find a way to influence and inspire others around us. Speaking from my own experience professionally of leading a group of people at work, I have always found joy in coming to work with the intent and desire to make them succeed in their careers, beyond just their immediate deliverables. When you ask someone who their role model is, most often the answer would be their parents, grandparents or some one who has inspired them with their Values and affection, general well being such as a mentor.

The best way to get started often, is to understand the problems you and others around you face, and if that interests you and you have the resources and ability to change the outcome or find the solution, then act. Please do note however that your good intentions and efforts may not always get recognized or appreciated and you should be at peace with this reality.

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Jill’s Answer

Qualities: Optimistic, Determined, Resilient, Humble, Lifelong Learner, Listener, Problem Solver, Innovator, Unreasonable, Empowering (of staff and constituents), Visionary, Practical, Caring, Capable, Team Builder, Unafraid, Bold, and Execution, Impact and Data Focused on what works and what matters.

Social entrepreneurs strive to make the "impossible" possible; where others say we can do this OR that, they say we can do both and find a way to make it so. So, no - ends do not justify the means - rather social entrepreneurs find just and fair means to achieve the ends. They do not fear failure, but rather embrace trial and error to learn.

The best way to encourage people is to lead by example and to be a "first follower" (

Suggested Books:

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Neville’s Answer

I believe kindness and understanding. It is important to understand that everyone is different and his different views.
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Paul A’s Answer

Great question Julia! Be the light! Walk your talk! These are some catch phrases that people sometimes use to simplify the answer to your question. Life is a process and a journey. Becoming self aware as to your interests, activities and personal preferences that allow you to be the highest expression of your gifts and talents is a major intention to experience a fulfilled life. Being the light yourself attracts people who want what you've got. Qualities that add depth and "light" your journey might be compassion, loving, accepting, honest, inspiring, considerate, open minded, trustworthy and non judgmental. A commitment to personal expansion and personal growth are a great foundation for being a leader. Who you are sometimes speaks so loudly I can't hear you is a mirror opposite of what you want to project as you gain awareness of the broader vision you want others to join with you in making "real". The best to you in making the world a better place mankind to live.

Thank you comment icon its very helpful janani
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Mark’s Answer

Hi Julia!

I'm not sure there is absolutely a right answer for this, but I can give you my view. I believe that being kind to people and helping them on their journey through life is the best way to influence others. I have seen through my own career that simple things like being kind, reaching out to others when they need help, and assisting people with their work is the best way to make a difference. I have an international team that I work with and I have seen amazing things happen because we are all being kind to one another... this then branches out from each individual to their relations.

Best Wishes!

Thank you comment icon its very helpful janani