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What is a "life lesson" you wished to have learned if you had the choice to?

I'm looking for some advice from others, please share if you would like to and if you're looking for advice yourself please read some of the responses from the wonderful people whom have responded! Thanks to all!

#life #life-experience #advice

Thank you comment icon Great thread you started here. Maybe, you should check into becoming a moderator. You could definitely be in some type of leadership role regardless of what you may do. Raymond Shreve
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Subject: Career question for you

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Kelly’s Answer

Ryan

If I could go back in time, I would say my life lesson is managing your money wisely, completely college when you are young and traveling the world before settling down. We all have our own goals and dreams, when we are young we tend to want a lot of material things and maybe get to ambitious to get them instead of managing money and at the end it really can hurt you.

Kelly
Thank you comment icon Quite meaningful, thank you Kelly for your answer! I also think it's important to manage your money especially for the present and the future. Most would want something with much determination, which I think is good in a sense. If you use that determination to work to getting that something then that's great, but maybe not if you just want that something. Ryan F.
Thank you comment icon Lots of insight in this answer Kelly! Enjoying life while young is important! I sometimes wish we'd get our retirement money up front, and work the rest of our lives to pay it off! You never know when your health will take a nosedive - go ziplining, sailing, backpacking, mountain climbing, canoeing, and whatever while you still have the physical ability to do so! Kim Igleheart
Thank you comment icon Thanks Kim, if only the world was like that. But we'd have to work our butts off cause if not that wouldn't be very good. I also agree with you about enjoying life while ya can, especially with the physical ability to do so. Ryan F.
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Sandra’s Answer

Always be willing to help others and have a positive attitude! People will enjoy being around you and are more willing to help you when you need support. Plus, it makes you feel good when you help others!

Also, when you're faced with a challenge, view it as an opportunity!
Thank you comment icon Thank you Sandra for your response. I agree and will keep this in mind to be optimistic and help others. Ryan F.
Thank you comment icon Awesome , Ryan! You got this :) Sandra Tichy
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Tia’s Answer

Be flexible. Plans rarely go as planned and being able to be flexible would have saved me a lot of unnecessary stress. I should have seen changed plans as a way to get creative and problem solve.
Thank you comment icon Thank you Tia for your answer, I'll try to be more broad with my choices and try to focus on considering other things too. Ryan F.
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Desiree’s Answer

I really dislike the word "networking" but yeah, you need that. You're probably doing some if it already -- e.g., in high school/college and asking more senior students what professors to take/avoid, who knows of internships or part-time jobs, perhaps you're on LinkedIn.

I realized belatedly how helpful tapping your network can be professionally. Whether it's getting advice on helpful trade journals to which one should subscribe, learning about jobs openings (often before they are public), finding speakers for (or being invited as a speaker) for professional engagements, getting the insight into the culture of a company where you are considering working, having a diverse and robust network can be a real asset. However, they do not grow overnight, and like a plant, it requires some care and feeding. You need to share your insights - e.g., a great virtual training coming up, where to earn a helpful badge for your professional skills, company that's hiring - with your network in a meaningful way (not just mass email blasts to your whole list of contacts - the quickest way to relegated to someone's junk mail folder!). If you're helpful to someone else, they'll be more likely to be helpful to you. You need to nurture your contacts (sometimes once a year is sufficient; for someone you'd like to coach you, clearly more often!) to stay on their radar. And of course, you need to ASK for help - whether it's a job search, tips on negotiating for a promotion, etc. Sometimes that can be the hardest part: humbling yourself to ask for someone else's help. (And you have to be gracious when they cannot/will not help - maybe they are busy with a special project at work, maybe they are facing their own professional challenge, etc. Never burn a bridge!!!)

Desiree recommends the following next steps:

Read up on-line about ways to develop and maintain your network
Use networking tools appropriate for your professional goals (LinkedIn, perhaps thru a trade association or union)
Share insights with your network, as appropriate
Stay in touch to stay on people's radar
Be gracious, even when someone in your network cannot help.
Thank you comment icon Wow, much appreciated Desiree. Think I've learned quite a bit from this paragraph of advice. I'll do my best to stay alert for things like job openings, to invest my time to learn about things about the work I want, to be active in making myself look like a possible candidate, and to try to help others not thinking about getting something in return. Ryan F.
Thank you comment icon Good luck to you, Ryan! You're collecting a lot of terrific advice here!! Desiree Giler Mann
Thank you comment icon Thanks Desiree, same to you Ryan F.
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Aaron’s Answer

Respect yourself because you are something unique and very valuable.
Thank you comment icon And respect others because I respect you Aaron, thanks for your response. Ryan F.
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Jill’s Answer


I learn more by giving than receiving (work, community service).
Life is not a dress rehearsal, you have only one chance to do it right.
Choose what you want to do and not what others think of you.
Don't focus on what you want to be, but what kind of person you want to be.
What you start out doing for work isn't what you'll end up doing.
Do where your strengths and passion lead you, and the money will follow.
Life is seasonal, and not doing everything at the same time-- be patient!
Prepare for the marathon and not the sprint - prioritize.
Thank you comment icon Thank you very much Jill for your response with so much advice! I think all these pieces of advice are amazing and should be mentioned to others so maybe this will help them. Ryan F.
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ARAVINDH’s Answer

Time Management:

When we get a time to do some work try to finish it within the first opportunity. We might think why can't we do it tomorrow even if it's doable later anytime? Well, when we hold up the work incomplete, it will get stacked up. So we might miss other good opportunities, we get less time to understand things, sometimes we won't get time to figure out what went wrong or maybe we can try better if we had enough time. Though, al those attributes counts to one's growth as well as contribution to the society we're living in.
Thank you comment icon I agree that getting work done when first presented keeps things manageable, however I’ve also learned to better manage my time and to prioritize. Early in my career I was so focused on just working and setting a high bar for how I executed. I found it difficult to have fun if there was work to do or finish. Managing time and setting reasonable expectations for yourself and for those you work for gives a better balance in life. I regret not having lived fully earlier in my career. Jerri Traflet
Thank you comment icon Thank you both Aravindh and Jerri for your responses. I will take this into account starting from this day and for the rest of my life. I'll do my best with managing my time, but I think I'll also have to practice that a bit and get used to it. Ryan F.
Thank you comment icon Agree - it's similar to the saying, "work smart, not hard". Efficiency is key. Sandra Tichy
Thank you comment icon Got it, thanks Sandra. Ryan F.
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Sierra’s Answer

Hi Ryan,
My favorite line of wisdom would be " we rarely remember the embarrassing moments of other people." What that means is, often as individuals we are very focused on ourselves, what we look like, act like, what we do but we fail to realize that everyone else around is also just as focused on their own personal life experience. So while its still important to be a good person in society and to not put yourself in harmful situations, do what you want to do, wear what you want to wear, be outgoing or introspective, take calculated risks when you need too. If it flops, people will rarely remember it anyway!
Thank you comment icon I like your answer and thank you for responding Sierra! The first couple sentences remind me of a saying that "everyone you meet is fighting their own problems and you may or may not know about it." The last couple of sentences are quite inspiring, I think yes everyone should be themselves no matter how another judges them. I'll also keep in mind about others rarely remembering embarrassing moments of others. Ryan F.
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Kim’s Answer

Hi Ryan,

For me, that answer is easy. How to socialize! I was one of the "studious" ones throughout high school and college. I never even learned how to dance! I went to a total of one party, and only because I was pressured into it. Knowing how to mingle and make small talk is an important skill. In my professional life, I never went to the department's BBQs, and never even attended a funeral. Because of these things, I didn't really "fit in." At my next job, I always went home for lunch, again, avoiding every possible opportunity to get to know my co-workers. It made it more difficult for me when I had to approach them and ask for assistance on a work-related project.

Of course, I'm not saying to get drunk, but, knowing how to drink responsibly, and interact with co-workers outside of work, is important. And sometimes, these interactions lead to opportunities. You might meet other employees outside of your immediate team. Also, depending on your job, it could be that knowing how to play golf is important. Sometimes business discussions happen on the golf course, and, again, you may meet people who are able to help you advance your professional career. So, if you have the opportunity, learn the game!

Kim
Thank you comment icon Awesome! Thank you Kim for your answer, I think I too am not the best at socializing. Maybe if it's about something I like then I'd be easier like video games, but that's seldom talked about unless my job is full of friends. I'll do my best to work on my social skills to benefit myself in the future. Ryan F.
Thank you comment icon Thank you Ryan for taking the time to write each of us a thank you note, tailored to the response we provided! Kim Igleheart
Thank you comment icon Not a problem! I think it's only right to respond back thanking and showing that I got something out of one's response. Ryan F.
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Hira’s Answer

Trust in your hard work, it always pays off.

You might feel you've tried every single thing possible and you still don't see results but the truth is sometimes hard work pays off after years. So, if you've tried every single thing and still faced failure, let it go and move to the next thing. The rest will take care of itself.
Thank you comment icon I see, thank you for your response Hira. I'll really take this into consideration when I'm trying to accomplish something I want and the things I try to do don't work. I'll try to find another way or something else to accomplish if possible. Ryan F.
Thank you comment icon “When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.” - Alexander Graham Bell. There's opportunity around every corner, you'll do great! Hira Sabri
Thank you comment icon I am dumbfounded by the quote. I think it's a wonderful way to emphasize how there are so many wasted opportunities that aren't seen or found. Thanks for sharing this Hira. Ryan F.
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Nasrin’s Answer

Simple believe in yourself. Let's the mistakes roll off your shoulder. Everybody makes mistakes. Grow to trust your instincts.
Thank you comment icon Thank you Nasrin for your answer. I will do my best to believe in the best in myself growing along the way. Ryan F.
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John’s Answer

Ryan view every person you meet as a mentor that may lead you to a new opportunity. You never know how a person can add to your life professionally or personally if you don't give them a chance. Your job may be a for-now job, but that doesn't mean that the connections you make with the people there won't be forever. It is best to view each person as valuable and worthy of your time and consideration. Possessing a willingness to learn is an attribute that is highly valued in today's workforce. You can continue to learn no matter what stage of your career you are in. When you learn continuously, you can gain more skills and become flexible and adaptable in your career path.
Thank you comment icon Thank you John, I think this is great! Viewing even your peers as a mentor to possibly learn something new I think is a great thing to do. I'll do my best to communicate with others whether it's my group members, teammates, co-workers, or classmates. Ryan F.
Thank you comment icon Alone, we can do so little; together we can do so much, it's the fuel that allows us the ability to work together toward a common vision that allows us to attain uncommon results Ryan. John Frick
Thank you comment icon Did you make that? Should claim that quote heh. Humor aside, I agree! Together can get people much more than if they were alone, but sometimes people struggle with coming together and that's ok. Ryan F.
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Dan’s Answer

Hi Ryan,
I agree with all the answers above...lots of great advice. I will add Take Pride in Your Work.

I luckily learned this at a fairly young age, let me share my story...

One summer day I saw my 15 year old neighbor shoveling gravel for one of our elderly neighbors. He said that she was paying him $6/hour to spread the pile of gravel across her front yard (common in the Phoenix area) but it was too hot and too hard work and that he wasn't going to finish. He snickered and said I could go ask her. As a 12 year old, money making opportunities weren't easy to come by so I went across the street and asked if she still needed help. She said "yes" and I immediately went to work in the hot afternoon sun.

Two hours later, I had finished the remaining pile and knocked on her front door to let her know that the work was done. She thanked me and handed me a $20 bill. Knowing that the amount should have been $12, I told her this was wrong and I handed it back to her. She replied, "No, I saw the size of your shovel loads compared to Jerry's and you worked much harder than he did. You earned it." With a big smile I thanked her and with that $20 bill in my hand I reflected on what just happened as I walked home.

I hadn't known that she had been checking on me through the front window, but I realized that I was just doing the job the only way I knew how…with quality and pride; and she rewarded me for that. Now that won't always be the case in your work life, but if you take pride in the quality of your work then more often than not it will lead to good things. There's an old saying that "A job worth doing, is worth doing right."

All the best!
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Melisa’s Answer

Hi Ryan,

Great question and some fabulous answers from others here already too!

I wish I would have taken people's advice to save money early in life, even a small amount of each paycheck. When I think back to my first jobs after college, I really wish I would have started this much earlier than I did.

Fast forward to my own daughters, now college graduates and thankfully, they've started saving a little, with each paycheck. I like hearing how they feel confident too that if there are any emergencies that come up or something they need money for, they will at least have funds to fall back on, use for something fun, like travel and also donate to causes they support.

Best wishes to you in your future educational and career goals!
Thank you comment icon Wonderful! Thank you very much Melisa for your answer. I think money management is important too and the idea of saving a even a small amount every paycheck is a clever idea. Because eventually you'll have saved up quite a lot, to me it's similar to working out to get fit. You've got to continue doing it if you want to get something out of it. Thanks again and best to you and your daughters as well. Ryan F.
Thank you comment icon Thanks for your feedback Ryan and what a great comparison. I love that. You'll get out of it what you put into it. Thanks again and have a great weekend. Melisa Cameron
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Arnie’s Answer

I'm going to reiterate what many have said, but networking is very important. It's not just useful in your day-to-day, but especially when you are in difficult situations. Having a place to turn to get help, whether it's looking for a job or just trying to understand something, it's important to have somewhere to turn.
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Alyssa’s Answer

I wish I would have realized that there is no ONE right way to do things, and that nothing needs to be pursued so linearly. As an aspiring singer/ songwriter, this is especially true. There's no single way to pursue this career path. I ended up going to school for music, and often look back and somewhat regret the decision of earning my degree that is not truly necessary just because I felt as though I needed to stay in school if I WENT to school in the first place. Of course, I try to stay in a mindset that says "everything happens for a reason, and your timeline goes the way it's meant to", so there is no real reason to have regrets in life.

Overall, I would like to encourage myself to take more risks and to follow my OWN instincts and heart, despite what others will tell me is the right path. If you follow your own path, and it doesn't go as planned, then you learn. If you listen to what others tell you to do, you'll never know what could have been had you listened to your own heart.
Thank you comment icon Thank you very much for your inspirational response Alyssa. When I read the part where it said "everything happens for a reason, and your timeline goes the way it's meant to" i thought of "The choices you make today affect what your life will be like tomorrow" and it made me think about why that is the case. I thought about how one could affect the other and thought that the choices we make whether it's today or right now happened for a reason for tomorrow's life. If this makes sense, not sure if I'm just rambling non-sense but yeah. Thanks again Alyssa for your response, got me thinking deeply. Also I hope for the best in your choice of path with music, good things will come with time. Ryan F.
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Kabir’s Answer

Make and use a 3-5 year plan, but be flexible in adapting it. The value in the plan is not following it, but thinking through it
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Fernando’s Answer

Be patient and don't be afraid to change. You can have a well laid out plan for life, but it will rarely go exactly as you plan it out and it will rarely be achieved quickly. Be adaptable while still sticking to your goal. It's okay to be frustrated with setbacks, but don't dwell on them, instead learn from them and keep moving forward.
Thank you comment icon Thanks Fernando for your answer, I can see that it's good to be different and make different choices. I'll be sure to stay adaptable and especially patient with myself. Ryan F.
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Gloria’s Answer

Something that I wish that I had learned earlier in my life was the power of my own creative self. Being creative through writing is something that I would have happily done for free every day of my life. (And actually something that I still do for free on behalf of charities that I support.) I got side-tracked by the people who told me it wasn't a real job to be a writer (including my parents). And yet that creativity and my passion for it was my greatest strength. I should have leaned into my writing earlier than I did. It was odd how writing became something I did as a part of jobs that I hated - customer service and data entry. I became the keeper of policies and procedures for those jobs, in part to keep myself engaged with my passion for writing. It turned into being a trainer, which turned into my dream job, writing training that helps people be good at what they do. Doing something that you love can make all the hard times more bearable, but at the end of the day, the thing that you love is what gets you through.
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Fonzy’s Answer

I wish I had started learning about investments and investing sooner. Nothing is too little when you have invested while you're young. Do save up while enjoying little things in life. Find balance, what's the point of preparing for the future if you can't enjoy the present. Find a good career and financial mentor, they don't have to be the same person.
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Alyssa’s Answer

I wish I would have realized that there is no ONE right way to do things, and that nothing needs to be pursued so linearly. As an aspiring singer/ songwriter, this is especially true. There's no single way to pursue this career path. I ended up going to school for music, and often look back and somewhat regret the decision of earning my degree that is not truly necessary just because I felt as though I needed to stay in school if I WENT to school in the first place. Of course, I try to stay in a mindset that says "everything happens for a reason, and your timeline goes the way it's meant to", so there is no real reason to have regrets in life.

Overall, I would like to encourage myself to take more risks and to follow my OWN instincts and heart, despite what others will tell me is the right path. If you follow your own path, and it doesn't go as planned, then you learn. If you listen to what others tell you to do, you'll never know what could have been had you listened to your own heart.
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Brent’s Answer

HI Ryan - If I could teach my younger self a life lesson, I would teach him not to be afraid of going after what he wants most. When I was young in the 1990s, I set my future plans based on what would make me the most money, not what would make me the most happy. However, in the end, I was not happy but was making a lot of money. I ended quitting that job the year I turned 30 to try new things that most people did in their 30s. While that gave me an advantage over a lot of other people with less experience, I felt like I had missed so much in my 20s because I was so focused on money. Money is important, but it isn't everything. Be happy, and find your way.
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Simeon’s Answer

I would have learned to not try so hard to reach out to and connect with people I didn't just get along with. At the end of the day, it's better to spend time investing in your connections that work well already, both personally and professionally. That being said, it's still important to take risks and reach out to people in the first place!
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